Relationships - Age limits

Wibbs · 13-09-2018 10:19am

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

They'd be wrong in that case. A new study of online dating published in the journal Science Advances shows that women's sexual desirability peaks at age 18 while men's peaks at age 50. See the New York Times article on it here.

Those peaks reflect online preferences. These are going to be skewed for a multitude of reasons. I would say they do reflect a general trend as far as attraction goes for the sexes. That is, women's peak of sexual attractiveness is at a younger age than men's. If I was to bet what the distance between those peaks is on average and excluding rock stars and actors and billionaires? Men have around ten years extra to play with.

Just going on personal observation down the years men who don't go to seed and have their lives together hit their general "peak" around their mid 30's. Women's peak in that mix is around 25. That's the age when both have the widest options and choice in dating with the most general spread of interest to the opposite sex. At 50? No way is the average guy got those options and choices by comparison to his 35 year old self. Not as far as women from 20-35 go anyway. His "catchment age" goes up. It would be more along the lines of 35 to 50(the better looking and fitter he is the more of the 35's are in play). So yeah, about a ten year difference. Ditto for starting a family and having kids.

These are very generalised averages mind you. Most end up with partners roughly their own age, generally where the guy is a couple of years older.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 10:19am

wakka12 wrote: »

If so then why is nearly every woman in college dating guys her age?

Probably because people in college tend to date other people they meet in college, who in turn tend to be mostly in the 18 to 22 age range. It doesn't mean that young women are only interested in men the same age.

All those men also look very young for their age, hardly any normal middle aged guys especially in ireland look like them at all.

Ireland is atypical in that it has very high rates of obesity, alcohol abuse, and smoking, all of which tend to accelerate the aging process. Irish people in their 30s and 40s look markedly older than men in other countries. Go to France, Germany, or Scandinavia and you'll find plenty of healthy, fit, attractive men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s.

Grayson · 13-09-2018 10:22am

wakka12 wrote: »

If so then why is nearly every woman in college dating guys her age? If they were so attracted to men that much older they would be dating them and single middle aged guys would have no problem meeting and dating girls in their twenties

All those men also look very young for their age, hardly any normal middle aged guys especially in ireland look like them at all

Because their dating pool doesn't have hot muscley 40 year olds in it. I'm sure there's plenty of women in their 20's who'd love to get a guy like Tom Hardy but it's not going to happen because there aren't that many. We tend to date people we meet. A lot of relationships start with coworkers for example. And if you're a 25 year old woman sitting next to a Tom Hardy type guy in the office then there's a chance there. But you're not going to run into him in a lecture on campus, a student union night out or at any of the clubs frequented by 20 year olds.

Grayson · 13-09-2018 10:26am

Wibbs wrote: »

Those peaks reflect online preferences. These are going to be skewed for a multitude of reasons.

Look at porn online (I mean look at it in general, not open a browser window and start looking at it right now

) 18-22 is teen. Anything older is MILF. The internet is very skewed towards the pervy demographic.

B0jangles · 13-09-2018 10:26am

wakka12 wrote: »

If so then why is nearly every woman in college dating guys her age? If they were so attracted to men that much older they would be dating them and single middle aged guys would have no problem meeting and dating girls in their twenties

All those men also look very young for their age, hardly any normal middle aged guys especially in ireland look like them at all

It's obviously because those silly girls aren't keeping up with the latest studies and statistical data.

And is it really surprising that the men who were voted 'hottest' have excellent name recognition and most have been in the public eye for upwards of a decade?

I know if I was asked to name the 'hottest guy', I really wouldn't be putting a huge amount of thought into it - it'd probably be some famous guy who I'd seen being very handsome in a film. I'm hardly likely to track down the name of a model I saw in a specsavers ad on the side of a bus shelter.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 10:34am

B0jangles wrote: »

And is it really surprising that the men who were voted 'hottest' have excellent name recognition and most have been in the public eye for upwards of a decade?

Look at a comparable poll where men vote for women they find attractive, such as FHM's annual list of 100 Sexiest Women. You won't find many women on the list older than their early 30s, and practically none in their 40s.

Tell me how · 13-09-2018 10:43am

B0jangles wrote: »

It's obviously because those silly girls aren't keeping up with the latest studies and statistical data.

And is it really surprising that the men who were voted 'hottest' have excellent name recognition and most have been in the public eye for upwards of a decade?

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

Look at a comparable poll where men vote for women they find attractive, such as FHM's annual list of 100 Sexiest Women. You won't find many women on the list older than their early 30s, and practically none in their 40s.

There's more to attraction and interest in a partner than just physical attraction.
Although it's quite different in 2018 from in the past. With OD, many don't get past the physical consideration. "Ugh, I hate that shirt/pants combo. Swipe left"

Grayson · 13-09-2018 10:44am

Tell me how wrote: »

There's more to attraction and interest in a partner than just physical attraction.
Although it's quite different in 2018 from in the past. With OD, many don't get past the physical consideration. "Ugh, I hate that shirt/pants combo. Swipe left"

Are you saying that paisley shorts and leopard print top I'm wearing is making me lose matches?

B0jangles · 13-09-2018 10:45am

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

Look at a comparable poll where men vote for women they find attractive, such as FHM's annual list of 100 Sexiest Women. You won't find many women on the list older than their early 30s, and practically none in their 40s.

People vote on what is presented to them - women in their twenties and early thirties are vastly overrepresented in most Hollywood films compared to women in their '40s - look at how casting works for heaven's sake - men in their 40's, 50's and 60's are regularly paired in films with women in their '20s and maaaaybe early '30s'.

Remember this?

It's pure fantasy fulfillment for older men who want to believe they are more attractive than these young whippersnappers.

In any case, you can't use the results of any kind of poll about which celebrity is the hottest to judge what happens in reality - people don't get to choose between Tom Hardy and Kevin from Marketing.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 10:55am

B0jangles wrote: »

People vote on what is presented to them - women in their twenties and early thirties are vastly overrepresented in most Hollywood films compared to women in their '40s

Actresses in their 40s and beyond like Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman, Robin Wright, Viola Davis, Laura Linney, Meryl Streep, and numerous others are still featured in prominent Hollywood films and TV series -- and yet they aren't making it onto the "sexiest women" lists anymore. So men are not just voting for who they see on the big screen or on TV. They're far more inclined to vote for women in their twenties and early 30s than for women beyond their mid-30s.

B0jangles · 13-09-2018 11:03am

In the film entrapment, the audience was expected to believe that Sean Connery (68)'s character was still able to operate as a cat-burglar (lol) and that he a believable love-interest for Catherine Zeta-Jones (29)'s character (bigger lol).

Tell me how · 13-09-2018 11:04am

Limechime wrote: »

On what basis do you think men are watching a film like entrapment and concluding that they must be sexy?

Yeah, I bet a former Mr Universe and James Bond actor would struggle to meet ladies if he is getting on in years.

B0jangles · 13-09-2018 11:06am

Limechime wrote: »

Why does it bother you?

Who said it bothers me?

I think it's funny and kind of sad when older people simply cannot accept that young people are mostly attracted to other young people.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 11:06am

B0jangles wrote: »

In the film entrapment, the audience was expected to believe that Sean Connery (68)'s character was still able to operate as a cat-burglar (lol) and that he a believable love-interest for Catherine Zeta-Jones (29)'s character (bigger lol).

Given that Catherine Zeta-Jones in real life is married to a man 25 years her senior, I think that makes her attraction to an older actor in a movie fairly credible.

Wibbs · 13-09-2018 11:08am

wakka12 wrote: »

If so then why is nearly every woman in college dating guys her age? If they were so attracted to men that much older they would be dating them and single middle aged guys would have no problem meeting and dating girls in their twenties

True, though one factor as V noted is that people tend to go out with people within their circle and people's circles tend to be of the same age. 20 years olds tend to hang out with other 20 years olds, same with 30, 40 and 50 years olds. Even so I would agree that most average women of that age aren't interested in average guys of 40.

All those men also look very young for their age, hardly any normal middle aged guys especially in ireland look like them at all

More than they look very young for their age, they look what their age is if someone is very fit and healthy with good genetics. And in Hollywierd there's often some chemical and surgical help.

Bigbagofcans · 13-09-2018 11:14am

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

Actresses in their 40s and beyond like Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman, Robin Wright, Viola Davis, Laura Linney, Meryl Streep, and numerous others are still featured in prominent Hollywood films and TV series -- and yet they aren't making it onto the "sexiest women" lists anymore. So men are not just voting for who they see on the big screen or on TV. They're far more inclined to vote for women in their twenties and early 30s than for women beyond their mid-30s.

Some of those actresses never made it onto those lists!

Yes that is true. The love interest of the main actor in an action movie tend to be women in their 20s and 30s. Once they hit 40 they're mainly used in the mother roles.

Tell me how · 13-09-2018 11:15am

Limechime wrote: »

I think some women are really bothered by men who believe they are sexy. They don't want men to realise or think that they can attract beautiful women because it makes it harder to convince men to commit to one.

There's probably more women bothered by single men who believe they are sexy and so the woman should agree and show interest than men who believe they are sexy and might stray from their partner as a consequence to be fair.

Grayson · 13-09-2018 11:20am

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Yes that is true. The love interest of the main actor in an action movie tend to be women in their 20s and 30s. Once they hit 40 they're mainly used in the mother roles.

Reminds me of this

Wibbs wrote: »

More than they look very young for their age, they look what their age is if someone is very fit and healthy with good genetics. And in Hollywierd there's often some chemical and surgical help.

Just saw this during the week. It's Rob McElhenney talking about his "transformation"

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnXtEz1BLFP/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 11:40am

wakka12 wrote: »

If so then why is nearly every woman in college dating guys her age? If they were so attracted to men that much older they would be dating them and single middle aged guys would have no problem meeting and dating girls in their twenties

On this point, I'd note that when I was in college, I noticed plenty of college-aged women drooling over male lecturers in their 30s and 40s, especially if they projected an image of being fit, smart, and successful.

There were no men, to my knowledge, drooling over female lecturers in their 30s and 40s.

Sassygirl1999 · 13-09-2018 11:54am

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

On this point, I'd note that when I was in college, I noticed plenty of college-aged women drooling over male lecturers in their 30s and 40s, especially if they projected an image of being fit, smart, and successful.

There were no men, to my knowledge, drooling over female lecturers in their 30s and 40s.

key ", to my knowledge"

daddy pig · 13-09-2018 11:54am

cashback

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 12:12pm

Sassygirl1999 wrote: »

key ", to my knowledge"

It's hardly just my personal opinion.

Female students having crushes on older male lecturers and professors is relatively common, and well documented. It's much less common when the genders are reversed.

Witchie · 13-09-2018 12:58pm

I turn 45 in a few days and my boyfriend is 28. He looks in his mid-30s and I have been told many times that I look around that age too. We didn't have any issues until my son came over to visit me in Asia and I realised I couldn't introduce my fella as anything other than a mate because I was worried about how he would feel that my man was only a few years older than him. So we broke up.

We got back together and you know what, I don't care. I love him, he loves me and we really make each other happy. Initially, I saw it as just a fling and as someone who's company I enjoyed. Then he got under my skin. He is the sweetest guy, so kind and funny and smart. Everything I could want.

Go for it. See what happens. It might be the best thing that ever happened.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 1:18pm

Witchie wrote: »

I turn 45 in a few days and my boyfriend is 28. He looks in his mid-30s and I have been told many times that I look around that age too. We didn't have any issues until my son came over to visit me in Asia and I realised I couldn't introduce my fella as anything other than a mate because I was worried about how he would feel that my man was only a few years older than him. So we broke up.

We got back together and you know what, I don't care. I love him, he loves me and we really make each other happy. Initially, I saw it as just a fling and as someone who's company I enjoyed. Then he got under my skin. He is the sweetest guy, so kind and funny and smart. Everything I could want.

Go for it. See what happens. It might be the best thing that ever happened.

Good for you. I'm glad you've found happiness regardless of the age difference.

Interestingly, if a man in his mid-40s came on here and said he was in a relationship with a woman in her 20s, I'm sure there would be quite a few snide remarks. I'll be curious to see if that happens when the genders are reversed.

One eyed Jack · 13-09-2018 1:40pm

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

Good for you. I'm glad you've found happiness regardless of the age difference.

Interestingly, if a man in his mid-40s came on here and said he was in a relationship with a woman in her 20s, I'm sure there would be quite a few snide remarks. I'll be curious to see if that happens when the genders are reversed.

It’s far more than a simple case of ‘reverse the genders’ as though the same standards apply though. They don’t. Often when a man in his mid-40’s has related his relationship with a younger woman in her 20s, it reads like they see themselves as having ‘saved’ these women, which generally comes off as cringeworthy if I’m being honest. I can understand in that context why the way they present their circumstances might draw a negative reception from people of both genders, in equal measure.

bottar1 · 13-09-2018 1:41pm

Who cares what people think? I'm 23 and going out with a girl who's 27. No big deal, can't help what we are attracted to. Love is love my friends, enjoy it, go for it if it feels right, and forget what people think.

TheBoyConor · 13-09-2018 1:57pm

Witchie wrote: »

I turn 45 in a few days and my boyfriend is 28. He looks in his mid-30s and I have been told many times that I look around that age too. We didn't have any issues until my son came over to visit me in Asia and I realised I couldn't introduce my fella as anything other than a mate because I was worried about how he would feel that my man was only a few years older than him. So we broke up.

We got back together and you know what, I don't care. I love him, he loves me and we really make each other happy. Initially, I saw it as just a fling and as someone who's company I enjoyed. Then he got under my skin. He is the sweetest guy, so kind and funny and smart. Everything I could want.

Go for it. See what happens. It might be the best thing that ever happened.

Sounds like you're having a mid life or menopausal crisis running around with that toy boy.

Who cares what people think? I'm 23 and going out with a girl who's 27. No big deal, can't help what we are attracted to. Love is love my friends, enjoy it, go for it if it feels right, and forget what people think.

No big deal until she wants commitment, marriage and babies in a couple of years when you are still only a young fella by comparison and not wanting that level of relationship.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b · 13-09-2018 1:59pm

Alfredo Damaged Spectacle wrote: »

Interestingly, if a man in his mid-40s came on here and said he was in a relationship with a woman in her 20s, I'm sure there would be quite a few snide remarks. I'll be curious to see if that happens when the genders are reversed.

TheBoyConor wrote: »

Sounds like you're having a mid life or menopausal crisis running around with that toy boy.

That didn't take long.

Nijmegen · 13-09-2018 2:01pm

None of you heard the rule divide your age in half and add 7? Would make 26 the acceptable floor for OP. Who's gonna argue about a year in that.

Dial Hard · 13-09-2018 2:04pm

Nijmegen wrote: »

None of you heard the rule divide your age in half and add 7? Would make 26 the acceptable floor for OP. Who's gonna argue about a year in that.

It was posted on the very first page :rolleyes:

Relationships - Age limits

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