Women commenting on and rejecting men due to height

Pug160

Some women are just rude but sometimes they're rude because they just don't like the guy anyway. One of my friends is skinny and I don't think he's ever been rejected like that. The reason, I presume, is because he seems too cool and fun to be nasty to. I think it would probably be the same for a short guy. Quite a lot of women will insult a man about his height or size when they're angry. You need to be a right charmer for that to happen though, generally speaking.

ima_believer

Im a tall girl and I wouldnt go out with someone shorter than me, its a personal thing, I just wouldnt feel comfortable looking like a beanstalk beside him!

Galwayguy35

Roquentin wrote: »

maybe thats why you are not doing so well in the dating game

You have no idea how I am getting on in in the dating game, and it's none of your business either way.

Roquentin

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

You have no idea how I am getting on in in the dating game, and it's none of your business either way.

well actually from your posts i can deduce a few things

Remmy

I'm above 6ft but am more attracted to (all things being equal) women 5:5 and below. I think If I can have a preference for height then the opposite should also be allowed.

Galwayguy35

Roquentin wrote: »

well actually from your posts i can deduce a few things

Such as?

bb1234567

pwurple wrote: »

It has become a problem here, I know this because a friend was offered growth hormones for her 2 year old, because he looks like he will be about 5'5 when he is an adult. She refused them. The doctors spoke about bullying, finding a girlfriend/wife etc. His father isn't tall, has a wife, and was never bullied, so they completely dismissed this.

Apparantly a huge amount of spanish boys are given growth hormones for this reason.

It angers me that little boys are medicated for this.

Why isnt every child given hormones?

Roquentin

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Such as?

yer from galway........:pac:

not trying to be conceited, but you dont go out to impress a potential partner(thats why i highlighted it). That you have a date with a woman shows that you have something already. What you do is you go out to enjoy yourself and through doing that you you become more relaxed and make yourself more favorable to members of the opposite sex....

its the same with every facet of the social game. You see guys going out to "get" a woman. its the wrong mentality. You go out purely and simply to have a bit of craic.....

its very easy to spot the guys who are trying too hard or desperate. And it starts a vicious cycle in that they try, they fail and then they keep trying. Its almost like a thermostat working in reverse(the hotter it gets, the higher the temperature goes up)

anxiety is the enemy of performance. If you are more relaxed and not trying, the conversation will flow and the night will be better.

Just my IMO

Mister Vain

Roquentin wrote: »

yer from galway........:pac:

not trying to be conceited, but you dont go out to impress a potential partner(thats why i highlighted it). That you have a date with a woman shows that you have something already. What you do is you go out to enjoy yourself and through doing that you you become more relaxed and make yourself more favorable to members of the opposite sex....

its the same with every facet of the social game. You see guys going out to "get" a woman. its the wrong mentality. You go out purely and simply to have a bit of craic.....

its very easy to spot the guys who are trying too hard or desperate. And it starts a vicious cycle in that they try, they fail and then they keep trying. Its almost like a thermostat working in reverse(the hotter it gets, the higher the temperature goes up)

anxiety is the enemy of performance. If you are more relaxed and not trying, the conversation will flow and the night will be better.

Just my IMO

I'd mostly agree with what you're saying, but if you're going out and having the "craic" and you've been doing that for several years with no success, then something may need to change.

I know people that have been single for many years. They go out regularly and have a good time, but they never actually approach anyone. I know women can smell desperation a mile off, but sometimes you need to have a bit of that going out to "get" a woman mentality, because its all too easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.

Roquentin

Mister Vain wrote: »

I'd mostly agree with what you're saying, but if you're going out and having the "craic" and you've been doing that for several years with no success, then something may need to change.

I know people that have been single for many years. They go out regularly and have a good time, but they never actually approach anyone. I know women can smell desperation a mile off, but sometimes you need to have a bit of that going out to "get" a woman mentality, because its all too easy to get stuck in your comfort zone.

yea i agree. its a bit like going for a job interview. you want to show that you are interested, but also dont want to come across as obnoxious or desperate

Mister Vain

Roquentin wrote: »

yea i agree. its a bit like going for a job interview. you want to show that you are interested, but also dont want to come across as obnoxious or desperate

Exactly. It's finding the right balance. You can't be afraid to take risks too though. There were a few nights where I would have approached up to 10 women in the space of a few hours. Some of them probably thought I was a bit desperate or whatever, but I might get off with 1 woman and it would be worth. Sometimes the woman just isn't interested/attracted to you regardless of how smooth and casual your approach is.

EdenHazard

Thank god I have a way above average face fat feel when 5' 8''

ToxicPaddy

Years ago in college a good mate of mine was shot down by a girl and she told him straight out that it was because he was too short, in a very condescending bitchy way, like she was taking pleasure from it. He's about 5'9, so not exactly short short.

Anyway without batting an eyelid, he replied

"I'm so sorry but I can't help I was born this way, so what's your excuse for that fat ass of yours"

And walked away.. I have to say I had to do everything in my power to not double over laughing.. poor girl got a bit of a shock over such a public shut down. But I couldn't really sympathise with her.

Women and girls who reject a guy on their height and are bitchy about it don't deserve the attention and are certainly not worth the time.

Having personal preferences is fine, being an ass about it is not.

The kids of today are off living in some dreamland. All believing they are models strutting around the stepping on others as they go. If all they have to worry about is their height or the height of the people they are after, they are doing well.

But I reckon most is an act. Probably explains why there are so many insecure kids out there. I really would hate to be a teenager these days, having to act like that to impress those around you.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You can't help who you're attracted to. I like guys taller than me, but to be fair, most guys are taller than me. It's a security thing. It's comforting.

I like guys with dark hair, I'm usually not attracted to fair haired men.
I like guys with blue eyes.
They're also genetic things, but it's personal preference.

Roquentin

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

Years ago in college a good mate of mine was shot down by a girl and she told him straight out that it was because he was too short, in a very condescending bitchy way, like she was taking pleasure from it. He's about 5'9, so not exactly short short.

Anyway without batting an eyelid, he replied

"I'm so sorry but I can't help I was born this way, so what's your excuse for that fat ass of yours"

And walked away.. I have to say I had to do everything in my power to not double over laughing.. poor girl got a bit of a shock over such a public shut down. But I couldn't really sympathise with her.

Women and girls who reject a guy on their height and are bitchy about it don't deserve the attention and are certainly not worth the time.

Having personal preferences is fine, being an ass about it is not.

The kids of today are off living in some dreamland. All believing they are models strutting around the stepping on others as they go. If all they have to worry about is their height or the height of the people they are after, they are doing well.

But I reckon most is an act. Probably explains why there are so many insecure kids out there. I really would hate to be a teenager these days, having to act like that to impress those around you.

i think irish society has become more americanized and the expectations among youth are astronomical. however i think most people grow out of it. but some people dont(men and women alike)

ToxicPaddy

LexieOnRale wrote: »

You can't help who you're attracted to. I like guys taller than me, but to be fair, most guys are taller than me. It's a security thing. It's comforting.

I like guys with dark hair, I'm usually not attracted to fair haired men.
I like guys with blue eyes.
They're also genetic things, but it's personal preference.

Oh I completely agree with you. I know what type of girl I like and tend to be more attracted to that type as such.

But the OP was talking about a girl going over the top with her attitude to his friend and her put down and rejection of him based on his height.

A simple "I'm not interested" would have sufficed I'm sure.

ToxicPaddy

Roquentin wrote: »

i think irish society has become more americanized and the expectations among youth are astronomical. however i think most people grow out of it. but some people dont(men and women alike)

America as a country can be a very superficial place. Looks tend to get you noticed, then get you places. Just look at some of their so called celebrities.

Not off of America is like that, but their media does tend to drill that message into your average Joe there are it then snowball in general society.

With social media and technology, that whole image is being drilled into kids who don't know any better and they go along with it.

There is such a strong American influence over here, its no surprise those attitudes are being adopted here by the younger generations.

paddy1990

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

America as a country can be a very superficial place. Looks tend to get you noticed, then get you places. Just look at some of their so called celebrities.

Not off of America is like that, but their media does tend to drill that message into your average Joe there are it then snowball in general society.

With social media and technology, that whole image is being drilled into kids who don't know any better and they go along with it.

There is such a strong American influence over here, its no surprise those attitudes are being adopted here by the younger generations.

Good post. Yes social media and technology have had a massive impact. The young generation coming up are much different than the previous one. I talk to girls who are 18 now and they are completely different to what girls were like when I was 18, just 6 years ago. It's all about facebook likes, instagram, twitter - validation is hitting them from all angles, making a lot of them very vapid, superficial and generally quite tedious. Can't deny their beauty though - dat skin quality, no lines, no ruggedness. I look at girls my age and they are already showing signs of aging. Although once this new generation start to age and lose their looks, they might get really depressed. They get so much daily validation and when that goes there is going to be some void.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

Oh I completely agree with you. I know what type of girl I like and tend to be more attracted to that type as such.

But the OP was talking about a girl going over the top with her attitude to his friend and her put down and rejection of him based on his height.

A simple "I'm not interested" would have sufficed I'm sure.

Well yeah there's never ever a need to be nasty and to make another person feel bad about themselves, I'd see that as a bullet dodged to be honest

paddy1990

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Well yeah there's never ever a need to be nasty and to make another person feel bad about themselves, I'd see that as a bullet dodged to be honest

I do see it from the girls side as well though. Some unattractive short guy comes up and starts chatting her up. I've had some overweight girls come and chat me up and it's quite uncomfortable. I sympathize with women, who have to gently let guys down a lot and when you look at it from the perspective of a good looking girl who is getting chatted up and hassled by guys a lot, it's understandable if shes a bit blunt once in a while.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

paddy1990 wrote: »

Good post. Yes social media and technology have had a massive impact. The young generation coming up are much different than the previous one. I talk to girls who are 18 now and they are completely different to what girls were like when I was 18, just 6 years ago. It's all about facebook likes, instagram, twitter - validation is hitting them from all angles, making a lot of them very vapid, superficial and generally quite tedious. Can't deny their beauty though - dat skin quality, no lines, no ruggedness. I look at girls my age and they are already showing signs of aging. Although once this new generation start to age and lose their looks, they might get really depressed. They get so much daily validation and when that goes there is going to be some void.

There's definately something in this. One of my friends was absolutely beautiful when I met her first. Drop dead gorgeous. She used to be able to go out on Saturday nights with no money, and never had to spend a cent. Shed get free drinks, free food, free lift home with the boyracers. Apart from being a bit of a princess, she was nice and I enjoyed her company.

Now, she's pretty but average pretty. And the past few times we've been out she's been a nightmare, in lads faces grinding against them, slut dancing ect. The only thing I can think of is, the free stuff has stopped. She doesn't get hit on anymore. She has to spend her own money on her own drinks.
We're kind of putting her attention seeking down to the fact she's no longer the hottest girl in the place. And it's hard for her.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

paddy1990 wrote: »

I do see it from the girls side as well though. Some unattractive short guy comes up and starts chatting her up. I've had some overweight girls come and chat me up and it's quite uncomfortable. I sympathize with women, who have to gently let guys down a lot and when you look at it from the perspective of a good looking girl who is getting chatted up and hassled by guys a lot, it's understandable if shes a bit blunt once in a while.

Why is it uncomfortable though? Unless they're pawing at you I don't think there's any excuse to be hurtful or rude. I'd never approach a person to chat them up so I try bear that in mind if someone approaches me, and they're not my type. I do lose my cool if he starts touching me though, that's unacceptable

paddy1990

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Why is it uncomfortable though? Unless they're pawing at you I don't think there's any excuse to be hurtful or rude. I'd never approach a person to chat them up so I try bear that in mind if someone approaches me, and they're not my type. I do lose my cool if he starts touching me though, that's unacceptable

Yeah i am looking at it from the perspective of women having all kinds of guys approaching and as you say, some of them will start touching and other creepy stuff. So all im saying is that once in a while if a woman is blunt to a guy who perhaps didn't deserve such a harsh rejection, it can be kind of understandable. I've got a few girl mates who sometimes have said they were a bit too harsh in rejecting a guy and regretted being a bitch but at the time they were annoyed about some guys who had creeped them out beforehand.

bb1234567

You say it as if every 18 year old is good looking
As an ugly 18 year old who goes to school with many ugly 18 year olds I can tell you that is far from the truth
And yes our generation is very shallow, sometimes I feel like the only thing people judge myself and others on is how they look.
But, its not just our generation. If you look at online dating sites people of all ages only go after the hottest people on the sites... Men in their 40's and 50's can be awful on there, spending most their time chasing pretty 20 year old girls

ongarboy

bb1234567 wrote: »

You say it as if every 18 year old is good looking
As an ugly 18 year old who goes to school with many ugly 18 year olds I can tell you that is far from the truth
And yes our generation is very shallow, sometimes I feel like the only thing people judge myself and others on is how they look.
But, its not just our generation. If you look at online dating sites people of all ages only go after the hottest people on the sites... Men in their 40's and 50's can be awful on there, spending most their time chasing pretty 20 year old girls

Agreed on it not being a generational thing. The fundamentals and discrimination is the same in every age group (I'm sure even the fit and trim new widower attracts the attention of all the widows at the active retirement group!). It's just how the discrimination and attitudes manifest themselves is done differently by different age groups. I smiled at the 24 year old not being able to relate with 18 year olds. Where does that leave an old fogey like me?? Back in the ballroom of romance days it was about being the wallflower or being rejected when asking for a dance. In my day it was the slow set and subsequent "shifting" at the disco, Today, it's online or hook up app rejection....same first impression common denominator....your looks!

Saying that, looks aren't everything and if you don't have them, it's up to you to use whatever other resources and qualities that you do have to get ahead -certainly, it's a harder struggle but more than 90% of people still are in relationships ultimately, and we all know 90% of people aren't gorgeous....or tall! Bitterness on lack of gorgeousness certainly won't help and will be more detrimental to success then physical appearance in the long run.

newport2

paddy1990 wrote: »

Good post. Yes social media and technology have had a massive impact. The young generation coming up are much different than the previous one. I talk to girls who are 18 now and they are completely different to what girls were like when I was 18, just 6 years ago. It's all about facebook likes, instagram, twitter - validation is hitting them from all angles, making a lot of them very vapid, superficial and generally quite tedious. Can't deny their beauty though - dat skin quality, no lines, no ruggedness. I look at girls my age and they are already showing signs of aging. Although once this new generation start to age and lose their looks, they might get really depressed. They get so much daily validation and when that goes there is going to be some void.

24 year olds are showing signs of aging??!! This made me lol. No wonder they're looking for validation in their late teens if they're going to be over the hill by their mid 20's! Very small window they have there

Joking aside, interesting post by you there.

Roquentin

ToxicPaddy wrote: »

America as a country can be a very superficial place. Looks tend to get you noticed, then get you places. Just look at some of their so called celebrities.

Not off of America is like that, but their media does tend to drill that message into your average Joe there are it then snowball in general society.

With social media and technology, that whole image is being drilled into kids who don't know any better and they go along with it.

There is such a strong American influence over here, its no surprise those attitudes are being adopted here by the younger generations.

yea i totally agree. With the internet now the youth of today see what is the culture in america and mimic it. Now some grow out this popularity contest and life that is based on image, but some dont.

There was actually a fine fail td saying on vincent browne the other night that ireland has sort of lost its trade-culture. We are all going to college now and becoming professionals and so on and i would tend to agree with him.

The one thing i would say to anyone is that you dont want to have the almost narrcissistic american competitiveness. It is toxic. When i went out to work first their was an american chap and we could not stand him. Everything was about being the best and projecting an immaculate image to the world

LordNorbury

It's a huge thing now online, most women 5'7" and taller online will state specifically on their profiles that they are only interested in being contacted from guys over 6'...

In fairness, if you take a bit of altitude on this, men and women have just gotten a lot fussier and online technology has enabled that to a huge extent.

The inevitable outcome of this, strangely enough, is that men and women now spend considerably more time online, rejecting potential partners via an online filtering and selection process that eliminates people before a date, based on a very narrow (and often silly) set of criteria, that usually involves a guys height, career, etc, then they do trying to focus on something that might work on a first date or a subsequent date, on the basis of getting to know someone on a real world/personal level.

This in my opinion, is why you see so many single attractive people in their 30's today...

Roquentin

LordNorbury wrote: »

It's a huge thing now online, most women 5'7" and taller online will state specifically on their profiles that they are only interested in being contacted from guys over 6'...

In fairness, if you take a bit of altitude on this, men and women have just gotten a lot fussier and online technology has enabled that to a huge extent.

The inevitable outcome of this, strangely enough, is that men and women now spend considerably more time online, rejecting potential partners via an online filtering and selection process that eliminates people before a date, based on a very narrow (and often silly) set of criteria, that usually involves a guys height, career, etc, then they do trying to focus on something that might work on a first date or a subsequent date, on the basis of getting to know someone on a real world/personal level.

This in my opinion, is why you see so many single attractive people in their 30's today...

i agree. i think people have to compromise in life to enjoy it. Perfection does not exist.

i was saying this on another thread, that there is a correlation between the expectations of a woman with regards a potential partner and the socio-economic aspects of a country. What i mean is that as a country does better, its population gains more success and because of that success they demand more (often sub consciously) of their lives.

Men and women correlate who they are, what they have gained with what they expect and it is done sub consciously. So the man who has a professional degree has to have a fancy car. And the woman who has the professional degree looks for certain traits in a would be partner. Sometimes these demands are excessive.....

the criteria for a man is that the woman is good looking. The criteria for the woman, differs given the status of the woman.

I was saying to a friend that its a pity people dont study psychology because when you know the world and you know yourself, you begin to understand your decision process.

In my book a relationship is built out of friendship

paddy1990

bb1234567 wrote: »

You say it as if every 18 year old is good looking
As an ugly 18 year old who goes to school with many ugly 18 year olds I can tell you that is far from the truth
And yes our generation is very shallow, sometimes I feel like the only thing people judge myself and others on is how they look.
But, its not just our generation. If you look at online dating sites people of all ages only go after the hottest people on the sites... Men in their 40's and 50's can be awful on there, spending most their time chasing pretty 20 year old girls

Well most men never stop being attracted to 18-20 year old girls, no matter what age the man is.

I'm not sure whether you are a guy or a girl but I think that 18 year old girls being ugly is a bit of a misnomer. If you compare an "ugly" 18 year old girl to a "pretty" 30 year old woman, in my opinion it's no contest. The 18 year old will generally have great elasticity in the skin, no nasolabial folds, no lines, no sagging skin, no sagging body parts, no cellulite etc. Generally speaking it's no contest. Don't even get me started on the mentality of a 30 year old vs 18-20 year old either. 30 year olds have generally "had their fun" etc. If you are an 18 year old girl and ugly, I would say lose weight and get in good shape and your dating value will be huge (in b4 "value? am i in a market??")

For the guy surprised that women aged 24 are looking aged, yes i stand by that. Forhead lines, crows feet, rugged skin etc - this is what a very poor diet in college and going out most weeks getting legless drunk does to a lot of women by the mid 20s.

Interestingly I met a brazilian girl aged 26 recently and she literally looked 16. Different lifestyle.