Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered drug user

edanto

What do you make of the Rat Park theory?

http://www.brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park

To someone that has been through your experiences, is it a good plausible theory that could somehow influence the health system, and if so, how?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Gardabot1 wrote: »

How was your relationship with Gardai at the height of your addictions?

Did you get treatment before, in or after prison?

What was the most you've spent on drugs in a day?

Did you inject in place unimaginable?

I have never been in prison. In fact I have no criminal record. Sometimes I would be arrested while buying drugs but was usually just to have words with me as they could see I did not fit in with my surroundings. So.my relationship was okay with Gardai I would say.

I spent a few weeks in a residential treatment cenntre and used the day I got out.

I finally got clean through a 12 step program.

Mainly injected arms , hands and feet. Cocaine destroyed my veins so towards the end it might take me half an hour to get a vein. It was all self taught so I was very lucky to not hit an artery or die.

The most I have spent on drugs in a day jesus, I dont know on average a few hundred a day... crack cocaine was very expensive when I was using it could spend a grand in an afternoon.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

edanto wrote: »

What do you make of the Rat Park theory?

http://www.brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park

To someone that has been through your experiences, is it a good plausible theory that could somehow influence the health system, and if so, how?

I saw a program on that before and could relate to it. If I had the ability to feel good in myself as a boy I would not have needed a substance to make myself feel better every day.

Everything was about winning and results no joy in taking part in activities, so if you were sluggish at sport or not picked and you are sensitive it fuelled the bad vibes inside me.

The health system is completely backward in my opinion, this guy is on drugs, give him more drugs.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

dartboardio wrote: »

Was your self esteem quite low when you'd go to work and know your secret? Is your family now suspicious of you as a liar- drug user or are they delighted your back on track and fully trust in you to never go down that road again?

I always had low self esteem drugs covered that. I always had a feeling I was going to get caught out, that the house of cards was going to fall. That this person might talk to that person etc. No Fun. But all necessary.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

KenjiOdo wrote: »

Care to delve a little deeper?

Let me think about it. :-)

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

How much were you spending every week on your habit?

Lots. But I had a never ending supply to ill gotten gains. So I never had to shop lift , or do burglaries.

Gardabot1

My god, I gasped at what you use to spend a day! Very insightful thanks again!

Have you ever had problems sourcing drugs because of how you looked?

Would dealers have left you run up a big "tick" bill or was it always cash?

Will you always consider yourself an addict?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

miezekatze wrote: »

What made you decide to stop taking drugs at the time?

I had tried everything to try and get clean as I knew I had a good life and the lies were growing bigger and bigger. I was broken inside, hard to explain, physically I needed the drugs to function but my whole being on the inside was broken.

I had tried for so long and read so many books on recovery that all the sayings began to make sense.

I used for the last time and did not have the where with all to get more, I could not physically arrange it or move , a very surreal experience. I did cold turkey in a bedroom.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Gardabot1 wrote: »

My god, I gasped at what you use to spend a day! Very insightful thanks again!

Have you ever had problems sourcing drugs because of how you looked?

Would dealers have left you run up a big "tick" bill or was it always cash?

Will you always consider yourself an addict?

Often had problems on the streets of dublin , "you are a guard", or "show me your labour card"

But a quick glance as I lifted my shirt arm would quelle any doubts.

Some dealers I owed thousands to. In fact I went to treatment centre for a few weeks to abscond. I still owe money to some.

I will always be an addict, that will never change. I can never have that first drink or spliff , I need to be always honest with doctors. Always opt for local anaesthetic over general. My body does not care if the drug is prescribed or not..

Gardabot1

Are professionals taken aback by your honesty re your past?

Did any professionals treat you differently after you seeked help for you addictions?

Were most or all of your dealers addicts themselves or just money hungry. (in your opinion)

If I was to seek help tomorrow for any drug addictions how would you advise me to do it?

tayto lover

What drug did you start on and at what age?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Gardabot1 wrote: »

Are professionals taken aback by your honesty re your past?

Did any professionals treat you differently after you seeked help for you addictions?

Were most or all of your dealers addicts themselves or just money hungry. (in your opinion)

If I was to seek help tomorrow for any drug addictions how would you advise me to do it?

I think recovery hinges on honesty. I have a wife and some kids now who have never seen me use. For their sake I need to be honest at least. Doctors always welcome the honesty, how they feel about it ? I genuinely do not care, they have a job to do.

It amazes me though even after long relationships with doctors they still try and give me tablets teling me "they are not addictive"

In my experience Doctors have very little experience on how to handle addiction. If I was not on my game numerous times they could easily convince me to take something.

Some dealers money hungry others just trying to raise kids with their backs to the wall, others addicits, some generations of addicts. It differs.

If I was to help someone get clean, I would say find someone right now and be 100% honest with them. Ring them every hour of the day, and do the opposite to what your head tells you. Worked for me :-)

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

tayto lover wrote: »

What drug did you start on and at what age?

Hash and and alcohol aged 12

tara83

Very interesting thread. Did you ever OD? And if so did it have any effect on you like slowing down?

helimachoptor

Fair play op, this is a great AMA, credit to you for getting clean.

You mentioned a gateway drug, assume this was hash, how did you progress from that to coke/heroin?

Also (appreciate if you dont want to answer this) how would you feel down the road if your kid(s) were smoking hash or you found a wrap?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

tara83 wrote: »

Very interesting thread. Did you ever OD? And if so did it have any effect on you like slowing down?

I never oversosed which still surprises me. Because I injected on my own 98 per cent of the time. So if I hit the deck so to speak, I would have died.

tayto lover

Why do you think hash is a very dangerous drug?
Many young people see it as pretty harmless especially as it has been legalized for medical purposes.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

helimachoptor wrote: »

Fair play op, this is a great AMA, credit to you for getting clean.

You mentioned a gateway drug, assume this was hash, how did you progress from that to coke/heroin?

Also (appreciate if you dont want to answer this) how would you feel down the road if your kid(s) were smoking hash or you found a wrap?

Thank you. I am not sure about gateway drugs for me. If it wasn't drugs it would be over eating or something else. I believe I have some sort of a dis ease inside myself.

I will be very honest with my kids when the time comes
, that it is in their genes and that if they drink chances are they will end up in a bad way. After that, they are on their own journey I guess.

I loved the nightlife clubs, ecstasy, coke, never wanted the party to end, never wanted to go home, early houses etc etc... Then I needed to stop that carry on, but could not sit with myself.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

tayto lover wrote: »

Why do you think hash is a very dangerous drug?
Many young people see it as pretty harmless especially as it has been legalized for medical purposes.

Just my opinion, hash caused more long term damage to me than any other drug. When I was a kid I thought it was harmless too.

I have seen miracles being worked in the medicinal field. Maybe if they take out all aldulterants and the crap they mix it with it then the pure stuff might be beneficial. In fact I know it is. But five spots in the 90's were different.

Gardabot1

Any visible health problems?

How long did "cold turkey" "cluckin" last for you?

How long after you became clean did your life get better?

What do you think of the medadone program?

Sleeper12

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA wrote:

Yea it is great, everything you hear about, doesn't last long though, it is very possible to function, I did for many years, after a while though for me the feeling of heaven left, and it turned very mundane.

My own opinion is that all the eduction on drugs makes the mistake of showing the misery & only the misery. When people then do try it they say, hey this is great, they think they've lied to me all these years. They then tend not to believe any of the anti drugs stuff.
Do you believe this to be true or did you experience it like that?


Oh & congratulations on staying clean

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Gardabot1 wrote: »

Any visible health problems?

How long did "cold turkey" "cluckin" last for you?

How long after you became clean did your life get better?

What do you think of the medadone program?

No visible health problems at all. Only ine needle scar from the very last time I used , sort of poetic.

Cold Turkey was horrible, didnt sleep for 20 odd days, never want to experience it again. I thought I woukd never get better, I thought my life was over , but I slowly got better and other people saw it in me when I could not see it in myself.

my experience of the methadone program was not good. I was signed over to the hse to get in a methadone program, I was sick of needles. I arrived to clinic close to death gave a urine, arms covered in holes.

The doctor said he needed more proof I was a heroin addict and I would need to give another two dirty urines, I was heart broken. So to go off and use and come back in three days. I still think about it, someone clearly asking for help and being told to carry on... shocking.

Methadone is alot harder to come off, and a good money spinner for the companies dare I say it. All my opinions of course.

I used it on occasion to try and self detox.. I don't think much of it. But some people get by just fine on it. Very hard to come off though...

Huge respect to you OP. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

Can I ask, how you afforded your habit?

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Jake1 wrote: »

Huge respect to you OP. Good luck on the rest of your journey.

Can I ask, how you afforded your habit?

Thank you. I had a close to six figure salary and I was involved in white collar crime.

These days I wonder how people afford cigarettes never mind cocaine addictions. Life has changed.

Only best wishes to you and your family for the future OP.

Now a question:

You say you're from an affluent area. Could you open our eyes a little to so called middle class drug use in Ireland right now. Just what sort of % of people in schools, colleges and working life (within your own circle) are regularly using drugs?

What's the drug of choice for middle class users?

Is it a difficult world to leave behind?

Thanks OP.

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Deleted User wrote: »

Only best wishes to you and your family for the future OP.

Now a question:

You say you're from an affluent area. Could you open our eyes a little to so called middle class drug use in Ireland right now. Just what sort of % of people in schools, colleges and working life (within your own circle) are regularly using drugs?

What's the drug of choice for middle class users?

Is it a difficult world to leave behind?

Thanks OP.

To.be honest I am out of the loop the last while, kept my head down raised kids . I know coke was huge, and I see lots of people in recovery circles come in which gives me an understanding that things are getting worse. Tablets seems to be aright huge problem. Valium, xanax etc. Thanks for the well wishes.

It was very difficult to leave behind as everyone I knew either drank or smoked spliffs. I thought I would be locked in a house for ever. Little did I know life was only beginning..

One more question if I may.

Would you say you are confident in your recovery? or is some part of you still very afraid of going back there?
For example, if a personal tragedy happened in your life now, would you be confident, in your abilty to cope without drugs?

I ask, because Im a recovering alcoholic myself, and even though Im a long time sober, Im always cautious. I always worry, that in a biin k of an eye, I could start again, you know?
Having said that, I have been through some very tough times, and I did manage to get through them without falling off the wagon

Gardabot1

Would some or all of your dealers have been Irish?

Did you ever have to do anything for dealers, move products, attack people etc etc?

Have you ever been scammed buying drugs?
(Make up as heroin, teedax granulars as coke)

I'm a recovered drug user, AMA

Jake1 wrote: »

One more question if I may.

Would you say you are confident in your recovery? or is some part of you still very afraid of going back there?
For example, if a personal tragedy happened in your life now, would you be confident, in your abilty to cope without drugs?

I ask, because Im a recovering alcoholic myself, and even though Im a long time sober, Im always cautious. I always worry, that in a biin k of an eye, I could start again, you know?
Having said that, I have been through some very tough times, and I did manage to get through them without falling off the wagon

I am confident I suppose, I have lost people in recovery. Lots of reservations that I had, have happened. That fear is not there ,but I have been vigilant with a 12 step programme every day for years now. First while I was terrified of going back there, but I grew stronger. I am certainly not cocky though as I know how sneaky the monkey can be.

You get what you put in I guess. Well done on stating sober.

Sinister Kid

Did you start using intravenously straight away or did you start off by smoking?
How long were you using for?
You speak of recovery, I'm assuming these are meetings? How often do you go to them?
What was your friends & family's reaction when you came clean to them?


Well done on your recovery, I admire your strength.