Let's create a story together

LizzieJones

Mr. RED wrote: »

Except; something wasn't as it seemed. A strange though came over Stabby the hobo...

Did he remember to pay his tv license fee?

Mr. RED

LizzieJones wrote: »

Did he remember to pay his tv license fee?

Yes! Of course his tv license fee!! Or was his road tax? The kids! He had to pick up the kids from band practice!!

No. Stabby the hobo was suffering major hallucinations due to his chronic drinking and sleeping rough. Sometimes he thought he was still the person he used to be. Before his life fell apart. He was a misunderstood type. Deeply misunderstood. Sure; he could be violent; but he had a softer a side. A gentle side. But none of that mattered. He was homeless; and crazy. He didn't have a home; so he DEFINITELY did not have a TV.

He chuckled! "A TV license fee" "You're going mad Stabby you old dog" he thought to himself. He took a sip out of his bottle. It was nearly empty. But not as empty as my life; he cried.

Suddenly out of nowhere; a suitcase fell from the sky! FULL OF MONEY! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF EURO!!!

Finally this it. "This is a sign!" he thought. He vowed to clean his life up at that very moment and set about making things right. Things were finally looking up for Stabby the hobo.

But something that DEFINITELY was not his TV license fee, was bugging him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. How could a suitcase full of money just fall from the sky??

Stabby woke up. He had drunken himself into another one of his drunken stupors and had been dreaming all along. He got up and stumbled into the streetlight. There was a menace in the air. Something didn't seem right thought Stabby the hobo.

"HEY!!!!" shouted a voice in the distance! Stabby recognised the voice. It was Kev!!

Kev was out of breath and breathing heavily.

"I've been looking for you Stab"

"Why; what's up?" said Stabby the hobo!

"I've got some bad news Stab. It's not good Stab.

"Just tell me already!! Tell me!!...

LizzieJones

Mr. RED wrote: »

"Just tell me already!! Tell me!!...

Kev paused for a moment before speaking and he rubbed the fresh whisker growth on his chin.

Smidge

Mr. RED wrote: »

Yes! Of course his tv license fee!! Or was his road tax? The kids! He had to pick up the kids from band practice!!

No. Stabby the hobo was suffering major hallucinations due to his chronic drinking and sleeping rough. Sometimes he thought he was still the person he used to be. Before his life fell apart. He was a misunderstood type. Deeply misunderstood. Sure; he could be violent; but he had a softer a side. A gentle side. But none of that mattered. He was homeless; and crazy. He didn't have a home; so he DEFINITELY did not have a TV.

He chuckled! "A TV license fee" "You're going mad Stabby you old dog" he thought to himself. He took a sip out of his bottle. It was nearly empty. But not as empty as my life; he cried.

Suddenly out of nowhere; a suitcase fell from the sky! FULL OF MONEY! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF EURO!!!

Finally this it. "This is a sign!" he thought. He vowed to clean his life up at that very moment and set about making things right. Things were finally looking up for Stabby the hobo.

But something that DEFINITELY was not his TV license fee, was bugging him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. How could a suitcase full of money just fall from the sky??

Stabby woke up. He had drunken himself into another one of his drunken stupors and had been dreaming all along. He got up and stumbled into the streetlight. There was a menace in the air. Something didn't seem right thought Stabby the hobo.

"HEY!!!!" shouted a voice in the distance! Stabby recognised the voice. It was Kev!!

Kev was out of breath and breathing heavily.

"I've been looking for you Stab"

"Why; what's up?" said Stabby the hobo!

"I've got some bad news Stab. It's not good Stab.

"Just tell me already!! Tell me!!...

Kev finally caught his breath just enough to relay the news to Stabby.

"Remember last week during one of your very rare moments of clarity how you told me your mother had finally agreed to come and see you after all of these years? And how you thought that something wasn't quite right about that considering the circumstances surrounding the last time you saw one another? Well, you know the guy with the one eye Stabby? He hangs round on 54th? What the hell is his name?"

"Do you mean Blinky Patterson, Kev?" said Stabby

"Thats him....well you know how he always said he heard voices but we knew it was the old radio system he used to listen to all the cops on. Paranoid fukcer. Anyway he came ranting and raving that 2 planes had colided almost right above here. One of them coming from Detroit and I know your mother was on it like you said. Just thought you'd wanna hear...you know just in case..."

Stabby thought for a moment..

"Was that all he said Kev?"

"Nah man, you know blinky. He was talking all sorts about stuff falling from the planes an sh1t. Suitcases landing everywhere. Guy was in a bad way man"

Stabby knew. He just knew.
He ran back to where he had been sleeping.
He didnt imagine it.
The suitcase of money was right there and inside was a letter from his mother saying........

LizzieJones

Smidge wrote: »

The suitcase of money was right there and inside was a letter from his mother saying........

Please pay the tv license fee.

Mr. RED

Smidge wrote: »

Kev finally caught his breath just enough to relay the news to Stabby.

"Remember last week during one of your very rare moments of clarity how you told me your mother had finally agreed to come and see you after all of these years? And how you thought that something wasn't quite right about that considering the circumstances surrounding the last time you saw one another? Well, you know the guy with the one eye Stabby? He hangs round on 54th? What the hell is his name?"

"Do you mean Blinky Patterson, Kev?" said Stabby

"Thats him....well you know how he always said he heard voices but we knew it was the old radio system he used to listen to all the cops on. Paranoid fukcer. Anyway he came ranting and raving that 2 planes had colided almost right above here. One of them coming from Detroit and I know your mother was on it like you said. Just thought you'd wanna hear...you know just in case..."

Stabby thought for a moment..

"Was that all he said Kev?"

"Nah man, you know blinky. He was talking all sorts about stuff falling from the planes an sh1t. Suitcases landing everywhere. Guy was in a bad way man"

Stabby knew. He just knew.
He ran back to where he had been sleeping.
He didnt imagine it.
The suitcase of money was right there and inside was a letter from his mother saying........

Dearest Stably;

I hope you are well. I can't write for long; it appears our plane is about to crash into another! I hope this letter finds you. I'm sure it will! I will be quick. Stably; I won the lottery; I was coming here to help you with money and things. I must go now.

Mother.






It would appear she had put the note in the case right before taking the hammer from her handbag and smashing the window that she was sat beside. It would also appear that she jumped from the plane just before the collision! She was hurtled towards the earth at great speed; with the suitcase held tightly in her hands! The wind blowing her hair!!

Being a keen parachute jumper; she always had her trusty chute kept in her handbag just in case.

"But if this isn't one of my drunken stupors; and I have a suitcase full of money from mother - then where is mother?" Said Stably with confusion on his face.

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!

Stabby the hobo looked up to the trees above him. He could hear his mothers voice but he could not see her. Then, all of a sudden he saw what looked to be his mothers' parachute trapped in one of the trees about 30-40 metres down the street. He ran down and started to climb the tree in which his mother had been lodged.

"Mother! he cried!

"Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!"

"Where are you mother?" "Are you ok?"

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!

"I can't"

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!! Stably! Stably….on….m over here!! Stably!! Stably……ssson… 'm………here……

That's strange thought Stabby the hobo! His mothers voice sounded like an old cassette tape whose batteries had just died. Stabby found his mother; or at least what he thought was - until he realised it was in fact a ladies jacket with a pocket cassette recorder in the pocket. Something didn't seem right.

"Don't move a muscle Stab!!"

Stabby turned round too see Kev holding a gun to poor Stabbys mother.

"Give me the money Stab!"

"K-Man" "No!" "how could you?" "I thought we were…

"Save it Stab! You know how it is!! It's not personal"

A flash of rage descended over Stabby and he needed to think fast. What could he do? How was he going to get out of this one?

Ibetit

Mr. RED wrote: »

Dearest Stably;

I hope you are well. I can't write for long; it appears our plane is about to crash into another! I hope this letter finds you. I'm sure it will! I will be quick. Stably; I won the lottery; I was coming here to help you with money and things. I must go now.

Mother.






It would appear she had put the note in the case right before taking the hammer from her handbag and smashing the window that she was sat beside. It would also appear that she jumped from the plane just before the collision! She was hurtled towards the earth at great speed; with the suitcase held tightly in her hands! The wind blowing her hair!!

Being a keen parachute jumper; she always had her trusty chute kept in her handbag just in case.

"But if this isn't one of my drunken stupors; and I have a suitcase full of money from mother - then where is mother?" Said Stably with confusion on his face.

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!

Stabby the hobo looked up to the trees above him. He could hear his mothers voice but he could not see her. Then, all of a sudden he saw what looked to be his mothers' parachute trapped in one of the trees about 30-40 metres down the street. He ran down and started to climb the tree in which his mother had been lodged.

"Mother! he cried!

"Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!"

"Where are you mother?" "Are you ok?"

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!!

"I can't"

Stably! Stably son I'm over here!! Stably!! Stably! Stably….on….m over here!! Stably!! Stably……ssson… 'm………here……

That's strange thought Stabby the hobo! His mothers voice sounded like an old cassette tape whose batteries had just died. Stabby found his mother; or at least what he thought was - until he realised it was in fact a ladies jacket with a pocket cassette recorder in the pocket. Something didn't seem right.

"Don't move a muscle Stab!!"

Stabby turned round too see Kev holding a gun to poor Stabbys mother.

"Give me the money Stab!"

"K-Man" "No!" "how could you?" "I thought we were…

"Save it Stab! You know how it is!! It's not personal"

A flash of rage descended over Stabby and he needed to think fast. What could he do? How was he going to get out of this one?

My poor english....you can write a book Mr. Red. Regardless of some bad words on me, I like you

Mr. RED

Ibetit wrote: »

My poor english....you can write a book Mr. Red. Regardless of some bad words on me, I like you

Said Ibetit to Mr. Red.

"That's kind of you" thought Mr. Red "Thank you" he said.

"We will ALL write a book!!"! Declared Mr. Red! "The adventures of the beautiful princess; Kev, Stabby the hobo and friends!

All of a sudden; Mr. Red - having not read the opening post properly; realised the aim of the game was to provide one sentence per post.

"How did I miss that!!" he thought. "I know the rules from now on" Said Mr. Red loudly!!

"Ssssssshhhhh!" said Ibetit. "They'll hear us"


A flash of rage descended over Stabby and he...

Annasopra

I thought this was meant to be one liners

Mr. RED

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

I thought this was meant to be one liners

Shouted Joeytheparrot angrily; failing to acknowledge Mr. Reds admission of playing the game incorrectly - as had been noted in the post before him.

LizzieJones

Mr. RED wrote: »

Shouted Joeytheparrot angrily; failing to acknowledge Mr. Reds admission of playing the game incorrectly - as had been noted in the post before him.

"Bend over Mr. Red" exclaimed the voluptous, buxomy brunette through clenched teeth as she picked up a large wooden paddle "You need to be punished!"

stefan idiot jones

LizzieJones wrote: »

"Bend over Mr. Red" exclaimed the voluptous, buxomy brunette through clenched teeth as she picked up a large wooden paddle "You need to be punished!"

She broke the paddle over his head and skewered him through the ribcage, the filthy hound.

Heraldoffreeent

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

She broke the paddle over his head and skewered him through the ribcage, the filthy hound.

Thats what happens when you don't pay your TV licence, now that the Cuddly Mr Rabbit isn't working in the Post Office any more.

Mr. RED

Heraldoffreeent wrote: »

Thats what happens when you don't pay your TV licence, now that the Cuddly Mr Rabbit isn't working in the Post Office any more.

! ! Proclaimed a shocked Mr. Red as he picked himself up; pulling the large wooden paddle which had been rudely and unnecessarily lodged into his ribcage by LizzieJones - all the while thinking: Why and how did I get dragged into this mess?

LizzieJones

Mr. RED wrote: »

! ! Proclaimed a shocked Mr. Red as he picked himself up; pulling the large wooden paddle which had been rudely and unnecessarily lodged into his ribcage by LizzieJones - all the while thinking: Why and how did I get dragged into this mess?

Meanwhile back on the farm .....

Flippyfloppy

The Farmhand proclaimed 'LET THERE BE..'

DakarVert

A Diesel Powered Dildo

diograis

Which was a terrible health hazard

Mr. RED

...to the atmosphere; contributing to global warming at a scale unimaginable to ALL! the best global warming scientists - except for one: Dr. Stabby H'obo; who had just returned from...

Wichita Lineman

Madrid where he had attended a metaphysical conference concerning the prevalence of left hand drive tractors made in Lisbon that were now turning into..............

delw

were now turning into..............transforming robots controlled by Dr. Stabby H'obo

Mr. RED

delw wrote: »

were now turning into..............transforming robots controlled by Dr. Stabby H'obo

Stabby woke up from another one of his drunken stupors in which he had imagined he was a doctor working from Madrid; where he had attended a metaphysical conference concerning the prevalence of left hand drive tractors made in Lisbon that were now turning into transforming robots controlled by himself, Dr. Stabby H'obo; but the truth is...

stmol32

And that's when Luger Armstrong exhibited the impetousness that had made him famous in espionage circles (the same impetousness that stopped him reading 6 pages of an internet thread to make sure he fitted the narrative) he drew his company issued .45 and drew a bead on thetarget.

It was then he thought back to his days as a young child in the Nazi concentration camp and how, if he fulfilled his mission, he would be unable to care for his severely disabled brother (autism like... nothing debilitating in a chair or anything),

He shrugged those concerns off and realised if he killed the African warlord in his sights he would open the way for the eggheads in sciencecorp inc. to be able to finally cure IBS so he squoze the trigger and changed the world.

BOOM...Oscar bait....RIGHT THERE

Heraldoffreeent

Luger hadn't noticed that a dark shape was moving behind him from the left. Oh no!! it was Stabby Mc Stabbens, who, with a cruel glint in his eye thrust forward with the sharpist and pointyist uranium tipped 3 ft lance the world has ever seen, piercing Luger in his groin, splitting his wedding tackle in two, penetrating his stomach, heart and neck, to emerge from his neck and re-enter his head, upward and through his mouth and into his brain, which was promptly irradiated.

Flippyfloppy

Even so, he felt fine! 'Oh no' he thought. 'If I don't scarper on I'll be late for the bus'

Asarlai

Little did he realise that there would be no bus - it had broken down on the Glasthule Road and the bus people said they would not be out to fix it until Tuesday at the earliest.

stefan idiot jones

The bus people were secretly working for Irish Water and were trying to prevent him proceeding any further, he said 'fcuk this' and took out his...

talla10

Took out his Iphone and opened the Hailo app. The nearest taxi was 7 minutes away. 'At last a bit of luck' he thought until, out the corner of his eye he spied....

LizzieJones

talla10 wrote: »

Took out his Iphone and opened the Hailo app. The nearest taxi was 7 minutes away. 'At last a bit of luck' he thought until, out the corner of his eye he spied....

a very sultry redheaded woman walking towards him.

Asarlai

His manhood imperceptibly stirred. As did his penis.