Thoughts on my work plan?

Icaras

Where's the op?
My money is on that they are really a light weight, has had a snifter of vodka and cranberry and is now asleep on the toilet.

I was hoping to get months out of this thread.

OldNotWIse

fin12 wrote: »

I suffer from Anxiety especially around jobs and job interview, I have considered taking a drink to help going into the interview or even maybe the first day of a job but thankfully I never did it because I know drink would never solve anything and the repercussions of someone finding out you have drink on you is a lot worse than me coming across as nervous or incapable in a job interview, I just get through it best I can.

I've always thought that a line of coke would be the perfect thing to do before an interview. Imagine how f*cking great you'd feel as you cartwheel into the interview room. I've only done it twice, (because it was so good I was terrified I'd become addicted) but both times I felt amazing as I blitzed around the city in taxis visiting friends and feeling omnipotent and as if time had slowed. The first time - I went to the pub after work with co-workers, went home and walked the dog, went to a friends for dinner and had a session with another mate in his place after - and it was only 9pm when I got home :P

Something has always stopped me from doing it before an interview but I wonder sometimes if things might have been different.

KERSPLAT!

OP is absolutely bamboozled in work, dishing out such classics like Fairytale of New York, Fields of Athenry, etc

HensVassal

OP is probably stewed now and having a dirty big Doner Kebab for noon lunch

maudgonner

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I've always thought that a line of coke would be the perfect thing to do before an interview. Imagine how f*cking great you'd feel as you cartwheel into the interview room. I've only done it twice, (because it was so good I was terrified I'd become addicted) but both times I felt amazing as I blitzed around the city in taxis visiting friends and feeling omnipotent and as if time had slowed. The first time - I went to the pub after work with co-workers, went home and walked the dog, went to a friends for dinner and had a session with another mate in his place after - and it was only 9pm when I got home :P

Something has always stopped me from doing it before an interview but I wonder sometimes if things might have been different.

Or speed?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwDmg74rhCw

OldNotWIse

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

OP is absolutely bamboozled in work, dishing out such classics like Fairytale of New York, Fields of Athenry, etc

I did that once and played a Christmas cd down the PA system in June

Ashbx

Fred Talbot wrote: »

Appreciate the concern but I'm an experienced drinker so I'm not worried. When you think about it I'll be actually be drinking less since I'll obviously have to stay in control. I get drunk most nights as it is so I'm simply inverting the situation, which may well be better for me in the long run.

Sorry to break it to you OP but if you are getting drunk 5/7 days a week...you are an alcoholic. I hope your post is a joke otherwise its just pathetic! Man up and quit your job if you aren't happy

Baggy Trousers

This is After Hours, not Personal Issues - Give the guy a break, he sounds intelligent enough and a bit tongue-in-cheek.

And we could do with more 'fun' threads...

If he wants to try it, let him off. It will be an interesting experiment.

Fred Talbot

Op here with a quick lunchtime update. Very nearly didn't go through with it this morning but I'm glad I did. Absolutely flying it! Even the dreaded coffee break and the boring inane chat went well. Did a bit of low key flirting with one of the girls in the office which I normally never do. There's been no noticeable degradation of motor skills or cognitive function. I've fooled them all thinking I've turned over a new positive leaf!

Have to head back to the office soon. Will give a proper update this evening. Also, I'm glad to see people are enjoying this thread.

Solomon Pleasant

Can't see this ending well hahahaha

Fred Talbot

HensVassal wrote: »

Did it when I had a summer job as a barman in a country club in the States during college. Was half sozzled most nights on the job for the entire summer. When I got an office job I tried to go back to work after 2 or 3 friday afternoon pints and couldn't stay awake. So it depends on the work. If you don't have to focus, concentrate or use your brain then it's doable. If you have to sit at a desk and read sh1t it's nigh on impossible...at least for me.

Hops in beer have a sedative effect hence the drowsiness. I've done my research and really, vodka is the only realistic option. Barely even drank the stuff before but could well develop a taste for it!

justback83

Ahhhh....this is great! Fantastic thread OP!

Baggy Trousers

Fred Talbot wrote: »

Op here with a quick lunchtime update. Very nearly didn't go through with it this morning but I'm glad I did. Absolutely flying it! Even the dreaded coffee break and the boring inane chat went well. Did a bit of low key flirting with one of the girls in the office which I normally never do. There's been no noticeable degradation of motor skills or cognitive function. I've fooled them all thinking I've turned over a new positive leaf!

Have to head back to the office soon. Will give a proper update this evening. Also, I'm glad to see people are enjoying this thread.

Would you consider upping the "dose" even at this early stage?
Most of the people on here have the attention span of Homer Simpson...oh look a squirrel!

Fred Talbot

HensVassal wrote: »

Did it when I had a summer job as a barman in a country club in the States during college. Was half sozzled most nights on the job for the entire summer. When I got an office job I tried to go back to work after 2 or 3 friday afternoon pints and couldn't stay awake. So it depends on the work. If you don't have to focus, concentrate or use your brain then it's doable. If you have to sit at a desk and read sh1t it's nigh on impossible...at least for me.

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Would you consider upping the "dose" even at this early stage?
Most of the people on here have the attention span of Homer Simpson...oh look a squirrel!

Yes I will gradually up the dose in order to achieve the pleasantly 'buzzed' feeling. I was quite conservative this morning with the medicine. I have an important meeting coming up in two weeks so it will be important to have acclimatized my body to the new regime by then.

Well lads the office beckons. Haven't felt this good during work for a long time. Full update this evening.

CFlat

Fred Talbot wrote: »

Yes I will gradually up the dose in order to achieve the pleasantly 'buzzed' feeling. I was quite conservative this morning with the medicine. I have an important meeting coming up in two weeks so it will be important to have acclimatized my body to the new regime by then.

Well lads the office beckons. Haven't felt this good during work for a long time. Full update this evening.

This has the potential to be a bit like The Truman Show, you know without the cameras. Everyone here 'watching' Fred's work life unfold on a day by day basis. If it gets a following, Boards could sell adverts and you could have a cut Fred, as well as getting half cut.

Icaras

I assume all of us in at the ground floor will become Freds posse.

The big question now is what's Freds days consumption.

lawred2

so how has this gone?

Magico Gonzalez

This only gets good when the OP needs to get a litre of vodka in before achieving the buzz, give it a few months. There will be unplanned pissing in public, crying, awareness issues, continue at it and there may even be a dash of substance abuse of the non-alcohol variety.

Full steam ahead, "experienced drinkers" always stay in control. Always. Remember kids, addiction is cool and you can always turn your life around a few years down the line once you've managed to reduce yourself to a bare minimum of personal relationships, money and career options.

Some people just about deserve themselves.

maudgonner

CFlat wrote: »

This has the potential to be a bit like The Truman Show, you know without the cameras. Everyone here 'watching' Fred's work life unfold on a day by day basis. If it gets a following, Boards could sell adverts and you could have a cut Fred, as well as getting half cut.

There's definitely pay-per-view potential for this important meeting Fred has in two weeks time. I think it will be unmissable, a water-cooler moment.

Breaston Plants

Well Fred, how did ya get on at work today?

Optimalprimerib

I used to listen to music to while away the tedium, then that got tedious. so my guess is , drink will work to a point, but the tedium will return.

Oh and blah blah blah health blah I'm better than you on my high horse, think of the children etc.

Baggy Trousers

maudgonner wrote: »

There's definitely pay-per-view potential for this important meeting Fred has in two weeks time. I think it will be unmissable, a water-cooler moment.

Not really relevant but reminded me of this classic

cowboyBuilder

Subscribed !!

Lady is a tramp

LOL ... as someone who lost everything - family, career, dignity etc - through alcoholism, I feel like I should be somehow offended by this thread, on behalf of us alcos. But nope, I'm just amused. Woohoo, looks like I haven't lost my sense of humour at least!

the evasion_kid

Shoulder poured into a half full contour coke op... Got me through many a day in work

Fred Talbot

Right so day one done and dusted. Got up and stared at the naggin and very nearly chickened out. But I thought of Churchill starting the day with a scotch and soda and manned up and went for it. Mixed about half a naggin into about 400ml of cranberry juice, took a good swig, and trudged into work as usual.

To be honest I felt a bit out of it for the first half hour or so but I held it together and just had a few sips every now and again. It worked! Got a nice mellow buzz and just went with it. Just before the coffee break I thought of something funny and started giggling to myself which got a few looks but so what. Being a bit introverted I normally find the break a bit of a chore since I'm forced to interact with my co-workers but today I breezed it. I'll have to lie to my colleagues and tell them I took up yoga or something to explain my new positive demeanour

Back at the desk and the good vibes continued. At one stage I just walked around the building on the pretense of looking for a file just to enjoy that feeling of having no worries. Unfortunately sobered up a bit after lunch and soon ran dry so the last hour dragged on. May have to top up on the vodka during the lunch break. Don't want to go into work with a naggin in my coat pocket, would make me paranoid.

All in all a pretty good day. Will do the same again tomorrow.

Joe prim

maudgonner wrote: »

Will we run a pool on what the OP does for a living?

My money is on TD.

Probably exclude rocket surgery and brain science.

hairyslug

Does no-one sniff glue or inhale lynx deodorant anymore to pass the day, you could mix it up a bit and try different things each day to pass the time

Rackstar

Fred Talbot wrote: »

Right so day one done and dusted. Got up and stared at the naggin and very nearly chickened out. But I thought of Churchill starting the day with a scotch and soda and manned up and went for it. Mixed about half a naggin into about 400ml of cranberry juice, took a good swig, and trudged into work as usual.

To be honest I felt a bit out of it for the first half hour or so but I held it together and just had a few sips every now and again. It worked! Got a nice mellow buzz and just went with it. Just before the coffee break I thought of something funny and started giggling to myself which got a few looks but so what. Being a bit introverted I normally find the break a bit of a chore since I'm forced to interact with my co-workers but today I breezed it. I'll have to lie to my colleagues and tell them I took up yoga or something to explain my new positive demeanour

Back at the desk and the good vibes continued. At one stage I just walked around the building on the pretense of looking for a file just to enjoy that feeling of having no worries. Unfortunately sobered up a bit after lunch and soon ran dry so the last hour dragged on. May have to top up on the vodka during the lunch break. Don't want to go into work with a naggin in my coat pocket, would make me paranoid.

All in all a pretty good day. Will do the same again tomorrow.

Watch season 10 of Trailer Park Boys, you are Jim Leahy. He uses a breathalyser to ensure he is topped up correctly / nicely buzzed. Look how he turns out.

CFlat

Joe prim wrote: »

Probably exclude rocket surgery and brain science.

I assume you did that on purpose?