What are your funniest Irish sayings?

cournioni

"Thats me arse of a crack"

Jonty

"I wouldn't ride her even if she had pedals"

veXual

"You'd be better off throwin stones at a jacket"

Personal favourite of mine

Standard Toaster

"She's a head like a bag of burnt Lego"

Live4Ever

Whiskey when ur sick makes you well, whiskey when your well makes you sick!

Funky G

that would be an ecumenical matter, father.

Funky G

how are ye Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud

storeeeee buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuud

jaysus

fcuk sake

ask me boll ox

Kent Brockman

It could be worse, "shur the ass could be dead and the turf still in the bog"

Kent Brockman

When a cracking girl is going out with a fat/ugly tosser....

"He must have a chocolate cock!"

Rubberlegs

When someone loves themselves: If she was a bar of chocolate she'd eat herself. Or as my friend's Mam says " She thinks she's Calvita cheese. She's not even the cow on the box!"

rrbm

One my dad says when I criticise his driving is 'I was driving before your arse was the size of a shirtbutton'......

_sparkie_

she's only a bleedin' slu

pipelaser

"I will in me week"

AskMyChocolate

"My arse and Pady Flaherty's"

Footnote: I think this may have been the phrase that gave birth to Paddy Whiskey's popularity. Although I have no limks and would be interested. I'm pretty sure it had to do with a revolt by publicans against overpriced established whiskey brands.

I'm still a traitor and a Jameson man.:(

Edit: The lads in the bar who trained me still say it was about a salesman who could sell you a case of anything, and his name happened to be Paddy.

christina_x

The-Rigger wrote: »

Up me arse, pickin daisys

Person 1: Do you know where (name of person/object) is?
Person 2: Is my face red?
Person 1: Nope
Person 2: Well then, theyr/its not up my arse picking daisys

christina_x

Michaelrsh wrote: »

F*#~ me pink and call me pony!

**** me pink and call me rosie

i seen a few variations of this one!

StereoLove

You've got Bob hope and no hope:) This one always cracks me up!

delaad

This may have been mentioned before, but the Germans, seemingly, reckon that one of our funniest sayings - in a country where things, in their eyes, could not possibly be more desperate - is....."Ah, sure, there's nothing bad, but could be worse."

FarmerGreen

delaad wrote: »

This may have been mentioned before, but the Germans, seemingly, reckon that one of our funniest sayings - in a country where things, in their eyes, could not possibly be more desperate - is....."Ah, sure, there's nothing bad, but could be worse."

I heard it as.
Enjoy the war while you can.
When its over there will be nothing for us.
Could be wrong.

puffdragon

"Ah sure that'n has no arse , just a hole in her back!"

"As sure as there's ****e in a dog!"

"Fit as a butcher's dog"

Bad hangover; "I've a heed like a football and a mouth like a boxers armpit"

some_dose

Your so cool you'd **** icecream

ItsAWindUp

Don't piss down my back and tell me its raining!

caseyann

I know what you are up to and you aint getting my grandads and grannies sayings :mad:
Trying to write a book and make millions :mad:

xxchloexx

"Im sweatin' like Fritzl on MTV cribs"

"He's a face only a mother could love"

"He's so tight he still has his communion money"

CrazySnakeLady

From the average Irish mammy

"If you break your legs don't come running to me"

I always loved that one

mardybumbum

If I wanted my comeback, I would have scraped it off your mothers face.

mrsdewinter

"well... she wouldn't stand in a gate for ya..."
It means the person is rather flaky and not to be relied upon.
I think the equivalent for a man is to say that he's "very come day, go day".
As far as funny Irish sayings go, I think it's hilarious that "fierce" - a word my father applies to bad weather - is now the height of praise for young fashionistas on shows like Project Runway. I'm just waiting for Tyra to praise some young model's catwalk strut as "mighty altogether". Then I can die happy.

caseyann

oh deja vu in here :p

upandcumming

Face like a painter's radio

As happy as a Northside girl in a barrel of mickeys!

A face like a chewed toffee!

NoHornJan

Farmer:- If I don't get married this year I'll have to buy an ass...

madheaded

wouldnt ride her into battle
come up out of it
im as full as a tinkers nappy
me mouths as dry as gandhis slipper

spudd

"ah you'll get that in small towns and large parishes"

love it!

Mike O' Brien

She has a fanny like a wizards sleeve.

jackiebaron

Rather dim girl:

"She has a brain like a two-watt bulb"

A man-eater:

"She'd fück a town down and laugh at the ruins"

A cheapskate:

"He's so tight that when he farts only dogs hear it.":P

evil_seed

Arra me bollix

citizen_p

"sure if she/he was any thinner hed only need the one eye"
"she could it and apple throught a letter box"

Flash86

"Sure where'd you be going without a bell on your bike and your knickers ringin' "

"Bless us and save us, says old mrs. Davis. Sure I never knew herrings were fish. "

”Hey! The world’s in a state of chassis .......and so is my Butterkrust van.”

My mam used to say all of these. No idea what any of them are meant to me but I love them.

psycho-hope

feck that for a game of soilders:)

Godsentme

In Waterford we used to say;

She'd suck cock from here to New Ross and slide back on the juice...

DonalN

Riding her would be like waving a baton in the opera house.

Brendog

"As sick as a plane to Lourdes"

"I'd crawl across a mile of broken glass to suck the exhaust pipe of the van that carries her dirty socks"




When you used to ask your parents for something (lets say a bag of crisps) and they would say, "CRISPS?!?! I'LL GIVE YA CRISPS!!".......WTF?

thomond2006

Fup off, you grasshole.

okee

Brendog wrote: »

"I'd crawl across a mile of broken glass to suck the exhaust pipe of the van that carries her dirty socks"

Priceless

Brendog wrote: »

When you used to ask your parents for something (lets say a bag of crisps) and they would say, "CRISPS?!?! I'LL GIVE YA CRISPS!!".......WTF?

Or "Can i have a packet of crisps", "I'll can i have a packet of crisps you if you're not careful"

naasrd

"we've lost our sovereignty".

For a nation so hooked on English soaps, newspapers and soccer teams than train left a long, long time agao.

kfallon

Brendog wrote: »

When you used to ask your parents for something (lets say a bag of crisps) and they would say, "CRISPS?!?! I'LL GIVE YA CRISPS!!".......WTF?

I used to get the response, "I'll crisps your arse for ya!"

Basically it was the same reply every time just change 'crisps' for whatever you asked for.

Just glad I never asked if I could have some Cadburys Fingers

Wompa1

Plain and simple the "argh ah would ya stop" or "argh ah would ya go away out of that"

It's our are ya avin' a laugh

My dad always says argh a musha before he says something..makes no sense

mandrake04

Haven't read through the whole thread.. but I will when I get time. Not sure if these 2 have already been posted.


I'm so hungry I could eat the diseased arm of a dead baby.

Or in regards to a good looking girl.

I would eat her shite with a rusty spoon

sarah.

haha such a great thread, just read through most of it and it's just brilliant! I know some myself but can't for the world think of them! feck it anyway!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Mup out of that!

Burst him!!

Thundering Bollocks!

In the name of Lateran Jaysus!

Mickey H

F*** me pink. Haven't heard it in years but it was very popular in the '90's.