Stupid deli workers, annoying as fucκ

reason vs religion

FTA69 says he'd have got "a clatter" from his maaaam if he were to have had the temerity to have a preference about how he'd like his food. It's entirely understandable, then, that he'd resent others expecting what was deprived of him by the threat of an abusive mother.

OldMrBrennan83

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Beyondgone

"A white roll, butters grand and chuck in two sausages and an egg."

"no, no ketchup thanks and a medium coffee - americano"

Pretty much the extent of every conversation I've ever had in a deli, and I get the same concoction daily.

Have never felt "annoyed" apart from having to wait ages while todays version of the complicated, anal, flowerpot-dipping self important tulip in front of me in the queue lists off their personal allergies, food fetishes and micro-dietary needs while concocting some fragrant multi-ingredient, hand picked baguette-wankery, before they even get started on what Godforsaken Frottachino latte with soya decaf extra horse-spunk drink they would like.

Other than that though, Deli-encounters are usually fine.

OldMrBrennan83

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reason vs religion

Patww79 wrote: »

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Hilarious! It's approaching self-parody.

Wanderer2010

Although some things deli workers do annoy me, I tend to keep on good terms with the people who are making my food on a regular basis. I get wraps and rolls made up regularly from my local deli. Some staff are lovely others not so much but I'm always polite about it as I don't want to be known as "that dcikhead who is fussy over everything". Generally I have a bit of banter with the staff and it works both ways, you can sometimes get generous helpings or an extra sausage here and there if you are nice.

OldMrBrennan83

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__Alex__

FTA69 wrote: »

It's gas how so many people are absolute whingebags like. I worked in bars etc for years and it never ceased to amaze me how some characters can be anal to the point of being ridiculous. Grown adults having actual tantrums, taking offence and losing sleep over the slight thickness difference in a slice of bloody ham or a glove that may have brushed against some chicken. Get f*cking real like. "Oh I'm a paying customer." Big deal, you're buying a sandwich at a petrol station you don't have some exalted status because you've rocked into Spar with four euros.

There is nothing more effete, prissy and pathetic than fussiness about food. Oh boo hop my ham was thick. I'd have gotten a clatter as a young lad if I was crying to my grandparents or my mam about the ham or the length of a sausage or some other non-issue.

Exactly. To quote Roz from Frasier when Niles was being particularly prissy: "Oh shut up, you big doily."

reason vs religion

Patww79 wrote: »

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You are the parody!

OldMrBrennan83

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reason vs religion

Patww79 wrote: »

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Brilliant!

slovakchick

Commotion Ocean wrote: »

When I ask for a white roll, don't just assume want butter and just put a glob on the knife.

Don't look so shocked at me ask me if "I'm sure" when I tell you I want neither butter nor mayonnaise.

Don't cut my roll open with a butter-laden knife after I clearly stated that I don't want butter, thus leaving butter residue in my roll.

When I ask for meat, salad and stuffing, don't jam in the salad and put the meat on top then drizzle the stuffing on top, thus causing it to fall out.

When you cut my roll in half GO ALL THE WAY BASTARDING THROUGH, don't just cut half way thrugh it leaving me to tare the rest.

Dehli?

c montgomery

Hollister11 wrote: »

I was ordering a sandwich once, and I'm a vegetarian so I asked her to change gloves, clean knife and surface ect.

She got the bread, first thing she did was put a slice of ham on the bread. She realised what she did, took the ha. Off and used the same gloves and bread that touched ham to make me the sandwich. ****ing scumbag, I ripped through her and the manager. Refused to go back, until I had a job interview there. (Got the job, and the deli worker quit that week) Goodridance. Serves the idiot right.

Aren't they lucky to have a gent like you on their payroll

Fred Swanson

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893bet

Beyondgone wrote: »

Have never felt "annoyed" apart from having to wait ages while todays version of the complicated, anal, flowerpot-dipping self important tulip in front of me in the queue lists off their personal allergies, food fetishes and micro-dietary needs while concocting some fragrant multi-ingredient, hand picked baguette-wankery, before they even get started on what Godforsaken Frottachino latte with soya decaf extra horse-spunk drink they would like.

Gary Neville? Is that you?

Rothko

reason vs religion wrote: »

I like my ham wafer thin - on the point of breaking up. I find the texture of processed ham quite unpleasant, but significanlty better when thin. It happens also to be quite a lot cheaper, but the reason for the preference is taste. The following is my routine every time I'm at a meat counter.

"Hi, will you cut me some of this ham, please?"

How many slices?

"If you could cut it as thinly as possible and then show me the cut, I'll say then"

Almost every time the person either asks, again, how many slices I want and I have to repeat the previous, or they just get on cutting without acknowledging they've heard me, which really grates, especially considering what happens next:

Over comes the ham, and they say, "That's as thin as I can get it," as if already defensive of their effort. I buy ham at least once a week and I get wafer thin ham each time. So I know that it's far in a way not as thin as it can be cut. (It's not that I'm asking they go to the unexplored outer-reaches of the machine's capabilities.)

Some will insist that it cannot be cut thinner, inspite of my claims that it can and was days before. Or they will say, "Well that's as thin as I can cut it" - the implication being "take it or leave it".

I ask that they try again. [Irritated intake of breath.] Over they go. Big turn of the knob. First slice comes out completely broken up. (I can see they feel vindicated!) A small turn of the knob. And out comes a wafer thin slice of ham! Success!

No one has ever apologised or acknowledged their mistake when they've gone back and been able to cut thinner. I'm polite throughout. But I leave feeling angry and disrespected.


I've probably read a mock dialogue on here before. And I guess I probably thought it was exaggerated for effect to the extent that it was unreliable. But, I promise you, this is my routine. If the scenario differs from the one above, I start to wonder if the world is spinning off its axis or if I'm being served by the future Deli King or something.

I really hope this is satire.

reason vs religion

Suas11 wrote: »

I really hope this is satire.

What might I be satirising?

Mister Vain

God some people are easily annoyed.

Billy86

FTA69 wrote: »

It's gas how so many people are absolute whingebags like. I worked in bars etc for years and it never ceased to amaze me how some characters can be anal to the point of being ridiculous. Grown adults having actual tantrums, taking offence and losing sleep over the slight thickness difference in a slice of bloody ham or a glove that may have brushed against some chicken. Get f*cking real like. "Oh I'm a paying customer." Big deal, you're buying a sandwich at a petrol station you don't have some exalted status because you've rocked into Spar with four euros.

There is nothing more effete, prissy and pathetic than fussiness about food. Oh boo hop my ham was thick. I'd have gotten a clatter as a young lad if I was crying to my grandparents or my mam about the ham or the length of a sausage or some other non-issue.

I worked in a Tesco deli as a teenager, and it's gas how people will lose their reason or just get in a huff at the slightest issue - and ham slices could often be one of the main ones! To be fair if someone wanted it very thin, I'd do one slice and check with them, etc (if it was too thick, it was easy to put them on the pre-sliced stack after all - spares that weren't in a stack we'd usually leave aside for sambos on lunch, had a sound enough manager with that). Most would just check and say it was OK or ask to go a little thinner again, but there would always be someone who would ask for it extra thin, and if it came back 0.1mm more than they wanted would look at you like you'd spat in their face while riding their mother up the arse. Even weirder, when you were trying to explain you could try it thinner again if they wanted they'd get insistent that "no don't worry about it it's fine" and either go off in a huff, or insist on it as was without trying thinner. Bizarre altogether.

Naturally though, they would also be the ones who also did not understand what 'the blade needs sharpening' means if they happened to just come in at the wrong time - cut it extra thin there and you're winding up with crumble. Funny thing is anyone sound who usually wanted theirs extra thin if the blade was blunt, if I tried it and messed up leaving them with crumble I'd price it as Billy Bear roll (something like 20c/100g) to make up for it.

Another popular issue was the rotisserie chickens not being ready for another 20-30 mins, I mean seriously WTF is a 17 year old not named Harry Potter going to be able to do to change that!?

Rothko

reason vs religion wrote: »

What might I be satirising?

People that are overly picky about how their roll in a petrol station is made.

NeonCookies

Billy86 wrote:

Another popular issue was the rotisserie chickens not being ready for another 20-30 mins, I mean seriously WTF is a 17 year old not named Harry Potter going to be able to do to change that!?

This used to drive me mad when I worked on a hot food counter! Quite regularly:

*customer comes up as I'm putting chickens into the oven*
"When will the chickens be ready?"
"About an hour and a half, maybe a bit less"
*shocked stare as though I'm lying, walks away*

I don't have a magic oven!

Or maybe better yet..

*customer walks to to counter*
"Can I have a chicken please?"
"No problem"
*start bagging up a chicken from the counter, customer points at oven*
"No I want one of those fresh ones"
"Oh I'm sorry, they're not quite ready yet"
*shocked stare*

Do you want food poisoning?!!

Everyone should have to spend 6 months in jobs like these just to experience the oddness of humanity!

Cork Lass

Hollister11 wrote: »

I was ordering a sandwich once, and I'm a vegetarian so I asked her to change gloves, clean knife and surface ect.

She got the bread, first thing she did was put a slice of ham on the bread. She realised what she did, took the ha. Off and used the same gloves and bread that touched ham to make me the sandwich. ****ing scumbag, I ripped through her and the manager. Refused to go back, until I had a job interview there. (Got the job, and the deli worker quit that week) Goodridance. Serves the idiot right.

I'd be eternally mortified if I ever treated anyone like this, but to then post it on the internet - I'm actually embarrassed for you.

endacl

Hollister11 wrote: »

I was ordering a sandwich once, and I'm a vegetarian so I asked her to change gloves, clean knife and surface ect.

Weirdo.

Felexicon

reason vs religion wrote:

Faint whiff of misogyny about this post.

Nope j

Shelflife

Hollister11 wrote: »

I was ordering a sandwich once, and I'm a vegetarian so I asked her to change gloves, clean knife and surface ect.

She got the bread, first thing she did was put a slice of ham on the bread. She realised what she did, took the ha. Off and used the same gloves and bread that touched ham to make me the sandwich. ****ing scumbag, I ripped through her and the manager. Refused to go back, until I had a job interview there. (Got the job, and the deli worker quit that week) Goodridance. Serves the idiot right.

Just to clarify, you caused a scene in a shop by ripping through a deli worker who was prob the same age as you and then you ripped through the manager as well .

Then you had a job interview in the same shop with I presume the same manager and he gave you a job ??

Hmmmm !

Filmer Paradise

I use these Delis most days on the way to work.

It's cheap food served by largely underpaid, uninterested & stressed staff.

......and yet we have people on here expecting Haute Cuisine & herds of wild Wildebeste wandering across the plains, getting pissy when they don't have the cullinary experiance of a lifetime.

What do you expect for 2.50?

Unreal.

Fred Swanson

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__Alex__

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

I use these Delis most days on the way to work.

It's cheap food served by largely underpaid, uninterested & stressed staff.

......and yet we have people on here expecting Haute Cuisine & herds of wild Wildebeste wandering across the plains, getting pissy when they don't have the cullinary experiance of a lifetime.

What do you expect for 2.50?

Unreal.

Fred Swanson wrote: »

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Yes, exactly, it's crappy processed food.

I worked in a deli for a summer myself in college. Now, I was really committed to cleanliness and our deli was absolutely spotless. We were incredibly thorough. I still feel proud of that more than ten years later. But honestly, the food wasn't that great. Now, we got in lovely bread rolls from a bakery and fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions etc. every day, but the meats were all processed crap. Absolute shite.

We actually had a nice bunch of regular customers, we were situated near offices. So my job was fairly enjoyable. But the rude customers would make you lose the will to live.

Luggnuts

Love New York Delis

Some clown at the front of the line is sniffling and moping about the amount of mayonaise or butter.....our hero (no pun intended) behind the counter just puts it down to the side and shouts "NEXT".....leaving complaining bitch to his or her devices whilst others pipe up their orders.

Filmer Paradise

__Alex__ wrote: »

Yes, exactly, it's crappy processed food.

I worked in a deli for a summer myself in college. Now, I was really committed to cleanliness and our deli was absolutely spotless. We were incredibly thorough. I still feel proud of that more than ten years later. But honestly, the food wasn't that great. Now, we got in lovely bread rolls from a bakery and fresh tomatoes, peppers, onions etc. every day, but the meats were all processed crap. Absolute shite.

We actually had a nice bunch of regular customers, we were situated near offices. So my job was fairly enjoyable. But the rude customers would make you lose the will to live.

No disrespect at all to you or the many people who work in Delis across the country.

I'd imagine the job would be pure Hell. Dealing with the public can be a minefield for the best of us.

But can you imagine throwing in a 19 year old into it, with no experiance of life & in many cases a very light grip on the language & ways of the locals?

Jesus. The ham guy cracked me up. You can buy this sh1t in packets for very cheap...