Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Let's create a story together

Options
145791014

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,467 ✭✭✭Heraldoffreeent


    "That cloud looks like the Hidenburg"

    Or was it the Ludendorf guy? his WWI history was never his strong suit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    As his eyes wandered toward his burgeoning manhood, he could see that it was indeed the Ludendorf guy. His mind went back to the first time he saw Ludendorf's burgeoning manhood at the KFC.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    And as he thought of the many years which had passed, as many as must needs go by, he lingered on that thought as he rubbed his nipples with fingers moistened by the grease of recently devoured chicken skins.

    "Rub, rub" he chanted as he pictured Ludendorf's visage....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 76 ✭✭Mr. RED


    Suddenly; and without any warning; Imelda May came running out from behind the bush screaming...


  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    But she just continued running which pleased him. In fact, she disappeared so quickly, he wasn't even sure it was Imelda May. Anyway, he thought, who cares. He had no interest in Imelda May.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    Since having its anus stitched shut it shat through its dickhole.


  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    longshanks wrote: »
    Since having its anus stitched shut it shat through its dickhole.

    which he was quite good at by now. Then, as did every Saturday morning, went for his usual nude swim at Dollymount to show off his beautiful manly body.

    All the other swimmers looked at him adoringly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    But a stitched anus and a dickhole dripping shite was not for everyone


  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    But our hero did not give it a second thought, and happily pleasured himself


  • Registered Users Posts: 795 ✭✭✭kingchess


    until he noticed the buxom ban-garda approaching him,"ahh **** it" he said to himself. and then he pleasured himself some more


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    as he massaged his burgeoning manhood, he could feel himself getting closer and closer....


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 279 ✭✭thomur


    But then he realised the cat was watching


  • Registered Users Posts: 512 ✭✭✭Asarlai


    thomur wrote: »
    But then he realised the cat was watching

    ...and as his eyes flashed back and forth from the ban garda to the cat, he remembered how jealous his cat was.

    He quickly covered himself and took out his rosary beads and miraculous medal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    But it was too late. He'd stroked the boyo one too many times. ****e and jism splashed into his jocks, like a rotten egg off John Prescott' fat jowls.

    And the jolt he got almost felt like a retaliatory punch from the political chubster himself


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    The jolt he got was tingling through his nutsack because he was attatched to a car battery via his gonads.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭Santa Cruz


    "Oh Tibbles" he said as he stroked the cat "you do feel moist and inviting this morning. I hope you don't mind. My finger still smells of Twink"


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    "It was a good thing Tibbles likes the heady stench of rotten fish" he thought, as he continued to stroke her soft fur. Then, an unusual thought entered his mind...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    ...I'll enter the cat.

    Into a cute cat contest. Then with the winnings I will buy a machete and head down to...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭LizzieJones


    ...I'll enter the cat.

    Into a cute cat contest. Then with the winnings I will buy a machete and head down to...

    The Temple bar pub.

    There I will ......


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    The Temple bar pub.

    There I will ......
    Stab someone, anyone...and blame it on the bad man.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 48,742 ✭✭✭✭Wichita Lineman


    The same bad man who introduced water charges and is now planning to levy boardsie users who have.......


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    posted in the AH forum.

    Not to worry though, for such levies in the past have proven unsustainable, and often deadly


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    gerrybbadd wrote: »
    posted in the AH forum.

    Not to worry though, for such levies in the past have proven unsustainable, and often deadly

    So the bad man came to a bad end, and nobody was ever stabbed ever again...


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    not yet wrote: »
    So the bad man came to a bad end, and nobody was ever stabbed ever again...

    Or were they?


  • Registered Users Posts: 295 ✭✭shrewd


    gerrybbadd wrote: »
    Or were they?

    Said the gardai who found another stabbed victim three blocks away with fresh wounds, and the victim still alive.

    The victim appears to the pointing at something...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 108 ✭✭ZeroImpurities


    shrewd wrote: »
    Said the gardai who found another stabbed victim three blocks away with fresh wounds, and the victim still alive.

    The victim appears to the pointing at something...

    The victim refused to give their name and was arrested under Section 24 of the assholes act.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Just then, the victim's silence was cracked, with a ripper of a fart, a sound not heard the likes of since Hiroshima was bombed back in 1945.

    Embarrassed, the victim looked to the guard and said...


  • Registered Users Posts: 795 ✭✭✭kingchess


    may I have the use of your hat and some toilet paper please


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    The guard, being good and thick responded - "Twas far from toilet paper and hats you were reared, now get into the back of that car, 'fore I bursht your hole with me big toe"

    The vicitim complied, as he didn't want to have to receive stitches to his balloon knot, but not before he uttered...


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,459 ✭✭✭LizzieJones


    gerrybbadd wrote: »
    not before he uttered...

    What in the hell is Justin Bieber doing here?


Advertisement