Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

SMJSF

skirtgirl wrote:

"ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

Oh God my poor head hurts after 4 lines reading that!

lizzyman

kitten_k wrote: »

It means God Help Us.

the_monkey wrote: »

Michael D Not Higgins wrote: »

God help us -> Gaw-telpus -> Telpis

Needs to be stickied.

Generic Dreadhead

If you're Ice Cream is too hard to scoop out, put a metal spoon in the microwave for 30 seconds

Darwinism

SuperGrover

It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.

kunst nugget

SuperGrover wrote: »

It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

A fork is bad news, but a spoon is probably grand.

Ah, now I'm going to have to stick cutlery in the microwave this evening to see if that's true…

Generic Dreadhead

SuperGrover wrote: »

It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

A fork is bad news, but a spoon is probably grand.

Yeah I know this. But I still wouldn't throw up on Facebook that people should put metal spoons in Microwaves regardless cause people are idiots and will take liberties with such ideas.

Changed 'probably' to possibly' as I don't really know what constitutes a safe shape but a clever bloke explained it to me

I too did my research before I posted it :pac:

SuperGrover

Please read edited version of post.

But, yeah, go ahead.

Heh.

dirkmeister

Swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl.

Samaris

SuperGrover wrote: »

It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.

My first reaction to that was "bull****!" but then I read up a bit on it and - huh, you're quite right. Mental apologies for mental accusation ensued :P.

It seems it's to do with the thinness (as it will heat up very fast - a staple, a foil covering, etc) and as you said, the shape - sharp edges will cause an aureolis effect, "St Elmo's Fire" and can cause things to set alight. So a spoon might well be alright in a microwave. Two metal things touching each other, or one touching the side of the oven could cause sparks and an electrical charge that could do your microwave damage.

I still wouldn't risk it though!

dirtyden

SuperGrover wrote: »

It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.

You are an evil genius. How many metal spoons have fried microwaves since you posted this!

Not a NSA agent

Samaris wrote: »

My first reaction to that was "bull****!" but then I read up a bit on it and - huh, you're quite right. Mental apologies for mental accusation ensued :P.

It seems it's to do with the thinness (as it will heat up very fast - a staple, a foil covering, etc) and as you said, the shape - sharp edges will cause an aureolis effect, "St Elmo's Fire" and can cause things to set alight. So a spoon might well be alright in a microwave. Two metal things touching each other, or one touching the side of the oven could cause sparks and an electrical charge that could do your microwave damage.

I still wouldn't risk it though!

I think I've seen strips of tin foil being used to shield parts of the food from cooking or something but if the 2 ends are too close it can cause problems.

Physics happens anyway and most people would screw it up so no metal as a standard rule is safer.

MonkstownHoop

Not a NSA agent wrote: »

I think I've seen strips of tin foil being used to shield parts of the food from cooking or something but if the 2 ends are too close it can cause problems.

Physics happens anyway and most people would screw it up so no metal as a standard rule is safer.

Shouldn't that be Not an NSA agent?

fussyonion

"so proud of my little gracie today. last nite she said she wanted the potty in her room an didnt want ta wear nappies anymore and fair play to her she used the potty! Got a nice suprise wen we went to wake her up dis morning your'e a big girl now gracie #feckoffpampers".

Guy:Incognito

Does a whole facebook account count?

Surely posting this is allowed seeing as its a public figure? (in his own mind anyway) People before profit guy.

https://www.facebook.com/chris.hopper.37604?fref=ufi

Many many rants about chemtrails. It's the flights to america apparently.Always the damn Americans. They **** you with the cellphones.

Am I the only one that pictures myself saying what I type? As in , if its a long string of sentences running in to each other, you'd basically just be standing there ranting in someones face for ages. People need to calm down when they type.

PizzamanIRL

Everyone publicly posting messages to fathers when most of them are in the same room as them as they post it. Why does everything have to be so public?

Owryan

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

Everyone publicly posting messages to fathers when most of them are in the same room as them as they post it. Why does everything have to be so public?

Or:

"Happy Fathers Day Dad x x. I kno your watching us from heaven"

Wonder if they get a decent speed up there but at least there are no "angles/angels" mentioned.

My dad is dead, should i have posted on fb rather than visiting his grave ?? Confused

spud82

A picture of a girl I was in college with and her friend captioned with the title "Yummy mummys don't need ugly daddys"

sligojoek

http://i.imgur.com/5jn3Zxw.png

Pherekydes

Owryan wrote: »

My dad is dead, should i have posted on fb rather than visiting his grave ?? Confused

I'd say posting on FB has about the same effect as visiting the grave: both public displays meant for onlookers rather than the departed.

My son posted on my FB yesterday: Gone but not forgotten. You were the best dad ever.

What did he mean?

Sent from my iPhone 6 from Heaven over a 8kbits/sec dial-up landline.

kunst nugget

Owryan wrote: »

"Happy Fathers Day Dad x x. I kno your watching us from heaven"

It's always tempting to post 'I don't know, your da was a bit of a geebag… if he's not in hell, he's at least still in limbo and he's going to be there for a good while yet.'

XxMCRxBabyxX

Pherekydes wrote: »

I'd say posting on FB has about the same effect as visiting the grave: both public displays meant for onlookers rather than the departed.

Are you really trying to equate someone trying to visit a loved one in the only way that they can to posting a Facebook status?

Pherekydes

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

Are you really trying to equate someone trying to visit a loved one in the only way that they can to posting a Facebook status?

In my opinion, they are equivalent, yes.

retro:electro

Pherekydes wrote: »

In my opinion, they are equivalent, yes.

That's actually awful that you think that. One is a private place for reflection where the loved ones remains lie and where one can find comfort and feel close to the person who died. The other is a public cry for attention where someone has unfortunately passed but alas there is no wifi in heaven so is utterly pointless.

kunst nugget

Pherekydes wrote: »

In my opinion, they are equivalent, yes.

Yes, anytime I go to a graveyard I'm waving my arms in the air to get everyone's attention and shouting 'Look at me, guys! I'm here! Just paying my respects! Look at me, guys, seriously! Look!'

farmchoice

Pherekydes wrote: »

In my opinion, they are equivalent, yes.

i'm not sure you thought that one through.

De Bhál

kunst nugget wrote: »

Yes, anytime I go to a graveyard I'm waving my arms in the air to get everyone's attention and shouting 'Look at me, guys! I'm here! Just paying my respects! Look at me, guys, seriously! Look!'

when I go I like to announce it on Facebook - means I'm getting attention from all parties.

RainyDay

De Bhál wrote: »

when I go I like to announce it on Facebook - means I'm getting attention from all parties.

Grave selfie?

But seriously, I know one family who pay far more attention to their dead members than to their live ones. They have shrines to the dead, frequent masses, weekly collection for flowers, gravestone washing rota while some of the remaining live members struggle with mental health and relationships.

I guess it's easier to deal with the dead ones, as they don't ask awkward questions back.

banie01

Was browsing my FB feed today and came across a pic of a confirmation boy with the caption "Ahhh GBH he's looking lovely"
So after checking the kid wasn't a victim of GBH, I think I can confidently assume that it means "God Bless Him" in skanger speak rather than Grievous bodily harm!

I think we need a glossary post for all these contractions and "new" vernacular additions

J Mysterio

How about a funeral selfie?

Mam of 4

J Mysterio wrote: »

How about a funeral selfie?

Ah lord, I'd brain her if she was mine