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Online dating

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    #3692
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Hopefully it won't be just "no". It will be,

    "I wouldn't be a fan at all but I totally get the enthusiasm it provokes. Some friends of mine are mad about the soccerball :) I'll be curled up with a book today. Will you go out for a few pints "?

    So if we were to start dating, and I wanted to take you to a match. ... youd rather be sat at home with a book?!
    :);)


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    #3693
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Felix Jones is God wrote: »
    So if we were to start dating, and I wanted to take you to a match. ... youd rather be sat at home with a book?!
    :);)

    Yep and would have no problem you going off doing your thing just like you'd have no problem with me doing mine :)


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    #3694
    Username here
    Registered Users Posts: 1,044 ✭✭✭Username here


    Hombre Lobo wrote: »
    For e.g - I'd ask a girl if she liked football or is she following the Euros before I'd ask her 'did you see the first Spanish goal last night. Otherwise it could just result in 'I can't stand football'

    And? You've still established whether or not she likes football (or whatever you've asked her about). So, to me at least, that's a more natural way of establishing whether or not there are common interests.

    As for it feeling forced - if they're not asking you any questions, or telling you things about themselves that you can use to further a discussion, tell them some things about yourself. An amusing anecdote, if you will. :pac: If things still feel forced, well then it's probably time to drop it and move on to someone who you may have a better rapport with.


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    #3695
    Hombre Lobo
    Registered Users Posts: 265 ✭✭Hombre Lobo


    cantdecide wrote: »
    I do struggle with the initial small talk process IRL as well as in OD and I often feel that the natural charmer wins over the deeper conversationalist at this stage.

    I think this is what I struggle with really. I'll just have to try and work on it.
    I'm not all that great with small talk with strangers but one of those people you can't shut up when I know you.


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    #3696
    chillin117
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 736 ✭✭✭chillin117


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Let's role play.

    I'm a girl on a dating site. Now you send me the first message.
    I am sitting here naked looking at your picture, found your Facebook page too.....:eek:


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    #3697
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hombre Lobo wrote: »
    I think this is what I struggle with really. I'll just have to try and work on it.
    I'm not all that great with small talk with strangers but one of those people you can't shut up when I know you.

    Then say this to the girl. "I'm not great with the back and forth texting business. Why don't we meet up for a drink?"


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    #3698
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    chillin117 wrote: »
    I am sitting here naked looking at your picture, found your Facebook page too.....:eek:

    "Is that so?

    I don't have Facebook. You must try harder".


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    #3699
    Hombre Lobo
    Registered Users Posts: 265 ✭✭Hombre Lobo


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Hombre Lobo wrote: »
    I think this is what I struggle with really. I'll just have to try and work on it.
    I'm not all that great with small talk with strangers but one of those people you can't shut up when I know you.

    Then say this to the girl. "I'm not great with the back and forth texting business. Why don't we meet up for a drink?"

    Would most women be up for that so short into the conversation? I could give it a go.


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    #3700
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hombre Lobo wrote: »
    Would most women be up for that so short into the conversation? I could give it a go.

    I think you should give it a go.


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    #3701
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Yep and would have no problem you going off doing your thing just like you'd have no problem with me doing mine :)

    So we'd have nothing in common except magnificent sex .... it'll never last!
    :)


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    #3702
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Felix Jones is God wrote: »
    So we'd have nothing in common except magnificent sex .... it'll never last!
    :)

    Damn. I'd much prefer for us to like all of the same things and be clones of each other rather than be individuals and have magnificent sex :)


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    #3703
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Damn. I'd much prefer for us to like all of the same things and be clones of each other rather than be individuals and have magnificent sex :)

    Well Wed have to find some common interests....how does Kazakh traditional dance grab ya?


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    #3704
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Common interests that are important.

    Must like...
    Food, drinking, cuddles, spooning, awful jokes

    Must not...
    Be afraid of mice or spiders, be highly strung, be stubborn

    Must be...
    Patient, easily amused, good at adulting in stressful situations.

    Id be really creeped out if we had the same interests.
    "I like waxing hair from my body, having massages, shopping, getting my nails done, colouring in children's colouring books, trolling chatrooms and watching elephant videos on YouTube."

    You don't need the same interests


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    #3705
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    LexieOnRale wrote: »
    Common interests that are important.

    Must like...
    Food, drinking, cuddles, spooning, awful jokes

    Must not...
    Be afraid of mice or spiders, be highly strung, be stubborn

    Must be...
    Patient, easily amused, good at adulting in stressful situations.

    Id be really creeped out if we had the same interests.
    "I like waxing hair from my body, having massages, shopping, getting my nails done, colouring in children's colouring books, trolling chatrooms and watching elephant videos on YouTube."

    You don't need the same interests

    Not all I agree....but if you don't have some common ground the chances are a relationship won't last.
    I like trolling chat rooms too btw....not on boards though!
    ;)


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    #3706
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Felix Jones is God wrote: »
    Not all I agree....but if you don't have some common ground the chances are a relationship won't last.
    I like trolling chat rooms too btw....not on boards though!
    ;)

    It isn't common interests which are important it's a shared value system and fundamental beliefs.
    For example it wouldn't matter to me if I dated a guy who was very sporty, as long as he wasn't deeply Catholic.


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    #3707
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    It isn't common interests which are important it's a shared value system and fundamental beliefs.
    For example it wouldn't matter to me if I dated a guy who was very sporty, as long as he wasn't deeply Catholic.

    Well, to me dislike and distrust of religion would be a shared interest
    But I take your point and to an extent it's correct. But if you don't like sport, or dining out or cinema...and he does...you like soaps, swimming and pub scene.... he doesn't, then regardless of a shared value system a relationship most likely won't last


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    #3708
    Karmella
    Registered Users Posts: 663 ✭✭✭Karmella


    Hombre Lobo wrote: »
    I think this is what I struggle with really. I'll just have to try and work on it.
    I'm not all that great with small talk with strangers but one of those people you can't shut up when I know you.

    Yep, me too. This is why the best OD chats I had were about an interest listed in the profile, there was a little starting point there. I really struggled with the Hi messages. Or profiles with little or no info. Only lasted a week on tinder for this very reason. Found POF much better.


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    #3709
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    I think small talk is defo something you can improve on over time...




    /looks at own post count :o
    <


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    #3710
    Karmella
    Registered Users Posts: 663 ✭✭✭Karmella


    cantdecide wrote: »
    I think small talk is defo something you can improve on over time...




    /looks at own post count :o
    <

    I've been trying to improve for years :o I'm just really bad at it. I'm a lazy conversationalist. And the introduction of texting and social media technology just killed me off completely!! I could text for Ireland now but struggle to hold a conversation.

    I was chatting to a guy on POF and he asked if we could take the chat to a phone call (to be fair the messaging system on POF is awful!). And I had a freak out at the prospect of actually physically speaking to someone. But I went through with it and we spoke on the phone for an hour and met in person for coffee the next day! :)


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    #3711
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    If I'm too safe, she might get bored. If I'm too flirty, she might feel alienated. If I wait too long to suggest meeting, she may get bored. If I ask too soon, she may get creeped out. If I'm too much craic, well, it's just not me IRL...

    It always feels like walking a tightrope to me.


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    #3712
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    cantdecide wrote: »
    If I'm too safe, she might get bored. If I'm too flirty, she might feel alienated. If I wait too long to suggest meeting, she may get bored. If I ask too soon, she may get creeped out. If I'm too much craic, well, it's just not me IRL...

    It always feels like walking a tightrope to me.

    You are thinking too much. It's supposed to be fun. Stop being so concerned about how you come across and just do your thing.


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    #3713
    wakka12
    Registered Users Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    Hmm I don't think you need common interests to be a good couple! I know some lads and girls who are into extremely different things, pretty sure they don't have a lot they both like. But they do have similar personalities, both easy going, and similar humour so they both tend to have a good time together. I think thats more important that interests.
    My boyfriend and I share a lot in common, both study architecture, similar families, like same music and movies but it wouldnt mean anything if we didnt get on well with each other!


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    #3714
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    cantdecide wrote: »
    If I'm too safe, she might get bored. If I'm too flirty, she might feel alienated. If I wait too long to suggest meeting, she may get bored. If I ask too soon, she may get creeped out. If I'm too much craic, well, it's just not me IRL...

    It always feels like walking a tightrope to me.

    Just be normal like??

    Same as your are irl...if this scares her away...either you've to change how you are irl (maybe being short/angry etc)...or she's not for you???

    D
    Edit: this is not meant as saying you are those...just more a general comment per se




    Though tbf....I wouldn't mind another run at this dating sh1te again sometime

    (Clearly I've spent too long in the sun today :pac: )


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    #3715
    FGR
    Registered Users Posts: 2,451 ✭✭✭FGR


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Let's role play.

    I'm a girl on a dating site. Now you send me the first message.

    Oh dear Persepoly - daughter of Zeus and bride of Hades. Why does one with beauty divine and knowledge eternal present themselves to the realm of mortals?

    ...Or am I confusing you with Persephone..

    If the latter, then how're things? Fancy some taco fries? :pac:


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    #3716
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    FGR wrote: »
    Oh dear Persepoly - daughter of Zeus and bride of Hades. Why does one with beauty divine and knowledge eternal present themselves to the realm of mortals?

    ...Or am I confusing you with Persephone..

    If the latter, then how're things? Fancy some taco fries? :pac:

    Now. If my dating site name was Persepoly and I received that message it would cause me to smile exactly like I'm doing now and I would respond :)


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    #3717
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Now. If my dating site name was Persepoly and I received that message it would cause me to smile exactly like I'm doing now and I would respond :)

    Well stop twirling your hair and tell us what your hypothetical reply might be. We'll score both of you out of 10 on ye're performance :pac:


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    #3718
    Felix Jones is God
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭Felix Jones is God


    cantdecide wrote: »
    Well stop twirling your hair and tell us what your hypothetical reply might be. We'll score both of you out of 10 on ye're performance :pac:

    He had her at taco fries!


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    #3719
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    FGR wrote: »
    Oh dear Persepoly - daughter of Zeus and bride of Hades. Why does one with beauty divine and knowledge eternal present themselves to the realm of mortals?

    ...Or am I confusing you with Persephone..

    If the latter, then how're things? Fancy some taco fries? :pac:

    FGR, my three favourite consonants come together to form your name, what a glorious day it is that you should message me.

    Alas I am a mere counterfeit of Persephone, a play on her name in an attempt to create some of her wondrous nature for my own. A deceit? Perhaps. Yet aren't we all deceiving each other in the smallest of ways as we pick our step through the 'right' people and the 'wrong'.


    Anyway enough of that shíte. Taco chips sounds good. Maybe a bag o cans as well?


    :pac:


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    #3720
    cantdecide
    Registered Users Posts: 11,465 ✭✭✭✭cantdecide


    Deleted User wrote: »
    FGR, my three favourite consonants come together to form your name, what a glorious day it is that you should message me.

    Alas I am a mere counterfeit of Persephone, a play on her name in an attempt to create some of her wondrous nature for my own. A deceit? Perhaps. Yet aren't we all deceiving each other in the smallest of ways as we pick our step through the 'right' people and the 'wrong'.


    Anyway enough of that shíte. Taco chips sounds good. Maybe a bag o cans as well?


    :pac:

    /adjust specs
    /looks at FGR
    *coughs

    FGR? The lady's waiting...


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    #3721
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    cantdecide wrote: »
    /adjust specs
    /looks at FGR
    *coughs

    FGR? The lady's waiting...

    G'wan now yee messers :p


This discussion has been closed.
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