Online dating

FGR

Deleted User wrote: »

FGR, my three favourite consonants come together to form your name, what a glorious day it is that you should message me.

Alas I am a mere counterfeit of Persephone, a play on her name in an attempt to create some of her wondrous nature for my own. A deceit? Perhaps. Yet aren't we all deceiving each other in the smallest of ways as we pick our step through the 'right' people and the 'wrong'.


Anyway enough of that shíte. Taco chips sounds good. Maybe a bag o cans as well?


:pac:

Your three favourite consonants eh? Do tell.. This screen name is a shortened version of a pseudonym I used years ago.

I'm game for cans. And because I like to treat a lady I'll pick up the Dutch - no cheap Bavaria for you!

:pac:

Do you like this dating site? boards.ie is at the forefront of innovation where your messages are graded out of 10 by the forum.. :pac:

FGR

FGR wrote: »

Your three favourite consonants eh? Do tell.. This screen name is a shortened version of a pseudonym I used years ago.

I'm game for cans. And because I like to treat a lady I'll pick up the Dutch - no cheap Bavaria for you!

:pac:

Do you like this dating site? boards.ie is at the forefront of innovation where your messages are graded out of 10 by the forum.. :pac:

Throw in a bag of chips and you have yourself a deal.

I fear messages are also graded by a higher power. So it actually works best if a more subtle approach is taken where users don't actually treat it like a dating site. Afterall who doesn't want to stoop to machiavellian levels of cunning in order to get the girl, or boy as the case may be.

Felix Jones is God

Are we all taking a break during the Ireland V South Africa rugby game?

cantdecide

According to my buddy, his main profile pic is a picture which reads "listen; may it's time to settle".

Mikkl

Yeh having the same interests is a total red herring. I think it something to do with communication styles. I'm interested in being a well-balanced, sane, supportive, affectionate, even-tempered, curious, normal but not average person. You interested in that? Snap. Gonna put that on my profile. Gonna delete the essay and put up a picture of my new dress & 'take this dress out'' if you share these interests.

jimbobaloobob

Mikkl wrote: »

Yeh having the same interests is a total red herring. I think it something to do with communication styles. I'm interested in being a well-balanced, sane, supportive, affectionate, even-tempered, curious, normal but not average person. You interested in that? Snap. Gonna put that on my profile. Gonna delete the essay and put up a picture of my new dress & 'take this dress out'' if you share these interests.

Sounds like this thread will become the place to refine your profile and create that No reason not to profile.

Mikkl

cantdecide wrote: »

According to my buddy, his main profile pic is a picture which reads "listen; may it's time to settle".

That's funny if it's self-deprecating. I'd laugh at that if I read it.

But, a lot of men's profiles contain some reference to (attractive?) women needing to get real and stop looking for knights in shining armour. I find that really off-putting as that's not why they're being ignored.. (also, are they simultaneous ignoring the women who might reply to them?)

jimbobaloobob

Mikkl wrote: »

That's funny if it's self-deprecating. I'd laugh at that if I read it.

But, a lot of men's profiles contain some reference to (attractive?) women needing to get real and stop looking for knights in shining armour. I find that really off-putting as that's not why they're being ignored.. (also, are they simultaneous ignoring the women who might reply to them?)

i agree pre selecting and then wondering why the ship doesn't come in.

I remember seeing a few funny profile pics Beaker was one, another was a lad cutting the grass. I wonder to people do it for fear it might work if they took it serious

Mikkl

Mikkl wrote: »

That's funny if it's self-deprecating. I'd laugh at that if I read it.

But, a lot of men's profiles contain some reference to (attractive?) women needing to get real and stop looking for knights in shining armour. I find that really off-putting as that's not why they're being ignored.. (also, are they simultaneous ignoring the women who might reply to them?)

Or the one that say ' no psychos or bunny boilers '
LOL
As if anyone is going to send them a message!!

Shint0

Mikkl wrote: »

But, a lot of men's profiles contain some reference to (attractive?) women needing to get real and stop looking for knights in shining armour. I find that really off-putting as that's not why they're being ignored.. (also, are they simultaneous ignoring the women who might reply to them?)

It's just personal bitterness at their lack of success and their own individual shortcomings. People couple up all the time and the marriage rate has been on the up in the last few years so it's no reflection on women, the dating game or otherwise.

Mikkl

Oh yeh, bubblypop, or my favourite, hmm, "no drama!" "i don't do drama". That means, I'm going to behave quite badly getting all my own needs met and somebody's expense, but I won't think about that, and if you call me out on my behaviour rather than just disappearing conveniently with your dignity, then that is drama, and remember, I don't do drama..........

CelticRambler

Hombre Lobo wrote: »

For e.g - I'd ask a girl if she liked football or is she following the Euros before I'd ask her 'did you see the first Spanish goal last night. Otherwise it could just result in 'I can't stand football'

Deleted User wrote: »

Hopefully it won't be just "no". It will be,

"I wouldn't be a fan at all but I totally get the enthusiasm it provokes. Some friends of mine are mad about the soccerball I'll be curled up with a book today. Will you go out for a few pints "?

Football and drinking ...

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

....how does Kazakh traditional dance grab ya?

That's more like it! :cool:


I'd be another "not a great small talker" and find it both helpful and unhelpful to be matched up with someone of similar interests. On the one hand, you already know that (they say) they're interested in such-and-such which kind of cuts short the finding-out part of chatting up.

jimbobaloobob

Mikkl wrote: »

Oh yeh, bubblypop, or my favourite, hmm, "no drama!" "i don't do drama". That means, I'm going to behave quite badly getting all my own needs met and somebody's expense, but I won't think about that, and if you call me out on my behaviour rather than just disappearing conveniently with your dignity, then that is drama, and remember, I don't do drama..........

The other popular one along with i dont do drama is i dont want kids
then wahh wahh wahh wahh I WANT KIDS they tell ya!

xkariex

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

Tigger99

About 30 seconds :pac:

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

xkariex wrote: »

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

15mins. After a ghosting period of about a week, but that's also depending on how long you'd been in contact. Shorter the contact, the less ghosting period I'd accept. Chop chop. I'll try to come up with a formula if I can.


Edit: if your hesitation in deleting them is because you're not 100% sure you've been ghosted and they might just be preoccupied, then wait until you are sure. But if you know they're deliberately ignoring you and you're hesitating in order to spare their feelings, then f-ck that sh1t! They didn't spare yours.

tomwaterford

xkariex wrote: »

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

Why would you keep them as a Facebook friend...block them now

La.de.da

xkariex wrote: »

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

Straight away. They've moved on it seems. don't waste your precious time.

jimbobaloobob

xkariex wrote: »

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

not sure what ghosted is but i wouldnt have them as facebook friends to start with

Shint0

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

not sure what ghosted is

It's when you think you have snared a victim but they manage to break free and run for the hills.

wakka12

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

not sure what ghosted is but i wouldnt have them as facebook friends to start with

Fairly self explanatory! They were there and interested and now theyre gone, ignoring you. They ghosted

Mikkl

I'd do it sooner rather than later xkariex!

what do you make of this..... I was chatting to a man who messaged me first. He wants to meet, and he gave me his number which I added to my phone. As soon as I'd added it pretty much he came up as a suggestion and his first name is unusual enough that I noticed it (ok, I was trawling through my people you may know looking for it ;-) - anyway) I looked on his fb page, all locked down nicely, can't see much, but I notice a woman with the same sur name so I click on her and her settings are public. Lots of chat as recently as Aug 2015 ''lovely evening with you and ****, must do it again soon'' and ''say hi to ****" for me'' and she says ''i will, he told me you said ...." So they were still together less than a year ago.

Would he really use some of the same photos on fb and on a dating site if he weren't separated though? I did detect a bit of a need to consciously uncouple a bit more tbh. He said 'we' a few times. We moved out to *surburb for more space.

But then, some people don't realise how easily the dots join up. He might think ''who could possibly find out my sur name and do a quick check up?''.

Internet stalkin' - it's a slippery fukkin slope I tell ya, but very necessary.

I probably shouldn't meet up with this guy should I?

RWCNT

Mikkl wrote: »

I notice a woman with the same sur name so I click on her and her settings are public. Lots of chat as recently as Aug 2015 ''lovely evening with you and ****, must do it again soon'' and ''say hi to ****" for me'' and she says ''i will, he told me you said ...." So they were still together less than a year ago.

It's his sister.

KomradeBishop

Married/cheating guys are extremely common online, and will lie through their teeth at every step - regardless of how incredulous that becomes, or how insulting that is to someones intelligence - so while I wouldn't discard someone at the first hint of something being 'off' (could still turn out to be innocent in the end - not enough info on the guy above to say either way), keep an eye out for the warning signs, and resist the temptation to ignore those warning signs if you're getting on really well.

Once you 'out' someone though - avoid telling them how you outed them, if you can (sometimes you need to put it to them, to see if they can explain it though), or they'll know how to cover their tracks better for the next person, and will get better at cheating for the next time.

Mint Sauce

xkariex wrote: »

If you've been ghosted by someone after being on dates, how long would you wait to delete them as a facebook friend?

After how many dates have you added them as a FB friend. I think I would have confirmed us as going out or as my girlfriend friend before adding. Not within 2 or 3 dates, when goasting could still occur.

jimbobaloobob

i think you already know the answer to that mikkl

gsi300024v

how soon did you add them on facebook?

Mikkl

It's not his sister because she is from Dublin and he is from London!

Mikkl

jimbobaloobob wrote: »

i think you already know the answer to that mikkl

you're right........... the little voice in my head ALWAYS turns out to be right! I should listen to the voices in my head

armaghlad

KomradeBishop wrote: »

Married/cheating guys are extremely common online, and will lie through their teeth at every step - regardless of how incredulous that becomes, or how insulting that is to someones intelligence - so while I wouldn't discard someone at the first hint of something being 'off' (could still turn out to be innocent in the end - not enough info on the guy above to say either way), keep an eye out for the warning signs, and resist the temptation to ignore those warning signs if you're getting on really well.

Once you 'out' someone though - avoid telling them how you outed them, if you can (sometimes you need to put it to them, to see if they can explain it though), or they'll know how to cover their tracks better for the next person, and will get better at cheating for the next time.

I met a girl from tinder who I'd been chatting to on and off for about a year or so before finally deciding to meet.

She told me about a guy she met (much older than her, she is in her 20s) who had claimed to be single but was not only married but had 3 kids. The wife confronted her over the phone one day and was hysterical calling her all the names of the day before she was able to convince her that she didn't know he was married. Wife turns round and says he's done this about four or five times before!

It beggars belief that 1. This guy has the audacity to cheat so much and 2. The wife has full knowledge and still doesn't leave him. Apparently he was having counselling etc but that didn't stop him buying this girl Rihanna tickets for this week! Wtf like!