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Relationships - Age limits
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Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »It's hardly just my personal opinion.
Female students having crushes on older male lecturers and professors is relatively common, and well documented. It's much less common when the genders are reversed.
In my university, it is the reverse. Plenty of guys talk about what they’d like to some of the female lecturers, most of the girls just cringe at the male lecturers’ bad jokes. However, even disregarding anecdotal evidence, Pornhub released their 2017 statistics and the MILF category was the 3rd must searched for category, beating searches for ‘teen’ which only came in at number 6, showing a fair proportion of guys must find 'older' women attractive.0 -
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TheBoyConor wrote: »Sounds like you're having a mid life or menopausal crisis running around with that toy boy.
No big deal until she wants commitment, marriage and babies in a couple of years when you are still only a young fella by comparison and not wanting that level of relationship.
Fair point but I was aware of that going in - and to be fair she had made me aware of the situation early on - and long-term is what I'm going for! But It's a good point if you didn't consider it. 0 -
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Fair point but I was aware of that going in - and to be fair she had made me aware of the situation early on - and long-term is what I'm going for! But It's a good point if you didn't consider it.
Did you not think you were getting yourself tied down very young?
Most 23 year old lads want to spend the next 5 years or so getting up on as many things with holes as possible. Not getting shackled to a long term "partner".0 -
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Yeah but at 32 now I don't want to get tied down with a partner and potentially, marriage and children any more now than I did at 23. No interest in it.
Apparently my aunt is lighting candles for me in various churches in the hope I'll marry. She'll need to light an awful lot more.
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Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,099 Mod ✭✭✭✭
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In age gap relationships I've noted in such couples I've known that if anything older woman, younger man(if it's ten years or more and the guy is say early 20's) gets as much if not more behind the back whispers and static than older guy, younger woman. I've also found the most static tends to come from other women, in both scenarios. Certainly when I or mates, male and female have been in relationships with anything thought a bit off piste - age gap/non Irish say - it was far more women felt the need to comment, usually negatively. Though Women™ as a group tend to be more into social commentary in the Real World™, men tend more to keep their own counsel, beyond early adulthood anyway, so both probably share the same opinions, just it's more likely women will voice them.One eyed Jack wrote: »It’s far more than a simple case of ‘reverse the genders’ as though the same standards apply though. They don’t. Often when a man in his mid-40’s has related his relationship with a younger woman in her 20s, it reads like they see themselves as having ‘saved’ these women, which generally comes off as cringeworthy if I’m being honest. I can understand in that context why the way they present their circumstances might draw a negative reception from people of both genders, in equal measure.
Yep, which is interesting from the standpoint that the results contradicted the stats from natural non IVF births. Reasons for that? In couples with fertility issues it's just as likely to be the man shooting blanks(some research suggests it's more likely). So the men in an IVF study are already at a disadvantage. If you're sub fertile at 30, it ain't gonna improve with the years. Also my point earlier that an older guy who can naturally attract younger women compared to the average of his peers is likely able to do so because he is physically healthier and fitter than his peers and this would be reflected in his "looks" and his fertility. I'd be willing to bet that if you took a section of his peers of the same age they'd have more fertility problems.DublinLady22 wrote: »It certainly has a result on birth success anyway. In a study by European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology examining IVF success of over 7000 couples in Boston from 2000-2014, it was found that while the lowest birth rates were for women over 40, where the woman was under 40 it was the man’s age that affected birth decline, even taking into account other variables that may cause a decline e.g. smoking.
+1000. Such lists are as likely to be made up by agents and PR people clattered out by the bored office junior journo and almost exclusively feature current "stars". Like "best albums ever" often contain recent stuff that will be utterly forgotten in a decade's time.DublinLady22 wrote: »Firstly, I do not think any of these 'most beautiful/sexiest' lists are an accurate representation of what the average person finds attractive
Aye. Most people end up with others roughly the "same" as them in age, background, looks, social status etc. Now there are enough famous or semi famous and/or wealthy blokes who go younger, sometimes much younger(Leo DeCaprio(Sp?)) would be one, but generally speaking...Aside from Beckham, all the above men have married in recent years. If such men are some of the most desirable in the world, and arguably could have all the 20 year old models they could ever want, it is interesting that they have all chosen to spend their lives with women who are close in age to them or older.
True. the Milf category is very popular. Though a relatively recent thing. It didn't exist as a "thing" in the 70's or 80's porn. Either a learned behaviour or fulfilling an existing market? I'd say mostly the latter myself. The next level up from "Milf"(anyone over 25 to around 35) is "Mature"(late 30's and up) is also popular. "BBW", IE fat lasses are also very popular. As I've said before porn gives a far better idea of the broad scope of men's tastes than the fashion world or Hollywood ever has.DublinLady22 wrote: »However, even disregarding anecdotal evidence, Pornhub released their 2017 statistics and the MILF category was the 3rd must searched for category, beating searches for ‘teen’ which only came in at number 6, showing a fair proportion of guys must find 'older' women attractive.
It would be interesting to see the stats on who is watching which genres? Is Milf more searched by younger men or men of that age, or older? Though I remember watching some documentary on porn where one of the women joked that she did a "teen" scene and a "milf" scene on the same day. It is a bit skewed too as outside of "BBW" stuff the majority of porn actresses from "teen" to "milf" have figures in the top range of what's considered alluring regardless of their ages. Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.
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TheBoyConor wrote: »Yeah but at 32 now I don't want to get tied down with a partner and potentially, marriage and children any more now than I did at 23. No interest in it.
Apparently my aunt is lighting candles for me in various churches in the hope I'll marry. She'll need to light an awful lot more.
Genuinely, what business is it of hers?
That sort of legacy attitude is why there is even a question that brings up these sort of threads. So long as any two people are of legal age and of sound mind (i.e. neither mentally impaired or vulnerable to any sort of abuse) to enter into a relationship, friendship with benefits it really is not one bit of anyone elses business.
Yes the old adage of 0.5x +7 is there, but at 41 if i want to date an 18yo and she does me, then i will. (not in a billion years will that happen i can assure)
They say people need to learn the value of 'no', but they also need to learn the value of '**** off and mind your own business'.0 -
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For me, you can't really put an age on love. If there's an initial attraction between two people, regardless of the age, if they begin dating, love can grow and you can fall for that person.
It's easy for people to say I'd have this or that limit if they're partnered with someone of a similar age or if they're single and being idealistic but the reality is, if they were partnered with someone older or younger, they wouldn't be singing from that hymn sheet. Having said that, if there is a big age gap and one person in the relationship is below the age of twenty, I'd say there would still be a bit of growing up to do there and it wouldn't really feel appropriate to me.
With regard to the op I'd say go for it. She's 25 so it's not like she's young and foolish anymore! I met my now wife when I was 31 and she was 25 and we're like pigs in sh!te 0 -
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whats with older men lusting after younger women anyhow??.....
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In age gap relationships I've noted in such couples I've known that if anything older woman, younger man(if it's ten years or more and the guy is say early 20's) gets as much if not more behind the back whispers and static than older guy, younger woman. I've also found the most static tends to come from other women, in both scenarios. Certainly when I or mates, male and female have been in relationships with anything thought a bit off piste - age gap/non Irish say - it was far more women felt the need to comment, usually negatively.
Yeah I guess I was thinking in that moment particularly of examples online, and and one in particular on here who took a woeful amount of flack for his relationship where his now wife is half his age, as in he’s middle-aged and she was 19 when they met. Even the opening post of this thread sounds familiar from the perspective of the kinds of things I’ve heard men say to other men when they developed what I would describe at least as an infatuation with a young woman. It wasn’t love, it was as though they were re-living what they felt were the lost years of their youth when there wasn’t a girl their age would even entertain them then so they never had that chance for that kind of relationship with someone their own age.
I can think of only one example from my own experience where a friend of mine who was in her 40s at the time recently divorced from her husband and decided she too wanted the chance to recapture what she felt should have been the best years of her life. I just couldn’t get with it when she pursued a relationship with a guy who was only 20 at the time, and told her as much. I don’t know how it worked out as we’re no longer in touch. Initially I thought it was only a fling, but she started talking about their future together and I just thought “nah, can’t get on board with that...” Her female friends however thought she was something of a legend for bagging herself an adolescent toy boy.Though Women™ as a group tend to be more into social commentary in the Real World™, men tend more to keep their own counsel, beyond early adulthood anyway, so both probably share the same opinions, just it's more likely women will voice them.
I suppose you did say the real world and I’d have to agree men do tend to be more accepting of other men’s choices in terms of relationships, but I can think of numerous examples of men warning other men off ‘gold-diggers’ for example, where those men feel perfectly free to offer their opinions on how a man may be placing himself in a financially precarious position. In my experience at least, women are thinking about their friends welfare in terms of the emotional cost, whereas the financial cost tends to be at the forefront of most men’s minds when they see their middle-aged friend rocking up to the bar with some arm candyandekwarhola wrote: »And no way would I have went out with a 17 year old when I was in my late 20s. I'd say most parents would take a pretty dim view of their own 17 year old kid being in such a relationship.
He’s a while off it yet but certainly I’d take a very dim view if my son at 17 came home with a 27 year old. I’d be telling her she should have a word with herself. I remember when I was 17 and I developed an infatuation with my 23 year old teacher. She had the sense to put me straight there and then rather than entertain the thoughts of any sort of a relationship, and it’s only now that I am older I can see it was not just the best thing she could have done for herself, but it was the best thing she did for me too!0 -
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