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Living with your parents at 25.

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    #152
    Felexicon
    Registered Users Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭Felexicon


    Ariella Colossal Rainfall wrote: »
    If your home is near where you work though and you like living there why would you just move out for the sake of it. Its just throwing money away, which you could either be saving up for buying/building your own house or simply just have more disposable income for spending on yourself every month.

    As Im studying for a postgrad I'm living on a good bit less than 22k per year (though I get some extra money from my parents if I need it), have a nice car (though savings helped buy it) and pay for rent/going out but I would without doubt live at home if I was close enough to where I study and save myself a few 1000 every year in rent.

    If I was on 50k a year and worked near home there is a good chance I would still be living at home to be honest and save the price of rent towards getting my own place down the line.
    Oh dear.

    This is not cool bro


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    #153
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Felexicon wrote: »
    Oh dear.

    This is not cool bro

    Why exactly? They are happy to help out the odd time I'm stuck come the end of the month and they would rather me live a comfortable life rather than have to scrape by. I also help out on the farm at home when I'm around home so its not all for nothing. Postgrad funding does not leave you very flush you know.


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    #154
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    joetoad wrote: »
    I was able to live on 22k a year, 400 rent for a one bed apartment, have a car, go out and get drunk on weekends. Why would you need 30k, I think you could manage it on 25k getting 1800 a month unless your living out of your means


    In Dublin?


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    #155
    Bench Press
    Closed Accounts Posts: 262 ✭✭Bench Press


    I'm 36, I had to move home for a few months after my relationship ended and I couldn't afford to keep paying my mortgage on my own, now I have I rented my own house out and am moving to UK for a new job soon, some times circumstances dictate


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    #156
    Felexicon
    Registered Users Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭Felexicon


    Ariella Colossal Rainfall wrote: »
    Why exactly? They are happy to help out the odd time I'm stuck come the end of the month and they would rather me live a comfortable life rather than have to scrape by. I also help out on the farm at home when I'm around home so its not all for nothing. Postgrad funding does not leave you very flush you know.
    Getting money off your parents at the end of a month because you can't control your spending is not cool once you pass the age of 18.


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    #157
    santana75
    Registered Users Posts: 1,303 ✭✭✭santana75


    Bench Press wrote: »
    I'm 36, I had to move home for a few months after my relationship ended and I couldn't afford to keep paying my mortgage on my own, now I have I rented my own house out and am moving to UK for a new job soon, some times circumstances dictate

    Same thing happened to a friend of mine. Marriage ended and he couldnt afford to pay the mortgage by himself so he moved back in with his parents until he was in a position to get back on his feet.
    I think these unwritten rules in society, such as you have to be out of the family home by a certain age, are destructive. That bloke in question was so ashamed of himself for moving back in with his folks he told only one or two people. He bought so much into what society dictates you should or shouldnt be that it was causing him serious distress. Really vunerable people end up taking their own lives because of unwritten society rules and that shouldnt happen.


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    #158
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Felexicon wrote: »
    Getting money off your parents at the end of a month because you can't control your spending is not cool once you pass the age of 18.

    Whats with the "not cool" statement, what exactly is wrong with it if they can afford to and don't mind, they offer money a lot more often than I take it and have even transferred money without even asking me.

    As I said they know I don't earn much at the moment and would rather give me a top up once in a while (its not like it happens every month) to live a more enjoyable life than having to be scraping by. I also said I often help out quite a lot at home especially during the summer so its not just pure hand outs either most of the time.

    You also cant just make a statement like once you pass 18 you shouldn't get money, how would my sister who is 21 pay for accommodation, living expenses etc during college when she has no income at all.


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    #159
    joetoad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 295 ✭✭joetoad


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    In Dublin?

    Yea in Dublinn city centre, phibsborough. I got 1620 a month. Rent was 400 a month, bills including car loan was around 200 a month. That left me roughly 230 a week to spend roughly how I wished


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    #160
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    People can live at home all they want but don't go convincing yourselves that the rest of us are debt-laden in negative equity married before 30 with 5 kids. There is a middle ground you know.

    In fairness, he/she said they'd rather be living at home than have their own place and be in debt. I don't think anyone here is implying all people with a mortgage are in debt.
    Cheerful Spring wrote: »
    I think nobody should be at home with parents if they have a Job or have a longterm girlfriend or boyfriend. Two people supporting each other could easily manage the rent.

    Interesting you bring that up. If somebody is in a longterm relationship with someone then its different. Having another person to relieve the financial burden of rent would make a big difference. Plus you'd have a bit of privacy for a bit of the 'how's your father'. ;) A single person with nobody to share with may not be able to afford rent.
    PhlegmyMoses wrote: »
    So basically; you have no social skills by the time you are almost 30 so no girl\bloke will have you so you have no idea when you'll move out.

    Why would you assume adults still living at home have no social skills? It's amazing how so many people have this notion that anyone still living at home is a child who can't take care of themselves. You're either a mature adult or you're not - simple as that.


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    #161
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    Ariella Colossal Rainfall wrote: »
    Whats with the "not cool" statement, what exactly is wrong with it if they can afford to and don't mind, they offer money a lot more often than I take it and have even transferred money without even asking me.

    As I said they know I don't earn much at the moment and would rather give me a top up once in a while (its not like it happens every month) to live a more enjoyable life than having to be scraping by. I also said I often help out quite a lot at home especially during the summer so its not just pure hand outs either most of the time.

    You also cant just make a statement like once you pass 18 you shouldn't get money, how would my sister who is 21 pay for accommodation, living expenses etc during college when she has no income at all.

    with all due respect your sister is an adult, as are you, therefore your parents should not be obliged to pay for you or your sisters upkeep, and you should adjust your standard of living to your means. again these are skills responsible adults learn when they are without a mommy and daddy to bail them out like you have.

    suppose your parents weren't around at all,

    how would either of you be getting by in your current predicaments?


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    #162
    joetoad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 295 ✭✭joetoad


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    with all due respect your sister is an adult, as are you, therefore your parents should not be obliged to pay for you or your sisters upkeep, and you should adjust your standard of living to your means. again these are skills responsible adults learn when they are without a mommy and daddy to bail them out like you have.

    suppose your parents weren't around at all,

    how would either of you be getting by in your current predicaments?

    Get the top up grant to go to college that's how if they had no parents or if the parents had very low income. Unfortunatly college grants go on the parents income if you didn't realize. Do you realize we are in a recession? I prefer living away from home and would rather live at home than drawing feckin rent allowance


    All these skills you are blabbing about is bull crap. The only way you learn these "magical skills" is when you get a proper job and have rent, car,mortgage etc to pay for. A lot of people stay with their parents to save for mortgages as well. Nothing wrong with it


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    #163
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    joetoad wrote: »
    Get the top up grant to go to college that's how if they had no parents or if the parents had very low income. Unfortunatly college grants go on the parents income if you didn't realize. Do you realize we are in a recession? I prefer living away from home and would rather live at home than drawing feckin rent allowance

    college grants have been reduced to nothing so if they were availing of them it wouldn't make a difference.

    and what ever about the recession how do other grown adults survive if thats the problem here?


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    #164
    joetoad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 295 ✭✭joetoad


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    college grants have been reduced to nothing so if they were availing of them it wouldn't make a difference.

    and what ever about the recession how do other grown adults survive if thats the problem here?

    Top up grant and normal grants are not reduced to half nothing. The top up grant would pay all your fees and accomadation and food for the year. Normal 3k grant would pay your accomadation and all your fees for the year.

    There is nothing living wrong with parents on the dole if you can't get a job and nothing wrong living with parents even if you have a job to save money.
    Its the persons own choice. They will move out when they are ready


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    #165
    leanonme
    Registered Users Posts: 236 ✭✭leanonme


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    with all due respect your sister is an adult, as are you, therefore your parents should not be obliged to pay for you or your sisters upkeep, and you should adjust your standard of living to your means. again these are skills responsible adults learn when they are without a mommy and daddy to bail them out like you have.

    suppose your parents weren't around at all,

    how would either of you be getting by in your current predicaments?

    I presume if her parents were not around at all, i.e dead, then she would be entitled to a full grant in college which would go along way to supporting her self. She did say her sister is in full time education.

    I find it funny when people say that people can never grow up if living at home with there parents. I wonder how most of our parents generation survived as in most house holds, one of the children would have continued to live with there parents, and would have move a wife and children in too.

    I moved away for college at 18, and moved back home when I finished college last year at 22 as I knew it would take me a while to get a job, and I still have not found a proper paying job but am on an internship.

    When I moved back home, my Boy friend also moved into my family home, as it made sense for us, and my dad was happy with arrangement. My self and my bf are unemployed, he is in a partime course, and I am on an internship so our income is very limited, we both knew there was no point in forking out for rent when we had no proper income, and my dad would have given out if we were paying rent when he is in a big house all by him self.

    Our arrange suits both myself and my boyfriend, and my dad, as it saves me and my boyfriend money, it means my dad has someone to cook and clean so he never goes without dinner and no longer pays for a cleaner, and if he needs a hand on the farm we are around most of the time. It also insures that he has company in the house and is not siting on his own five night a week. which he use to be before we moved in.

    No one on boards knows another familys circumstances, they might think they know it, but they will never know all of the details.


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    #166
    Fighting Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 7,065 ✭✭✭Fighting Irish


    I hate when people think there is an age where you have to have certain things done by

    getting your own place
    having a gf/bf
    getting married
    having kids
    blah blah


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    #167
    joetoad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 295 ✭✭joetoad


    Felexicon wrote: »
    Getting money off your parents at the end of a month because you can't control your spending is not cool once you pass the age of 18.

    And why isn't it? I would love an explanation?


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    #168
    Tearwave
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭Tearwave


    Fighting Irish wrote: »
    I hate when people think there is an age where you have to have certain things done by

    getting your own place 26
    having a gf/bf 18
    getting married 31
    having kids 35
    blah blah 23

    There ya are now


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    #169
    Felexicon
    Registered Users Posts: 3,404 ✭✭✭Felexicon


    joetoad wrote: »
    And why isn't it? I would love an explanation?
    Because you should have a bit more pride in yourself than taking hand outs from Mammy and Daddy once you're an adult


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    #170
    joetoad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 295 ✭✭joetoad


    Felexicon wrote: »
    Because you should have a bit more pride in yourself than taking hand outs from Mammy and Daddy once you're an adult

    What are you supposed to do then? How would expect a student to pay for college if they can't get a job?

    What pride are ya talking about? I'd more admire someone living with their parents till their 30 and then get their mortgage than a dole hound moving out at 18 with no intent of ever getting a decent job


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    #171
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    In fairness, he/she said they'd rather be living at home than have their own place and be in debt. I don't think anyone here is implying all people with a mortgage are in debt.

    Wouldn't we all?

    I understand what he said but I'm saying there is an option c: living within your means in a rented apartment, which he never mentioned (which I found strange).


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    #172
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Fighting Irish wrote: »
    I hate when people think there is an age where you have to have certain things done by

    getting your own place
    having a gf/bf
    getting married
    having kids
    blah blah

    We're only talking about moving out of your parents house here....


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    #173
    Fighting Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 7,065 ✭✭✭Fighting Irish


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    We're only talking about moving out of your parents house here....

    sorry, i thought we were talking about scrambled eggs


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    #174
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    Fighting Irish wrote: »
    I hate when people think there is an age where you have to have certain things done by

    getting your own place 26
    having a gf/bf 18
    getting married 31
    having kids 35
    blah blah 23
    Tearwave wrote: »
    There ya are now

    Damn, I never did any blah blah at 23 - I'm such a sap. :(


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    #175
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    I couldn't have done it ay 25. Will the girlfriend replace mammy at some point?


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    #176
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Fighting Irish wrote: »
    sorry, i thought we were talking about scrambled eggs

    Because you seem to have got confused with bringing in a load of unrelated stuff like marriage and kids.


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    #177
    hfallada
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,180 ✭✭✭hfallada


    I had a religion teacher who was 35 and still living at home. She spent all her pay cheques on **** and a complete pain in the hole.

    I suppose the fact she teachs religion explains a lot


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    #178
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    hoodwinked wrote: »
    with all due respect your sister is an adult, as are you, therefore your parents should not be obliged to pay for you or your sisters upkeep, and you should adjust your standard of living to your means. again these are skills responsible adults learn when they are without a mommy and daddy to bail them out like you have.

    No they are not obliged to help us but they want to and last time I checked there was no law against it.
    hoodwinked wrote: »
    suppose your parents weren't around at all,

    how would either of you be getting by in your current predicaments?

    They are around so its irrelevant but without their help there is no doubt that myself or my two sisters would not have had the opportunities that we have/had.

    Personally at the moment I could get by without their help as I do have an income and its very rarely that I receive money from them but the fact I do means I live a much more enjoyable life (I am also not living at home so I am paying rent, bills etc). However I would not be where I am if it wasn't for their help in the past. For instance despite being plenty of work at the time my parents insisted that I quit my part-time job during my final year of undergrad in order to concentrate fully on my studies and have sometime to relax rather than work and they would give me money. Because of this I was able to get an excellent result which got me directly into a PhD which I am almost finished now.

    My sister who is currently still in college had no work opportunities during her undergrad so without help from my parents would probably never been able to go, she is now doing a postgrad in the UK which has a large amount of work experience on top of course work so even if there were job she wouldn't have time and in any case my parents wouldn't agree with her working during such an important year. But without their help she would simply not be able to do the course which would severely limit her future employment opportunities.

    My other sister is currently working happily in her area of study however she started a different course originally and didn't like it, dropped out and my parents paid the fees for her to redo first year in a different subject which she is now as I said working in for a few years and happy doing it.

    People here are taking about it like its something to be ashamed about, I look on it very differently and count us very lucky.


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    #179
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Ariella Colossal Rainfall wrote: »
    No they are not obliged to help us but they want to and last time I checked there was no law against it.



    They are around so its irrelevant but without their help there is no doubt that myself or my two sisters would not have had the opportunities that we have/had.

    Personally at the moment I could get by without their help as I do have an income and its very rarely that I receive money from them but the fact I do means I live a much more enjoyable life. However I would not be where I am if it wasn't for their help in the past. For instance despite being plenty of work at the time my parents insisted that I quit my part-time job during my final year of undergrad in order to concentrate fully on my studies and have sometime to relax rather than work and they would give me money. Because of this I was able to get an excellent result which got me directly into a PhD which I am almost finished now.

    My sister who is currently still in college had no work opportunities during her undergrad so without help from my parents would probably never been able to go, she is now doing a postgrad in the UK which has a large amount of work experience on top of course work so even if there were job she wouldn't have time and in any case my parents wouldn't agree with her working during such an important year. But without their help she would simply not be able to do the course which would severely limit her future employment opportunities.

    My other sister is currently working happily in her area of study however she started a different course originally and didn't like it, dropped out and my parents paid the fees for her to redo first year in a different subject which she is now as I said working in for a few years and happy doing it.

    People here are taking about it like its something to be ashamed about, I look on it very differently and count us very lucky.

    It sounds like it suits you all, so I can't see a problem with it and you are studying, which will eventually (hopefully) get you a job to stand on your own two feet.

    I can't see the problem with the situation above. No one is taking the pee by the sounds of it.


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    #180
    homemadecider
    Registered Users Posts: 1,858 ✭✭✭homemadecider


    Fighting Irish wrote: »
    I hate when people think there is an age where you have to have certain things done by

    getting your own place
    having a gf/bf
    getting married
    having kids
    blah blah

    Single and bitter, is we?


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    #181
    Stereomaniac
    Registered Users Posts: 6,166 ✭✭✭Stereomaniac


    I wouldn't call myself single and bitter, but I have had a lot of incarnations, houses, partners.


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