The Alpha Male - does he really exist?

Billy86

ArchXStanton wrote: »

On introducing the date To a friend that happened to be out that night and a brief conversation with him,I made some remark to her about him being a bit of a waffler to which she replied that's the type of fella she likes ,confident,outgoing that can put her in her place so to speak...

I got the impression it was more said to gauge my reaction

In my mind all I was hearing was that Marilyn Monroe quote...

How was the date going to that point? Because if it was going well, she may have been trying to give you some advise that might come in useful at a later stage.

No real way to tell of course without any context or having been there, but that's the exact kind of comment that used to send me into an instant crisis of confidence which I now have fun with. I mean she was outnumbered 2-to-1 with you and your mate there and her on her own, it just sounds like something someone would say if they were feeling comfortable in the company of those they were with. Comments like that pretty much just trigger something in my brain these days that says "she's telling you you're doing well, keep it up!" and usually leads to back and forth teasing that really cracks any remaining ice wide open. Personally I usually love to hear those kinds of comments early on, because I'd often be cautious to throw the first one out there myself.

EDIT:

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Oh there was no second date with this one,even though she tried contacting me since...later on in a take away she started roaring and screeching at the take away staff,that's a big no no for me...funnily enough I ran into the same friend the next day whose actually one of my best friends and not an acquaitance that just happened to be out that night as the date thought,first words he says to me are yer wan looked a right p!ssy,sour cnut you were with last night

Yeah never mind, automatic deal breaker here too.

ArchXStanton

Billy86 wrote: »

How was the date going to that point? Because if it was going well, she may have been trying to give you some advise that might come in useful at a later stage.

Hard to tell of course without any context or having been there, but that's the exact kind of comment that used to send me into an instant crisis of confidence which I now have fun with. I mean she was outnumbered 2-to-1 with you and your mate there and her on her own, it just sounds like something someone would say if they were feeling comfortable in the company of those they were with.

Sh!te if I'm being honest,there was a few major red flags for me from the start,you know the way a date is supposed to be about making a good impression? Yeah well,think she was one of those girls who thought I can act anyway I like but that's going to be your problem to deal with...Buster,looking back she was a bit vile,the mate didn't hang around only came over for a chat,I won't touch off the rest of the night as it was a disaster,but like I said in a previous post it actually hurts your intelligence having to try drop down to that level,it's a bit like a child testing their parents to see what they can get away with

Billy86

ArchXStanton wrote: »

Sh!te if I'm being honest,there was a few major red flags for me from the start,you know the way a date is supposed to be about making a good impression? Yeah well,think she was one of those girls who thought I can act anyway I like but that's going to be your problem to deal with...Buster,looking back she was a bit vile,the mate didn't hang around only came over for a chat,I won't touch off the rest of the night as it was a disaster,but like I said in a previous post it actually hurts your intelligence having to try drop down to that level,it's a bit like a child testing their parents to see what they can get away with

You beat me to my ninja edit. The chipper incident would be an immediate end to it for me on a 1st/2nd type date. Between that and your post 3-4 further up, I'd have probably called it a night long before the chipper.

ArchXStanton

Billy86 wrote: »

You beat me to my ninja edit. The chipper incident would be an immediate end to it for me on a 1st/2nd type date. Between that and your post 3-4 further up, I'd have probably called it a night long before the chipper.

I shoulda been gone after 5 mins in hindsight , pretended I was going to the toilet,you live and learn...but these things do give an insight

Hector Bellend

Every millionaire with a 10 inch dick is an alpha male

Aongus Von Bismarck

I'm not sure what all the qualifications are to categorise yourself as an alpha male, but I'd have absolutely no hesitancy in saying I'm a natural leader amongst men. I'm tall, broad of shoulder, in pretty incredible shape, and have an air of knowledge, authority, and gravitas that makes other respect me. Some may even fear me. And I don't want to sound big-headed, but I'm a magnet for the opposite sex. Men want to be me, and women want to be with me.

Now not everyone can have my natural advantages, but there are things one can do to improve the sometimes extremely limited hand they've been dealt in life. This is probably even truer on a site like this to be honest.

1) Dress appropriately. A hoodie, tatty jeans, and a pair of 'cons' isn't a good look for a man past about the age of 22, if ever. Find out fits and colours that make the most of what you have.

2) Become culturally aware. Develop interests in current affairs, literature, music that isn't techno or metal, the culinary arts, philosophy and so forth. Playing computer games and arguing on the internet aren't attractive hobbies.

3) Grooming. That pubic-style beard hanging off the end of your soft chin? Get rid of it, because it almost certainly doesn't suit you.

4) Exercise. Team sports are best, but if you aren't able to do them for a particular reason, then go to the gym, swim, cycle, or take up running. Watching Conor McGregor fight doesn't count as partaking in sport.

5) Don't use alcohol for 'Dutch courage'. There's few things less attractive than some red-faced Irishman approaching a woman, stinking of beer, and looking like a zombie from a George Romero movie. A number of paramours of mine have told me that cheesy chat-up lines don't work either.

I could go on for another while, but what I've given above is a good starting point for most of you.

21Savage

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I'm not sure what all the qualifications are to categorise yourself as an alpha male, but I'd have absolutely no hesitancy in saying I'm a natural leader amongst men. I'm tall, broad of shoulder, in pretty incredible shape, and have an air of knowledge, authority, and gravitas that makes other respect me. Some may even fear me. And I don't want to sound big-headed, but I'm a magnet for the opposite sex. Men want to be me, and women want to be with me.

1) Dress appropriately. A hoodie, tatty jeans, and a pair of 'cons' isn't a good look for a man past about the age of 22, if ever. Find out fits and colours that make the most of what you have..

If you can't look good in a well fitted t, some nice ripped jeans and some yeezys, you're pm not attractive.

Junkyard Tom

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Y0I91rubg

Billy86

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

2) Become culturally aware. Develop interests in current affairs, literature, music that isn't techno or metal, the culinary arts, philosophy and so forth. Playing computer games and arguing on the internet aren't attractive hobbies.

I see you've been back at your DMX collection to go with a fine red, Gussy. May we forever be blessed with your fine tastes.

Aongus Von Bismarck

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I'm not sure what all the qualifications are to categorise yourself as an alpha male, but I'd have absolutely no hesitancy in saying I'm a natural leader amongst men. I'm tall, broad of shoulder, in pretty incredible shape, and have an air of knowledge, authority, and gravitas that makes other respect me. Some may even fear me. And I don't want to sound big-headed, but I'm a magnet for the opposite sex. Men want to be me, and women want to be with me.

Now not everyone can have my natural advantages, but there are things one can do to improve the sometimes extremely limited hand they've been dealt in life. This is probably even truer on a site like this to be honest.

1) Dress appropriately. A hoodie, tatty jeans, and a pair of 'cons' isn't a good look for a man past about the age of 22, if ever. Find out fits and colours that make the most of what you have.

2) Become culturally aware. Develop interests in current affairs, literature, music that isn't techno or metal, the culinary arts, philosophy and so forth. Playing computer games and arguing on the internet aren't attractive hobbies.

3) Grooming. That pubic-style beard hanging off the end of your soft chin? Get rid of it, because it almost certainly doesn't suit you.

4) Exercise. Team sports are best, but if you aren't able to do them for a particular reason, then go to the gym, swim, cycle, or take up running. Watching Conor McGregor fight doesn't count as partaking in sport.

5) Don't use alcohol for 'Dutch courage'. There's few things less attractive than some red-faced Irishman approaching a woman, stinking of beer, and looking like a zombie from a George Romero movie. A number of paramours of mine have told me that cheesy chat-up lines don't work either.

I could go on for another while, but what I've given above is a good starting point for most of you.

Good points, there is no reason for the vast majority of men to dress badly or to be overweight.

21Savage

Deleted User wrote: »

Good points, there is no reason for the vast majority of men to dress badly or to be overweight.

Staying fit and dressing well does not make a handsome man. If anything, not being handsome is enough vindication to not be bothered with either especially dressing well. Why abstain from the joys of gorging on pizza, nuggets and video games just on the off chance you might snag yourself some broad who is just settling for you and you're not attracted to.

21Savage

21Savage wrote: »

Staying fit and dressing well does not make a handsome man. If anything, not being handsome is enough vindication to not be bothered with either especially dressing well. Why abstain from the joys of gorging on pizza, nuggets and video games just on the off chance you might snag yourself some broad who is just settling for you and you're not attracted to.

Each to their own, if pizza etc is your path to fulfilment then go for it.

wakka12

21Savage wrote: »

Staying fit and dressing well does not make a handsome man. If anything, not being handsome is enough vindication to not be bothered with either especially dressing well. Why abstain from the joys of gorging on pizza, nuggets and video games just on the off chance you might snag yourself some broad who is just settling for you and you're not attracted to.

Well even if you're not handsome it still feels good to look the best you can, imo. If you dress well and stay in good shape and are well groomed people usually still say nice things about that even if you're not handsome, which is nice for confidence too
If a guy who's not handsome got a nice haircut and in shape and in a nice suit for a ball or event or whatever people will say he looks lovely ..if he's fat and grimy looking and badly groomed people won't say those things.
So whatever ya want, no it won't make ladies be attracted to you but it still has advantages
And anyway, its healthy. Good for mental health too, I think.

pitifulgod

21Savage wrote: »

Staying fit and dressing well does not make a handsome man. If anything, not being handsome is enough vindication to not be bothered with either especially dressing well. Why abstain from the joys of gorging on pizza, nuggets and video games just on the off chance you might snag yourself some broad who is just settling for you and you're not attracted to.

I think Alpha male stuff is nonsense that people subscribe to. Fitness, healthy eating etc on the other hand are highly beneficial to your mental health and physical health. I enjoy pizza still but being healthy takes precedence over binge eating on crap.

21Savage

pitifulgod wrote: »

I think Alpha male stuff is nonsense that people subscribe to. Fitness, healthy eating etc on the other hand are highly beneficial to your mental health and physical health. I enjoy pizza still but being healthy takes precedence over binge eating on crap.

Been there done that. Einstein said something about the definition of insanity and expecting different results. I've been ghosted, swerved, dodged and dived one too many times.

hatrickpatrick

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Every millionaire with a 10 inch dick is an alpha male

Unless he can charm people instantly without them knowing that information, and be fairly sure of success when he randomly says hi to a woman at the bar, then no, he isn't.

Being alpha is essentially being about being able to make that incredible first impression routinely rather than just every so often out of luck. Things which you'd only find out about after a while don't really count towards someone's "alpha" personality since an alpha would already have charmed you long before you acquired that information.

A better analogy would be, an alpha is a broke janitor with a micropenis who still manages to get a phone number within twenty minutes of introducing himself to somebody, provided of course he doesn't tell them either of those things

conorhal

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I'm not sure what all the qualifications are to categorise yourself as an alpha male, but I'd have absolutely no hesitancy in saying I'm a natural leader amongst men. I'm tall, broad of shoulder, in pretty incredible shape, and have an air of knowledge, authority, and gravitas that makes other respect me. Some may even fear me. And I don't want to sound big-headed, but I'm a magnet for the opposite sex. Men want to be me, and women want to be with me.

Now not everyone can have my natural advantages, but there are things one can do to improve the sometimes extremely limited hand they've been dealt in life. This is probably even truer on a site like this to be honest.

1) Dress appropriately. A hoodie, tatty jeans, and a pair of 'cons' isn't a good look for a man past about the age of 22, if ever. Find out fits and colours that make the most of what you have.

2) Become culturally aware. Develop interests in current affairs, literature, music that isn't techno or metal, the culinary arts, philosophy and so forth. Playing computer games and arguing on the internet aren't attractive hobbies.

3) Grooming. That pubic-style beard hanging off the end of your soft chin? Get rid of it, because it almost certainly doesn't suit you.

4) Exercise. Team sports are best, but if you aren't able to do them for a particular reason, then go to the gym, swim, cycle, or take up running. Watching Conor McGregor fight doesn't count as partaking in sport.

5) Don't use alcohol for 'Dutch courage'. There's few things less attractive than some red-faced Irishman approaching a woman, stinking of beer, and looking like a zombie from a George Romero movie. A number of paramours of mine have told me that cheesy chat-up lines don't work either.

I could go on for another while, but what I've given above is a good starting point for most of you.

6) And always remember to return your videotapes......

dr.fuzzenstein

The alpha male died with Steve McQueen.

Grayson

Every time I hear someone talking about alpha males as if they'e a real think I think it's some bloke who's got an inferiority complex. It's someone who's trying to make themselves feel better. They're simply people that feel a need to feel that they are somehow better than others.

nigel_wilson

Why again is euthanasia not allowed in our societies. Seriously?

How am I as a 5ft 5in 19yr old male going to ever have a worthy life if success is determined by so many things I can't control?

Now I can understand the plight of Elliot Rodger really well reading this thread.

Don't get me wrong, as animals there will always be natural Alpha, Betas, and Cuckas but honestly if you recognise your in the latter, is it wrong to speed up Darwins natural selection by taking yourself out of the gene pool?

Grayson

nigel_wilson wrote: »

Why again is euthanasia not allowed in our societies. Seriously?

How am I as a 5ft 5in 19yr old male going to ever have a worthy life if success is determined by so many things I can't control?

Now I can understand the plight of Elliot Rodger really well reading this thread.

Don't get me wrong, as animals there will always be natural Alpha, Betas, and Cuckas but honestly if you recognise your in the latter, is it wrong to speed up Darwins natural selection by taking yourself out of the gene pool?

There's no such thing as cucks. You need to stop reading those sub reddits.

There's people. Some tall, some short, some large, some small. That's all just adjectives though.

The only thing you are is you.

soiseztomabel

BurnUp78 wrote: »

im struggling to think of many "alphas" that i know personally. One place i can think of though that was full of them was Wrestling in the 90s/early 00s. Scott Steiner, Goldberg, Kevin Nash, HHH, Undertaker, Stone Cold. Big strong intimidating men that oozed charisma and confidence.. I think that's what made wrestling so special then compared to now.

I was onboard up until the part where you said Goldberg has charisma

pitifulgod

nigel_wilson wrote: »

Why again is euthanasia not allowed in our societies. Seriously?

How am I as a 5ft 5in 19yr old male going to ever have a worthy life if success is determined by so many things I can't control?

Now I can understand the plight of Elliot Rodger really well reading this thread.

Don't get me wrong, as animals there will always be natural Alpha, Betas, and Cuckas but honestly if you recognise your in the latter, is it wrong to speed up Darwins natural selection by taking yourself out of the gene pool?

I really hope you're joking... Alpha and beta bull**** is absolute nonsense. It's a complete misunderstanding of evolutionary science. The more we learn, the greater the indication that all personality types etc have evolutionary benefits to society as a whole. Alpha, beta, cuck and all this nonsense is basically adopted as fact when it really isn't. The fact that the likes of Elliot Rogers used it as a justification for his action shows how problematic the logic is.

wakka12

nigel_wilson wrote: »

Why again is euthanasia not allowed in our societies. Seriously?

How am I as a 5ft 5in 19yr old male going to ever have a worthy life if success is determined by so many things I can't control?

Now I can understand the plight of Elliot Rodger really well reading this thread.

Don't get me wrong, as animals there will always be natural Alpha, Betas, and Cuckas but honestly if you recognise your in the latter, is it wrong to speed up Darwins natural selection by taking yourself out of the gene pool?

Yes that sucks. And anyone who says your height isn't a huge disadvantage in life is offensively naive or just trying to wind you up. But theres so much more to life, books music concerts cinema sport food restaurants other cultures countries cities your friends your family animals..a world of amazing knowledge history scenery and theres millions of people who are not shallow and will treat you well and respectfully despite being small..and maybe someday there'll be science breakthrough to allow reopening of growth plates. I just think theres a lot to live for in life by remaining postitive and enjoying all the great things about life without getting depressed about your height.

People throughout other periods of history, not that long ago at all, lived with almost no quality of life..constant hard work just to put food on the table..living in hovels..dying early of diseases ..losing their children or family because there was literally no healthcare..you have a lot of things to be grateful for too you know.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

nigel_wilson wrote: »

Why again is euthanasia not allowed in our societies. Seriously?

How am I as a 5ft 5in 19yr old male going to ever have a worthy life if success is determined by so many things I can't control?

Now I can understand the plight of Elliot Rodger really well reading this thread.

Don't get me wrong, as animals there will always be natural Alpha, Betas, and Cuckas but honestly if you recognise your in the latter, is it wrong to speed up Darwins natural selection by taking yourself out of the gene pool?

Life is not one big long willy wagging competition, regardless of the fact that a minority of obsessive, sad people on the internet are adamant that it is.

Certain factors outside our control make life easier or harder sure, but we're not powerless.

What is success? Having a bunch of gobshítes go "oh my god he's so alpha"? Having some dead eyed craythur with a pretty face and daddy issues on your arm?

What do you *actually* want from life? Not because you think you're supposed to want it or because you think it'd be impressive?

You are 19 years old, you have so much ahead of you. I scooted through your post history there and you seem like an intelligent guy. Don't get sucked into that horseshít. Sorry that probably sounds so condescending.

I know for myself that probably the single biggest decision I made that made the biggest impact on my happiness was to stop comparing myself to other people and worrying about the opinions of people who I actually, when I thought about it, didn't care about.

conorhal

Stella Stocky Watt wrote: »

Life is not one big long willy wagging competition, regardless of the fact that a minority of obsessive, sad people on the internet are adamant that it is.

Certain factors outside our control make life easier or harder sure, but we're not powerless.

What is success? Having a bunch of gobshítes go "oh my god he's so alpha"? Having some dead eyed craythur with a pretty face and daddy issues on your arm?

What do you *actually* want from life? Not because you think you're supposed to want it or because you think it'd be impressive?

You are 19 years old, you have so much ahead of you. I scooted through your post history there and you seem like an intelligent guy. Don't get sucked into that horseshít. Sorry that probably sounds so condescending.

I know for myself that probably the single biggest decision I made that made the biggest impact on my happiness was to stop comparing myself to other people and worrying about the opinions of people who I actually, when I thought about it, didn't care about.

I think there seems to be some 'confusion' here about what constitutes and alpha male or female for that matter. Primarily from assumptions conflating buzzwords like 'toxic masculinity' and a general denigration of masculine characteristics. There seems to be an assumption that 'alpha male' means muscle bound dude-bro who always seems to be the loudest voice in the room.
Really what we are talking about here are type 1 personalities, highly driven and motivated individuals that have effective social skills and as a consequence often end up in leadership positions. In that context Mahatma Gandhi is every bit as much an alpha male as Julius Caesar.

_Dara_

Agricola wrote: »

In relation to the concept of the alpha, this was a time before status symbols like nice cars, big jobs, body building & gym bunny stuff, yet some boys most certainly displayed "alpha" attributes while the majority didnt. That was usually in the form of taking control of the flow of conversation in a group and everyone acknowledging a leader of sorts. Often it was a boy who excelled at sport and was a natural leader on the field amongst his peers. It certainly seemed to extend to prowess with females and an abundance of self confidence in their presence.

Yeah but a lot of it is still circumstantial. In fifth and sixth class there was an "alpha" boy in my class. Absolutely dominated proceedings. Was loud, rude and obnoxious. But he was the king bee, no doubt. Come secondary school and the influx from all local primary schools around and he tumbled down the pecking order. The general perception was that he was faintly ridiculous. Was quite funny to see him constantly kissing the arse of the popular kids. And it never got him back to the top of the heap where he wanted to be.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

conorhal wrote: »

I think there seems to be some 'confusion' here about what constitutes and alpha male or female for that matter. Primarily from assumptions conflating buzzwords like 'toxic masculinity' and a general denigration of masculine characteristics. There seems to be an assumption that 'alpha male' means muscle bound dude-bro who always seems to be the loudest voice in the room.
Really what we are talking about here are type 1 personalities, highly driven and motivated individuals that have effective social skills and as a consequence often end up in leadership positions. In that context Mahatma Gandhi is every bit as much an alpha male as Julius Caesar.

What's that got to do with my post?

The internet subculture and community that buys the most into the terminology is toxic, and the absolute worst place for someone who's talking about suicide because of their height.

This thread must have ten people who've popped up and gone "actually, what an alpha is is..." and all had different definitions. The whole thing is just pointless nonsense at that stage.

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