Sex party, have you ever been?

JohnnyFlash

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

How are ya managing to pick up the young ones in town? I hope you're dressing your age Johnny. Nothing worse than some aul egit wearing tight shiny shirts, ripped jeans and pointy boots.

Nah man, dress my age. Won't see me heading out wearin' tattered jeans and a pair of runners. Usually go with jeans, floral shirt, blazer, deck shoes or some variation of that. Don't die my hair either even though i'm going a bit grey. I;m in good shape though. I think a lot of the young lads are afraid to talk to women these days for fear of offending them or something. Dont seem to have any moves. Most of the chicks I've pulled have been almost surprised that a lad came over, asked them did they want a drink, and chatted to them like they were a normal human being.

Couple of hours later and we are testin' the structural integrity of one of Mattress Micks finest. Most of them are surprised with the size of me Herman as well - have to admit it was a boost to me ego when one bird said 'jesus, you are all there Johnny, go careful with that thing'.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Nah man, dress my age. Won't see me heading out wearin' tattered jeans and a pair of runners. Usually go with jeans, floral shirt, blazer, deck shoes or some variation of that. Don't die my hair either even though i'm going a bit grey. I;m in good shape though. I think a lot of the young lads are afraid to talk to women these days for fear of offending them or something. Dont seem to have any moves. Most of the chicks I've pulled have been almost surprised that a lad came over, asked them did they want a drink, and chatted to them like they were a normal human being.

Couple of hours later and we are testin' the structural integrity of one of Mattress Micks finest. Most of them are surprised with the size of me Herman as well - have to admit it was a boost to me ego when one bird said 'jesus, you are all there Johnny, go careful with that thing'.

Stem like the anchor chain of an ocean going liner, I’m led to believe.

Knock a hole in a cheap door.

gerrybbadd

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Nah man, dress my age. Won't see me heading out wearin' tattered jeans and a pair of runners. Usually go with jeans, floral shirt, blazer, deck shoes or some variation of that. Don't die my hair either even though i'm going a bit grey. I;m in good shape though. I think a lot of the young lads are afraid to talk to women these days for fear of offending them or something. Dont seem to have any moves. Most of the chicks I've pulled have been almost surprised that a lad came over, asked them did they want a drink, and chatted to them like they were a normal human being.

Couple of hours later and we are testin' the structural integrity of one of Mattress Micks finest. Most of them are surprised with the size of me Herman as well - have to admit it was a boost to me ego when one bird said 'jesus, you are all there Johnny, go careful with that thing'.

An aul yoke on ya like a tube of pringles Johnny?

BorneTobyWilde

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Hung like a hippo calf were they?

So big they can literally go f-uck themselves .

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Stem like the anchor chain of an ocean going liner, I’m led to believe.

Knock a hole in a cheap door.

Not one to boast, Brendan, but if I catch a whiff of a wet bosca then I quickly run up a fúcking woody on me that you could bate a bullock out of a boghole with. Good set of clockweights on me as well.

Boom_Bap

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Not one to boast, Brendan, but if I catch a whiff of a wet bosca then I quickly run up a fúcking woody on me that you could bate a bullock out of a boghole with. Good set of clockweights on me as well.

You probably sound like a metronome walking down the street with them danglers bashing off each other.

gerrybbadd

Boom_Bap wrote: »

You probably sound like a metronome walking down the street with them danglers bashing off each other.

More like Big Ben at 12 am

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Not one to boast, Brendan, but if I catch a whiff of a wet bosca then I quickly run up a fúcking woody on me that you could bate a bullock out of a boghole with. Good set of clockweights on me as well.

In fairness John, you are not one to boast, however I find the bang off the dry bosca is a better ...erm ...stimulant.

Once they get a ‘bit of a batter’ up the fent dissipates and it’s ..well, time to go cannons deep in the sludge.

All logical thinking goes out the winda at that stage ,I find.

Blowing the beans is the main intention, fent and decorum ain’t an issue.

Eyes sunk back, like.

Roger Hassenforder

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

In fairness John, you are not one to boast, however I find the bang off the dry bosca is a better ...erm ...stimulant.

Once they get a ‘bit of a batter’ up the fent dissipates and it’s ..well, time to go cannons deep in the sludge.

All logical thinking goes out the winda at that stage ,I find.

Blowing the beans is the main intention, fent and decorum ain’t an issue.

Eyes sunk back, like.

A dry well has very little advantage over a wet well. Notwithstanding the serious risk of pump cavitation, other than exfoliation of dead skin cells and encrusted fannybatter, i see no reson to continue to struggle through a desert, when a hawk of phglem can have you poling a gondola in Venice, with a finish like a ferry spilling tourists at St Marks square.

ChippingSodbury

Besides JohnnyFlash, what's grey and comes in pints?








An elephant...

Bye!

Jurgen Klopp

Katgurl wrote: »

Not too many no. I never saw the attraction of getting into bed with somene for a lukewarm experience / attraction but as I said I did separately date two men in their mid 40's, just out of unhappy marriages... There were fireworks.


Mind you for all those fun nights I had ten million boring waste of time dates so am glad I have moved on now.

Have you any good stories for us Kat? We're hearing from the boyos the girleens must have some good stories?

Maybe a time you got down on your knees to polish the fellas silver candle stick but he'd such a fluffy carpet you felt like Alan Quatermain on an expedition through the deepest African bush to find King Solomons Mines?

Mister Vain

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

People overthink ridin’ these days.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I think a lot of the young lads are afraid to talk to women these days for fear of offending them or something.

Sadly this does seem to be the case alright. They're less inclined to take the risk when they can just swipe away on Tinder. Speaking of which, do you ever use Tinder yourself or do you just stick to the old fashioned way?

JohnnyFlash

Mister Vain wrote: »

Sadly this does seem to be the case alright. They're less inclined to take the risk when they can just swipe away on Tinder. Speaking of which, do you ever use Tinder yourself or do you just stick to the old fashioned way?

As I said i prefer the real world stuff. Workin’ well for me so far. Think I have a fairly good personality. Heard about the tinder thing but wouldn’t be for me - can hardly use facebook. Heard good things about plenty of fish though, or plenty of fanny as one of the lads calls it. Might fire that up on me laptop and see what is out there. Have a preference for the younger birds so won;t be there long if its trying to match me with an auld one with saggy tits and a mouth like a tomcats arsehole.

Brendan Bendar

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

As I said i prefer the real world stuff. Workin’ well for me so far. Think I have a fairly good personality. Heard about the tinder thing but wouldn’t be for me - can hardly use facebook. Heard good things about plenty of fish though, or plenty of fanny as one of the lads calls it. Might fire that up on me laptop and see what is out there. Have a preference for the younger birds so won;t be there long if its trying to match me with an auld one with saggy tits and a mouth like a tomcats arsehole.

Thought you were into boilers and tugboats John.

You should reconsider.

XsApollo

This is funny sh*t

JohnnyFlash

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Thought you were into boilers and tugboats John.

You should reconsider.

Won’t for the moment Brendan, all things considered. Very much into the birds in their early to mid 30’s who haven’t sluiced out a kid or two yet. It’s where I’m getting success at the moment. Ill be long enough sticking it into something that looks like an Arsenal sock and feels like dipping it into a warm bag of mince..

batistuta9

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Won’t for the moment Brendan, all things considered. Very much into the birds in their early to mid 30’s who haven’t sluiced out a kid or two yet. It’s where I’m getting success at the moment. Ill be long enough sticking it into something that looks like an Arsenal sock and feels like dipping it into a warm bag of mince..

Better off sticking to the younger or older ones.
A lot of those childless at that age don't plan staying that way for long.

ardinn

batistuta9 wrote: »

Better off sticking to the younger or older ones.
A lot of those childless at that age don't plan staying that way for long.

Agreed - Dodgy AF the mid thirtees ones - get an 18 - 25 or 40- 50 yr old - Better sex out of both those ranges too

Specialun

i reckon we organise a boards beer session for johnny...

garyskeepers

I was at a party before in a hotel in ballsbridge, and we all met in the bar,,, maybe 40 people. And in twos and threes filtered over time we filtered up to a large penthouse. When we got up there there was already about 12 or 13 people playing around,, some in the jacuzi in the centre of the room, some on a couch, and some on the balcony where one blonde trooper was being rammed by all sorts of stuff...

anyway,, fast forward around 2 hours and several cum shots later. there was a couple of dudes banging on the door to get in, we could see the cctv and they were not part of the invited crew, so here is "johnny organiser" standing there at the door, naked from the waist down, flacid, but still wearing his lucky rubber in anticipation, as animated as the come, flaying his around around saying to me,, "they are not coming in, i dont care, they can **** off" haha,,, i was trying to avoid eye contact with the one eyed lucky rubber holder. it was slightly surreal..

anyway,, the hotel manager had been watching this, as he was already suspicious over where the bunch of hot horny chicks and dudes had disappeared to, and we all got foooked out of the hotel

ahhhhhhh, great days,.

fuerte1976

I have to laugh at this thread. Love this sh1t I do... This is what boards was like a few years ago.
There's a few clients posting here now who've been waiting for years for something like this thread to kick off! All the ol sayings having been stashed away are seeping out, both guys and gals.
Bravo, more please!

Edit.. To answer the op's question, I've not been to a sex party with more than one, but it wasn't from the want of trying..

Hector Savage

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Not one to boast, Brendan, but if I catch a whiff of a wet bosca then I quickly run up a fúcking woody on me that you could bate a bullock out of a boghole with. Good set of clockweights on me as well.

Clockweights!!!

Mister Vain

pilly wrote: »

Ah we haven't seen a photo yet to know if he's fit Kat.

Here you go.

I'm amazed at the number of people who think the two lads are lying or even exaggerating. Do people really think all the lads on away trips really care about golf or the premiership or whatever the cover story is? Obviously not every lad on an away trip is riding around, and in my experience, it's actually usually a low enough number who end up scoring, but most of the lads are open to the possibility. Fwiw, I presume women have their own variation of these trips and maybe it's not all that unhealthy. It lets people relieve the tension and refocus on the relationship.

pilly

Deleted User wrote:

I'm amazed at the number of people who think the two lads are lying or even exaggerating. Do people really think all the lads on away trips really care about golf or the premiership or whatever the cover story is? Obviously not every lad on an away trip is riding around, and in my experience, it's actually usually a low enough number who end up scoring, but most of the lads are open to the possibility. Fwiw, I presume women have their own variation of these trips and maybe it's not all that unhealthy. It lets people relieve the tension and refocus on the relationship.

I don't doubt for one minute it goes on.

What's so funny is the complete and utter confidence coming from the lads about their own prowess.

I suspect they're completely taking the piss but it's still funny.

JohnnyFlash

Mister Vain wrote: »

Here you go.

Ara jaysus , I’m in better shape than that. :mad:

Not a bad situation for Brendan to find himself in. Say he was rodgering one of them a few minutes later while eatin’ The muff off another one. You’d die happy doing some thing like that.

Love this frilly French knicker things as well. Got a fûcking semi even looking at the picture.. Might have to sign up to that plenty of fish thing. I presume you don’t t send dick pics on that thing?

pilly

pilly wrote: »

I don't doubt for one minute it goes on.

What's so funny is the complete and utter confidence coming from the lads about their own prowess.

I suspect they're completely taking the piss but it's still funny.

Well, one guy is paying for it, of course he's confident, how may prostitutes turn down good money?

Johnny reminds me of a good mate of mine who could pull on a hungover walk to Tesco so who knows, works for my mate, might work for Johnny.

pilly

Deleted User wrote:

Well, one guy is paying for it, of course he's confident, how may prostitutes turn down good money?

Deleted User wrote:

Johnny reminds me of a good mate of mine who could pull on a hungover walk to Tesco so who knows, works for my mate, might work for Johnny.

Prowess in the bedroom department I was talking about, not the pulling department.

I think the humour might be bypassing you.

jones 19

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Not one to boast, Brendan, but if I catch a whiff of a wet bosca then I quickly run up a fúcking woody on me that you could bate a bullock out of a boghole with. Good set of clockweights on me as well.

Be carefully with some of the wet beavers, I dropped a pants one night on a chick and it was like lifting a stone up below the tide line on a beach, she was crawlin.

pilly

pilly wrote: »

Prowess in the bedroom department I was talking about, not the pulling department.

I think the humour might be bypassing you.

Not really, they sound like a fair few lads I know.