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What are your funniest Irish sayings?

Aoife9

Sorry if this in the wrong forum or if it's been done before mods please feel free to move if you must, but I lived in the states for a few years and my yankie friends used to crack up at the sayings I had, things I didn't even think were that funny like for example; she/he had a face like a slapped arse or a bulldog sucking a bee etc.... anyway I know there are bound to be some from other counties that I haven't heard before so on a rainy dull Monday give us a laugh and post some here:)

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rainbowtrout

it's as long as it's broad

Solarball10

"Jaysus"

SUNGOD

i always liked "yes i would ,thank you for asking malcolm"

and that old chestnut "dont leave it there peter ,you might wrinkle the flange"

longshanks

on waking up with a massive boner..... 'fetch me my loose trousers, i'll smuggle this into town'

dlofnep

She's a head like a bucket of dicks.

Capt'n Midnight

mumblers , referring to camel toe

"you can see the lips move but you can't make out what they are saying"

TirEoghain

'Pissing like a racehorse'

'He's that awkward and twisted that when he dies, they won't have to bury him, they can just screw him into the ground'

'Pissing in the wind'

'It's the dog's bollix' - I had great fun trying to explain this to my friend's German firlfriend.

'As odd as a bottle of chips'

'She could ate an apple though a letterbox'

TirEoghain

stcatherine wrote: »

"will ya do us a favour" - I must use this one a hundred times a day and it winds him up no end, no idea why !

I think anyone would find it very annoying being asked for a favour 100 times a day in all fairness..

Brendygg

"She'd pike round bales!" in reference to large women.

ajbrowne

Talking to another bloke
I woulnd't even fu(k her with your di(k

She's got a face like a dropped pie

Gun_Slinger

Great thread, sorry if these are repeated.
My favorites:

She/He has a face like a bulldog licking p1ss of a nettle

If I fell into a barrel of t1ts I would come out sucking me thumb - A very unlucky person!

juuge

When meeting someone.....Ah the hard...

Capt'n Midnight

He wouldn't give you the steam off his piss.

kleefarr

"I'll do that now, in a while."

Dave!

Just thought of one (probably mentioned already)....

"As rough as a badger's arse"

lynnlegend

ya'ed stand out like a priest at a play ground

aoife2k

"Full as a bingo bus" (in reference to being drunk) LOVE IT!

TheBazman

Someone who has a high opinion of themselves

"They think their sh1t is toothpaste"

Tha Gopher

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

mumblers , referring to camel toe

"you can see the lips move but you can't make out what they are saying"

I saw the term camel toe online before but never bothered lookin it up (Ive never heard it either in real life or any film)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camel_toe

If I saw a girl like the 3rd picture Id think she was packing meat and veg :eek: Elongated flaps are known as giblets were I come from.

Hagar

Tha Gopher wrote: »

Elongated flaps are known as giblets were I come from.

Where do you live, Turkey ?

Jackz

Lol brilliant.

dan, dan, dan!!

Away an ya shoite!

ya Jinnit or ya Omadorn ?? my ol'fella uses them lots.. growing up over in Eng , its wierd when I had my mates round and he was in full flow so fekkin embarrasing at times

unreggd

An all an Anyways!!

mgmt_crisis

Geebag!!!!

http://www.loganmclain.com/tshirts/geebag/geebag.html

OutlawPete

LMAO

Just watching the Six One news and after a news clip played, Sharon Ni Bheolain said:

"Snared rapid" .. :pac:

Hagar

Zombie thread FTW

biko

Bit old, this thread is. Ah feck it, sayings doesn't get old.

OutlawPete

Just watching the Six One news and after a news clip played, Sharon Ni Bheolain said:

"Snared rapid" ..

What sayings make you smile?

Hank_Jones

Bleedin Deadly!

billymitchell

this is all a bit old hat