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Sex party, have you ever been?

12357…12

Comments

  • #202
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    johnnyflash

    do ya use tinder and plenty of fish.

    i defo think you should set up a blog


  • #203
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Candie wrote: »
    Sweetie, if they're being paid then pretending to be gagging for it is part of the job. It's not that you're so irresistible that they can't wait to be subjected to your grunting and the ensuing disappointment.

    Though really, this thread makes me smile. My young nephews come up with better fiction.


    I reckon these burds would be after such a right good seeing to, they would forego being paid.

    There isnt a prozzie in the world that could pass up on 23 seconds of a chubby* balding* sweating grunting Johnny Flash pounding away like a kango, hammering the lucky victim lady into hitherto inexperienced levels of orgasmic ecstasy. They might as well retire there and then, everything will pale in comparison to this one night, their apogee of carnal pleasure.


  • #204
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    I reckon these burds would be after such a right good seeing to, they would forego being paid.

    There isnt a prozzie in the world that could pass up on 23 seconds of a chubby* balding* sweating grunting Johnny Flash pounding away like a kango, hammering the lucky victim lady into hitherto inexperienced levels of orgasmic ecstasy. They might as well retire there and then, everything will pale in comparison to this one night, their apogee of carnal pleasure.

    I'd love him to run into his wife, moonlighting as a paid companion called Natalia Wankov for extra cash while she thinks he's out strolling the links.

    It'd be like the sleazy version of the Pina Colada Song.


  • #205
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    The moral majority types are the ones that will say "I don't normally do this" a few times a month, unlike our friend Paddy. You wouldn't believe the women that come on to you in the pub, the ones you would least expect... Or the married guys banging other women, male feminist types are the worst.


  • #206
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    I reckon these burds would be after such a right good seeing to, they would forego being paid.

    There isnt a prozzie in the world that could pass up on 23 seconds of a chubby* balding* sweating grunting Johnny Flash pounding away like a kango, hammering the lucky victim lady into hitherto inexperienced levels of orgasmic ecstasy. They might as well retire there and then, everything will pale in comparison to this one night, their apogee of carnal pleasure.

    No offence mate, but you come across as a dude who hasn’t had the pleasure of a good ride in a long time. Might be playing it up in your head at this stage. Performance anxiety we all get. Suggest you stop putting women up on a pedestal, be yourself, and stop trying to be a knight in shining armour. You can have that advice for nout.


  • #207
    ThinkProgress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    Candie wrote: »
    Sweetie, if they're being paid then pretending to be gagging for it is part of the job. It's not that you're so irresistible that they can't wait to be subjected to your grunting and the ensuing disappointment.

    Though really, this thread makes me smile. My young nephews come up with better fiction.

    Most are nymphomaniacs... so I'd say they are probably gagging for it. (but not necessarily for the person - just what's in their trousers) :p


  • #208
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,780 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    This is the best thread I've seen here in years.


  • #209
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    No offence mate, but you come across as a dude who hasn’t had the pleasure of a good ride in a long time. Might be playing it up in your head at this stage. Performance anxiety we all get. Suggest you stop putting women up on a pedestal, be yourself, and stop trying to be a knight in shining armour. You can have that advice for nout.

    Ill take that nugget to the bank.
    Pure gold.

    Theres apparently treatment for any performance anxiety you have. We dont all get it, despite what theyre telling you.

    Youre right though, i havent had a daycent ride in 3 or 4 days. Met some auld doll the other day. Her husband was off at the races with their kids.

    Tidy enough little thing. God she was gagging though. No stamina however, id say she hadnt gone more than 30 seconds in years. Went real slow for the first 15 mins, gradually speeding up the tempo. By the time I'd finished the foreplay, and actually put in the tip, she was roaring like the hoor among the nettles. By the time the whole lot was in, the Gardai were outside.
    Man, she destroyed the place before she blacked out from exhaustion. Id say her poor schmuck of a husband wont even touch the sides for months.


  • #210
    _Kaiser_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,030 ✭✭✭✭_Kaiser_


    professore wrote: »
    The moral majority types are the ones that will say "I don't normally do this" a few times a month, unlike our friend Paddy. You wouldn't believe the women that come on to you in the pub, the ones you would least expect... Or the married guys banging other women, male feminist types are the worst.

    I just find it hilarious how personally some are talking the antics (or idea of the antics if you prefer) of the 2 boys. Here I thought we'd moved on from the narrow definition of sex in this country.

    Also, as I'm sure any of the ladies here would attest to, the internet dating world is full of guys like Paddy and Johnny - and equally there's plenty of attached/married women - all looking for a good time.

    There's any number of reasons why too but it's usually something lacking at home. It's easy to say "well just leave then!" but maybe not so much if you have a couple of kids, a mortgage and a tight budget. Ideally of course you'd work on the problem with your partner, but what if they don't want to? What if the current state of affairs suits their needs just fine?

    My point is that relationships and sex aren't something you can throw a one-for-all answer at, and unless you know the full details of what's going on, then maybe don't be so quick to throw stones.


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  • #211
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Paddy & Johnny - keep the stories coming lads. Absolutely epic reading


  • #212
    demanufactured
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,756 ✭✭✭demanufactured


    I'd say the lads are too busy horsing the sausage up the chocolate stairway of some young polish wan who's absolutely gagging for it.


  • #213
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,167 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    anewme wrote: »
    The women would be laughing at the likes of you. Like a bad caricature a gropey perve and ogler to be avoided at all costs. With the conversation skills and intellect of a bluebottle.

    Talking about gashes and minges and flutes and sucking me knob at 50 odd

    It’s hilarious .

    You could just not keep a straight face.

    Every office has one!

    I wish. My job would be a it more entertaining if there was.


  • #214
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    Ill take that nugget to the bank.
    Pure gold.

    Theres apparently treatment for any performance anxiety you have. We dont all get it, despite what theyre telling you.

    Youre right though, i havent had a daycent ride in 3 or 4 days. Met some auld doll the other day. Her husband was off at the races with their kids.

    Tidy enough little thing. God she was gagging though. No stamina however, id say she hadnt gone more than 30 seconds in years. Went real slow for the first 15 mins, gradually speeding up the tempo. By the time I'd finished the foreplay, and actually put in the tip, she was roaring like the hoor among the nettles. By the time the whole lot was in, the Gardai were outside.
    Man, she destroyed the place before she blacked out from exhaustion. Id say her poor schmuck of a husband wont even touch the sides for months.


    You implying that you banged me ex-wife - pal? Rather you than me to be honest, but whatever gets you off. Be hard to touch the sides anyway: she has a fanny on her like a ripped out fireplace and is as dry as an old dog’s nose. Any port in a storm for yourself I suppose. Beats another date with Guru Palm and the five pillars of wisdom. :mad:


  • #215
    Ted Plain
    Closed Accounts Posts: 222 ✭✭Ted Plain


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    Nah. I don't have time for all that. Too busy bringing home the money.

    In fact, the missus heading away on a break is my second favourite time after my own holidays. Kids dropped to the grandparents. Have the gaff to myself for the week. Feet up. Chinese takeaway and a few cans with the gaff to myself. Fantastic stuff.

    Might head to that house nightclub with that JohnnyFlash fella next time hahaha!

    You can't bate that, alright!

    You and young Johnny post in a style that puts me in mind of Boards a couple of years ago and a well-known poster of those heady days. He used to spray everything in scutter instead of jizz, though. :D
    Flower124 wrote: »
    :). That's what you think. Women have sex outside marriage just as much as men. Monogamy can very restricting for women aswell. Why be with one man when I can be with many?
    I am married, and I am having an affair with a man in Spain. He is constant. Also if I meet a young man abroad that I want to have sex with, I will. I agree, it is easier to get away with abroad.
    Monogamy can be stifling for all of us. I see no harm in being with someone else as long as the other partner also has that option.
    So as long as you are totally fine with the idea of your wife getting a rimjob off a 20 year old Eastern European man( and believe me alot of married women like the younger men abroad) no harm done

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahwPfIZSqYo


    FWD to 21:00 :pac: On a crate of aubergines!


  • #216
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    You implying that you banged me ex-wife - pal? Rather you than me to be honest, but whatever gets you off. Be hard to touch the sides anyway: she has a fanny on her like a ripped out fireplace and is as dry as an old dog’s nose. Any port in a storm for yourself I suppose. Beats another date with Guru Palm and the five pillars of wisdom. :mad:

    It must be a coincidence.
    This burd was wetter than otters pocket . She had a kind of wide eyed 'virgin on prom night' when she saw the size of it. Im kind of used to it, but i wouldnt be surprised if it was her first "two hander". Certainly the first mickey shes held in years that didnt just go off in her hand "because they all do" she seemed to think.
    In fairnes, she wasnt long getting to grips with it and was soon suckin like an 1100 gallon Abbey, with showers forecast for the morning. Not exactly a wizards sleeve, i found it comfortable, quiet bijoux. a more slender member might have struggled to make contact all round.

    She reminded me of a 68 mustang, with a bad owner. Not maintained and badly driven. Sticky pistons and clutch gone because the owner couldnt take her for a proper ride. But once you cleared out those cylinder, she was mad to go- man she was throaty when she snarled at full throttle.


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  • #217
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,167 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    She has had more pricks than a second hand dart board.


  • #218
    anewme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,051 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Another good feature of this thread is the "new" poster who turns up early every morning asking the same question (why does it bother you?) to various people and then disappears without a trace into obscurity, only to appear in another guise the next morning asking the same question.

    They must wait up all night and then post just as the dawn breaks when the mods are having their second sleep.

    This really is a bizarrely brilliant thread!


  • #219
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,444 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    Think I've just rekindled my love for After Hours :D


  • #220
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Ted Plain wrote: »
    FWD to 21:00 :pac: On a crate of aubergines!

    Never forward through an episode of Paths To Freedom!
    Tis a sin.


  • #221
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    This thread :D


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  • #222
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    And they said online forums are a dying art form ...


  • #223
    Seve OB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,104 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    The poor aul OP.

    this thread has gone off on such a tangent, there is no talk about any sex party and he still doesn't know if he should go or just raffle off his ticket to one lucky boardsie


  • #224
    Pintman Paddy Losty
    Registered Users Posts: 1,913 ✭✭✭Pintman Paddy Losty


    Candie wrote: »
    Sweetie, if they're being paid then pretending to be gagging for it is part of the job. It's not that you're so irresistible that they can't wait to be subjected to your grunting and the ensuing disappointment.

    Though really, this thread makes me smile. My young nephews come up with better fiction.

    Listen pet, not really too concerned whether or not you think I'm telling the truth here. Goes with the territory here on these boards but all I can say is I haven't been telling any fibs. Not my style sweetcheeks.

    All I can go on is my own experiences and I can tell you that the birds I've played the beast of two backs with all seem to have a good time. What's not to like. We normally have a couple of villas rented for the week. The birds arrive, nice spread of food is normally laid on. Plenty of drink and whatever other vice tickles your fancy. Some of the younger lads are fond of the devil's dandruff, not my scene tho. I stay away from the performance enhancers. Everyone has a good time. Bitta dancing. Bitta skinny dipping. Great craic. Everyone having a right good laugh.

    Two summers ago I spent the nearly the whole week with the same bird. Young asian one. Think she was chinese or maybe thai. I'm brutal at telling the orientals apart. Anyway, she hadn't much English but she took a shine to Paddy from the outset. She definitely enjoyed herself! Wined, dined and 69'd. She had a snatch on her like parochial house peephole! Not normally a fan of the bush but she had a small thicket of wiry shrub and it suited her well.

    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.


  • #225
    Franz Von Peppercorn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,070 ✭✭✭Franz Von Peppercorn


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    Was the last line there from Persuasion or Pride and Prejudice? I forget.


  • #226
    Boom_Bap
    Moderators, Music Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,734 Mod ✭✭✭✭Boom_Bap


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    Listen pet, not really too concerned whether or not you think I'm telling the truth here. Goes with the territory here on these boards but all I can say is I haven't been telling any fibs. Not my style sweetcheeks.

    All I can go on is my own experiences and I can tell you that the birds I've played the beast of two backs with all seem to have a good time. What's not to like. We normally have a couple of villas rented for the week. The birds arrive, nice spread of food is normally laid on. Plenty of drink and whatever other vice tickles your fancy. Some of the younger lads are fond of the devil's dandruff, not my scene tho. I stay away from the performance enhancers. Everyone has a good time. Bitta dancing. Bitta skinny dipping. Great craic. Everyone having a right good laugh.

    Two summers ago I spent the nearly the whole week with the same bird. Young asian one. Think she was chinese or maybe thai. I'm brutal at telling the orientals apart. Anyway, she hadn't much English but she took a shine to Paddy from the outset. She definitely enjoyed herself! Wined, dined and 69'd. She had a snatch on her like parochial house peephole! Not normally a fan of the bush but she had a small thicket of wiry shrub and it suited her well.

    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird

    ae556f85f4ec302481f35a271b6cf5d3.jpg


  • #227
    ThinkProgress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    Hookers and your own hand... sounds like the missus doesn't put out much back at the auld homestead! (I wonder why that might be...??) :P


  • #228
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    Listen pet, not really too concerned whether or not you think I'm telling the truth here. Goes with the territory here on these boards but all I can say is I haven't been telling any fibs. Not my style sweetcheeks.

    All I can go on is my own experiences and I can tell you that the birds I've played the beast of two backs with all seem to have a good time. What's not to like. We normally have a couple of villas rented for the week. The birds arrive, nice spread of food is normally laid on. Plenty of drink and whatever other vice tickles your fancy. Some of the younger lads are fond of the devil's dandruff, not my scene tho. I stay away from the performance enhancers. Everyone has a good time. Bitta dancing. Bitta skinny dipping. Great craic. Everyone having a right good laugh.

    Two summers ago I spent the nearly the whole week with the same bird. Young asian one. Think she was chinese or maybe thai. I'm brutal at telling the orientals apart. Anyway, she hadn't much English but she took a shine to Paddy from the outset. She definitely enjoyed herself! Wined, dined and 69'd. She had a snatch on her like parochial house peephole! Not normally a fan of the bush but she had a small thicket of wiry shrub and it suited her well.

    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    I believe every last word, Precious.

    Every syllable rings true and there's no reason why anyone would doubt the word of anyone on the internet. No reason for a catch like yourself to fib, right Stud?


  • #229
    Pintman Paddy Losty
    Registered Users Posts: 1,913 ✭✭✭Pintman Paddy Losty


    Candie wrote: »
    I believe every last word, Precious.

    Every syllable rings true and there's no reason why anyone would doubt the word of anyone on the internet. No reason for a catch like yourself to fib, right Stud?

    Good girl. Glad you believe me.


  • #230
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Candie wrote: »
    I believe every last word, Precious.

    Every syllable rings true and there's no reason why anyone would doubt the word of anyone on the internet. No reason for a catch like yourself to fib, right Stud?

    Don't think Pintman is sayin' anything too unbelievable or outrageous. The Algrave is crawling with titty bars, brazzers and casinos. And big groups of Irish lads head over there to play golf, drink and end up up to the seam of their sac in fanny. Been going on for years. You would just hope they wrap the pork sword before heading into battle. Dont want them coming home crawlin' with a dose of crotch rot.
    Sure for all we know, you could be making stuff up or be an imaginary character yerself. :eek:


  • #231
    pilly
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,005 ✭✭✭pilly


    Seve OB wrote: »
    The poor aul OP.

    this thread has gone off on such a tangent, there is no talk about any sex party and he still doesn't know if he should go or just raffle off his ticket to one lucky boardsie

    Ah I think Johnny Flash deserves the prize. Don't you?


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  • #232
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't know if I'm impressed or repulsed by some of the prose on this thread!


  • #233
    Malayalam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,188 ✭✭✭Malayalam


    images.jpg


  • #234
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    You implying that you banged me ex-wife - pal? Rather you than me to be honest, but whatever gets you off. Be hard to touch the sides anyway: she has a fanny on her like a ripped out fireplace and is as dry as an old dog’s nose. Any port in a storm for yourself I suppose. Beats another date with Guru Palm and the five pillars of wisdom. :mad:

    :D:D:D:D:D:D

    Best post in the Best thread ever !!

    Surely this will have to be stickied on to the thread of all time classic threads!!

    This is almost as good as the dogging one a few years back!

    And I don't get the anger at Paddy and JFlash ???

    Jealousy me thinks ...


  • #235
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    Listen pet, not really too concerned whether or not you think I'm telling the truth here. Goes with the territory here on these boards but all I can say is I haven't been telling any fibs. Not my style sweetcheeks.

    All I can go on is my own experiences and I can tell you that the birds I've played the beast of two backs with all seem to have a good time. What's not to like. We normally have a couple of villas rented for the week. The birds arrive, nice spread of food is normally laid on. Plenty of drink and whatever other vice tickles your fancy. Some of the younger lads are fond of the devil's dandruff, not my scene tho. I stay away from the performance enhancers. Everyone has a good time. Bitta dancing. Bitta skinny dipping. Great craic. Everyone having a right good laugh.

    Two summers ago I spent the nearly the whole week with the same bird. Young asian one. Think she was chinese or maybe thai. I'm brutal at telling the orientals apart. Anyway, she hadn't much English but she took a shine to Paddy from the outset. She definitely enjoyed herself! Wined, dined and 69'd. She had a snatch on her like parochial house peephole! Not normally a fan of the bush but she had a small thicket of wiry shrub and it suited her well.

    She may not have been able to speak a word of the queen's English but her eyes said she was enamoured. She was like a whimpering like puppy dog when I was leaving after the week. I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    When youre done with these burds Paddy, how are they expected to go back to their normal lives? Surely after seeing such riches they can no longer live with being poor.

    When "she" said her name was Cathy, she said Katheoy, and will probably need sutures and rebalancing after being destroyed by your relentless and merciless pounding, Id say only one of you had any bit of a step at all. I heard one of the lads saying the poor chap couldn't even sit on a gurney in the A+E waiting to be pumped out. His hoop was like another aisan nations flag.

    Still though, I cant imagine a classier and more sophisticated soiree with a bitta grub and booze laid on. A few cocktail sausages and cans of stella, on the terrace of the villa. pure Falcon crest - Living the dream boi.


  • #236
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »
    L

    I returned home with a spring in my step and some fantastic imagery built up in the wankbank.

    Just when I thought it couldn't get better !!

    :D


  • #237
    anewme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,051 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    pilly wrote: »
    Ah I think Johnny Flash deserves the prize. Don't you?

    Yeah the BOOBY prize (in more ways than one!)


  • #238
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Don't think Pintman is sayin' anything too unbelievable or outrageous. The Algrave is crawling with titty bars, brazzers and casinos. And big groups of Irish lads head over there to play golf, drink and end up up to the seam of their sac in fanny. Been going on for years. You would just hope they wrap the pork sword before heading into battle. Dont want them coming home crawlin' with a dose of crotch rot.
    Sure for all we know, you could be making stuff up or be an imaginary character yerself. :eek:

    I cant believe the local brazzers are having anything to do with Irish golfers in the Algarve at this stage. Surely they're so badly destroyed by our middle aged golfing heros, reeking of Lynx Africa*, in their Farah slacks and y-fronts, it renders them unfit for any further use for at least a month? Would a ho make enough in three nights with these sex panthers to cover her overheads. Would an experienced ho last even three nights of this Gomorrah?

    And the poor cleaners having to clean up after this carnal carnage; corridors slick with quim lather, pools of gentlemens relish in the kitchen.
    Piles of supersized condom litter overflowing the receptacles. Ripped off panties and bras with teeth marks behind every stick of furniture, abandoned and forgotten by their owners in their haste to flee while they can still hobble.
    That pool filter will never be right after all the sods worn away in there.




    *im not over that.


  • #239
    lukesmom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,400 ✭✭✭lukesmom


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Don’t go breaking up with the wife if you’re happy and getting your hole on a semi-regular basis. Not advocating that at all. But there’s no point in been stuck in a lovelsss marriage either, like what happened to me. Having some bird pulling on your pole in the back of a taxi on the way back to her place is better than any antidepressant..... :cool:

    As a woman I actually agree. If the sex is non existent then move on, unless of course its for an extremely valid reason like very poor health/illness. Life is too damn short to have bad/no sex.


  • #240
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    And the poor cleaners having to clean up after this carnal carnage; corridors slick with quim lather, pools of gentlemens relish in the kitchen.


    /puts down tuna and mayo sandwich.


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  • #241
    RubyGlee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 376 ✭✭RubyGlee


    Hang on now,they get fed too??


  • #242
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    pilly wrote: »
    Ah I think Johnny Flash deserves the prize. Don't you?

    Wouldn't rule out going to a sex party if the people were fairly good looking and in middling shape. I'd give it a miss if the attendees looked like something from the mosh pit at a heavy metal gig or the queue for a comic convention. Have this image of a load of lads standing around trying to keep a semi on themselves while waiting for a go. Wouldnt be in to that. :(


  • #243
    Jurgen Klopp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,807 ✭✭✭Jurgen Klopp


    Now this is classic After Hours, funniest posts I've read in a while :D

    Pintman Paddy Losty and JonnyFlash don't know if ye are rising lads or serious but ye are feckin brilliant

    What's even better is all people getting so annoyed and angry with ye :D

    All we need is Fluttering Bantam to return and tell us about the time he did some lady up the brown Thomas and she scuttered all over him :pac:


  • #244
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,886 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    Jurgen Klopp wrote: »
    Now this is classic After Hours, funniest posts I've read in a while :D

    Pintman Paddy Losty and JonnyFlash don't know if ye are rising lads or serious but ye are feckin brilliant

    What's even better is all people getting so annoyed and angry with ye :D

    All we need is Fluttering Bantam to return and tell us about the time he did some lady up the brown Thomas and she scuttered all over him :pac:

    Indeed indeed, like the AH of the old days.

    Those lads done well and fairly stemmed a good few tugboats in their time.

    Bit jealous meself, never got to a sex party , nearest thing was walking into the sacristy and coming on Fr. Brian Geraghty with his soutane up under his chin, pumping gouts of man porridge towards an empty collection bowl on the floor.

    Bollox on him like a pair of rotten coconuts.

    Great to hear from lads like yerselves.

    Livens the place up.


  • #245
    TomSweeney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    Jurgen Klopp wrote: »
    ... about the time he did some lady up the brown Thomas and she scuttered all over him :pac:

    Please link this !!!

    :D


  • #246
    TomSweeney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,249 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    "Bollox on him like a pair of rotten coconuts."

    :D keep it coming lads!!!


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  • #247
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Indeed indeed, like the AH of the old days.

    Those lads done well and fairly stemmed a good few tugboats in their time.

    Bit jealous meself, never got to a sex party , nearest thing was walking into the sacristy and coming on Fr. Brian Geraghty with his soutane up under his chin, pumping gouts of man porridge towards an empty collection bowl on the floor.

    Bollox on him like a pair of rotten coconuts.

    Great to hear from lads like yerselves.

    Livens the place up.

    Ah for fux ache Brendan
    Thats some money shot


  • #248
    JohnnyFlash
    Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Brendan Bendar wrote: »
    Indeed indeed, like the AH of the old days.

    Those lads done well and fairly stemmed a good few tugboats in their time.

    Bit jealous meself, never got to a sex party , nearest thing was walking into the sacristy and coming on Fr. Brian Geraghty with his soutane up under his chin, pumping gouts of man porridge towards an empty collection bowl on the floor.

    Bollox on him like a pair of rotten coconuts.

    Great to hear from lads like yerselves.

    Livens the place up.

    Jesuit was he? Don't know what they taught them in Maynooth but some of them would get up on the carcass of a roast chicken.

    Anyone know what Rain nightclub in Portabello is like?? I hear it's for over 30s only and that they play classic hits from the 80s. Might head for a look and see if some bird is up for a fingering while Lady in Red by Chris De Burg is playing. ;)


  • #249
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,886 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    TomSweeney wrote: »
    Please link this !!!

    :D

    Maybe this one from the ploughing?

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=74506408&postcount=51


  • #250
    Username exists
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Username exists


    JohnnyFlash wrote: »
    Jesuit was he? Don't know what they taught them in Maynooth but some of them would get up on the carcass of a roast chicken.

    Anyone know what Rain nightclub in Portabello is like?? I hear it's for over 30s only and that they play classic hits from the 80s. Might head for a look and see if some bird is up for a fingering while Lady in Red by Chris De Burg is playing. ;)

    https://youtu.be/cjVSz_n-7TE


  • #251
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    give a woman a few chicken nuggets and shes up for anything ;)


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