I'm cocooning - housemate being a d*ck

Stark

MissJustice wrote: »

And how would you know what has taken place in the past 24 hours in our house?

I am sick to death of people like you who come online and make their own assumptions about someone, and call them selfish or whatever else they decide upon.

And now I should move out of my own home? Again, when you don't have a clue what has gone on here.

Sounds like you would be a nightmare to live with.

Well we know one thing for definite, we only have your side of the story. And given your general tone so far, it's not a wild guess that the other side paints a different picture.

MissJustice

amadangomor wrote: »

Apologies if already mentioned but he is committing social welfare fraud if he is getting the Covid payment and getting paid for doing work for his relation also.

He has been working with his relative for the past week, and most likely getting paid. He would do anything to make a euro.

His relative lives almost 3km away. His relative lives with at least 3 people maybe 4 or 5 other people in the house. My housemate does not practice social distancing, or even wash his hands in our house at all, so I have no reason to believe that he does anything different when he goes to his relatives house.

As I was previously saying, he was also going to the shop or Tescos at least once or twice a day on top of that, coming home and not washing his hands at all. Having absolutely no regard for me or my housemate, or having the simple cop on to do something as simple as washing his hands.

Enough is enough. I have been in hospital with really bad pneumonia in the past, where I was struggling for every breath. I couldn't sleep for almost two days because I couldn't breathe properly. I was then put on oxygen, steroids and nebulisers on almost a constant basis every day for almost two weeks.

If you had gone through that or knew someone who had been that sick, and struggling for breath, you would be taking the advice of the government seriously.

It's people like my housemate and other idiots on this thread that will cause the lockdown to be extended because you simply cannot abide by guidelines to protect yourself and others.

By not abiding by these rules, and behaving like we are not in lockdown, I really do not know what could be more selfish to people you live with, others you come into contact with in the shops, and the further disregard for our nurses and doctors who are going into such a dangerous environment everyday to save many people from this deadly virus.

I guarantee you that if the likes of Gemma O'Doherty or the idiots that follow her, or the other idiots on this thread that moan and complain about restrictions, if you got the virus or were in a position in the past when you had severe pneumonia, then you would know how important and vital it is to follow the guidelines and practice some common sense cop on, and have some consideration for others.

MissJustice

Stark wrote: »

Well we know one thing for definite, we only have your side of the story. And given your general tone so far, it's not a wild guess that the other side paints a different picture.

I really don't care what you think about me, but making assumptions about me when you don't even know me is quite pathetic and uncalled for.

SusieBlue

Why is there no middle ground between the army performing executions roadside on people who are 2.1km away from their homes, and standing outside the court clapping, supporting Gemma O’Doherty?

Two quite extreme positions, no? Surely a middle ground is in everyone’s best interests?

splinter65

MissJustice wrote: »

I really don't care what you think about me, but making assumptions about me when you don't even know me is quite pathetic and uncalled for.

A lot of us who spent many years house sharing recognise that you appear to be, I'm sorry, a bit of a nightmare as a housemate.
You are self cocooning. These other people who are not your family and owe you nothing do not have to self cocoon. This seems to be lost on you and that’s what is causing the pile-on here.
If housemates want to go to work then you can’t tell them that they can’t. You can’t tell housemates when or how often they can shop. That’s ridiculous. You can’t police the hand washing.
If you don’t like the conditions in the house then you need to find somewhere else to live.

SNNUS

Live by your rules = rent your own place.

MissJustice

splinter65 wrote: »

A lot of us who spent many years house sharing recognise that you appear to be, I'm sorry, a bit of a nightmare as a housemate.
You are self cocooning. These other people who are not your family and owe you nothing do not have to self cocoon. This seems to be lost on you and that’s what is causing the pile-on here.
If housemates want to go to work then you can’t tell them that they can’t. You can’t tell housemates when or how often they can shop. That’s ridiculous. You can’t police the hand washing.
If you don’t like the conditions in the house then you need to find somewhere else to live.

I'm not asking them to cocoon with me at all, when did I say that in this thread?

SusieBlue

MissJustice wrote: »

I'm not asking them to cocoon with me at all, when did I say that in this thread?

What are you going to do on May 18th when restrictions begin easing and he and your other housemate will be allowed to meet with friends and family outdoors?

MissJustice

SusieBlue wrote: »

What are you going to do on May 18th when restrictions begin easing and he and your other housemate will be allowed to meet with friends and family outdoors?

That is based on government guidelines not based on me.

Dav010

MissJustice wrote: »

That is based on government guidelines not based on me.

But they will be out, you know this. They will not stay inside with you and your cat.

MissJustice

Dav010 wrote: »

But they will be out, you know this. They will not stay inside with you and your cat.

Yes, I'm aware of that, are you expecting me to be annoyed by what will take place on the 18th of May or something?

Dav010

MissJustice wrote: »

Yes, I'm aware of that, are you expecting me to be annoyed by what will take place on the 18th of May or something?

Not annoyed, but you should be prepared and accept that they will be going out all the time.

MissJustice

Dav010 wrote: »

Not annoyed, but you should be prepared and accept that they will be going out all the time.

I know they will. I have no authority to tell them what to do.

Dav010

MissJustice wrote: »

I know they will. I have no authority to tell them what to do.

Exactly.

splinter65

MissJustice wrote: »

I know they will. I have no authority to tell them what to do.

You are right. You have absolutely no authority to tell anyone else what to do.
What’s this thread about then?

MissJustice

splinter65 wrote: »

You are right. You have absolutely no authority to tell anyone else what to do.
What’s this thread about then?

I am not and never have told them what to do, even at present. When in the thread did I ever say I was telling them or forcing them what to do with regards to the virus?

Dav010

MissJustice wrote: »

I am not and never have told them what to do, even at present. When in the thread did I ever say I was telling them or forcing them what to do with regards to the virus?

Wow.

MissJustice

Dav010 wrote: »

Wow.

Well?

Bunny Colvin

Get him arrested and get it done now. Going to Tesco without your blessing is a serious disrespect to you. You deserve justice.

Plumbthedepths

MissJustice wrote: »

So I live in house with two others. We are all renters.

I have a number of long term chronic conditions, mild asthma, weak lungs - I don't know how many times I have had pneumonia in the past. There is also a possibility I have MS, which I have to get tested for. My immune system at present is very weak. Both of my housemates are aware of all of this.

One housemate is respecting social distancing, not leaving the house unless necessary for food or medicine, and aware of the fact that I'm cocooning.

The other housemate was put off work about 3 weeks ago. He has absolutely no respect for how serious the virus is. He currently goes up to work with his relative almost every day for the past week. When he's not there and in the house, he leaves the house at least 3 maybe 4 times a day.

He goes to Tesco's, then later might to to the shop, go out again then somewhere else. He comes in and won't wash his hands. He is carrying on like there is no virus at all. I have asked him nicely a few times over the past week to please stay in the house and not to be leaving 3 or 4 times a day, and to stop going working at his relatives every day.

He said he would have one more day of work, so I said ok, one day is ok. He lied. He went back there again, and will have another few days of work there, and doesn't give a damn about transmitting the virus to me, and that if I get it, without question, I will end up in hospital, or worse. There is my other housemate too, who he couldn't care less about either with his behaviour.

I had a really bad row with him today, and again asked him not to be leaving the house as much. (If it was for walks on his own that would be fine, but he is deliberately going out and being amongst people) He told me to F*ck off, and refused to speak to me. I'm terrified of picking the virus up from him, particularly when I have to cocoon.

Any advice as to how to deal with him?

Thanks xx

Did you forget you wrote this?

Fleetwoodmac

OP as a wizened parent of adult children and primary school and a few in between, I always ask them if they want me to listen or give them advice when they have a problem. You have gotten both here in this thread, with well meaning solutions. I think you are a bit lost at the moment because you are scared of getting sick and you feel powerless and people do understand that. But battling your housemate is not working out for you and I can imagine the stress is unbearable for all three of ye in the house. Don't battle people here, all of it will only serve to reduce your immune system and make you feel worse. Your housemate will not get what it has been like to be so sick, you can't expect him too. Find a middle ground, change your approach, explain your jealous of his freedom. Most people are inherently good and respond much better to praise than negativity.
Make a plan: if you stay put, stick to that decision and focus on you becoming a more tolerant housemate, he may surprise you and follow suit.

MissJustice

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Did you forget you wrote this?

And where in that did I say that I was forcing them or telling them what to do? Where in that post did it imply that I was a horrible person or a nightmare to live with, or anything else which has been fired at me throughout this thread, when you don't even know me at all, or what exactly has gone on in the house?

splinter65

splinter65 wrote: »

You are self cocooning. These other people who are not your family and owe you nothing do not have to self cocoon. This seems to be lost on you and that’s what is causing the pile-on here.
If housemates want to go to work then you can’t tell them that they can’t. You can’t tell housemates when or how often they can shop. That’s ridiculous. You can’t police the hand washing.
If you don’t like the conditions in the house then you need to find somewhere else to live.

I don’t think the op expects the housemate to self cocoon. Cocooning is not leaving the house at all for any reason. Following the government guidelines on social distancing, handwashing, staying at home bar essential trips and not working unless it is an essential job is what is expected of everyone.

If for example you or anyone else thinks 2 trips to the shop per day is following the guidelines being asked of us then there isn’t much going on between your ears I’m afraid. I doubt very much he is doing any sort of essential job either.

People behaving like the ops housemate are the reason the virus is spreading, the fact people don’t understand this by now is astonishing.

Brego888

MissJustice wrote: »

I am not and never have told them what to do, even at present. When in the thread did I ever say I was telling them or forcing them what to do with regards to the virus?

Op is taking the piss surely. This can't be real.

Initially wants advice on how to control her housemates behaviour and is now claiming she has never tried to control anyone's behavior.

My sympathy goes to you in relation to your condition but will you ever cop on and take control of your own actions. You need to come up with your own solutions to your problem. Yourself. If you believe your housemate to be a dick you will still never be able to moderate him.

Plumbthedepths

MissJustice wrote: »

And where in that did I say that I was forcing them or telling them what to do? Where in that post did it imply that I was a horrible person or a nightmare to live with, or anything else which has been fired at me throughout this thread, when you don't even know me at all, or what exactly has gone on in the house?

I suggest you reread what you wrote very carefully. You seem determined that others bend to your will until the restrictions are lifted. The virus will still be there on the 18th of May 2020, still around on the 18th May 2021. So as many have asked you , how are you going to manage when your housemates get back to their lives , have visitors go to parties etc.
As I don't know you I can only base my knowledge of you based on what you have posted here. The image I get is not very nice tbh. I certainly wouldn't want to share a house with you. Your housemates may decide quite soon they don't want to share with you either and seek to have you removed. I think your behaviour is absolutely intolerable tbh.

mikemac2

Citywest self isolation centre is for people like you OP

Since you feel unsafe in your house share check it out.

https://www2.hse.ie/services/coronavirus-self-isolation-facilities/

MissJustice

Teagan Gentle Tinsel wrote: »

I don’t think the op expects the housemate to self cocoon. Cocooning is not leaving the house at all for any reason. Following the government guidelines on social distancing, handwashing, staying at home bar essential trips and not working unless it is an essential job.

If you or anyone think 2 trips to the shop per day is following the rules for example then there isn’t much going on between the ears.

Precisely my point.

Thanks.

This is not about telling anyone what to do nor forcing anyone what to do with regards to the virus.

It's about following the guidelines that the government have set out, practicing some cop on, and having respect and consideration for others. And I wouldn't mind, but people are not restricted to their house whatsoever, not will they be forever.

People on this thread can't seem to be able to accept or understand that, and as just pointed out, you think that people are being told what to do or forced with what they can and can't do.

I never asked nor would I ever tell anyone to cocoon with me. I have to do that because of my weak lungs. I cannot tell anyone what to do, nor force them, but my point is that is it really that difficult to follow some basic advice such as spending 20 seconds to wash your hands when you come in from being somewhere? Or to go to Tescos, once maybe twice a week?

This is not unreasonable or unfair, but these are the circumstances that the government has asked us all to abide by because we are in lockdown, in the midst of a deadly infectious disease.

You moan and complain about restriction, but its for good reason, because of the danger of the virus. In so many posts, where people feel they are being forced what to do or told what to do, you have never mentioned nor seem to accept why these restrictions are on place? It because of the danger of the virus.

Do you think the government wanted to put the country into lockdown, and have to spend billions trying to keep businesses afloat? Of course the government didn't want to go to such extreme measures, but they have had to because of the danger of the virus, and with just how contagious it is.

That's what this is about.

Steer55

mikemac2 wrote: »

Citywest self isolation centre is for people like you OP

Since you feel unsafe in your house share check it out.

https://www2.hse.ie/services/coronavirus-self-isolation-facilities/

In fairness who would want to go into that place to cocoon where the virus is rife. I rather go find a cave somewhere.

dartboardio

this is your issue, again, not his , OP.

If you have multiple conditions and would be more prone to the virus than the next person, then you must ensure YOU cocoon yourself.

Stay in your room, with food, the cat, entertainment, only leave to go to the bathroom or if you really need some fresh air.

You cannot expect your housemate to not pop out for a walk, or to the shops like he is allowed to do, just because of you.

Plumbthedepths

MissJustice wrote: »

Precisely my point.

Thanks Nox001.

This is not about telling anyone what to do nor forcing anyone what to do with regards to the virus.

It's about following the guidelines that the government have set out, practicing some cop on, and having respect and consideration for others. And I wouldn't mind, but people are not restricted to their house whatsoever, not will they be forever.

People on this thread can't seem to be able to accept or understand that, and as just pointed out, you think that people are being told what to do or forced with what they can and can't do.

I never asked nor would I ever tell anyone to cocoon with me. I have to do that because of my weak lungs. I cannot tell anyone what to do, nor force them, but my point is that is it really that difficult to follow some basic advice such as spending 20 seconds to wash your hands when you come in from being somewhere? Or to go to Tescos, once maybe twice a week?

This is not unreasonable or unfair, but these are the circumstances that the government has asked us all to abide by because we are in lockdown, in the midst of a deadly infectious disease.

You moan and complain about restriction, but its for good reason, because of the danger of the virus. In so many posts, where people feel they are being forced what to do or told what to do, you have never mentioned nor seem to accept why these restrictions are on place? It because of the danger of the virus.

Do you think the government wanted to put the country into lockdown, and have to spend billions trying to keep businesses afloat? Of course the government didn't want to go to such extreme measures, but they have had to because of the danger of the virus, and with just how contagious it is.

That's what this is about.

Two weeks OP before the lockdown starts unwinding, you should use that time to plan your living arrangements. Covid 19 will still be around. Weak lungs and you have a cat?