Porn, Strip Clubs And The Like

Shabadu

tigerlily wrote:

Sorry shabadu- i didnt realise the personal insults were part of this discussion- I am not 78 years old and Fat, i am in my mid 20's and i do have the self-confidence to say i am an attractive woman, im not going to post a pic to a twat like you soz..

Where did I insult you? I said you could be an old woman. Theoretically, you could be Angelina Jolie. You must really have low self-esteem.

Also, 'soz'? Do you not see the irony in someone who uses 'soz' as a word calling anyone else a twat?

tigerlily

Think were getting off the topic here, forget my picture, i believe some things are private- and for what to be ridiculed that i might not live up to ridiculous standards of what women should appear like!

tigerlily

Also, 'soz'? Do you not see the irony in someone who uses 'soz' as a word calling anyone else a twat?


Thought u might understand it better Shabadu-

Keyzer

tigerlily wrote:

Sorry Keyser- i dont really have much to say that i havent spoken about before and i was criticised for not responding to people, which in fairness I HAVE done

Its Keyzer, not Keyser....
Anyway, I hope your satisfied with all our fantastic answers now...

Chinese proverb - she who smokes the male chicken on camera, make lots of money and have good time...

The Corinthian

tigerlily wrote:

sorry Corinthian- no matter if your considered the best looking chic in the world OR guy- thats doesnt mean you dont suffer from insecurity every now and then

Which would appear to contradict your other claim of "so its not about me feeling not worthy or sexy cos i am".

Sorry, but you would not trust appear to him - to remain faithful I think you do, but not to be thinking of you rather than the lap dancer when next you rut.

The Corinthian

simu wrote:

Post up your pic! Gwan!

You first. Clothes are optional.

Fysh

tigerlily wrote:

Think were getting off the topic here, forget my picture, i believe some things are private- and for what to be ridiculed that i might not live up to ridiculous standards of what women should appear like!

No, not so much to laugh at you (though that might be an entertaining diversion), but to hold you to your statements. You insist that porn etc has to be degrading not only to those involved in making it but also to those watching it, then you counter claims that your problem stems from insecurity by saying that actually, in real life you're, like, dead sexy and so on.

Hmmm.

Not the most believable of case statements, and one easily remedied by, eg, posting up your picture. Otherwise I and a few others will continue to believe that this is not far off the truth :

Keyzer

tigerlily wrote:

Think were getting off the topic here, forget my picture, i believe some things are private- and for what to be ridiculed that i might not live up to ridiculous standards of what women should appear like!

Anyone else feel like were banging our cocks, I mean heads, against the wall?

tigerlily

It doesnt contradict my claim at all- i do feel i am sexy and worthy, but that DOES NOT mean i am not vunerable or insecure at times, i am human after all.

Fysh

tigerlily wrote:

It doesnt contradict my claim at all- i do feel i am sexy and worthy, but that DOES NOT mean i am not vunerable or insecure at times, i am human after all.

Yes it does. If you're confident in your own appearance and sexual nature, you wouldn't be prey to sudden attacks of worthlessness, at least not ones of any significant duration. The fact that you keep backpedalling about whether you have confidence in your appearance suggests that actually, you don't have all that much and that the original claim was intended to make you sound like a sassy urban young lady (uuuurgh....hate that word "sassy" but anyway) whereas instead it's made you sound like a bit (more) of an idiot.

tigerlily

sorry but that picture does not bear any relation to me. Im sorry to dissapoint, i can understand everyones frustrated or entitled to their opinion- we are in the humanities section of a forum, so i have a choice to fight and voice my opinion.

I didnt realise i would come here to be personally insulted, the crux being none of you actually Know me.

Shabadu

tigerlily wrote:

Thought u might understand it better Shabadu-

The letter 'u' is inanimate, and therefore can not understand anything, tigerlily.

Keyzer

Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio....

Keyzer

tigerlily wrote:

sorry but that picture does not bear any relation to me. Im sorry to dissapoint, i can understand everyones frustrated or entitled to their opinion- we are in the humanities section of a forum, so i have a choice to fight and voice my opinion.

I didnt realise i would come here to be personally insulted, the crux being none of you actually Know me.

Your being riduculed because youhave not answered the question which has been put to you - How does porn and strip clubs damage or end relationships...
You have provided only your opinion, no stats, no evidence....
Then you chastise the rest of us for masturbating over porn.... get over yourself...

tigerlily

Fysh- what is a sassy young woman, in your opinion, someone that goes Against what she believes in, and agrees with porn and strip clubs when she doesnt like them at all?? No, i dont believe that for one second

I dont really care if people think im an idiot, i thought some peoples statements were narrow minded also and insulting

tigerlily

Then you chastise the rest of us for masturbating over porn.... get over yourself...

I did not do that- i just said personally i dont think people should need it if they love their partner

Fysh

tigerlily wrote:

I didnt realise i would come here to be personally insulted, the crux being none of you actually Know me.

On the other hand, you don't know anyone else here and yet you've posted some fairly insulting comments about a wide range of people (ie everyone who has ever derived enjoyment from porn or strip clubs, or worked in the industry). Fair's fair, really.

If you look back about 2 or 3 pages, I posted up suggesting things you'd have to accept if you wanted this thread to not degenerate as it has done - if you choose to ignore advice, it's on your own head.

pickarooney

simu wrote:

...and they always have really poor quality shoes etc.

This, I think, demonstrates more than anything that women and men truly think in vastly different ways.

/me tries to imagine tigerlily's boyfriend grimacing in embarassment as he reads the thread and the custeresque misjudgements of his saintly character presented as evidence of whatever the hell point she's trying to make

tigerlily

My boyfreind it definately 'not saintly' Pickarooney.

The reason why i posted is becuase i wanted some views on how guys and girls think (This what i was trying to achieve). And i got that- alot of it doesnt match what i think, but what the hell..? so what.

I found some porn on his PC When we were living apart for 6 months and to be honest i didnt like that - we spoke about it and i told him what way it made me feel and he has since said yes he understands how i feel. Know i know he is a man and when i was away that was fine, but now it is different. he agreed that yeah, we should be focusing on each other and he mostly did that cos he was lonely and H**ny as well. He can see just why i would feel unspecial and as im not a pumped up porn star,that i appreciate the originality in everyones beauty - cos thats real.

I think its nice to understand that some girls can get insecure and yes there is a marked difference between us and guys. Im sorry if i think that those industries are cheap, but thats my opinion. i know i came on strong, and yes i do agree with some when they say that the problems are usually symptomatic of a relationship that isnt doing too well in the first place.

seamus

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Porn, strippers and lapdancing clubs aren't destroying relationships. What's happening is that the views of both sexes are becoming more polarised on these subjects, because of media and peer pressure to accept or reject the presence of outside sexual stimulus in a monogamus relationship based on a set of given moral values we're all supposed to aspire to.

So: you and 'the girls' think your boyfriends should be sexy, romantic men who are faithful to you and who don't look at other women, which includes strippers and porn. Therefore, if you accept your man doing that, 'the girls' will look down on you because he's a dirtbag and you're putting up with it so you must have no self respect.

This is the MAJD effect. A post appears, with such crystal clarity and obvious common sense that it effectively ends all opposing discussion in the thread.

I have absolutely no doubt in my own mind that the only thing that's destroying modern relationships is the one thing telling women they should be in the relationship in the first place - the media.

<Insert the rest of MAJD's post here>

Shabadu

You do realise that his imagination is probably a lot more graphic and varied than most porn anyway? Are you going to ask him to only think about you when he **** next?

I know different relationships draw the line in different places, for example private dances in strip clubs aren't an option in mine, they're bloody expensive and too personal imo. But I wouldn't mind him going to a strip club with a load of his mates, and certainly don't mind if he looks at porn.

I just find it unusual that you feel him looking at porn would be taking away from his 'focusing' on you. You, and porn stars, occupy very different parts of his brain. If you have a truly healthy and happy relationship, you know that he'd never cross the line between imagination and reality, unless it's with you.

tigerlily

No offence Shabadu, but im really not open to what u think is right or good or wrong, i read some of your other posts and you seem quite a derogatory person in any case.

You cant say what is in his imagination or not, neither you or I know that, so dont even try and guess and no, i dont ask him will he only think about me.

I just dont think porn helped our relationship in any way, and he agreed he did it when he was bored and not feeling close to me. Now i can only go on what he says cos i believe him, i wouldnt have spent th last 7 years with him if i didnt.

This post was never particularly meant as a discussion about him or us, it was a discussion and debate aout how people feel about it.

Nuff said

The Corinthian

tigerlily wrote:

I found some porn on his PC When we were living apart for 6 months and to be honest i didnt like that

How did you manage to find it on his PC? I can’t imagine he would have put it in a folder on his desktop marked ‘Hot Porn’, after all.

we spoke about it and i told him what way it made me feel and he has since said yes he understands how i feel. Know i know he is a man and when i was away that was fine, but now it is different. he agreed that yeah, we should be focusing on each other and he mostly did that cos he was lonely and H**ny as well.

You made him an implicit offer he couldn’t refuse...

He can see just why i would feel unspecial and as im not a pumped up porn star,that i appreciate the originality in everyones beauty - cos thats real.

That’s sweet, but given you have asked him to sacrifice some of his needs, did you reciprocate in any way?

I think its nice to understand that some girls can get insecure and yes there is a marked difference between us and guys.

I’m not certain if it is as much a difference as an indulgence. It’s like a man who habitually cheats on his wife, throwing up his hands and saying, “it’s not my fault, it’s just how us guys are wired”.

The Corinthian

tigerlily wrote:

You cant say what is in his imagination or not, neither you or I know that, so dont even try and guess and no, i dont ask him will he only think about me.

There’s as open and healthy a relationship as I’ve ever heard of...

tigerlily

well i had to use th pc when i was looking for a job and it was in a work folder.

I know he didnt feel bullied into doing it, we both talked about it and he didnt just agree with me for the sake of it.

I didnt reciprocate - but quite honestly none of this is any of your business, so really is shouldnt justify myself at all to you TC.

It seems you are trying to demonstrate that my relationship is a sham in many ways by pointing out flawswith myself and him, when really thats not what the original discussion was based on. And besides you seem to have hard time understanding that not all men want to aggrevate a situation or ask for something in return. Fyi there are many sacrifices i do for him all the time, moving country was a big one.

Kell

tigerlily wrote:

FA0- Kell, its no surprise u can be so immature, from reading your previous posts- it seems to be quite a theme for you.

Where exactly are you referring to immaturity? It helps to quote relative sections. Oh thats right- you havnt figured that bit out yet.

Tigerlily wrote:

i am in my mid 20's

And you have been in a "Sexy loving relationship" with your boyfriend for the last six years.

Six years- with one person- starting late teens.

And you expect us to believe you have any objectivity when you have already told us that basically the sum total of your sexual experience is with your boyfriend, that the few one nighters have left you feeling used.

Why have they left you feeling used dearie. If you were as sexually liberated as you claim to be you wouldnt feel any negativity regarding a one off consentual act of sex.

I suggest you dump the BF, shag everything in sight and gain some real experience of the world and its attitudes before you come here criticising everyone else that doesnt fit your "perfect" view of the world. For fúcks sake, you asked your BF to not look at porn without a concession, without giving him something in return.

Dear, your perfect BF (whom you admit to not knowing the inner workings of his mind) has some serious esteem issues. Otherwise you'd be out on your ass. Trust me.

K-

--Kaiser--

tigerlily wrote:

I found some porn on his PC When we were living apart for 6 months
....
he mostly did that cos he was lonely and H**ny as well.

Surely this is the explanation right there. He was H*rny, he had a w*nk, if you had been there at the time I'm sure it would have been a different story ( you being such an attractive specimen and all), would you prefer he cheated on you?

I've never heard of any women having a problem with men having porn, most women seem to find it funny, if anything

tigerlily

"The window of opportunity to experiment with lots of alchohal and drugs gets smaller by the day".

Your in college. Dump the GF, hump the other bird "before you have to pay for girls that hot". I re-iterate. Your in college. Get laid as often as possible before you even consider long term relationships.

I empathise with accidentally flirting thing. Have I got that in the ear from every ex I was ever with. Does the line- Her- "you were flirting with her last night", You-"was I? Really?" ring a bell? The amount of fúckin ructions that has caused I can tell you.


K, this is the kind of stuff you dish out other posters, so you can see my point

tigerlily

Well yeah Kaiser, that is true

tigerlily

But you might want to reconsider that not all women find porn funny or acceptable , particularly when they are in love with someone, i probably wouldnt care as much if i was with someone i didnt give a damn about, cos we wouldnt be that close.

But as i said before, this discussion was not meant as an examination of my relationship. If you read the original post.