I'm cocooning - housemate being a d*ck

MissJustice

robinbird wrote: »

You are not entitled to monitor the control the behaviour of your fellow housemates by telling them when they can leave the house and for what purpose and when they should wash their hands.
You do not have that power.
Your fears and anxieties are not his.
So either accept that or move out.

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

knucklehead6

In fairness, Robin isn’t wrong. This lad is being a dick, but he’s obeying the law. You’ve no right to dictate to him when he can and cannot leave the house.
Is he being a dick. Yes.
Is he breaking the law. No
Can you make him modify his behaviour. No

undertaker fan 88

Unfortunately for you he can go to Tesco as much as he wants. From the 18th of may he can meet up with people close by aswell. And once the other steps are in hes allowed have people call to him also. You need isolate on your own somewhere else as you cannot force him to do as you do.

Dav010

I have to agree with other posters, what your flat mate is doing is typical of young healthy people. And from the 18th, he will be allowed to do a lot more.

Your health issue is particular to you, not your flat mates so the onus is on you to make the necessary arrangements for safe cocooning. Of course he should be washing his hands as soon as he comes in, but apart from that, I think you are being harsh on him.

JustAThought

OP sounds totally hysterical and totally intolerant and controlling. As for cocooning - OP is not self isolating - this means staying in your bedroom with no contact with others - this is what the OP can do to protect yourself from others - it sounds like the OP wants the run of the house as though it is a private let and with nobody else around. Sharing in this circumstance does not suit them and as they are unwilling to take the steps many front line or at risk people are to isolate themself - in in their own private room with no contact with others wearing gloves and a facemask when necessary to use the kitchen or shared bathroom , then I suggest the OP get in your car and drive back to their parents and stat there until they are in a position to rent their own bedsit or shre with others without trying to totally control and dictate to them.

As regards the OP’s illnesses ‘mild asthma ‘and thinking you might have MS but have never been tested for either and being controlling and hysterical will not put you high on a list for private medical isolation unit courtesy of the taxpayer - these would be reserved for people with actual disgnosed illnesses such as cancer, lukemia, cystic fibrosis and not imaginary non tested speculative self diagnosis based on no medical or verified grounds.

As regards to sharing in a hotel environment - particularly with your outlook - shared spaces and corridors and many different outlooks and people isolating who actually have been diagnosed with and have the virus - I cannot see how that would suit the OP mentally - particularly given her mindless repetitive intolerance after every post here of her current flatmates and her desire to have them arrested or imprisoned rather than learn how to share and self isolate by herself in her own room.

As this virus is not going away and has no cure suggest she gets herself into her bedroom and cops on or gets herself a ground floor bedsit or moves out and back home. I’d say her flatmates heads are melted with her - no winder they are going out several times a day to be away from her - I imagine many others would too if this kind of petulant, controlling behaviour and constant nagging was going on by a third party in my home environment.

EDit

This thread sums up Boards really. Someone asks for advice, someone gives good advice, then some twat turns up and turns it into an argument

jimmycrackcorm

MissJustice wrote: »

That would be a great idea, but I have a cat!

So your underlying conditions mean you are at great risk from this deadly disease, but you're more concerned about a cat?

snoopboggybog

So you have underlying issues and have a cat. I find that strange.

You cannot force your housemate to do anything. Best thing you can do is move home to your family.

If you have any sort of document outlaying your illness then drive to your folks and isolate for two weeks or get them to pick you up. Email any proof to your parents as well if they have to pick you up. Even a quick call from your parents to the local Garda station from yourself or your parents they'll give you some sort of document. The gaurds will not do you for this if you have proof.

The restrictions are been eased over the coming weeks so it's only going to get worse.

Your better off moving out now.

You can't tell your housemate how to live his life.

lawred2

Would have thought chest conditions and a cat weren't great bedfellows myself..

OP, I think you either need to fully self isolate in your own room or head home to your folks. You have no remit nor right to restrict the already restricted movements of your flatmate.

What are you going to go in a few weeks?

Still waters

EDit wrote: »

This thread sums up Boards really. Someone asks for advice, someone gives good advice, then some twat turns up and turns it into an argument

Or the op asks for advice, gets advice and doesn't like it, proceeds to dictate how the housemate should do what they says and starts an argument over it with him, they sound unreasonable and controlling

padser

adrian92 wrote: »

Perhaps contact your GP or HSE C19 helpline for advice

This is the best advice you have gotten.

Your housemate who is going to Tesco and working sounds like he is likely doing exactly what he is allowed / meant to do. I'm not sure what you would be reporting to the Gardai.

Your other housemate is effectively cocooning because they live with someone who has mild asthma and has decided to cocoon. That's fine, it's your decision to cocoon and their decision to help you do it.

I'd suggest moving across the country to your family or contacting HSE

padser

MissJustice wrote: »

I really don't understand how asking someone ... amounts to restricting his behaviour. He can go for 20 walks a day if he wants, just as long as he is not around people all the time like what he is doing.

Is it really that difficult for him to go to Tesco's once maybe twice a week, as apposed to almost every day, and the shop also?

Is it not clear to you how all the statements you make in your post "amount to restricting his behaviour"?????

If you seek to specify how often he shops, how he excersises , whether he goes to work - on what planet is that not "restricting his behaviour"?

Plumbthedepths

OP with one exception you are getting no sympathy here for your attitude towards your housemate. However you have gotten some straightforward advice. Contact your GP and family and go home. The virus is going nowhere and the restrictions will lift , I doubt your attitude to your housemate will improve when that happens.
Go to your parents, take care.

weldoninhio

MissJustice wrote: »

The virus is not an excuse. It is a deadly infectious disease, and if I pick it up, I'm in hospital for sure, or could end up even worse off. That's the situation I'm in.

I'm not saying he did anything illegal at all? I'm asking for him to have some consideration and respect with who he lives with, particularly me, and I have long term medical conditions.

You’ve asked at least three times if you could get the Gardai to deal with him. If you are not saying he did anything illegal why do you keep bringing up the Garda?

There is nothing you can do, bar leave if it’s bothering you that much. That’s the long and the short of it.

weldoninhio

MissJustice wrote: »

:rolleyes::rolleyes:
As apposed to him going to Tescos maybe once and twice a week, and washing his hands and carrying out precautions like the rest of the country is doing??

There is no restriction on how many times a week you can go to the shop. There is no law on hand washing.

Shefwedfan

Sorry but I don’t understand why you can’t go home? You mention it’s the other side of country but people are allowed travel

You live in a house share, that is not the location to cocooning. You should be with nobody, you cant expect people to cocoon, it can be hard especially if young and used to going out

Also you can’t go to HSE because of a cat? You are demanding house mate to respect your new requirements but don’t want to change anything yourself? Put the cat into one of the holiday places and go to HSE location

Or get someone to bring you home....already suggest about emailing condition etc....

You should have moved out weeks ago and you would be better to get it sorted now and move out today

Steer55

Quite possible the OP would drive her parents insane if she goes home. She needs to find a studio bedsit where she can be by herself. This virus is going nowhere soon so she's going to have to prepare to live with it. Also maybe she could find some online work to occupy her time and save some money to enable her to move out.

Shefwedfan

Steer55 wrote: »

Quite possible the OP would drive her parents insane if she goes home. She needs to find a studio bedsit where she can be by herself. This virus is going nowhere soon so she's going to have to prepare to live with it. Also maybe she could find some online work to occupy her time and save some money to enable her to move out.

Finding and paying for a studio bedsit is the issue. Plus i would expect they are in a lease, so just dropping out of it now could be problematic.

A landlord will not want a cat in a bedsit, the confinded space would not suit a cat.

snoopboggybog

OP Just go home to the parents. Simple.

Really worth risking your health over a cat.

Shefwedfan

snoopboggybog wrote: »

OP Just go home to the parents. Simple.

Really worth risking your health over a cat.

I would expect if going to the parents the cat can come with?

snoopboggybog

Shefwedfan wrote: »

I would expect if going to the parents the car can come with?

I misread the thread, but sense of entitlement from OP is crazy,

Shefwedfan

NewClareman wrote: »

I'm appalled with this statement and the level of thoughtlessness and selfishness it shows. The housemate is being a dick, and putting his housemates lives at risk. Thankfully most people in Ireland are behaving more responsibly. Whatever about the rest of his behaviour, not observing basic hygiene in the middle of a pandemic is inexcusable.

Sorry I disagree

The OP is living in a house share. The OP is demanding everyone else in the house has to cocoon or as close to cocoon as possible because of her requirements. This is not how a house share works.

As soon as this virus came out they should have immediately moved out and not expected the rest of the hosue to change their lives to suit her requirements. She is not working, not an essential worker so she could cocoon anywhere.

The other tenants is following the guidelines from what I can see, nothing to say they have to go to Tesco once a week etc.

As I mentioned already, this is having a huge effect on everyone. A young person who is used to go out could be struggling with staying indoors and thats why he is going out. Has anyone considered him? has the OP asked how he is? or just attack him for not following her new rules?

I always say two sides to a story, we dont have the other tenants. The 3rd tenant is irrelevant to be honest, but what happens in 2-3 weeks time when all her/his friends are starting to go out and OP still expect her/him to sit in the house? that will start more tension

THe OP should of moved out at the start, they should move out now as in reality they are not going far till August. Making both tenants cocoon till August is not very considerate is it?

Not trying to start a big war now or anything.....but the OP is calling for consideration but doesn't seem to have any for the other tenats

Stark

This situation is only going to get worse as the restrictions start easing up. Expecting everyone in the house to cocoon is unreasonable. As time goes by, they'll want to visit their friends, go to cafes/restaurants, start doing normal things. OP is the one who needs to move out.

Put it this way, if one of the housemates develops a cat allergy, do they have the right to tell the OP to get rid of her cat? Because she's trying to impose similar restrictions on their freedom.

Schefwedfan wrote:

As I mentioned already, this is having a huge effect on everyone. A young person who is used to go out could be struggling with staying indoors and thats why he is going out. Has anyone considered him? has the OP asked how he is? or just attack him for not following her new rules?

Judging from the OP's tone and guessing what the tension situation in the house must be like, I'd be getting out of there as much as possible myself.

SNNUS

I'd like the other tenants side of the story to be honest.

Caranica

It's possible to live in a houseshare and not come into contact with a housemate. I do it all the time. OP if you won't move out you've got to work at not crossing paths with him. It's not impossible, you will just need to spend more time in your room.

54and56

MissJustice wrote: »

I can't stay with my family as they live the other side of the country.

I have no option at all. I have to stay here.

If you live on your own in rented accommodation and don't work what's preventing you from moving to the other side of the country to live with family who presumably would respect your need to cocoon and provide you with the support you need?

Ger Roe

robinbird wrote: »

Well. The OP came on here looking for sympathy and condemnation of her housemate. She was asking if there was anything that she could use against him to report him to the Gardai. And what exactly was he doing Working with a relative, perhaps legally and going to Tesco.
Oh and yes. She has been monitoring his behaviour and noticed the he did not wash his hands after entering the house.
And he is a housemate in a houseshare. My opinion is that she is not entitled to instruct her housemate how to behave to this extent. If she has an issue with him not washing his hands or going to Tesco the proper thing to do is find alternative accommodation with people who are willing to do as she instructs them or else to live alone.

The other housemates disregard for the current public health advice and restrictions, puts everyone at potential risk, not just her. Is there anyone on the planet at the moment who doesn't appreciate the necessity to wash hands ... often ... and to restrict their movements?

snoopboggybog

Caranica wrote: »

It's possible to live in a houseshare and not come into contact with a housemate. I do it all the time. OP if you won't move out you've got to work at not crossing paths with him. It's not impossible, you will just need to spend more time in your room.

This 100% if you can't move home, perhaps ask him if your cooking food would he mind staying in his room for 20 minutes while you cook food.

Stay in your room then during the rest of the day.

Use your own cutlery as well.

snoopboggybog

Ger Roe wrote: »

The other housemates disregard for the current public health advice and restrictions, puts everyone at potential risk, not just her. Is there anyone on the planet at the moment who doesn't appreciate the necessity to wash hands ... often ... and to restrict their movements?

Yes but what can you do? It's not illegal.

Ger Roe

weldoninhio wrote: »

There is no restriction on how many times a week you can go to the shop. There is no law on hand washing.

No, but there is a vast difference between what you CAN do and what you SHOULD do. Problem is that if people can't see that for themselves, they won't be told.