Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

brandnewaward

skirtgirl wrote: »

"ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

glad the child is off getting educated , the muvva obv neva went 2 skool......**** , i'm reading this thread too long, I'm starting to talk like one of them now

Zymurgist

Such crck hear wit the mother and maggie (smile emoticon) tanks for a great night (grin emoticon) 2mad c-nts a night ill never 4get tanks mum love ya loads (heart emoticon) (kiss emoticon) Xxxxxxxxxxx

brandnewaward

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

KKkitty

brandnewaward wrote: »

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

Please tell me that's a wind up. Telpis if it is.

brandnewaward

KKkitty wrote: »

Please tell me that's a wind up. Telpis if it is.

saw it last night and first thing i thought of was this thread

sligojoek

Samsgirl wrote: »

loven da new air max i got meself ,soo onwords a upwords frm now on ,nite in wit d family an me sis went n bought loads of ice creams an jam tarts d whole lot, ah shur y not ,dnt leve me breatless lol dnt leve me bald haha no mean sis ,haters guna hate stalkers guna stalk da page so lets giv em reason haha dnt hate us cuz u aint us ,fool of a fein

TL;DR

Got new shoes.
Girls night in.
F**k the begrudgers

Detached Retina

brandnewaward wrote: »

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

Reminds me of a status update on my feed when James Gandolfini died back in 2013

"Goodnight Gandalf the grey, how I'll miss your wizardy ways"

I hoped at the time my friend in question was being ironic in some way:(

Niemoj

"was ih d dole offce 2day nd hu did i c onli (Person's name) nd she wudnt evn say hello 2me r notn,her ownn cuzint nd nt a wrd ,sum ppl tnk ther shi dnt stnk dats 4shore .abso wrek ur head so ih wud"

That gem was posted by a local young mother obviously upset at the Department Of Social Welfare or something...

lizzyman

brandnewaward wrote: »

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

This thread should come with a warning about installing a keyboard cover before viewing. Second time now that I've sprayed my laptop with tea.

De Bhál

brandnewaward wrote: »

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

that's a joke

kunst nugget

De Bhál wrote: »

that's a joke

Never…

De Bhál

kunst nugget wrote: »

Never…

ah, I see the title of this thread is also Great Facebook statuses. I'm just so used to reading the dumb ones I forgot people actually put some funny stuff up also.

griffin100

skirtgirl wrote: »

"ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

Am I reading this correctly? So she has a free house as the kids are in school, and her priorities are to please her man and get some cleaning done? Think I'll be showing this post to my Mrs.

kunst nugget

De Bhál wrote: »

ah, I see the title of this thread is also Great Facebook statuses. I'm just so used to reading the dumb ones I forgot people actually put some funny stuff up also.

Tbf, they've been thin on the ground...

Hoop66

brandnewaward wrote: »

so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

Rusty must be devastated

XxMCRxBabyxX

When u meet an old work colleague that stood on top of u to get ahead n u treat them with respect - feeling proud

Some nice subtle bitching there. Isn't she so amazing.

Chris_Bradley

"Ebola has reached Dallas I'm packing my bags and moving to Texas! I can't stay in this diseased country any longer!"

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Axel Lamp

RIP XXX XXX, u wil b mised by al of us. U nevr di no harm to noone, all u did was luk out fir ure famile

Ironically the use of the double negative is quite accurate for this recently deceased fine upstanding member of Irish society.

sligojoek

Axel Lamp wrote: »

Ironically the use of the double negative is quite accurate for this recently deceased fine upstanding member of Irish society.

At least Noone came out of the thing unscathed

sligojoek

Or din he?

skirtgirl

"See the one with the heavy hole blocked me over putting up pics off ur beautiful daughter sham jealousy is awful thing childlessness bitch.
.."
I think the insult she used to describe her behind is the worst one I have ever heard.

marcbrophy

Heavy hole is a brilliant insult and a classic too. :pac:

Haven't heard it in years though!

Tetra

"I need to get laid... Any takers? Lol (and no, I don't care who sees this. I'm a grown ass single adult.)"

Friend 1: "You might want to say laid by a women".
OP: "Meh. All the same with the lights off".
Friend 2: "One word, tinder".
OP: "No one ever swipes right on me".
OP: "Ever".
Friend 3: "Try some new pics with you dressed up. Your a good looking guy buddy".

MonkstownHoop

Tetra wrote: »

"I need to get laid... Any takers? Lol (and no, I don't care who sees this. I'm a grown ass single adult.)"

Friend 1: "You might want to say laid by a women".
OP: "Meh. All the same with the lights off".
Friend 2: "One word, tinder".
OP: "No one ever swipes right on me".
OP: "Ever".
Friend 3: "Try some new pics with you dressed up. Your a good looking guy buddy".

He should dress up as a pirate

Potential Underachiever

A frape surely? I have thought about putting up a status like that before or else sending PM's to lots of women and then claim I was fraped if no offers were forthcoming!

the_monkey

Originally Posted by skirtgirl
"ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

Frightening ... truly frightening

the_monkey

what the hell is telpis anyway ??

kitten_k

the_monkey wrote: »

what the hell is telpis anyway ??

It means God Help Us.

the_monkey

kitten_k wrote: »

It means God Help Us.

Michael D Not Higgins

the_monkey wrote: »

God help us -> Gaw-telpus -> Telpis