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What are your funniest Irish sayings?

  • 24-09-2007 3:53pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭ Aoife9


    Sorry if this in the wrong forum or if it's been done before mods please feel free to move if you must, but I lived in the states for a few years and my yankie friends used to crack up at the sayings I had, things I didn't even think were that funny like for example; she/he had a face like a slapped arse or a bulldog sucking a bee etc.... anyway I know there are bound to be some from other counties that I haven't heard before so on a rainy dull Monday give us a laugh and post some here:)


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,648 ✭✭✭✭ Ruu_Old


    Christ on a bike! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,985 animaX


    "Be jaysus" always makes me laugh!


  • Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 30,997 Mod ✭✭✭✭ dolanbaker


    Aoife9 wrote:
    Sorry if this in the wrong forum or if it's been done before mods please feel free to move if you must, but I lived in the states for a few years and my yankie friends used to crack up at the sayings I had, things I didn't even think were that funny like for example; she/he had a face like a slapped arse or a bulldog sucking a bee etc.... anyway I know there are bound to be some from other counties that I haven't heard before so on a rainy dull Monday give us a laugh and post some here:)

    Did you look in the archives, ar chor ar bith (at all, at all!) ;)


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 12,107 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Dizzyblonde


    Face like a boiled shíte


  • Registered Users Posts: 176 ✭✭ Brady


    "Gob****e"


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,139 Orange69


    Bertie Ahearn is a competent and inspiring leader.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,895 Dave!


    Hoor's boot


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,599 cance


    "d'ya think i came down in the last banana boat"

    STFU!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭ Aoife9


    DaveMcG wrote:
    Hoor's boot
    :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,976 ✭✭✭✭ humanji


    "For the love of St. Bernadette in the Batmobile"
    and
    "F*ck me sideways" always makes me giggle.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,540 ✭✭✭ Aoife9


    A friend of mine from Kerry used to say " I am so hungry I could eat the lamb of God" :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,506 ✭✭✭✭ r3nu4l


    Jaysus 't'was excitin', me blood pressure was up and down like a hoors knickers!

    I was hoppin' mad!

    Am I well? How could I be well with me arse split in two, a hole in the middle and no sign of it healin'?

    I'm so hungry I'd eat the arse off a baby through a tennis racket!

    The phrase "Well aren't you some eejit altogether!"...seems to crack up my English friends.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14 ✭✭✭ mac1970


    Aoife9 wrote:
    A friend of mine from Kerry used to say " I am so hungry I could eat the lamb of God" :D

    And come back and pick his teeth with the nails!!!!

    also

    as sick as a plane to lourdes

    ya bollix

    Fu(k me pink and call me toby


  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 11,473 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Vegeta


    don't know if its an irish saying or what but using "jamp" as the past tense of jump.

    "I jamp off the wall"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭ MikeHoncho


    I could eat a nuns arse through a convent gate.

    or

    Get up the yard!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,669 ✭✭✭ Colonel Sanders


    Orange69 wrote:
    Bertie Ahearn is a competent and inspiring leader.

    LOL!!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,669 ✭✭✭ Colonel Sanders


    If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.

    I once made my boss nearly get sick laughing when i said to him 'as Ben Dunne would say, my hands are tied'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 345 ✭✭ Dreamer 7


    "Get oura tha' garden smell a benjee of ya"
    always makes me smile
    or

    she's as happy as a dog with two mickies


  • Registered Users Posts: 538 mjquinno


    tight

    "if he had two diseases he wouldn't give you one"
    "if you had a bandage in your back pocket he would cut himself"
    "he would pull a penny into a copper wire"

    work well done

    "wouldn't a blind man love to see that"

    loosing her virginity

    "It will be the golden flute that will ride her"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,382 ✭✭✭✭ watna


    Things that I've been told are funny are:

    Somebody just walked you your grave (if you get the shivers), apparently that's an irish thing or another one i used in international company and got a good response is (for a stingy person) "he's as tight as a nuns gee"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭ MikeHoncho


    Im not sure how well this one is gonna go down but:

    "Id ate a mile of her ****e to get a lick of her hole"

    I pissed myself when I heard that one.:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,139 Orange69


    Cheapness:

    He could peel an orange in his pocket.

    If he dropped 50 pence it would hit him on the back of the neck on the way down to pick it up.

    Big lips:

    He could eat his dinner through a tennis raquet.


  • Registered Users Posts: 744 ✭✭✭ Mad Dog


    MikeHoncho wrote:
    Im not sure how well this one is gonna go down but:

    "Id ate a mile of her ****e to get a lick of her hole"

    I pissed myself when I heard that one.:D

    Me too ! ! :D:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 501 ✭✭ mc nuggets


    Fcuk me backwards with a wooden spoon :D

    Christ on a bike is brilliant


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,687 ✭✭✭ Dun laoire


    Shove it up your swiss


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,814 TPD


    'Like a bulldog chewin a wasp' (Been said sorta)
    'Who licked the butter off your scone?'
    'Y'ole hoorbag'
    'If i'd a bag of bruised Mickeys I'd not give her one'


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭ satanta99


    My friends always kill me for using these sorta phrases and tell me that the last time they heard them was from their parents or grandparents.

    I think that this one is gr8 for describing someones meanness!

    "He wouldn't give ya the steam off his piss"

    or some lady with loose morals

    "she'd get up on a gust of wind"

    And I think a gr8 variation of "langer" here in Cork has to be "Langball" can be used in situations where a**hole mite ordinarally be used!

    Also my American friends seem to be fanscinated by the way we talk, with all these sorta phrases and especially the way we say 'ye' instead of 'you' plural!I'd hate to see us losing all these things coz thats wat make us different from the other English speaking countries.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 27,895 Dave!


    Shure, tis only mighty!


  • Registered Users Posts: 18,772 ✭✭✭✭ murphaph


    amn't


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,760 ✭✭✭ Sofaspud


    TPD wrote:
    'Like a bulldog chewin a wasp' (Been said sorta)

    I prefer "like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle" or "a face like a melted wheelie bin"


    A good 'oul Oirish one is "You're in an'out like a fiddler's elbow" for somone who moves about a lot.


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