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Living with your parents at 25.

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    #62
    HondaSami
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,713 ✭✭✭HondaSami


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Is there a set number of working holiday visa's they hand out? Thought I have until im 31, which is in september. I was going to apply in june or july. Is that time enough?

    Have you not researched it?


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    #63
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    Some of the saddest people I have met are people who stayed living with parents until the last parent died. In many cases the house had to be sold. Their complete lack of self management skills and coping ability was tragic. A person is a child until they move out no matter what age.


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    #64
    Strawberry Fields
    Closed Accounts Posts: 611 ✭✭✭Strawberry Fields


    Jo King wrote: »
    Some of the saddest people I have met are people who stayed living with parents until the last parent died. In many cases the house had to be sold. Their complete lack of self management skills and coping ability was tragic. A person is a child until they move out no matter what age.

    I know people who went to prison before they moved out.
    Don't see that as a child. Or ones who moved back after.


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    #65
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    Jo King wrote: »
    Some of the saddest people I have met are people who stayed living with parents until the last parent died. In many cases the house had to be sold. Their complete lack of self management skills and coping ability was tragic. A person is a child until they move out no matter what age.

    And if they are the ones paying the mortgage, paying the bills, doing the house maintenance, running the household, subsidising a parent who can't manage their money?


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    #66
    0ph0rce0
    Registered Users Posts: 3,928 ✭✭✭0ph0rce0


    Gotta love some of the high horse brigade on here.

    Whats the big deal??? It's a generation where everyone is ****ed money wise.

    If you cant afford to move out then your option is to sleep on the street.

    I've been out since i was 18 then had to move back when i was 27, wasn't there long but i had no choice.

    Its hardly sad to be living at home when there is no other option.

    Like others say cough up some dough and help out and there's no problem and if someone says anything like "That's Sad" Tell them to go **** themselves.


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    #67
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    As long as your parents are happy to have you there then it's all good. 25 is not that old to be living at home. 45 and you might have a problem.


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    #68
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    CaraMay wrote: »
    I think it's ridiculous to live with your parents as a grown adult.

    They are more than parents - they are a couple in their own right and should be given some privacy to live as a couple once they have their family reared. You wouldn't move in with another adult couple would you?

    Move out and give then their lives back.

    If I didn't have to I wouldn't see my parents for more than 5 minutes a week despite living in the same house as them, not sure how much I'm impacting on their lives.


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    #69
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    Yeh, why is it pretended that those who live in their parents' house are automatically not independent? And why is it pretended that it's always a choice and not a temporary measure?


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    #70
    Steve O
    Closed Accounts Posts: 595 ✭✭✭Steve O


    Madam_X wrote: »
    Yeh, why is it pretended that those who live in their parents' house are automatically not independent? And why is it pretended that it's always a choice and not a temporary measure?

    It's a popular trait of people in this country to kick others when they're already down.


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    #71
    Solair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,230 ✭✭✭Solair


    books4sale wrote: »
    It's a great point and when looking deeper quite true.

    On another note, I know of some married couples who had to move home with parents, lost the plot during the boom or have hit hard times, no job, no income and have to start all over again.

    I wouldn't be at all judgemental about them, it wasn't their plan but that's life, you got to suck it up sometimes to start moving forward again.

    As for those who judge, leave your snobbery at the door, life has a strange way of levelling the playing field and dealing out the medicine when you least expect it to.

    Yup, I've a few friends in that kind of boat.
    It's not ideal, but it's better than living in the car.

    Also, it very much depends on how big the folks' house is. Living at home in a 2-bed terrace house, a large suburban house and a castle are quite different experiences lol


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    #72
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I found when I moved out of home it helped me cease using annoying abbreviations.

    That's nice.


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    #73
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    April O Neill wrote: »
    That's nice.

    Thanks. I thought you might take ish with me pointing it out.


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    #74
    Truncheon Rouge
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 388 ✭✭Truncheon Rouge


    There are some convincing practical reasons to move out however.

    I mean it can put you off your stroke if you can hear your dad dropping one off from your bedroom.

    Or people downstairs laughing.


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    #75
    Solair
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,230 ✭✭✭Solair


    Truncheon Rouge wrote: »
    There are some convincing practical reasons to move out however.

    I mean it can put you off your stroke if you can hear your dad dropping one off from your bedroom.

    Or people downstairs laughing.

    That's just poor construction standards :)


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    #76
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    Miss Lockhart wrote: »
    And if they are the ones paying the mortgage, paying the bills, doing the house maintenance, running the household, subsidising a parent who can't manage their money?

    They are still children. They are letting their parents make slaves of them.


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    #77
    PhlegmyMoses
    Registered Users Posts: 11,906 ✭✭✭✭PhlegmyMoses


    I moved out at 18 and moved back in for the final year of college to try to concentrate on the degree, which was a good choice. I then had a year at home working odd jobs until I started to get full time work, by which stage I had moved out again with the missus at 23. 27 now and haven't been back since.

    The biggest difference I've noticed is that my relationship with my parents improved massively. We always got on well but the parent\child relationship kind of ended. Instead of unasked for life lectures, you get advice if you solicit it.

    My advice to anyone is to move out if you can. It's a great life experience and the kind that everyone needs to eventually have. It's easy to fall into the habit of paying your mam 50 quid a week for bills, cooked food and ironed clothes but some of the saddest most helpless people I know live at home into their 30s. I know that may offend some of the outliers to this generalisation but have a think about some of the people you know who still live at home in their 30s. Very few success stories there.


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    #78
    Miss Lockhart
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭Miss Lockhart


    Jo King wrote: »
    They are still children. They are letting their parents make slaves of them.

    Or just living their life and caring for somebody they love in what happens to be their family home.


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    #79
    April O Neill
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,305 ✭✭✭April O Neill


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Thanks. I thought you might take ish with me pointing it out.

    What bothers you bothers you. Meh.


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    #80
    books4sale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 595 ✭✭✭books4sale


    HardLuckWoman wrote: »
    Is there a set number of working holiday visa's they hand out? Thought I have until im 31, which is in september. I was going to apply in june or july. Is that time enough?

    The number is limited

    You have to apply for the visa and have it granted before you hit 31, if you apply now and are granted then you'll have until Apr/May 2014 to enter Australia.

    Sept is leaving it very late, with the way things are in Irelans, these are being snapped up, i'd advise you to enquire about it this week.


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    #81
    wexie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,480 ✭✭✭wexie


    Karpops wrote: »
    ....because I've two cousins the exact same age as me who have all moved out long ago (both with babies and mortgages at the moment)

    Just guessing now so my apologies if I'm wrong.....but....I'd wager a guess neither one of them will have a postgraduate degree?

    If you're 25 you'll have plenty of time to get a house, mortgage kids etc. etc. Pretty bloody hard to go get a (postgraduate) degree once you have all that, but a lot easier to get all that with a degree.

    You're doing it the right way around and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you're being good to your parents, helping out, cleaning up after yourself then there's nothing wrong with still living at home. However weird it might sound, you're getting a headstart.


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    #82
    books4sale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 595 ✭✭✭books4sale


    PhlegmyMoses wrote: »
    Very few success stories there.

    What's a success story?

    Fact is ....success stories have nothing to do with living at home, next door, in the next city or on the far side of the planet.

    People who are successful are determined, hardworking and will cut corners and penny pinch every last penny to get to where they want to go, if that means moving home with parents then they will do it.

    Anyway I think I will point to one of the biggest success stories on this planet who FYI was living with his parents in his 30's, Simon Cowell.


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    #83
    wolfpawnat
    Registered Users Posts: 6,124 ✭✭✭wolfpawnat


    I moved out at 19, and was glad to get out. My mother couldn't understand why I didn't want to move back. She was never there which meant it would have been great, but it meant I had to raise my little sister and well, that brat was not my problem!

    Some people move back in with their parents because they cannot find work, and that is an all too common occurrence in this climate, but here is one I found interesting, my friend moved back home after her mother died because her dad could not afford the mortgage and bills alone and she stayed for the last 18 months of the mortgage. Also they worked different hours so there was always there with the dog. Not ever parent owns the house and the little bit of help with the mortgage/bills is a big help, especially if one of the parents in retired or now unemployed. And not everyone lets mammy do all the cooking, or doesn't mow the garden, Jesus, talk about stereotyping!


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    #84
    Karpops
    Registered Users Posts: 82 ✭✭Karpops


    wexie wrote: »
    Just guessing now so my apologies if I'm wrong.....but....I'd wager a guess neither one of them will have a postgraduate degree?

    If you're 25 you'll have plenty of time to get a house, mortgage kids etc. etc. Pretty bloody hard to go get a (postgraduate) degree once you have all that, but a lot easier to get all that with a degree.

    You're doing it the right way around and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As long as you're being good to your parents, helping out, cleaning up after yourself then there's nothing wrong with still living at home. However weird it might sound, you're getting a headstart.


    No they don't, and that's very lovely for you to say :)


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    #85
    marialouise
    Registered Users Posts: 483 ✭✭marialouise


    p.s. happy birthday op!


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    #86
    wandatowell
    Registered Users Posts: 8,435 ✭✭✭wandatowell


    Lived at home till I was 28, The last year was tough.

    A few clashes over stupid stuff but nothing major.


    I call over twice a week now and its bloody great!!


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    #87
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    Miss Lockhart wrote: »
    Or just living their life and caring for somebody they love in what happens to be their family home.

    They can't do it all their lives. Therein lies the problem.


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    #88
    PhlegmyMoses
    Registered Users Posts: 11,906 ✭✭✭✭PhlegmyMoses


    books4sale wrote: »
    What's a success story?

    Fact is ....success stories have nothing to do with living at home, next door, in the next city or on the far side of the planet.

    People who are successful are determined, hardworking and will cut corners and penny pinch every last penny to get to where they want to go, if that means moving home with parents then they will do it.

    Anyway I think I will point to one of the biggest success stories on this planet who FYI was living with his parents in his 30's, Simon Cowell.

    You can dress it up whatever way you like and use people like Simon Cowell - just read up on him there, rich bloke whose dad was an executive at EMI music and got him his in in the record industry - as some form of validation for your position.

    I already stipulated that there will be outliers to that generalisation, there always are, but when I look at real-life examples of people I've come into contact with who live at home in their 30s, there are very few who I'd look at and say "They've done well for themselves."

    Do what makes you happy, I suppose, but it's not unfair to say that moving out of home is a step that all adults should take. Obviously circumstances dictate that some people can't, and this understandable, but I know that I wouldn't be overly happy with my lot in life if was taking a date back to my mam's box-room because I lived there by choice.


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    #89
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    PhlegmyMoses wrote: »
    it's not unfair to say that moving out of home is a step that all adults should take.
    Of course, but as you say, living with the parents is sometimes the only option - and usually only temporary.


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    #90
    PhlegmyMoses
    Registered Users Posts: 11,906 ✭✭✭✭PhlegmyMoses


    Madam_X wrote: »
    Of course, but as you say, living with the parents is sometimes the only option - and usually only temporary.

    Absolutely. I've many friends whose parents kindly let them move in to relieve them of the rent burden so they can save to build or buy a house, or even friends who are professionals who have lost their jobs and eventually left the country having spent a stint at home. Just two examples of many situations that can land you back in the parental home.

    My point was more to do with those who have spent their 20s and 30s living at home with no inclination of moving out due to convenience - of which there are many in this thread.


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    #91
    Just Like Heaven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,132 ✭✭✭Just Like Heaven


    How would you like to become a mod OP?


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