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Dental plan!

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    #8252
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Authorities say the phoney Pope can be recognised by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.


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    #8253
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Bart: Alright here comes the implosion!

    Demolition Worker: [Pushes the plunger down] Implosion?! I thought you said...[CASINO EXPLODES]


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    #8254
    Dirty Dingus McGee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    Troy McLure: And watch out for tennis, it comes on at 7.


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    #8255
    dj30
    Registered Users Posts: 17 ✭dj30


    BARTYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK??


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    #8256
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%?


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    #8257
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    EagererBeaver wrote: »
    Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%?

    I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.


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    #8258
    Padkir
    Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭Padkir


    dj30 wrote: »
    BARTYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK??

    Oh right, the Sideshow Bob thing...

    ...

    ...

    BARTDOYOUWANTABROWNIEBEFOREYOUGOTOBED???


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    #8259
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,994 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Realt Dearg Sec wrote: »
    I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
    "...

    Mmm, touché."


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    #8260
    Comic Book Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,459 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    But it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "Do not write in this space," he wrote "Okay."


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    #8261
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
    Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
    Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it any more.


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    #8262
    corblimey
    Registered Users Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Carl: Way to go, Homer!
    Lenny: You're number one, Homer!
    Grimes: But it, it was contest for children!
    Lenny: Yeah. And Homer beat their brains out!


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    #8263
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Thank you for this award. It is a tribute to this great country, that a man who once took a shot at Teddy Roosevelt could win back your trust.


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    #8264
    Mean Laqueefa
    Registered Users Posts: 712 ✭✭✭Mean Laqueefa


    A SUIT OF DRUGS !!!!


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    #8265
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,386 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind"


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    #8266
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind"

    Troy McClure: (Chuckling) They haven't changed a bit, have they?


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    #8267
    RiderOnTheStorm
    Registered Users Posts: 2,105 ✭✭✭RiderOnTheStorm


    ...from chim-pan A to chim-pan Z...


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    #8268
    iLikeWaffles
    Registered Users Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr,

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr,

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr


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    #8269
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,386 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    "Watch this, Ned, they don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese"

    https://scontent-ams3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/s480x480/14695337_1680693235580848_3802666894034537392_n.jpg?oh=24d76a82adc0122bf1daf9454afab80b&oe=58671628

    "Now you've got a lawsuit on ya hands"


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    #8270
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,522 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Well-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-well well well well.


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    #8271
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    paddylonglegs wrote: »
    Well-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-well well well well.

    You know something, he DID say well a lot!


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    #8272
    Comic Book Guy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,459 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
    Homer: Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't wanna have me.
    Marge: You didn't wanna have Bart.
    Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child.
    Marge: You tell Bart all the time. You told him this morning.
    Homer: But when I do it, it's cute.


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    #8273
    Riddle101
    Registered Users Posts: 8,386 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    What Lisa should look like now.

    https://scontent-ams3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/t31.0-8/14691965_1829626490606598_5148657425512041509_o.jpg


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    #8274
    WhoWhatWhere
    Closed Accounts Posts: 452 ✭✭WhoWhatWhere


    Homer: he might have all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.

    Marge: yeah? What's that?

    Homer: .... a DINOSAUR.


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    #8275
    iLikeWaffles
    Registered Users Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    That's it! If he can teach a class. HE can teach a class. I mean I can teach a class.


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    #8276
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    What Lisa should look like now.

    https://scontent-ams3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/t31.0-8/14691965_1829626490606598_5148657425512041509_o.jpg

    Why must you turn my office into a house of LIES??!!


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    #8277
    Rawr
    Registered Users Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Marge: [With large scissors]
    Bart... I'm going to GET you......some ice cream at the store since I'm saving so much money on DIEt Cola.

    [Bart walks down the street]
    Ned Flanders: [wearing a Freddy Kruger razor glove]
    Say your prayers, Simpson......because the schools can't force you like they should.
    (Continues gardening)

    Mrs. Krabappel:
    You're going to be my murder victim, Bart......in our school production of Lizzy Borden, starring Martin Prince as Lizzy.

    Martin [Wearing a dress / wig, wielding an axe]:
    Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart.


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    #8278
    WindomEarle
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 47 ✭WindomEarle


    Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Hello? Can anybody hear me?
    Marge Simpson: Homer! Where are you?
    Homer Simpson: Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
    Marge Simpson: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
    Homer Simpson: Just a second... no, it's a place I've never been before.
    Selma: Hmm. The shower.


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    #8279
    Nerdkiller1991
    Registered Users Posts: 3,994 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    WindomEarle wrote: »
    Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Hello? Can anybody hear me?
    Marge Simpson: Homer! Where are you?
    Homer Simpson: Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
    Marge Simpson: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
    Homer Simpson: Just a second... no, it's a place I've never been before.
    Selma: Hmm. The shower.
    "HEY!"


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    #8280
    EagererBeaver
    Registered Users Posts: 6,415 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Frinkahedron.


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    #8281
    Realt Dearg Sec
    Registered Users Posts: 10,834 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    I wish I'd read that book by that wheelchair guy.


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