No longer attracted to my girlfriend

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

At 30, you might. Maybe. Just about. But 30 ain't 40. Come back to us in 10 years.

Hate to break it to you but that's physiologically way off. Actual science like. Certainly for men. The hormonal profile of a 40 year old man is at worst 10% lower than at 30. Eating healthily(and less), exercising and in fairness the help of genetics shouldn't see much if anything of a difference in body shape and overall fitness at 40. The real drops happen after 50 and even then it's pretty slow until 60. Indeed if a guy was a bit of a slob at 25 and got the fitness bug at 35 he'd look better physically at 40 than at 20.

I dunno all this apparently rapid decay being talked about here seems to be more about excuses for slobbing out because of a date on a calendar. Ah shure don't we all get old, so that's alright like type stuff. Or "we'll all get old someday, so what does it matter if your GF/BF gets fat now". Middle aged spread is all very well, but the clue is in the phrase, getting "middle aged spread" at 25 is a very different thing and something all too easily avoided.

A lot of this stuff is cultural. Go back in time and you see a different picture in many cultures. EG Aristotle reckoned that men shouldn't get married until their late 30's(to 18 year old women) as they were at their peak then. Before the law was relaxed Roman soldiers didn't get hitched and start families until they retired in their early to mid forties. There were also gladiators in their forties. And all that's before modern medicine. The altar of youth is much more a fairly recent western thing. The 1960's "don't trust anyone over 30" really copperfastened it.

PhilBill

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Nah, he looks like a good-looking middle aged man.

Quite good looking for a middle aged man tho. Any man would be proud to look like the Cloon at his age!

PhilBill

Wibbs wrote: »

Hate to break it to you but that's physiologically way off. Actual science like. Certainly for men. The hormonal profile of a 40 year old man is at worst 10% lower than at 30. Eating healthily(and less), exercising and in fairness the help of genetics shouldn't see much if anything of a difference in body shape and overall fitness at 40. The real drops happen after 50 and even then it's pretty slow until 60. Indeed if a guy was a bit of a slob at 25 and got the fitness bug at 35 he'd look better physically at 40 than at 20.

I dunno all this apparently rapid decay being talked about here seems to be more about excuses for slobbing out because of a date on a calendar. Ah shure don't we all get old, so that's alright like type stuff. Or "we'll all get old someday, so what does it matter if your GF/BF gets fat now". Middle aged spread is all very well, but the clue is in the phrase, getting "middle aged spread" at 25 is a very different thing and something all too easily avoided.

A lot of this stuff is cultural. Go back in time and you see a different picture in many cultures. EG Aristotle reckoned that men shouldn't get married until their late 30's(to 18 year old women) as they were at their peak then. Before the law was relaxed Roman soldiers didn't get hitched and start families until they retired in their early to mid forties. There were also gladiators in their forties. And all that's before modern medicine. The altar of youth is much more a fairly recent western thing. The 1960's "don't trust anyone over 30" really copperfastened it.

Google is a great place for information.

Tarzana2

Dean0088 wrote: »

But he'll look a damn sight better than his mate who sits at home every evening watching TV.

Indeed he will. No disputing that.

steddyeddy

PhilBill wrote: »

Google is a great place for information.

Well then use it to form a decent rebuttal for once. (Or to look up the word rebuttal).

Littlekittylou

steddyeddy wrote: »

Sylvester Stallone at 60 VS an overweight 20 year old.

never could stand stallone ..sorry just not for me...who cares its what you yourself like ..pay no heed to what girls like ...we are just stupid humans like you guys..

Littlekittylou

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well then use it to form a decent rebuttal for once. (Or to look up the word rebuttal).

did you listen to the song?

Tarzana2

steddyeddy wrote: »

Sorry but I completely disagree with this "Oh well the body ages attitude". The body can still look excellent at 50 if people work out and take measures to improve. There are some 40 year olds with better bodies than some 20 year olds. Lifestyle is the primary factor.

Indeed, if the 20 year old doesn't work. If he does, there's no comparison. Nobody is saying that you need to accept it and stop working out. But even with working out, your body will age. Your face will age. Doesn't mean you won't look good. But you will look older.

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Nah, he looks like a good-looking middle aged man.

George is the perfect example of a man getting better looking with age. George at 25 versus George at 50.

Tarzana2

Wibbs wrote: »

Hate to break it to you but that's physiologically way off. Actual science like. Certainly for men. The hormonal profile of a 40 year old man is at worst 10% lower than at 30.

So... things have worsened.

Once again, y'all are using the disingenuous unfit 20 yo vs fit 40 yo thing. Try a fit 20 yo perhaps?

If you think you looked better at 40 than 20, great, good for you.

Shabra

Tarzana2 wrote: »

That's great. Still won't look the same in ten years time and not for the better.

When did I say I'd look the same?

Littlekittylou

You are all being the bad kind of silly not the good kind of silly.

steddyeddy

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Indeed, if the 20 year old doesn't work. If he does, there's no comparison. Nobody is saying that you need to accept it and stop working out. But even with working out, your body will age. Your face will age. Doesn't mean you won't look good. But you will look older.

But the word age as you use it gives little information about the reality of the situation. Yes we all age but we all age at different rates depending on:

• Genetics
• Activity
• Nutrition

Yes you will look older compared to a younger you but you could still look younger than someone younger.

Tarzana2

Wibbs wrote: »

George is the perfect example of a man getting better looking with age. George at 25 versus George at 50.

He looks 50.

And honestly not better looking. There's bad 80s hair going on, but transplant that onto him now, or give him the 50 something haircut then, and 25 yo George wins for me.

And your Mick Jagger example from earlier was ridiculous.

Wibbs

PhilBill wrote: »

Google is a great place for information.

No, sorry PB, maybe you're getting confused here. I have a mind and a memory and can call on both to bring forth relevant information and I could do it before google was around and can do it now.

steddyeddy wrote: »

Well then use it to form a decent rebuttal for once. (Or to look up the word rebuttal).

Ouch. Saucer of milk to Ed's table.

Littlekittylou

steddyeddy wrote: »

I would say most people are image conscious.

But who is more image conscious?
The gay male world is much more image conscious than the gay female world.

Studies show gay men have the worst body image esteem out of straight men gay women and straight women.

Fukuyama

Tarzana2 wrote: »

So... things have worsened.

He has 10% less testosterone. He can still get up off his arse and go for a run.

Littlekittylou

Dean0088 wrote: »

He has 10% less testosterone. He can still get up off his arse and go for a run.

Hypothetical healthy man still won't get a date though because life wants to bite him in the butthole. Prolly wishes he ate more chocolate.

steddyeddy

Littlekittylou wrote: »

But who is more image conscious?
The gay male world is much more image conscious than the gay female world.

Studies show gay men have the worst body image esteem out of straight men gay women and straight women.

Never say that without producing the studies.

Wibbs

Tarzana2 wrote: »

So... things have worsened.

Not nearly as bad as if you're a woman though. Men have so many more advantages as far as aging is concerned. TBH it's why I have little sympathy for men who whine about getting old in their 30's and yep I've heard a few muppets express that at that age.

Shabra

Littlekittylou wrote: »

Hypothetical healthy man still won't get a date though because life wants to bite him in the butthole. Prolly wishes he ate more chocolate.

What???

Littlekittylou

steddyeddy wrote: »

Never say that without producing the studies.

ok

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15554772

Gay men are thought to experience body-image concerns or disorders more frequently than heterosexual men. It is unclear, however, whether these putative concerns are due to unrealistic body ideals (aspiring to a body shape that is difficult or impossible to attain), body-image distortion (misperceiving the actual shape of one's body), or both.
We administered a well-established computerized body-image test, the "somatomorphic matrix," to 37 gay men recruited from the community in April 1999 and compared the results with previous data from 49 community-recruited heterosexual comparison men and 24 clinic-recruited heterosexual men with eating disorders.
Gay men were indistinguishable from the community-recruited heterosexual comparison men on measures of both body ideals and body-image distortion. By contrast, eating-disordered men were significantly distinguishable from both other groups on body-image distortion. The lack of differences between community gay and heterosexual men on body-image indices seems unlikely to represent a type II error, since the somatomorphic matrix showed ample power to detect abnormalities in the eating-disordered men, despite the smaller sample size of the latter group.
Contrary to our hypotheses, gay men did not differ significantly from heterosexual men on measures of body image. These unexpected findings cast doubt on the widespread belief that gay men experience greater body-image dissatisfaction than heterosexual men. If our findings are valid, it follows that some previous studies of body image in gay men may possibly have been influenced by selection bias.

Tarzana2

Wibbs wrote: »

Not nearly as bad as if you're a woman though. Men have so many more advantages as far as aging is concerned. TBH it's why I have little sympathy for men who whine about getting old in their 30's and yep I've heard a few muppets express that at that age.

Nobody is saying you can't keep fit and look good at any age. It's the self-appraised proclamations of looking better at 40 than 20 years before that are impossible to take seriously.

Fukuyama

Tarzana2 wrote: »

He looks 50.

And honestly not better looking. There's bad 80s hair going on, but transplant that onto him now, or give him the 50 something haircut then, and 25 yo George wins for me.

And your Mick Jagger example from earlier was ridiculous.

What's you opinion on it?

You seem to think people should just fall apart at 25 because they'll never look 20 again.

There are 40 year old men who'd have a better chance at attracting a 30 y/o woman, than a chubby 30 y/o man.

Littlekittylou

Shabra wrote: »

What???

I just that to myself that would be the way wouldn't it?

Littlekittylou

Wibbs wrote: »

Not nearly as bad as if you're a woman though. Men have so many more advantages as far as aging is concerned. TBH it's why I have little sympathy for men who whine about getting old in their 30's and yep I've heard a few muppets express that at that age.

In fairness though women just have to stop caring about what others like and lighten up.

We all do really.

Op you don't like your GF ..find someone else so she can be with someone who does like her. Life goes on.

steddyeddy

Littlekittylou wrote: »

ok

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15554772

Where's the comparison between gay men and women there?

Shabra

Tarzana2 wrote: »

Nobody is saying you can't keep fit and look good at any age. It's the self-appraised proclamations of looking better at 40 than 20 years before that are impossible to take seriously.

For men that it is quite often the case assuming that they look after their health and their hair doesn't fall out.

Shabra

Littlekittylou wrote: »

I just that to myself that would be the way wouldn't it?

I'm not sure what you're saying.

Littlekittylou

steddyeddy wrote: »

Where's the comparison between gay men and women there?

It's between gay men and hetero men. It's between the male gaze and the female gaze.

If you are patient I shall find the others.

Just wait ...eat some cake.