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My beautiful racist girlfriend

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    #92
    Colser
    Registered Users Posts: 5,572 ✭✭✭Colser


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    My wife has an, in my opinion, irrational fear/dislike of ........... well it doesn't matter what it is she dislikes, it's irrelevant ......... the question is, should I divorce her?

    If it's dogs I'd say you should..


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    #93
    Passtheremote
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭Passtheremote


    She's your girlfriend and you've just figured out she's racist?

    I recently dated a girl and it came out at about date 2. We never made it to date 4. I did do a date 3 to be sure of what she was, drink etc involved, and all I remember was I'm not a racist but.... *insert racist comment*.


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    #94
    Ulysses Gaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,570 ✭✭✭Ulysses Gaze


    HenryHill wrote: »
    My girlfriend has views like this about Africans and I don't blame her to be honest.

    Whatever happened to judging someone by the content of their character?


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    #95
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    Passtheremote wrote: »
    She's your girlfriend and you've just figured out she's racist?

    I recently dated a girl and it came out at about date 2. We never made it to date 4. I did do a date 3 to see if I could get a blowie before breaking up with her and all I remember was I'm not a racist but.... *insert racist comment*.

    FYP!


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    #96
    Passtheremote
    Registered Users Posts: 32 ✭Passtheremote


    MadDog76 wrote: »
    FYP!

    She turned up with a coldsore!


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    #97
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    Passtheremote wrote: »
    She turned up with a coldsore!

    Forget the racism so, that's reason enough to drop her!!!


    Unless anal was on the menu .......... ;)


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    #98
    Cianos
    Registered Users Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Cianos


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Can a person be a good person and have a prejudice?

    I think they can, plenty of people I grew up with were racist or homophobic, it was simply the norm 20 years ago. I wouldn't share their views but it wouldn't make me write them off as people either.

    That's very different. Times have changed. There was less awareness or having to directly deal with the topic of racism especially in the very homogenous Ireland of 20 years ago.


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    #99
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    deadanonymau5 wrote: »
    Out of curiosity, whats the particular foreign nationality?
    If I say it's the Chinese (it isn't the Chinese), the thread will be inundated with "I'm not a racist but..." <insert justification for being anti Chinese >. It's Saturday evening and I'm sure nobody wants their heads wrecked with that sh1te. So the nationality is irrelevant.

    Hammer89 wrote: »
    Is she liable to start f*cking Fruit Pastilles at some turban-wearing man three rows ahead of you's in the cinema? Is she likely to cause a scene if a non-white man or woman serves you in a restaurant and gets the order wrong? Is she going to drag you along to White Power marches and start buying you jeans with elasticated crotches?

    If it's no to all, which I'm pretty sure it is because to me there's a difference between saying racist stuff and actually acting racist, then don't dump her. It's madness to overlook her qualities
    I already decided the relationship isn't going anywhere I'm just curious about what anyone else would do, or if they've experienced this also. I see your point that it doesn't directly affect me, although if nothing else, I would find it embarrassing to introduce her to people and have them think I'm in any way sympathetic towards her strange views. A bit like dating a scientologist or a hardline evangelical christian.
    Passtheremote wrote: »
    She's your girlfriend and you've just figured out she's racist?

    I recently dated a girl and it came out at about date 2. We never made it to date 4. I did do a date 3 to be sure of what she was, drink etc involved, and all I remember was I'm not a racist but.... *insert racist comment*.
    we have only known one another for about a month. there were a few pungent remarks in the first few weeks but I overlooked them as being offhand and not serious. I also probably didn't want to hear what I was hearing at first.


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    #100
    Grayson
    Registered Users Posts: 16,183 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    I think you need to ask yourself one really, really important question: how is her so-called racism going to affect you and affect the relationship?

    Is she liable to start f*cking Fruit Pastilles at some turban-wearing man three rows ahead of you's in the cinema? Is she likely to cause a scene if a non-white man or woman serves you in a restaurant and gets the order wrong? Is she going to drag you along to White Power marches and start buying you jeans with elasticated crotches?

    If it's no to all, which I'm pretty sure it is because to me there's a difference between saying racist stuff and actually acting racist, then don't dump her. It's madness to overlook her qualities - beauty, intelligence, funny and interesting - and focus on one of her perceived flaws. I say perceived because until you reveal the severity of her remarks, or disclose whether they're said to the people or merely said about them, then it's hard to judge them.

    Don't know about you but I tend to look down on people who are racist. I think they're just stupid. Having an irrational hatred/dislike of a group of people is stupid. I honestly couldn't respect someone like that.

    And at some point I'd have to tell them they're wrong.


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    #101
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Have you challenged her on her views OP?


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    #102
    Special Circumstances
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,569 ✭✭✭Special Circumstances


    Definitely a Palestinian who hates Israelis.
    Or insert-middle-eastern-nationality here who hates Americans.


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    #103
    Ulysses Gaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,570 ✭✭✭Ulysses Gaze


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    If I say it's the Chinese (it isn't the Chinese), the thread will be inundated with "I'm not a racist but..." <insert justification for being anti Chinese >. It's Saturday evening and I'm sure nobody wants their heads wrecked with that sh1te. So the nationality is irrelevant.


    I already decided the relationship isn't going anywhere I'm just curious about what anyone else would do, or if they've experienced this also. I see your point that it doesn't directly affect me, although if nothing else, I would find it embarrassing to introduce her to people and have them think I'm in any way sympathetic towards her strange views. A bit like dating a scientologist or a hardline evangelical christian.

    we have only known one another for about a month. there were a few pungent remarks in the first few weeks but I overlooked them as being offhand and not serious. I also probably didn't want to hear what I was hearing at first.

    What have you said to her about this? You challenged the remarks at all?


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    #104
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Have you challenged her on her views OP?
    Yeah. Had an argument about it. She rang me the next day telling me all her girlfriends said I was out of line criticising her in that way, and that basically, even though I'm wrong shes willing to move on.

    She won't entertain an argument on this topic.


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    #105
    hannible the cannible
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 163 ✭✭hannible the cannible


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    As my oul granny used to say

    'If you cannae take people as you find them you can take yourself and find someone else'

    Ok


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    #106
    FTA69
    Registered Users Posts: 9,252 ✭✭✭FTA69


    Who is it she has the problem with?


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    #107
    Ulysses Gaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,570 ✭✭✭Ulysses Gaze


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    Yeah. Had an argument about it. She rang me the next day telling me all her girlfriends said I was out of line criticising her in that way, and that basically, even though I'm wrong shes willing to move on.

    She won't entertain an argument on this topic.

    Get. Rid. Of


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    #108
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,315 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    If you're not willing to add some real context to the thread OP then one would have to conclude that you're just attention seeking.


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    #109
    stimpson
    Registered Users Posts: 7,819 ✭✭✭stimpson


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    If I say it's the Chinese (it isn't the Chinese), the thread will be inundated with "I'm not a racist but..." <insert justification for being anti Chinese >. It's Saturday evening and I'm sure nobody wants their heads wrecked with that sh1te. So the nationality is irrelevant.

    It's not the Greeks he's after. It's the Chinese.


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    #110
    darkpagandeath
    Closed Accounts Posts: 24,465 ✭✭✭✭darkpagandeath


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »
    That's not really what nationalism is
    I'm not going to get into semantics but if you're characterizing an entire people, be they a nationality or a skin tone, as having identical and uniformly negative characteristics, that's racism
    Or at least, it's ethically and morally equivalent to racism.

    Nationality is not race. You know we have black Irish people now ? I could say a few choice things about some Countries and religions. Nothing to do with race.


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    #111
    Special Circumstances
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,569 ✭✭✭Special Circumstances


    lawred2 wrote: »
    If you're not willing to add some real context to the thread OP then one would have to conclude that you're just attention seeking.

    Still, it was worth it for some of the responses.


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    #112
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    Depends on how good she is in bed, is she fun to be around. Keep ****ing her until the new relationship bliss wears of then dump her.


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    #113
    Cupcake_Crisis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,448 ✭✭✭✭Cupcake_Crisis


    I'd leg it. I find myself massively incompatible with racists so it'd never work out.


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    #114
    bodice ripper
    Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    Special Circumstances wrote: »
    Definitely a Palestinian who hates Israelis.
    Or insert-middle-eastern-nationality here who hates Americans.

    Hardly. It's always OK to hate Americans.


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    #115
    AnGaelach
    Registered Users Posts: 1,533 ✭✭✭AnGaelach


    It depends on the severity really - simple dislike of a group wouldn't bother me. Actually advocating for lynching them or battering them outside night clubs would too far for me.


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    #116
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 13,712 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    lawred2 wrote: »
    If you're not willing to add some real context to the thread OP then one would have to conclude that you're just attention seeking.
    I don't give AF what you conclude to be honest. I'm not sure what more context you want apart from her 'rationale' and the nationality she hates... which frankly, is a way of turning the thread into anti-Nigerian/ Indian/ African/ polish garbage and justifications for racism.

    There is no logical reason to hate an entire nationality and to judge them all of being bad people. So I'm not getting into it. My OP is a request to know about other people's opinions of and experiences of racists in their own lives.


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    #117
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    AnGaelach wrote: »
    It depends on the severity really - simple dislike of a group wouldn't bother me. Actually advocating for lynching them or battering them outside night clubs would too far for me.[/QU

    What group do you dislike?


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    #118
    JayRoc
    Registered Users Posts: 1,603 ✭✭✭JayRoc


    We get it. She's not a racist... but as for them fookin' Nigerians...

    (No, seriously. She hates Nigerians. That may make her prejudiced, but until Nigerians become a "race", she ain't rascist)


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    #119
    mzungu
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,308 Mod ✭✭✭✭mzungu


    A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

    She won't entertain an argument on this topic.

    Link her to this thread...that'll get the argument restarted.


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    #120
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    lawred2 wrote: »
    If you're not willing to add some real context to the thread OP then one would have to conclude that you're just attention seeking.

    Possibly. On the other hand, the whole "is racism per se a relationship ender" isn't a wholly bizarre question.


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    #121
    MadDog76
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,162 ✭✭✭MadDog76


    Alpha_zero wrote: »
    AnGaelach wrote: »
    It depends on the severity really - simple dislike of a group wouldn't bother me. Actually advocating for lynching them or battering them outside night clubs would too far for me.[/QU

    What group do you dislike?

    Does that matter? We all dislike groups of people based on our own personal experiences of dealing with them and how the majority of "them" behave, it's human nature .......... I certainly feel that way about some groups whilst simultaneously recognising that not every single person in that "group" behave exactly the same as the majority.


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