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Dental plan!

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    #9002
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Fire crackers; the silent killer!


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    #9003
    Fanny Wank
    Registered Users Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    When the fire starts to burn, There's a lesson you must learn. Something, something, then you see, You'll avoid catastrophe!


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    #9004
    Quantum Erasure
    Registered Users Posts: 8,267 ✭✭✭Quantum Erasure


    'Inflammable' means flammable? What a country!


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    #9005
    VonLuck
    Registered Users Posts: 2,185 ✭✭✭VonLuck


    Quantum Erasure wrote: »
    'Inflammable' means flammable? What a country!

    For a long time I thought he said "what a contrary!", which kind of made sense in my head!


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    #9006
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,094 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Gonna dig me a hole gonna dig me a hole
    Gonna put a Nerd in it gonna put a Nerd in it
    Gonna take a fire cracker gonna take a fire cracker


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    #9007
    FarmerBrowne
    Registered Users Posts: 483 ✭✭FarmerBrowne


    Did anyone on this forum ever get up to answer the phone and say "HELLO.........Barts friend Milhouse" while scratching their behind? Personally I only did it if the phone had stopped ringing once I answered.


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    #9008
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    FarmerBrowne wrote: »
    Did anyone on this forum ever get up to answer the phone and say "HELLO.........Barts friend Milhouse" while scratching their behind? Personally I only did it if the phone had stopped ringing once I answered.
    Hello Homer. This is God...frey Jones of TV's rock bottom


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    #9009
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Quantum Erasure wrote: »
    'Inflammable' means flammable? What a country!

    If you don’t like it, go to Russia.


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    #9010
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Ipso wrote: »
    If you don’t like it, go to Russia.

    Abe Simpson: My Homer is not a Communist! He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a pornstar!


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    #9011
    P.Walnuts
    Registered Users Posts: 4,759 ✭✭✭P.Walnuts


    So I said "Hey buddy your car was upside down when I got here, and as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that"


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    #9012
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    Hello Homer. This is God...frey Jones of TV's rock bottom

    “Hello mother , hello father, here I am at, camp Granada “
    Marge, is Lisa in camp Granada?


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    #9013
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,094 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Two four six eight
    Homers crime was very great
    Great meaning large or immense
    We use it in the pejorative sense


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    #9014
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    RobbingBandit wrote: »
    Two four six eight
    Homers crime was very great
    Great meaning large or immense
    We use it in the pejorative sense

    Gags like this make me weak at the knees


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    #9015
    Fanny Wank
    Registered Users Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    Simpson Scandal Update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!

    That episode was absolutely brilliant


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    #9016
    Fanny Wank
    Registered Users Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    Insurance Guy: Any valuables in the house?

    Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars--

    Insurance Guy: Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.

    Homer: Well that's just great!


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    #9017
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Security sales man: but sir, you can't put a value on your families safety
    Homer: you'd think, but here we are


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    #9018
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,994 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Fanny **** wrote: »
    Simpson Scandal Update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers!

    That episode was absolutely brilliant
    "HEY, THAT'S A HALF TRUTH!"


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    #9019
    Padre_Pio
    Registered Users Posts: 4,961 ✭✭✭Padre_Pio


    Remember Marge, if anything goes wrong, just blame it on the guy who can't speak English.
    Ah Tibor, how many times have you saved my butt!
    FarmerBrowne wrote: »
    And this is your office. That idiot Tibor lost the key, but you can jimmy it open with a credit card.

    I'm used to seeing people getting promoted ahead of me. Friends, coworkers, Tibor, but I never thought it would be my own wife!


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    #9020
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Nerdkiller1991 wrote: »
    "HEY, THAT'S A HALF TRUTH!"

    Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home, then I noticed she was sitting on / her / sweet can... / so I grabbed / her / sweet can... / Ohhhh, just thinking about / her / can... / I just wish I had / her / sweet, sweet / s/s/sweet can...

    Godfrey: So, Mr. Simpson, you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?

    (we see a still video shot of Homer looking lustful)

    Godfrey: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further! (the frozen image of Homer begins to slowly zoom in)

    Godfrey: No, Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me! Get back! Get back! M-Mr. Simpson! NOOOO!
    (freeze frames on the screaming Godfrey)

    Announcer: Dramatization. May not have happened.


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    #9021
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,094 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    I love the clock changing during that interview


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    #9022
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Your tears say more than real evidence ever could.


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    #9023
    Fanny Wank
    Registered Users Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaS5VIGsS0E


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    #9024
    Fanny Wank
    Registered Users Posts: 1,288 ✭✭✭Fanny Wank




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    #9025
    Frankie5Angels
    Registered Users Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭Frankie5Angels


    Not a quote, but a request for help to find one....!

    In one episode, Grampa imparts some advice to Homer about Marge, basically saying she's the best thing that ever happened to him. I think it's along the lines of having hooked the best catch, and whopping it over the head and hauling it in, basically she's the best you'll ever do.

    Does that ring enough bells for anyone to give me the actual quote?!


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    #9026
    Raconteuse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,817 ✭✭✭Raconteuse


    Frankie5Angels wrote: »
    Not a quote, but a request for help to find one....!

    In one episode, Grampa imparts some advice to Homer about Marge, basically saying she's the best thing that ever happened to him. I think it's along the lines of having hooked the best catch, and whopping it over the head and hauling it in, basically she's the best you'll ever do.

    Does that ring enough bells for anyone to give me the actual quote?!
    It's when Marge gets pregnant with Bart:

    Son, you've got to marry that girl.

    - Because it's the honorable thing to do?

    No! Because you'll never do any better! Heh heh heh, you lucky bum. The fish jumped right in the boat, and all you gotta do is whack her with the oar!


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    #9027
    Frankie5Angels
    Registered Users Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭Frankie5Angels


    Raconteuse wrote: »
    It's when Marge gets pregnant with Bart:

    Son, you've got to marry that girl.

    - Because it's the honorable thing to do?

    No! Because you'll never do any better! Heh heh heh, you lucky bum. The fish jumped right in the boat, and all you gotta do is whack her with the oar!

    Genuine thanks, I've been racking my brain for months on this one, only thought of posting here last night!


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    #9028
    Sin City
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭Sin City


    Lisa " Dad you cant drive, they took your license"

    Homer" Well Im gonna try anyway"

    Homer turns key in ignition

    Homer" Wohoo it worked"


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    #9029
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    Homer: And the whole steel mill was gay.

    Moe: Jeez, where ya been, Homer? The whole steel *industry's* gay.


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    #9030
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Ipso wrote: »
    Homer: And the whole steel mill was gay.

    Moe: Jeez, where ya been, Homer? The whole steel *industry's* gay.

    Oh be nice!


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    #9031
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Bart: Look at all this great stuff, Lis. Cool, personalized plates. Barclay, Barry, Bert, Bort?! Aw, c'mon, Bort?

    Bort Jr: Mommy, mommy, buy me a license plate!

    Mother: No. Come along, Bort.

    Mr. Bort: Are you talking to me?

    Mother: No. My son is also named Bort.


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