Relationships - Age limits

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

Grayson wrote: »

Don't other countries have laws that cover this kind of stuff. So it'd be illegal for me to have sex with a 15 year old, but not for a 16 year old to have sex with a 15 year old. There's clauses that specifically affect teenagers.

Many other countries have a so-called "Romeo and Juliet" exemption for young couples who are close in age. But that doesn't exist in Ireland.

Instead, we just have gender discrimination. If two 16-year-olds have sex, the boy can be prosecuted but the girl cannot.

http://www.thejournal.ie/statutory-rape-boy-concern-2643527-Mar2016/

Discodog

elefant wrote: »

Grim.

But blissfully happy & I am sure that they don't give a fart about the views of dinosaurs.

Cienciano

25 and 38 is ok imho. You might feel a bit out of place around her mates or in some of the pubs/clubs she wants to go. I'd be surprised if it worked out long term, but give it a go.

witchgirl26

OP my mam was 24 and my dad was 40 when they got married. Both were adults so all ok. The only time I think there's an issue is when one of the partners hasn't hit their 20's yet and there's a significant age gap.

Age means nothing as long as two people are compatible. Go for it.

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Sister in law started dating a guy in college, while she was in junior cert. Didnt sit right, why wasnt he getting college poon? Thought it a bit greasy.

Sure enough, he got done for paedo photos about 4 years later (they'd broken up by then).
Greasy fcuker


If it looks and feels greasy, it probably is.

Yeah but that's totally different to what the OP is talking about! I went out with a guy who was past college age when I was 17 (he was 24). We just had loads in common. Wasn't greasy at all but some people thought it was weird. Broke up (nothing to do with the ages) but still friends to this day.

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Aye, and 2 or 3 years can be the difference between statutory rape and not.

IMO theres something seriously wrong with a guy in college hitting on a schoolkid.

Again not what's being asked here though. Unless the 25 year old is still in school.......then that's a whole different issue!

elefant

Discodog wrote: »

But blissfully happy & I am sure that they don't give a fart about the views of dinosaurs.

Fair enough. It'll be tough when she's in her thirties and he's pushing 80 though.

PandaPoo

My husband's 36 and I'm 26, been together since I was 21. We definitely got looks and he's even been called my dad a few times.

Don't let it bother you.

Discodog

elefant wrote: »

Fair enough. It'll be tough when she's in her thirties and he's pushing 80 though.

Why? You obviously don't believe in love.

grindle

Discodog wrote: »

Why? You obviously don't believe in love.

You can love an 80 year old all you want, you'd still have to contend with their likely-to-be-imminent death.

TheBoyConor

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

The difference between a 6th year in school and a "guy in college" can be a few months.

If an 18-year-old man can be prosecuted for having sex with his 16-year-old girlfriend, that indicates a problem with our laws, not with their behavior.

So you think p*dophilia should be legalised? Cos that is what you are saying with the above statement.

Yillan

TheBoyConor wrote: »

So you think p*dophilia should be legalised? Cos that is what you are saying with the above statement.

Must try harder

lonewolf1961

I have a friend who is with a girl 15 years he,s junior . he,s been with her year,s now they have a kid together but it has got to the stage where she want,s to be out partying now and he just want,s a quite life . she goes out with her friends & he,s up the fooking wall . when he first got with her he use to brag to me look at me with a girl 15 years my junior and smile :) . now he just gives out fook about her been out with her mates . funny how things turn around :):):):) ... life is a strange thing ..

TheBoyConor

What is his problem with her going out with her friends?
Sounds fairly obnoxious and controlling to be fair.

Strazdas

It can also depend on how people look and act. Some people look and act much younger for their age whilst another person of the same age can seem much older. I wouldn't be too hung up on the actual ages.

lonewolf1961

TheBoyConor wrote: »

What is his problem with her going out with her friends?
Sounds fairly obnoxious and controlling to be fair.

Think about it !!!!!!! that,s how he met her she was out with her friend,s .......

erica74

frosty123 wrote: »

Ok, i'm a bloke of 38 and i'm contemplating asking out a 25 yr old woman..so thats a 13 year age gap.

Ive been called a dirty bastard, cradle snatcher etc...am i?

But surely if a woman (or indeed man) is 25 they're old & mature enough to date whatever age partner they want??

I want feedback on this please...whats your age gap limit? have you ever been out with someone thats has been way older than you.. or way younger than you?

Thanks,

I was 22 when I started dating my husband, who was 33. We've been together 9 years and married for 5 years. Our age difference hasn't had any noticeable impact on our relationship. Obviously we got married so that's a good sign.
Genuinely there isn't now and there never was an issue in our relationship that I would put down to age difference.

I think if you were a woman asking this question, the answers would be vastly different. Some people may disagree with me but I think a 33 year old woman dating a 22 year old man is an entirely different matter to a 33 year old man dating a 22 year old woman.

lonewolf1961

Strazdas wrote: »

It can also depend on how people look and act. Some people look and act much younger for their age whilst another person of the same age can seem much older. I wouldn't be too hung up on the actual ages.

Age is just a number . if you get on with someone who cares about age .

Discodog

grindle wrote: »

You can love an 80 year old all you want, you'd still have to contend with their likely-to-be-imminent death.

Death is inevitable so why worry ?

grindle

Discodog wrote: »

Death is inevitable so why worry ?

Because the supposed ideal would be two people of similar ages growing old together, not people with with 50 year age gaps having a blip of a relationship.

I don't have a problem with this 50yr gap btw, if they want to go out with eachother they can.
Pretending there's no downside is moronic.

Discodog

grindle wrote: »

Because the supposed ideal would be two people of similar ages growing old together, not people with with 50 year age gaps having a blip of a relationship.

I don't have a problem with this 50yr gap btw, if they want to go out with eachother they can.
Pretending there's no downside is moronic.

If he dies at 80 they will have had 23 years together - hardly a blip. Maybe some people don't analyse whether a relationship has downsides before deciding to fall in love.

grindle

Discodog wrote: »

If he dies at 80 they will have had 23 years together - hardly a blip. Maybe some people don't analyse whether a relationship has downsides before deciding to fall in love.

Some don't, that's very probable! I really do wish the very best of luck to her if she loses him before he loses her, no matter what age he pops off it'll be desperately harrowing. Let's hope he lives to 120 and she reaches 80.
I'll ask my ex to cast some form of hex to make it so.

Tell me how

Discodog wrote: »

Death is inevitable so why worry ?

Death isn't the problem people struggle with. It's the loss for those left behind.

the_syco

Dravokivich wrote: »

I was asked something similar by a mate of mine over the weekend and I said "I've no problem being old and dirty as long as she's young and willing"

Amen to that brother!

RWCNT

Deleted User wrote: »

A good first question to ask yourself is whether you like this person _because_ of the age they are or _despite_ the age they are.

Assuming the person I am with is a consenting adult I have no age limits myself - once I actually want to be with the person themselves.

If I ever caught myself attracted to someone _because_ of the age they are however I would be worried.

There is a 10 year age gap existing in my current relationship for example. Is not an issue at all. Felt more of an issue when we started going out as she was 17 when we met. But she is 29 now. And 40 is looming before me like a dark cloud.

Oh yea and now she is pregnant

You were 27/28 years old and hooked up with a seventeen year old???? What the **** man, Im not surprised you have a pre-prepared rationalisation in place for that, since most people would find that pretty much indefensible.

RWCNT

RWCNT wrote: »

You were 27/28 years old and hooked up with a seventeen year old???? What the **** man, Im not surprised you have a pre-prepared rationalisation in place for that, since most people would find that pretty much indefensible.

Perhaps if I felt I needed to defend it to anyone - least of all you - I might be concerned with that. But I do not. We met - things developed over time - and I went into the relationship eyes open. And we have been happy.

I neither took the decision lightly at the time - nor did I go into it because of what age she was. Either of which I would feel required defending - and would be indefensible.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

TheBoyConor wrote: »

So you think p*dophilia should be legalised? Cos that is what you are saying with the above statement.

An 18-year-old going out with a girl two years younger than him is a pedophile? I think you need to look the word up in the dictionary.

NI24

erica74 wrote: »

I think if you were a woman asking this question, the answers would be vastly different. Some people may disagree with me but I think a 33 year old woman dating a 22 year old man is an entirely different matter to a 33 year old man dating a 22 year old woman.

Biologically, yes, but morally there isn't, yet I can't tell you how many men feel the need to make comments on older women/younger men relationships when they do the exact same thing and at a much higher rate and for much shallower reasons.

NI24

Deleted User wrote: »

Perhaps if I felt I needed to defend it to anyone - least of all you - I might be concerned with that. But I do not. We met - things developed over time - and I went into the relationship eyes open. And we have been happy.

I neither took the decision lightly at the time - nor did I go into it because of what age she was. Either of which I would feel required defending - and would be indefensible.

And yet you just spent an entire post defending your position. So obviously it does weigh on you.

NI24

Limechime wrote: »

What are shallow reasons for being in a relationship?

Shallow reasons for being with a younger person are looks.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

NI24 wrote: »

Biologically, yes, but morally there isn't, yet I can't tell you how many men feel the need to make comments on older women/younger men relationships when they do the exact same thing and at a much higher rate and for much shallower reasons.

You can't necessarily assume the reasons are shallow.

What if a man decides at the age of 45 that he really wants a family? He'd have a better chance of achieving that goal with someone in her twenties or thirties than with a woman his own age.

NI24

NI24 wrote: »

And yet you just spent an entire post defending your position. So obviously it does weigh on you.

Except no where in my post did I do any such thing. I was discussing the users opinion of such a requirement - which is false and (s)he has not returned to defend.

Further I think you will find there is a difference between defending and justifying a position - and explaining why a position does not require defending or justification. Doing the second is in no way doing the first. I was doing the second. You appear to want to imagine I was doing the first.

I do not think the age difference in question requires and defence of justification per se by any kind of automatic decree. Rather - whether it requires one entirely depends on the motivations and reasons behind the people pursuing such a relationship.

If a person around the age of 27 was targetting a 17 year old - specifically because that person was 17 years of old - then for sure that 27 year old should be held to account for it with healthy suspicion. We would want to be sure that such a person is not indulging his Ephebophilia rather than his genuine interest in a given individual.

But many relationships in our world develop _despite_ not because of something that would in other situations or contexts normally be a barrier. And I see nothing wrong with that. Then - or now. Nor does a line as erudite (not) as "what the **** man" seem inclined to suggest why I might or should.