Things you have done, that made you wish the ground could immediately swallow you up.

OldNotWIse

bubblypop wrote: »

Fab!
PM me where & how much will ya??

Eeeek me too! And so as not to drag the thread off, this is a humiliation on behalf of another girl that I went to school with. It was our first day in secondary and we were all sitting on the steps in the gym hall, waiting for classes to be announced etc I suppose, and anyway this poor girl got her period but didn't realize. She was sitting on the top step with all on show and everyone was talking about it and she had no idea this had happened. In the end someone had to take her aside and tell her :eek: Even now 20 years on I am cringing thinking about it. I think that story followed her for a long time too, schoolgirls being the catty mean people that they are!

73Cat

73Cat wrote: »

Instead of saying "Lovely, thank you" to the butcher, I said "Love you!".

That's perfectly appropriate when you have his meat in your hand.

5rtytry56

My first leaving cert in 1990 - my results were abominable and deservedly so.

Failing ALL final year Accounting Technician Exams in 1993.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Buckfast W

FizzleSticks wrote:

Went upstairs on a packed Dublin Bus to find only one free seat, beside my ex.

Ah man thats rough I would've went back downstairs.

I went to a comedy gig a good few years ago in Vicar street with my then girlfriend we were sitting at a table where there's four seats and one table. So we're sitting down having a few drinks waiting for the show to start when low and behold who has seats at the same table............ my ex and her boyfriend. Awks lol

Buckfast W

Shannon757 wrote:

Buckfast that happened to you three times? Awks lol

Dam smart phone lol

Renegade Mechanic

Myself and two good freinds went to the Mc Donalds in Clonmel. We all ordered our stuff but mine took longest. They got their orders and went off, I waited for mine. Got it after two minutes and sat down at the table.
"Good grub at last" I said as I tore a savage bite out of my burger, tucked into my chips, and then looked up to see two complete and utter ****ing strangers, a fella and a girl, staring at me, frozen, wide eyed and practically pale, while I stared back with cheeks stuffed like a bloody hamster and some chips hanging out of the awkward grin that had formed....
In my defense, I was focused on my food, and out of the corner of my eye, they looked identical to the ****ers I was with! Ill never, ever forget their expressions..

Oh I didn't live that down for a while....

I said

I remember when the track suit became de rigure back in the day anyways as young spotty teenagers with raging hormones we were in a pals house who happened to have a bugle on him (fairly obvious)this particular day sitting in his kitchen. His mother walks into the kitchen and assumes he is hiding cigarettes in his pocket and she mad a grab for them and ending up grabbing his hard on.The embarrassment for both of them left everyone squirming.

wakka12

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Myself and two good freinds went to the Mc Donalds in Clonmel. We all ordered our stuff but mine took longest. They got their orders and went off, I waited for mine. Got it after two minutes and sat down at the table.
"Good grub at last" I said as I tore a savage bite out of my burger, tucked into my chips, and then looked up to see two complete and utter ****ing strangers, a fella and a girl, staring at me, frozen, wide eyed and practically pale, while I stared back with cheeks stuffed like a bloody hamster and some chips hanging out of the awkward grin that had formed....
In my defense, I was focused on my food, and out of the corner of my eye, they looked identical to the ****ers I was with! Ill never, ever forget their expressions..

Oh I didn't live that down for a while....

Why were they so terrified by somebody sitting down with them..?

Renegade Mechanic

wakka12 wrote: »

Why were they so terrified by somebody sitting down with them..?

I'm by no means intimidating, but I am ugly enough that if I were gay and gave head, it would count as anal... And iirc, I was in full work clothes, big durty two piece overalls with a big durty face and just barged in happily without an ounce of social grace, plonked down the tray and dived into the food like a pig at a through.

I think everything just added up to something that took the poor buggers off guard. My first words after a few seconds, "you're not the people I came here with", probably didn't help, but when I got to my right table we nearly got sick laughing

GreenFolder2

I had just arrived in England and their money is a little odd looking. Anyway, I was tired and tried to pay for my shopping with a Cadbury's Turkish Delight wrapper.

FizzleSticks

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The flying mouse

Not as good as some of the others anyway

Left a restaurant and went over to my car, pressed the forbe, tried the door handles, car still locked, pulling on the doors, tried passengers door, giving out ****, q I see two men in suits just staring me , I was at the wrong car, same colour same make but not mine, oops

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Go on finish the story what did you say to each other?

anewme

Got back to my car, which was parked in a shopping centre car park, to find a clamp on the wheel (big yellow yoke) and a note stuck to the window. I had literally been there five minutes and you had 10 minutes grace. Rang the number and gave out yards and said you better get that guy back around here as I'm only here blah blah...they kept insisting it was not clamped and I kept insisting it was. They said they'd send the guy round. The clamper came around and I gave out to him. He was laughing away and I was getting more and more irate .......then I noticed that there was a big yellow yoke on all the wheels....it was the wheel caliper.....oops.......I tried to explain that I only got the car 2 days earlier but he still asked if my dark brown hair was dyed and I was naturally blonde

Sklarker

Some of the lads in work ran the marathon. I heard some people who didn't pay and didn't have a number where prevented from finishing at the 26 mile mark. So i asked at coffee break with 10 colleagues did anyone see anyone getting 'pulled off' at the 26 mile mark. To howls of laughter i was told eveyone was too tired for that sort of thing.

Spanish Eyes

You know the Andrex Puppy ad?

Well, I was out with work colleagues at some gig or other, and went to the loo, as you do.

BUT, when I exited I had to cross a big bar area to get back to my friends, and of course what happened? Yes, the toilet roll got caught in the back of my jeans and I rocked up to my colleagues and boss with a trail of Andrex from the loo to the table.

Please don't ask how, it happens.

I never noticed.

Best laugh of the night. I didn't care really. Sh!t happens. Oops.

ChippingSodbury

anewme wrote: »

... but he still asked if my dark brown hair was dyed and I was naturally blonde

No, you're just like a Malteaser: brown on the outside, blond on the inside!

JustAThought

eddie rockets - nice comfy couch seats, set of stairs leading up to hard bar seating & pokey seats close to smelly toilet. Put coat & bag on comfy couch seat to hold it & went up to order - came back to find my bag & coat moved to high up hard smelly seated area & two begraggled looking people sitting in 'my seat' at the bottom of the stairs. Gave them my best scarcastic line & then realised he was in a wheelchair with no legs . Mortified.

wakka12

JustAThought wrote: »

eddie rockets - nice comfy couch seats, set of stairs leading up to hard bar seating & pokey seats close to smelly toilet. Put coat & bag on comfy couch seat to hold it & went up to order - came back to find my bag & coat moved to high up hard smelly seated area & two begraggled looking people sitting in 'my seat' at the bottom of the stairs. Gave them my best scarcastic line & then realised he was in a wheelchair with no legs . Mortified.

It was still ****ty of him to just take your place without asking, regardless of his disability lol

I'm a guard, years ago when I was in uniform, I got out of the car to go into some shop or other for a call we had got.
Grand.
Dealt with the call and went back outside to where the car was parked when I went in.
Except I didn't even look!
Just got straight into the first car outside, where my MARKED UNIFORMED CAR, had been, jumped into the passenger seat & stared over at some random civilian, staring at me!!
I just said, ' you're not my driver'
He said ' no'
I got sheepishly out of his car and into the marked patrol car just in front of his.....

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

robarmstrong

Was in my own little world with headphones in when I was sneaking a few sneaky silent farts - all was going well until one of them fell out and realised I had a serious case of the bum trumpets.

Worst bus journey ever.

retro:electro

Not me but my best guy friend. He was upstairs in his bedroom of his family home watching porn with his headphones in. Had it turned up full blast and was loving life until he realised he forgot to plug in the headphones into the headphone jack. It was an awkward return downstairs.

team_actimel

I was working in a office a few years ago and one evening I finished up late and was the last in my section to leave. I was walking past a few seemingly empty desks and I absentmindedly let out a fart - it surprised me with the noise. To my dismay a colleague's head popped out from behind his partition and the shocked face on him. I quickly scurried out the door without saying a thing. I couldn't look him in the eye after that..luckily I was only working there a couple of months.

fixXxer

Love this thread so I'll contribute a few of my own:

Once in a job our team leader sent us an email asking everyone if our keycards worked at the weekend, to make sure we could all get in if we had to do over time. Joking, I replied "The only thing I need this to open is the key to your heart". Of course gob****e here hit Reply All without noticing and sent that to the 60 odd people in the team. The buggers didn't even tell me straight away so I had ages of looking confused while laughter travelled around the office.

In the same job, another team leader came over to say hi and put his hand up for a high 5. He sort of startled me though so instead of doing a proper hi 5 I sort of spasmed and dropped/threw the cup of coffee I was holding at his feet. :-/

lawred2

JustAThought wrote: »

eddie rockets - nice comfy couch seats, set of stairs leading up to hard bar seating & pokey seats close to smelly toilet. Put coat & bag on comfy couch seat to hold it & went up to order - came back to find my bag & coat moved to high up hard smelly seated area & two begraggled looking people sitting in 'my seat' at the bottom of the stairs. Gave them my best scarcastic line & then realised he was in a wheelchair with no legs . Mortified.

having no legs isn't a carte blanche to act the pr!ck

Bandana boy

lawred2 wrote: »

having no legs isn't a carte blanche to act the pr!ck

It kind of is though

lawred2

Bandana boy wrote: »

It kind of is though

nah

Bandana boy

lawred2 wrote: »

nah

if I am every so unlucky as to be in that position, I full intend on being as awkward a pr!ck as possible