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Dental plan!

1163164166168169194

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Authorities say the phoney Pope can be recognised by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,175 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Bart: Alright here comes the implosion!

    Demolition Worker: [Pushes the plunger down] Implosion?! I thought you said...[CASINO EXPLODES]


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,631 ✭✭✭Dirty Dingus McGee


    Troy McLure: And watch out for tennis, it comes on at 7.


  • Registered Users Posts: 17 dj30


    BARTYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,552 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,941 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%?

    I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭Padkir


    dj30 wrote: »
    BARTYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK??

    Oh right, the Sideshow Bob thing...

    ...

    ...

    BARTDOYOUWANTABROWNIEBEFOREYOUGOTOBED???


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,999 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
    "...

    Mmm, touché."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,479 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    But it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "Do not write in this space," he wrote "Okay."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
    Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
    Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it any more.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,475 ✭✭✭corblimey


    Carl: Way to go, Homer!
    Lenny: You're number one, Homer!
    Grimes: But it, it was contest for children!
    Lenny: Yeah. And Homer beat their brains out!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,552 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Thank you for this award. It is a tribute to this great country, that a man who once took a shot at Teddy Roosevelt could win back your trust.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 712 ✭✭✭Mean Laqueefa


    A SUIT OF DRUGS !!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,459 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,175 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Riddle101 wrote: »
    "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind"

    Troy McClure: (Chuckling) They haven't changed a bit, have they?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,155 ✭✭✭RiderOnTheStorm


    ...from chim-pan A to chim-pan Z...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr,

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr,

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr

    Spshhh, ErrrRRRrrr


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,459 ✭✭✭Riddle101


    "Watch this, Ned, they don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese"

    https://scontent-ams3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/s480x480/14695337_1680693235580848_3802666894034537392_n.jpg?oh=24d76a82adc0122bf1daf9454afab80b&oe=58671628

    "Now you've got a lawsuit on ya hands"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,554 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Well-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-well well well well.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    Well-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-well well well well.

    You know something, he DID say well a lot!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,479 ✭✭✭Comic Book Guy


    Marge: Homey, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
    Homer: Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident, he didn't wanna have me.
    Marge: You didn't wanna have Bart.
    Homer: I know, but you're never supposed to tell the child.
    Marge: You tell Bart all the time. You told him this morning.
    Homer: But when I do it, it's cute.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,459 ✭✭✭Riddle101




  • Closed Accounts Posts: 452 ✭✭WhoWhatWhere


    Homer: he might have all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.

    Marge: yeah? What's that?

    Homer: .... a DINOSAUR.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    That's it! If he can teach a class. HE can teach a class. I mean I can teach a class.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,941 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Riddle101 wrote: »

    Why must you turn my office into a house of LIES??!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,175 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Marge: [With large scissors]
    Bart... I'm going to GET you......some ice cream at the store since I'm saving so much money on DIEt Cola.

    [Bart walks down the street]
    Ned Flanders: [wearing a Freddy Kruger razor glove]

    Say your prayers, Simpson......because the schools can't force you like they should.
    (Continues gardening)

    Mrs. Krabappel:
    You're going to be my murder victim, Bart......in our school production of Lizzy Borden, starring Martin Prince as Lizzy.

    Martin [Wearing a dress / wig, wielding an axe]:
    Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 47 WindomEarle


    Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Hello? Can anybody hear me?
    Marge Simpson: Homer! Where are you?
    Homer Simpson: Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
    Marge Simpson: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
    Homer Simpson: Just a second... no, it's a place I've never been before.
    Selma: Hmm. The shower.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,999 ✭✭✭Nerdkiller1991


    Homer Simpson: [disembodied] Hello? Can anybody hear me?
    Marge Simpson: Homer! Where are you?
    Homer Simpson: Uh, I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
    Marge Simpson: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you're probably in the linen closet again.
    Homer Simpson: Just a second... no, it's a place I've never been before.
    Selma: Hmm. The shower.
    "HEY!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,552 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    Frinkahedron.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,941 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    I wish I'd read that book by that wheelchair guy.


  • Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭larrykinney


    Dr Hibbert: 'Well, Homer, your cholesterol level IS lethally high but I'm more concerned about your GRAVY level......'


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,325 ✭✭✭iLikeWaffles


    Dr Hibbert: 'Well, Homer, your cholesterol level IS lethally high but I'm more concerned about your GRAVY level......'

    Ahhuhuhuhoo


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,175 ✭✭✭Rawr


    Captain: Arrrr! Now we bury the treasure!

    Sissy Pirate: Uh, Captain? Captain, I know we usually bury the treasure, but what if this time, we use it to buy things? You know, uh, things we like...

    [The captain shoots him, then looks at the other pirates, who start digging furiously in the sand]

    Captain: Arrrr! We'll dig up the treasure in seven yarrr! I've drawn a map on this cracker, which Polly will hold for safe keepin'!

    [Polly takes the cracker in its beak, then looks around nervously]


  • Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    I King Arthur declare Zorro the new king of England.

    Jes!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,810 ✭✭✭Mackman


    Frinkahedron.

    "If we extend the square along the hypothetical Z -axis"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,552 ✭✭✭EagererBeaver


    For the day that's in it:

    "Insemination complete.

    That was quick.

    What are you implying?!"

    and

    "Stop! We have reached the limits of what recusal probing can teach us."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,554 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    No one posted in this thread in a week? What's wrong with you sad sacks?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,554 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    For the day that's in it - hey America, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind - America


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    We must move forward,not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, TWIRLING TOWARDS FREEDOM!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,549 ✭✭✭marcbrophy


    No one posted in this thread in a week? What's wrong with you sad sacks?

    Well, paddylonglegs, you are an odd fellow. But I must say you steam a good ham.

    :pac:


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Probably posted already but...

    Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it, Secretary Van Houten?'

    Milhouse: We're broke!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,941 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Well I believe I'll vote for a third party candidate.


  • Moderators Posts: 3,554 ✭✭✭Wise Old Elf


    Go ahead, waste your vote


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    Go ahead, waste your vote

    Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again.

    What a bunch of clowns.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,941 ✭✭✭✭Realt Dearg Sec


    Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again.

    What a bunch of clowns.

    How does it keep up with the news like that?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭Padkir


    Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again.

    What a bunch of clowns.

    How does it keep up with the news like that??

    Edit: Well that's what you get for leaving the tab open for 10 mins before posting...


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    And I say, Britain's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!

    PITT THE ELDER!

    LORD PALMERSTON!

    PITT THE ELDER!

    OK YOU ASKED FOR IT BOGGS!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,060 ✭✭✭Jikashi


    And I say, Britain's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!

    PITT THE ELDER!

    LORD PALMERSTON!

    PITT THE ELDER!

    OK YOU ASKED FOR IT BOGGS!





    Moe: Yeah, that's showin' him, Barn! Pfft, Pitt the Elder...
    Barney: LOOOORD PALMERSTOOOON! *beats down Moe*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 678 ✭✭✭Edups


    Barman: What can I get ya?
    Homer: give me one of those giant beers I keep hearing about.
    Barman: *drops giant beer on bar*
    Homer: :(
    Barman: something wrong mate yank?
    Homer: ...It's pretty big I guess

    .......
    Marge: I'll just have a coffee
    Barman: beer it is.
    Marge: no, coffee.
    Barman: beer
    Marge: coooofffeeee
    Barman: beeeeeer
    Marge: C.... O...
    Barman: B.... E....


  • Registered Users Posts: 128 ✭✭Froshtbit


    TOBIAS!


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