Things you have done, that made you wish the ground could immediately swallow you up.

lawred2

Bandana boy wrote: »

if I am every so unlucky as to be in that position, I full intend on being as awkward a pr!ck as possible

lol

silverharp

A while ago now but writing something on a car that was covered in snow, only to realise after that there were people in the car.

Koptain Liverpool

I was over in the states one summer to visit an American girlfriend. I flew in and met her in New York. We stayed a few nights with friends of hers before heading down to DC where her place was.

The last night in New York we all went out on a big drinking session. I woke up the next day with a mad hangover and headed straight for the toilet which was up on a mezzaine level via a spiral staircase. Another bedroom up there also.

Had a massive crap to clear out the night before and then flushed the toilet. It didn't go down and I panicked as the water level started to rise up but thankfully it stopped before overflowing and started to go down. I worked at it with the toilet brush a little and then had the brilliant idea of flushing again. :(:(:(:(

Next thing a stream of **** starts pouring out all over the bathroom floor. In my panic i searched the cabinet, found a rubber glove, and stuck my hand in trying to unblock it. But no joy.

At this stage the sewage was out onto the mezzanine and starting to drip down into the level below. I ran into the bedroom of the couple who's place it was and woke the guy up with one hand (with the other glove clad ****ty hand up in the air).

He jumped up and called the janitor but it took 30 minutes more to get it stopped. The place was ruined.

I was understandable mortified even though the guy living there assured me it wasn't my fault and that there had been trouble with the toilet before.

I had several showers and myself and the girlfriend were quickly on our way.

GreenFolder2

I would blame American plumbing on that. They have the most ridiculous high-fill toilet bowls that are always causing problems. They're a syphon system rather than a normal flush, as used in Europe.

Also European toilets are usually designed so if the bowl is blocked, it's large enough to hold all the water from the cistern. Where as if a US toilet high-fill is blocked, the flush will cause it to overflow on the floor.

I have never understood why anyone would want a toilet bowl that fills with water so high. It's just not practical! You have to be really careful not to clog them or you end up with a complete disaster where as in general an Irish / European one would need to be flushed at least twice before you'll cause an actual flood.

Buckfast W

GreenFolder2 wrote: »

I would blame American plumbing on that. They have the most ridiculous high-fill toilet bowls that are always causing problems. They're a syphon system rather than a normal flush, as used in Europe.

Also European toilets are usually designed so if the bowl is blocked, it's large enough to hold all the water from the cistern. Where as if a US toilet high-fill is blocked, the flush will cause it to overflow on the floor.

I have never understood why anyone would want a toilet bowl that fills with water so high. It's just not practical!

Agreed, I dreaded taking my morning glory in the States everyday when I was on holiday. American toilets can't deal with an Irish bowel after a night of drinking and eating.

lawred2

Buckfast W wrote: »

Agreed, I dreaded taking my morning glory in the States everyday when I was on holiday. American toilets can't deal with an Irish bowel after a night of drinking and eating.

Public American toilets also have this weird cubicle design whereby the cubicle walls sit about 18 to 24 inches off the ground..

5rtytry56

Buckfast W wrote: »

American toilets can't deal with an Irish bowel

Full Stop.:pac:

Buckfast W

lawred2 wrote: »

Public American toilets also have this weird cubicle design whereby the cubicle walls sit about 18 to 24 inches off the ground..

And the crack in the door is huge. Never understood them, how would u feel comfortable taking a crap when people can clearly see you.

GreenFolder2

Buckfast W wrote: »

And the crack in the door is huge. Never understood them, how would u feel comfortable taking a crap when people can clearly see you.

I worked in an office in the US where we had low stall walls. You could literally end up having a chat with the boss while doing your business...

valoren

fixxxer wrote: »

Love this thread so I'll contribute a few of my own:

Once in a job our team leader sent us an email asking everyone if our keycards worked at the weekend, to make sure we could all get in if we had to do over time. Joking, I replied "The only thing I need this to open is the key to your heart". Of course gob****e here hit Reply All without noticing and sent that to the 60 odd people in the team. The buggers didn't even tell me straight away so I had ages of looking confused while laughter travelled around the office.

In the same job, another team leader came over to say hi and put his hand up for a high 5. He sort of startled me though so instead of doing a proper hi 5 I sort of spasmed and dropped/threw the cup of coffee I was holding at his feet. :-/

We had a similar one in an IT company.

A company wide email was sent informing people that the companies YouTube channel was launching. Hurrah!

Cue one guy from the London office replying all to circa 3,000 people.

"Hey Gav, now you and Andy can upload vids of yourselves bummin each other!!!!!"

I can only imagine the horror he felt when it dawned on him

lawred2

valoren wrote: »

We had a similar one in an IT company.

A company wide email was sent informing people that the companies YouTube channel was launching. Hurrah!

Cue one guy from the London office replying all to circa 3,000 people.

"Hey Gav, now you and Andy can upload vids of yourselves bumming!!!!!"

I can only imagine the horror he felt

ahahahahahaha

actual laugh out loud moment

Buckfast W

GreenFolder2 wrote:

I worked in an office in the US where we had low stall walls. You could literally end up having a chat with the boss while doing your business...

Shudders..........

GreenFolder2

Buckfast W wrote: »

Shudders..........

For a country that's so terrified of even using the word 'toilet' they have very odd complete lack of any kind of normal modesty requirement in their cubicle designs!

Japan on on the other hand: Office had automatic self-sterilising, pre-heated seats, absolute privacy, nice potpourri, under-seat odour extraction, noise cancelling systems, built-in bidet / drying system and you've TV and reading material on tablet-style display.

And perfectly designed flush systems that never struggle with anything.

The toilet even cleans itself fully after use and mists the area with fragrant essential oils.

Shannon757

GreenFolder2 wrote: »

For a country that's so terrified of even using the word 'toilet' they have very odd complete lack of any kind of normal modesty requirement in their cubicle designs!

Japan on on the other hand: Office had automatic self-sterilising, pre-heated seats, absolute privacy, nice potpourri, under-seat odour extraction, noise cancelling systems, built-in bidet / drying system and you've TV and reading material on tablet-style display.

And perfectly designed flush systems that never struggle with anything.

The toilet even cleans itself fully after use and mists the area with fragrant essential oils.

And I thought the thing in the hospital that gave out paper hand towels when you wave your hand was futuristic.

Hammer89

I know a man in his mid-60s and he was telling me about his brother who had all sorts of mental health issues as a youngster, but it was way back when so nobody really knew what was going on or how to treat him. He got that electroconvulsive therapy, the thing which sends electric currents to your brain or something.

There's one word you absolutely have to avoid when being told something like this, but I just blurted out. "Jesus," I said. "That's shocking." I instantly realised it and I remembered just how hard it is not to laugh at something at inappropriate moments.

Absolutely true.

Hammer89

Double post.

La.de.da

A few years back I was just after starting a new job. Nervous enough and trying to fit in and get on with things.
Anyway one morning after using the loo, I'd some how managed to get a long stream of toilet roll stuck in my knickers.
Que entering the canteen with hundreds of people in and me with a tail of toilet roll hanging out of me. Morto.

I also distinctly remember asking a shopkeeper "how much is it for ten penny jellies" the awkwardness.

pickarooney

Walter H Price wrote: »

a few years ago id say i was 17 18 maybe , going on a weekend away with my girlfriend at the time and heading through Dublin airport security she set off the scanners.

anyway im collecting my stuff after going through the secutity yoke and i look up and my girlfriends getting patted down by a lad and i was like i'm not having this so i storm over doing the whole macho thing and shout at your man "what the fcuk are you playing at you pervert she's supposed to be searched by a woman"

To which to my absolute horror the evidently lesbian (i'm assuming) security gard replied i am a fcuking woman you Pr1ck ... The looks i got from all of the other people at the security thing and my girlfriend were awful one and only time in my life i went absolutely scarlet and was totally lost for words. I think i literally said oh em carry on so or some other drivel , absolute cringe

From a straight woman's point of view is there much of a difference between being searched by a man or a lesbian? Or another straight woman for that matter, I mean it's just a little awkward moment regardless.

Rory28

pickarooney wrote: »

From a straight woman's point of view is there much of a difference between being searched by a man or a lesbian? Or another straight woman for that matter, I mean it's just a little awkward moment regardless.

I have seen videos of TSA officers getting a little "handsy" when frisking attractive women in american airports.

Not sure if they brought in the women search women rule

JohnRock

I was talking about my travel plans to a friend of a friend I just met. He recommended where I should go. He had travelled all over the world. He told me all the places he'd been to. I told him he did more travelling than a knacker. Turns out he's a settled traveller.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

mugsymugsy

Went into supermacs after having a few pints. Ordered my food saw my mates sitting down and no seats free. No problem I thought spare seats over at another table. Went and drunkenly asked ok if I take one of these seats and they looked at me strangely but said ok with a smile. I then went to lift the seat ...yeah you guessed it it was one of those swivel seats nailed into the ground. Cue both this table of random people and my mates table pissing themselves laughing.

5rtytry56

I was drinking stout in 1995 - day before Clare won the Hurling.
Straight afterwards, I went into Burger King in Grafton Street - there was only 1 Burgerking in Grafton Street then. Ordered my meal - paid - then I went down stairs.

Drink fell off my tray on the last step - yet so near but yet so far.

Gobbled my meal up & shuffled upstairs & out of Burgerking.

More than 20 years ago now anyway.:P

smokie72

The most embarrassing thing that happened to me was just a few months ago earlier this year. I was renting out a room of mine to a woman from Colombia. She was smoking hot and we use to have nice long chats, sometimes into the early hours of the morning. But she use to show me pictures on her phone and facebook page about general things in her life like where she lives and worked etc.,

So I thought I would show her some old photos on my computer and it was going grand until she saw a photo of my erect penis that I took several weeks after it had been circumcised. I had totally forgot all about it and god did she have a good laugh when she saw my expression. I never closed a photo as quickly. The earth could have swallowed me there and then. Anyway she saw the funny side of it and now it's time to swiftly move on.

the_pen_turner

i was in a shop a few days ago.
i couldnt park where i always park due to there being cars there, i parks at the side.
i came out of the shop and auto pilot sent me in my usual direction. there was a van that was the same as mine.
i went up to it, pressed the key fob and opened the door. i sat in eating an icecream. key in the ignition and trying to start the engine. owner comes running out screaming. i was like WTF , he thought i was stealing his van, i nearly was if the key worked.
i start defending myself . a bit of argument .
a few people had stoped at the door watching .
then i get out and go to the front to show him the reg only to realise my mistake.
i apologise and went bright red. we laughted but it was really imbaresing

Sweetemotion

the_pen_turner wrote: »

i was in a shop a few days ago.
i couldnt park where i always park due to there being cars there, i parks at the side.
i came out of the shop and auto pilot sent me in my usual direction. there was a van that was the same as mine.
i went up to it, pressed the key fob and opened the door. i sat in eating an icecream. key in the ignition and trying to start the engine. owner comes running out screaming. i was like WTF , he thought i was stealing his van, i nearly was if the key worked.
i start defending myself . a bit of argument .
a few people had stoped at the door watching .
then i get out and go to the front to show him the reg only to realise my mistake.
i apologise and went bright red. we laughted but it was really imbaresing

You just trying to enjoy your ice cream.

mcgrath1992

The flying mouse wrote: »

Not as good as some of the others anyway

Left a restaurant and went over to my car, pressed the forbe, tried the door handles, car still locked, pulling on the doors, tried passengers door, giving out ****, q I see two men in suits just staring me , I was at the wrong car, same colour same make but not mine, oops

same thing happened to me a few weeks ago , i have a blue mark 4 golf and one day i was trying to find a parking spot in town , i just so happened to come across a free spot beside a car exactly like mine , same wind deflectors , same sunroof , same year and everything..anyway decided to grab that spot before someone else did as town was packed , parked up and went for a bite to eat..all was going well so far , filled my belly with a full irish breakfast and decided to head home..walked back to the car distracted on my phone and when i got there noticed it was unlocked , said to myself ''thats strange i thought i locked the door''
i shrugged it off anyway and hopped in to get moving..put the key into the ignition or tried to anyway but nothing happening , thought ''wtf is going on here'' completely oblivious to the fact that i forgot i parked next to an identical car as i was gone for an hour or 2..next thing i know this young chap came out of the butchers and just stared at me..said to myself 'whats he staring at''..he came up to the window eventually and said to me 'what in jaysus are you doing in my car lad?'' i looked at him with an odd look and said ''what you talking about this is my car and has been for the last 2 years''...i then proceeded to get into a 5 minute debate about it with him when he suddenly drops his keys by accident and while he was bent down to pick them up i caught a glimpse behind him and low and behold to my fkn humilation is another blue golf..my blue golf! said to myself ''oh jaysus christ what kind of a eejit am i'' i then got of the car and explained my actions with a beetroot coloured face..after 2 mins he saw the funny side
needless to say i never stepped foot in that town since :pac:

BUBBLES1978

I have literally just sent an email to someone in work and wrote kind retards at the end instead of kind regards...recall recall re ****in call:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Skylinehead

I think I was 14 or 15, decided it'd be great to do a J-turn in a tractor (reverse up the road, spin the vehicle around and drive forward in the same direction). Slightly miscalculated and put the transport box into the neighbours garden wall, effectively demolishing the whole thing. I spent the weekend rebuilding it.

OldNotWIse

Oh my fúcking Lord of all that's holy. I just saved myself some a major catastrophic embarrassment on Boards. I wanted to post a question about the morning after pill and lets say the post was fairly detailed with dates etc.... and rather than start a new thread, I did a search for "morning after" and posted in the most recent thread. Turns out my query was posted in the motor forum where "morning after" actually referred to alcohol still being in a driver's system the "morning after". I quickly deleted it and am wobbling here at the thoughts of what would have happened if I hadn't realized my mistake!