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Online dating

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    #3812
    jimbobaloobob
    Registered Users Posts: 5,153 ✭✭✭jimbobaloobob


    There's be lots of POF babies made if Ireland keep winning in the soccer :)


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    #3813
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,567 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Mikkl wrote: »
    It even says something about needing a hard hat to date an entj, and that if they determine that a relationship is not going to work out long term they will cut their losses in a what will seem like a really abrupt end to their partner.

    I'm an ENTJ :pac:

    I'd also be one of those people where someone seeing me is going to meet my family sooner rather than later, not in a big, official "Meet the Parents" way but simply because we socialise a lot together. I know it's not for everyone which is why I tend to gravitate towards people who come from a similar family dynamic as me.


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    #3814
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't think you should date based purely on attachment style or MBTI category.
    Early attachment shapes us. My earlier point was to be aware of our own and how that can play out in relating with others.


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    #3815
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    oh no, I don't believe that people should seek out a type that is supposedly compatible with them, in fact my Xh is an ISTP which is supposedly compatible with my type and we were chalk and cheese. But with the fickle entj, reading that definitely helped take the sting out of the way he dumped me!

    The man I'm going to meet on Saturday is very easy to chat too, and because we've been whatsapping I've just seen his profile page appear in my people you may know. He's clearly not married, but he is South American. He has mentioned being Spanish a few times, and he even told me that he voted postally in the spanish elections.

    Internet stalking. It's a slippery slope. Now I have to pretend I don't know that he's lying about being Spanish. He has to pretend to be Spanish mind you............. He should lock down his privacy settings. There are some right weirdos out there. ;-)


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    #3816
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    metaoblivia wrote: »
    I hope you find it insightful Mikkl!

    I reckon I will. I have a long history of forming attachments to men who don't want to/can't/won't commit. The last time was pretty draining. NEVER again. Our 'friendship' only went on for about 7 or 8 months so it could have been worse. But even so, never again will I get so close to somebody who has parked me in a grey area. Even if they're really nice to me, on a day to day basis.


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    #3817
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,718 ✭✭✭seenitall


    Mikkl wrote: »
    oh no, I don't believe that people should seek out a type that is supposedly compatible with them, in fact my Xh is an ISTP which is supposedly compatible with my type and we were chalk and cheese. But with the fickle entj, reading that definitely helped take the sting out of the way he dumped me!

    The man I'm going to meet on Saturday is very easy to chat too, and because we've been whatsapping I've just seen his profile page appear in my people you may know. He's clearly not married, but he is South American. He has mentioned being Spanish a few times, and he even told me that he voted postally in the spanish elections.

    Internet stalking. It's a slippery slope. Now I have to pretend I don't know that he's lying about being Spanish. He has to pretend to be Spanish mind you............. He should lock down his privacy settings. There are some right weirdos out there. ;-)

    Maybe he is both Spanish and South American? I know a good few South American people around here who have a definite Spanish connection, have lived in Spain before coming to Ireland and similar. Like South African people who can get an Irish passport on the strength of having an Irish grandparent ( I know one of those, too).

    Anyway, the best of luck with it! :)


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    #3818
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    Ok, another bit of snooping, he had his 50th bd party in 2013, so he's 53 not 47 like he said. That's two lies.

    Meeting some other guy tomorrow night though. I have also googled the f*** out of him.


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    #3819
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    Seeintall, Yes I'm so sweet, I'd love for there to be some explanation that makes Mr Spamerica not a liar.


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    #3820
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,718 ✭✭✭seenitall


    Um, yeah... That second lie doesn't bode so well, does it? I hate it when people think they have to lie about their lives to make themselves seem more attractive or whatever. When in actual fact it just reeks of insecurity, is a deeply unattractive trait, and in the majority of cases so easily rumbled to boot. They're so rarely as clever as they think they are.

    Tbh I would be feeling so turned off someone like that by this stage, fair play to you if you go ahead with the date.


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    #3821
    Sunflower 27
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,955 ✭✭✭Sunflower 27


    Mikkl wrote: »
    oh no, I don't believe that people should seek out a type that is supposedly compatible with them, in fact my Xh is an ISTP which is supposedly compatible with my type and we were chalk and cheese. But with the fickle entj, reading that definitely helped take the sting out of the way he dumped me!

    The man I'm going to meet on Saturday is very easy to chat too, and because we've been whatsapping I've just seen his profile page appear in my people you may know. He's clearly not married, but he is South American. He has mentioned being Spanish a few times, and he even told me that he voted postally in the spanish elections.

    Internet stalking. It's a slippery slope. Now I have to pretend I don't know that he's lying about being Spanish. He has to pretend to be Spanish mind you............. He should lock down his privacy settings. There are some right weirdos out there. ;-)

    Ha! That really made me laugh. Wishing you the best with your date.

    I met my partner online years ago now. I joined as I don't drink so wasn't likely to meet someone in pubs. All the men lied about their age! With one exception and that's my partner. I had almost given up on it and told myself two more days and then I was off it for good.

    I received a message that night from my now partner. We met up a week later. I couldn't be happier. Very glad I stayed on it.


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    #3822
    seenitall
    Registered Users Posts: 3,718 ✭✭✭seenitall


    I am an OD veteran as well :D. It's so nice to read good stories on this thread, as for me it never worked out. I gave it a good few years, but nope. Not to put too fine a point on it, it was an unmitigated disaster for me, because people do lie and I was gullible then. I'll spare the details. It's ancient history, but those experiences did put me off it completely.

    My last relationship, which was a lot of fun, was from meeting IRL, and I fully intend to keep it to that medium going forward, whether it works out or not. :)

    But yeah, OD is I think another good avenue for people to meet. Just not people like me! :D


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    #3823
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    ............... and this guy lied about his age too. He was 50 not 47. Am I the only eejit on the internet telling the truth?! But I just laughed, I asked him his age and he said 50. I liked him. I don't think either of us it saw it as an instant attraction kind of thing (although he was handsome, so I can't really explain it) but he was very frank, quite wise about relationships etc... we agreed that neither of us was inclined to push water uphill. But I felt quite lucky to have had his company for an evening as it was very enjoyable. I kind of hope we cross paths again even though it was left with us both wishing each other good luck in the jungle. It kind of became understood somehow that that was how it was. Although he is the type of man you'd develop feelings for if you saw him a lot. But that's not how internet dating works. It's got to be 'bam' and 'yes'. Not, I like you, respect you, felt relaxed around you.

    Oh well. Tomorrow is another dayt. :-p


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    #3824
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Mikkl wrote: »
    Ok, another bit of snooping, he had his 50th bd party in 2013, so he's 53 not 47 like he said. That's two lies.

    Meeting some other guy tomorrow night though. I have also googled the f*** out of him.


    No offence but that's really creepy


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    #3825
    Shint0
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭Shint0


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    No offence but that's really creepy
    Apparently not :)


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    #3826
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    None taken! It's my sense of humour, little bit of deadpan exaggeration............... I just looked at his page on fb that's all. However, I did once save myself the price of a babysitter discovering via linkedIn that a man was a whole decade older than he claimed to be. That might be creepy but I'd rather be ''creepy'' than waste my time and money on a bare faced liar.

    The guy I met last night, he let slip that he knew what school I'd gone to and I let it pass! So we were equally creepy!


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    #3827
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    What do ye even talk about on the date?

    Him: I like travelling.
    You: i know, you've been to Thailand and Italy this year.
    Him: this bar is good.
    You: yeah, I saw you checked in here three times since January.


    Wtf dude, c ya after


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    #3828
    Shint0
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭Shint0


    :D

    You can't be too careful out there. Like Mikkl's legoverlad. More like legoveryourdeadbody


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    #3829
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    He was very easy to talk to! We started off talking about brexit and the repercussions for the UK and Ireland, and then really quickly it seemed to move on to very personal stuff. I had a very honest conversation with him about married friends not getting OLD, dealing with their useless advice, the mismatch of dating somebody with kids/without kids, loneliness and dealing with it and balancing that with not 'settling' for a mismatched situation. He said, what if you joined a dating agency and you got ten matches, and the circumstances were matched for you (ie, you have kids, so have they) and you had to pick one, would that work. I talked about optimal stopping theory wrt OLD! So I guess we talked about the stuff you can't talk to coupled-up friends about. I found him emotionally honest and communicative but also very male. Maybe we shouldn't have theorised everything. Maybe we should have got pissed and snogged.

    The man I'm meeting later, I want to avoid talking about brexit.


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    #3830
    Shint0
    Registered Users Posts: 1,196 ✭✭✭Shint0


    Would you say there was any attraction there, Mikkl, or more like the office husband without the tingles?


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    #3831
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    I'd say if I worked with him, he'd be my office husband. You'd definitely tell him stuff. He was good company, clever, he looked after himself. I don't know. It's hard. I think his reservation (about me) would be that I had kids! he talked about having gone out with a parent before and he said that she felt 'burnt out' after five months due to the compartmentlising and juggling required to have a job, house, family, relationship. I knew exactly what he meant and i was nodding pretty vigorously when he said that. So I guess, from his pov, going on a second date with me would have been like pressing re-play on something he's done before.


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    #3832
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    Shint0 wrote: »
    Would you say there was any attraction there, Mikkl, or more like the office husband without the tingles?

    He was attractive definitely


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    #3833
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Do people actually Google those they go on dates with? :eek:


    Never even considered it in the past tbh!


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    #3834
    Hombre Lobo
    Registered Users Posts: 265 ✭✭Hombre Lobo


    So glad I don't have a FB or LinkedIn profile now.


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    #3835
    Greencoco
    Site Banned Posts: 6 ✭Greencoco


    Shint0 wrote: »
    Would you say there was any attraction there, Mikkl, or more like the office husband without the tingles?

    Whats the office husband without the tingles?


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    #3836
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    It definitely goes on of course. I'm only guilty of exaggeration! Which was a mistake as although I find myself v funny, I feel misunderstood and a little judged by some of you now, judgers!

    I'm mostly guilty of having been round the block a few extra times OLDing.

    For tonight's date, I will put on a more flirtatious hat. No talking about the economy.


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    #3837
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Mikkl wrote: »
    I'd say if I worked with him, he'd be my office husband. You'd definitely tell him stuff. He was good company, clever, he looked after himself. I don't know. It's hard. I think his reservation (about me) would be that I had kids! he talked about having gone out with a parent before and he said that she felt 'burnt out' after five months due to the compartmentlising and juggling required to have a job, house, family, relationship. I knew exactly what he meant and i was nodding pretty vigorously when he said that. So I guess, from his pov, going on a second date with me would have been like pressing re-play on something he's done before.

    So much thinking. There's a heaviness coming across in your posts. Don't Google, sure that takes away any sense of mystery and will also give you a preconceived idea when you meet the person. You are not giving either of you a fair chance. Damn I hate social media.
    Life was simpler and people more authentic before it bulldozed it's way in.


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    #3838
    Mister Vain
    Registered Users Posts: 6,055 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    I googled a girl before and she turned out to be former porn star. I think they just shared the same name though.

    Would you date a former porn star?


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    #3839
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Mister Vain wrote: »
    I googled a girl before and she turned out to be former porn star. I think they just shared the same name though.

    Would you date a former porn star?

    I don't know if it would bother me or not but I wouldn't like to find out about it by digging around before we even met.


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    #3840
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Mikkl wrote: »
    Ok, another bit of snooping, he had his 50th bd party in 2013, so he's 53 not 47 like he said. That's two lies.

    Meeting some other guy tomorrow night though. I have also googled the f*** out of him.

    I don't get why people lie about their age on dating sites? Its not as if people are going to find you more attractive simply because of the year you were born. If theyre attracted to you, I don't think they'll care really..as long as your age groups are somewhat compatible ie.not 15 year difference


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    #3841
    Mikkl
    Registered Users Posts: 74 ✭✭Mikkl


    Exactly wakka! and, I'm still going because he looks really open and authentic, guileless - apart from his three lies :-p


    I don't think that answering a question (re the office husband!) is any indication that I'm heavy. I happily answered the question put to me though. I hadn't thought about before it was put to me, bt tbh it's a good a question because there is a lot of pressure on a first date, nail your colours to the mast now, yay? or nay!, so the 'would you like this person' in a colleague context is a good way to make somebody think about whether somebody might grow on you.


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