Online dating

Mikkl

So stepping down out of the dock now, and swinging the spotlight around, is there anybody who would notice the fb profile of the person they'd arranged to meet in their ''people you may know'' and resist looking?

tomwaterford

Mikkl wrote: »

So stepping down out of the dock now, and swinging the spotlight around, is there anybody who would notice the fb profile of the person they'd arranged to meet in their ''people you may know'' and resist looking?

Me....because like effort of that.....

If anyone googled my name IRL and Waterford it would come up as a relatively successful amatier sports star or else a drug dealer in news reports (neither of which are me)



But I practically don't use Facebook anymore...,used use it to keep in touch with the sisters and her kids but we kept in touch via sbapcaht/FaceTime now......Facebook isn't really used by people my age/I went to school with anymore tbh

Mikkl

well, if you're not on facebook then the necessity to resist the temptation of one quick click isn't there.

tomwaterford

Mikkl wrote: »

well, if you're not on facebook then the necessity to resist the temptation of one quick click isn't there.

Kid....life is too short and I'm too busy tbh to spend it looking up profiles of WANs on Facebook....anything ya want to know ask them??



Sure chances are....you'll be chatting shtie with someone else next week and it'll all be just a blur after a while

Mikkl

tom, life is too short to reprimand me! I was on facebook anyway, I saw both of the men I was/am going to meet and I expended the energy contained in one quick click and then spent about 30 seconds on their pages. I did this at work too so therefore I didn't waste a real unit of time.

On another less pointless point, the book that was recommended by a poster called Microlebia (? apologies) arrived. It looks really good. I can tell I'm a bit avoidant. I'm going to conquer this ****. But, I won't bring the book on the dart in to town and have it sticking out of my bag later.

Mikkl

Tom, I think you missed my post, I definitely wasn't talking ****e with the man I met last night. We had a very honest conversation in fact. Refreshingly so.


Anyway time for a workout followed by yoga then I'll get ready.

cailin.

Anyone else get the 'if it's too good to be true it probably is' complex with certain sites?

As we all know, it's rare to find someone who ticks your boxes, is pleasing on the eye aesthetically and appears sane all at the same time. Been messaging an absolute gem of a guy the last week, so far so good, spoke on the phone and got on great, we just clicked. One day before our coffee date and I'm thinking, is this too good to be true?!

I think that's probably more of a reflection on my experience with OD than it is on him though!

wakka12

cailin. wrote: »

Anyone else get the 'if it's too good to be true it probably is' complex with certain sites?

As we all know, it's rare to find someone who ticks your boxes, is pleasing on the eye aesthetically and appears sane all at the same time. Been messaging an absolute gem of a guy the last week, so far so good, spoke on the phone and got on great, we just clicked. One day before our coffee date and I'm thinking, is this too good to be true?!

I think that's probably more of a reflection on my experience with OD than it is on him though!

Generally yes that holds true! But sometimes we all get lucky..sounds legit..I think Id be happy to start putting my faith in somebody as a potentially good bet after talking on the phone and clicking Hopefully first meeting will be as successful!

Shint0

Deleted User wrote: »

So much thinking. There's a heaviness coming across in your posts.

I'd say Mikkl is quite direct and calls it as she sees it. (I don't like discussing anyone in absentia). I would be very much like that and the same conversation IRL might come across very differently, very animated and lighthearted.

Like they always say communication is 25% verbal and 75% non-verbal which is what's completely missing online. We tend to take things sometimes as they are directly put in front of us. In the same way with online dating a huge amount of emphasis is put on the physical attractiveness initially and people can totally bypass someone that INR might set the pulse racing.

God yeah, you are right, it can get very complicated. Bring back slow sets and everybody's happy

Shint0

Shint0 wrote: »

I'd say Mikkl is quite direct and calls it as she sees it. (I don't like discussing anyone in absentia). I would be very much like that and the same conversation IRL might come across very differently, very animated and lighthearted.

Like they always say communication is 25% verbal and 75% non-verbal which is what's completely missing online. We tend to take things sometimes as they are directly put in front of us. In the same way with online dating a huge amount of emphasis is put on the physical attractiveness initially and people can totally bypass someone that INR might set the pulse racing.

God yeah, you are right, it can get very complicated. Bring back slow sets and everybody's happy

I am very direct myself. In fact I sometimes think it can be off putting when on dates.

My point wasn't regarding the topic of conversation, rather a sense I got of not taking it in her stride and going with the flow a bit more.

Mikkl

I go with the flow! But it doesn't flow uphill. I think my sense of humour has been misunderstood. But in real life it works so I'll plough on regardless.

Also, I seem to be the only one fessing up to going on dates so my modus operandi is the only MO under the spotlight.

Shint0 I don't want to drag ya down and damage your rep on here by saying, yeh, I think you get my wavelength :-p

not heavy but I'm real. And at my age I've no time for any more fake relationships. Done that. I do enjoy the first date though. That's always worth a couple of beers. Meeting somebody new is interesting and I didn't say anything about the man I met last night to suggest that I didn't feel privileged to have had one evening of his company. I hope he meets the person who is right for him. He was as practical as I am real.

I'm happy to pass on the baton though! Somebody else find a date and talk us through it. I'd enjoy reading that myself.

Right, I shhhhhtink, shower now. A guna for this guy I think.

Mikkl

Good luck Cailin! sounds promising. The first date is really the zero-eth date so it can't even seem to good to be true YET but update please!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Well, I had a date tonight - with my oh and he screwed it up of course so basically my ltr stood me up.

Winterlong

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Well, I had a date tonight - with my oh and he screwed it up of course so basically my ltr stood me up.

I hope you are going to make him pay dearly...

Ficheall

Presumably people lie about their age because to increase their chances with someone they'd like to date. If, for example, I were 30 but wanted to date a 20 year old, I might put 25 as my age, get talking, show her how amazing I was, then tell her my true age and she might be surprised but might not care. Without lying about my age, we might not have even had the conversation.
"Age is just a number", sure, but it's also a convenient filter. I live in Galway, and would be happy to date someone amazing in Dublin, but I'm not going to search Dublin profiles because it makes much more sense to search Galway ones. If someone set up their profile saying they were from Galway (because Galway guys are, of course, superior to Dublin guys) and we clicked, it might not mean the end of things if I found out they were from Dublin.

Hombre Lobo

So far I've got two great ideas from this thread for a new dating site if I was ever to make one.

1. If you have no photo uploaded, you can only match or see other people with no photo.
2. You can't see anybody's age. Let their profile and image do the talking.

Augme

Ficheall wrote: »

Presumably people lie about their age because to increase their chances with someone they'd like to date. If, for example, I were 30 but wanted to date a 20 year old, I might put 25 as my age, get talking, show her how amazing I was, then tell her my true age and she might be surprised but might not care. Without lying about my age, we might not have even had the conversation.
"Age is just a number", sure, but it's also a convenient filter. I live in Galway, and would be happy to date someone amazing in Dublin, but I'm not going to search Dublin profiles because it makes much more sense to search Galway ones. If someone set up their profile saying they were from Galway (because Galway guys are, of course, superior to Dublin guys) and we clicked, it might not mean the end of things if I found out they were from Dublin.

I'd be of the opinion that you'd want to be desperate to keep seeing someone who actively tried to deceive you. Talk about a terrible characteristic to have in a potential partner.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Winterlong wrote: »

I hope you are going to make him pay dearly...

Crisis averted he followed original plan. Hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend

Folie a deux

I met a guy online about 2 months ago things are going good and we try to see each other once a week.. We don't think a lot though between dates which is a bit strange for me. We haven't talked since Thursday now but we have arranged a date for next week..

I want to bring up the define the relationship talk but the lack of communication is worrying me Any opinions?

Folie a deux

Folie a deux wrote: »

I met a guy online about 2 months ago things are going good and we try to see each other once a week.. We don't think a lot though between dates which is a bit strange for me. We haven't talked since Thursday now but we have arranged a date for next week..

I want to bring up the define the relationship talk but the lack of communication is worrying me Any opinions?

Hmm. Two months in. You haven't talked since Thursday. I'm not sure.

How is it when you are together?

Witchie

Folie a deux wrote: »

I met a guy online about 2 months ago things are going good and we try to see each other once a week.. We don't think a lot though between dates which is a bit strange for me. We haven't talked since Thursday now but we have arranged a date for next week..

I want to bring up the define the relationship talk but the lack of communication is worrying me Any opinions?

I wouldn't be panicking. Some guys are like that. They just don't do the whole texting and ringing thing. As long as things are good when you are together I would go with the flow for now.

I know my boyfriend loves me but I haven't heard from him since I text him about some bad news I had on Thursday. We talked briefly but he knows am not in the mood for much fun at the moment so he has let me just get on with it. Other times unless I text I wouldn't hear from him, and it was like that a few years ago when we first were going out with each other. I used to freak and put him under pressure to be more interactive, but I have now learned that is just how he is. If I text him he will respond but he very rarely would initiate it.

As I say, try not to freak. Maybe later in the week, message him saying that you are looking forward to his company or just to double check plans and then gague from his response.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Are you in a relationship witchie

Folie a deux

Deleted User wrote: »

Hmm. Two months in. You haven't talked since Thursday. I'm not sure.

How is it when you are together?

Really good, we get on so well. Go out for dinner/drinks/cinema and he always stays over at mine after. I really like him but the whole being in limbo not knowing what he wants is diving me crazy. Think I will have to bite the bullet!

Folie a deux

Folie a deux wrote: »

Really good, we get on so well. Go out for dinner/drinks/cinema and he always stays over at mine after. I really like him but the whole being in limbo not knowing what he wants is diving me crazy. Think I will have to bite the bullet!

Do you think you are both on the same page?

Folie a deux

Witchie wrote: »

I wouldn't be panicking. Some guys are like that. They just don't do the whole texting and ringing thing. As long as things are good when you are together I would go with the flow for now.

I know my boyfriend loves me but I haven't heard from him since I text him about some bad news I had on Thursday. We talked briefly but he knows am not in the mood for much fun at the moment so he has let me just get on with it. Other times unless I text I wouldn't hear from him, and it was like that a few years ago when we first were going out with each other. I used to freak and put him under pressure to be more interactive, but I have now learned that is just how he is. If I text him he will respond but he very rarely would initiate it.

As I say, try not to freak. Maybe later in the week, message him saying that you are looking forward to his company or just to double check plans and then gague from his response.

Ok that makes me feel a lot better. Thinking into things too much on Saturday night. Thank you!

Folie a deux

Deleted User wrote: »

Do you think you are both on the same page?

I think so, I know he isn't the type to be multi dating or whatever. After our first few dates I checked his online dating profile and he hadn't logged in in like 20 days.

Folie a deux

Folie a deux wrote: »

I think so, I know he isn't the type to be multi dating or whatever. After our first few dates I checked his online dating profile and he hadn't logged in in like 20 days.

Just ask him what the craic is

Folie a deux

Deleted User wrote: »

Just ask him what the craic is

Yea I think I will have to. Thanks for the replies!

Witchie

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Are you in a relationship witchie

Yes, my ex and I got back together a few weeks ago. We will see where it goes.

StripedBoxers

I decided to have a mooch on POF recently, have to say, the amount of men who cannot be arsed putting an effort into their profile is shocking.

Aside from the fact only a few of them take time to write anything on their profiles, in proper, readable, legible English. Most are only a few lines, text speech etc. which puts me off for some reason.

It's like they want to make an impression but can't be arsed putting the effort into making that impression.

Having looked on both Tinder and POF, I can safely say online dating just isn't for me.

I was only saying to a friend earlier I seem to have more luck on nights out than anything else, which is ironic given I rarely go out and when I do, I never approach guys, I'm usually with my friends chatting and laughing away.

I never really look for anyone anyway, I'm of the opinion if it happens, it happens, it's just on nights out I seem to meet guys for some reason and I don't even try. I don't mean that in a boastful way or anything just seems to be my luck.

I met my ex through his previous job, on a night out a few months ago I came home home with a couple of numbers, first time that ever happened.

I think I prefer meeting chaps in real life too, because you can see them and their personality in reality, rather than through a mobile/website and I find that with online dating who you are talking to, although it may seem like you "click", when you meet them in reality, there's something missing, you don't like etc. and I dunno, it seems more romantic to meet in real life.

Call me old fashioned but meeting in real life is most definitely for me, online dating isn't