Coming out or not when I'm visiting apartments

baby and crumble

tunedout wrote: »

J*sus there's just no way in hell ye'll see another side of the story.

If someone wants to live with a lad who has the same interests as him then that's discrimination. It's retarded.

I'd say the majority of houses these days selected their tenants in a discriminatory fashion.

Or else we wouldn't have houses of:
girls living together.
Rugby players living together.
Polish people living together.
Indians living together.
Computer gamers living together.
Past travellers living together.
Students living together.

People live with people who have similar interests, that's life. Chr*st are ye all just too busy with ye'r discrimination to notice that this method of selection is best for everyone.

First of all, please don't use the word 'retarded'. There's no need.

Secondly, no-one is saying that selection of housemates doesn't happen. I think we're just trying to break it down and explain why it might be erroneous to automatically dismiss a potential housemate because of their sexuality.

And nobody only fits into one description. You could easily be a gay Polish rugby player. What then?

I also notice you haven't replied to one of my posts in this whole thread. Why is that?

tunedout

baby and crumble wrote: »

And nobody only fits into one description. You could easily be a gay Polish rugby player. What then?

Well I would say it might not be as big a problem then as probably the primary interests in the house are playing rugby and being polish. But I can't comment on that because I neither am polish or play rugby.

But if you are trying to move in with 2/3 lads who love getting locked and riding women and that's what they do best at the weekend then surely it is in everyones interest that they don't start living with a gay.

baby and crumble wrote: »

I also notice you haven't replied to one of my posts in this whole thread. Why is that?

Well I'm sorry if you feel left out, it wasn't intentional. I've been busy and have no real support to deal with some of the insanity that I'm trying to understand here.

tunedout

paulmorro wrote: »

So if you're living in a student house who likes football and cars, you'd let a gay student in who likes football and cars right?

I don't know. Ask a student who likes football and cars I suppose..

baby and crumble

tunedout wrote: »

But if you are trying to move in with 2/3 lads who love getting locked and riding women and that's what they do best at the weekend then surely it is in everyones interest that they don't start living with a gay.

Well aren't you a treat.

tunedout wrote: »

Well I'm sorry if you feel left out, it wasn't intentional. I've been busy and have no real support to deal with some of the insanity that I'm trying to understand here.

This thread really is aggravating you, isn't it? What did you expect was going to happen in a thread in the LGBT forum?

tunedout

baby and crumble wrote: »

Well aren't you a treat.



This thread really is aggravating you, isn't it? What did you expect was going to happen in a thread in the LGBT forum?

I thought they might be respective of other peoples opinions. And respective of what other people might want and not want in their own sitting rooms, without being labelled 'discriminate' and 'homophobic'.

baby and crumble

tunedout wrote: »

I thought they might be respective of other peoples opinions. And respective of what other people might want and not want in their own sitting rooms, without being labelled 'discriminate' and 'homophobic'.

You thought that we'd be ok with someone telling us that the way we have sex is 'sick', that the thought of us holding hands with our partners on the couch is weird and that we'd have nothing in common with people other than gay people? You thought we'd just respect that? Really?

tunedout

baby and crumble wrote: »

You thought that we'd be ok with someone telling us that the way we have sex is 'sick', that the thought of us holding hands with our partners on the couch is weird and that we'd have nothing in common with people other than gay people? You thought we'd just respect that? Really?

I said I shouldn't have used the word sick.

I thought you would respect someones wishes if they didn't want to live with a person based on their sexuality.

If 3 lads who didn't want to live with a rugby player because they are all more into computer gaming then all rugby players should not get offended. There will of course be groups of computer gamers who have no problem living with a rugby player. But those who don't want to should not be labelled as being discriminative and rugbyphobic.

baby and crumble

Perhaps I am just too old for this kind of conversation because I can honestly think of nothing worse than living in a house full of people who are carbon copies of me. How dull.

And honestly, yes I would be put out if I was looking for somewhere to live, found deadly people, we got on really well in every aspect except they were big into rugby and I wasn't, and that was a reason they rejected me. It's one tiny part of a persons life, just like sexuality.

But hey, that's just me.

tunedout

Can I ask if anyone would have any problems with any of the following scenarios: (try be genuine). Or thinks it is not fair. Or in anyway, not logical. Or indeed, in anyway, not for the benefit of everyone.

3 girls who wont leave a male move in because they are looking for a similar aged girl.
3 lads who wont leave a Chinese guy move in because he doesn't have good English and they are looking for someone they can speak with.
2 guys and 2 girls in a student house who wont leave a 62 year old mature student move in because they are all 18-21 and they are looking for someone they can be comfortable around especially if they are bringing back partners or going out late at night etc.
2 very devoted Catholic parents who don't want to leave a Muslim move in because they think he might want to bring his bible and follow Muslim traditions around the house.

slavetothegrind

op you had a narrow escape there, you might have moved in and then experienced some not very pleasant atmosphere!

I've been thinking about it and i don't see a problem in you mentioning it or not to me if i were interviewing you as it is of no interest to me.
I'd be more concerned with your personality, likely conflicts therein based on wierd ideas of cleanliness and collective responsibility and all the other stuff that can cause a nightmare housemate.

BUT, if you were to say it at the early stages and got a not positive reaction you could probably save yourself some time and grief by walking then and there. It's far from a perfect world but you might as well live in a nice part of it!

Good luck with getting somewhere decent in the future

tunedout

baby and crumble wrote: »

Perhaps I am just too old for this kind of conversation because I can honestly think of nothing worse than living in a house full of people who are carbon copies of me. How dull.

And honestly, yes I would be put out if I was looking for somewhere to live, found deadly people, we got on really well in every aspect except they were big into rugby and I wasn't, and that was a reason they rejected me. It's one tiny part of a persons life, just like sexuality.

But hey, that's just me.

Ask Brian O'Driscoll or Ronan O'Gara if rugy is just a tiny part of their life.

Or a band who's passion is their work, if music is a tiny part of their life.
For me, sexuality is a major part of my life. And I would consider myself very different to a gay.

As would Ronan O'Gara consider himself very different to Susan Boyle.

Yes, carbon copies would be ridiculousy boring alright. One point I do agree with you on it seems.

Annasopra

tunedout wrote: »

1 Yes. By their very definition, a gay person and a straight person cannot have the same set of interests. There will be at least one major difference.

2 No but I cannot be sure that they are not getting some sort of sexual pleasure at my expense by seeing me naked.

3 Permanently is the key word here.

4 Anyone who has different interests to everybody else will feel isolated.

1 - Of course gay people and straight people can have the same set of interests!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are gay people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. Do you think gay men are only interested in sex?

2 - I think you need to understand that just because a man is gay does not mean he gets sexual pleasure from perving on every man on the planet. What about a straight woman?

3 - I think you should understand that not every gay person ghettoises themselves in gay bars only - in fact - my guess is 99% don't

4 - what's the problem with trying to find different shared interests like politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating?

tunedout

mango salsa wrote: »

There are gay people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating

Those are not my interests atall. Very far from it.
But anyway:
{politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating, pulling/dating women} is NOT equal to {{politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating, pulling/dating men}

So therefore, a set of interests for a gay person, cannot be the same as that for a straight person. It's already implied in the definition of sexuality. It's a given. There's no debate here.

Lingua Franca

OP, I would suggest you suss your potential flatmates out before moving in with them. Ending up in a houseshare with a gay sex obsessed knuckle dragger that's constantly thinking about you in a purely sexual manner and expecting you to come on to them at all times would be very distressing for you and you shouldn't ever have to live with that kind of harrassment.

Annasopra

tunedout wrote: »

Those are not my interests atall. Very far from it.
But anyway:
{politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating, pulling/dating women} is NOT equal to {{politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating. There are straight people interested in politics, sport, history, geography, music, dancing, drinking, eating, cooking, sleeping, decorating, pulling/dating men}

So therefore, a set of interests for a gay person, cannot be the same as that for a straight person. It's already implied in the definition of sexuality. It's a given. There's no debate here.

Right ok - You think all gay men are obsessed with sex and have no other interest in life at all - I get it

tunedout

Lingua Franca wrote: »

OP, I would suggest you suss your potential flatmates out before moving in with them. Ending up in a houseshare with a gay sex obsessed knuckle dragger that's constantly thinking about you in a purely sexual manner and expecting you to come on to them at all times would be very distressing for you and you shouldn't ever have to live with that kind of harrassment.

But also, and more importantly, it would be very distressing for the knuckle dragger. So both parties suffer. Unnecessarily, might I add.

tunedout

mango salsa wrote: »

Right ok - You think all gay men are obsessed with sex and have no other interest in life at all - I get it

The size of the set of interests I described above is greater than 1.

tunedout

tunedout wrote: »

Can I ask if anyone would have any problems with any of the following scenarios: (try be genuine). Or thinks it is not fair. Or in anyway, not logical. Or indeed, in anyway, not for the benefit of everyone.

3 girls who wont leave a male move in because they are looking for a similar aged girl.
3 lads who wont leave a Chinese guy move in because he doesn't have good English and they are looking for someone they can speak with.
2 guys and 2 girls in a student house who wont leave a 62 year old mature student move in because they are all 18-21 and they are looking for someone they can be comfortable around especially if they are bringing back partners or going out late at night etc.
2 very devoted Catholic parents who don't want to leave a Muslim move in because they think he might want to bring his bible and follow Muslim traditions around the house.

Does anyone have any thoughts on these scenarios?

Let me guess, I described a multitude of discriminant phobics in this post?

Annasopra

tunedout wrote: »

The size of the set of interests I described above is greater than 1.

Indeed but you seem to be obsessed with one small component of the set to the point that it blinds you about everything else and the entire set gets disregarded because of one small component.

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

But also, and more importantly, it would be very distressing for the knuckle dragger. So both parties suffer. Unnecessarily, might I add.

How is that more important? Why should anyone care about the knuckle dragger and his imagined scenarios?

And

tunedout wrote: »

It definitely is their business if you intend sharing the sitting room or kitchen with them.

why would you have a problem sharing a kitchen or sitting room with a gay person? Do you think it's catching?

tunedout

mango salsa wrote: »

Indeed but you seem to be obsessed with one small component of the set to the point that it blinds you about everything else and the entire set gets disregarded because of one small component.

Thats because my set is very different from the one in the example. In my set sexual activity and sexual attraction is a major component of my set of interests.

tunedout

Lingua Franca wrote: »

And why would you have a problem sharing a kitchen or sitting room with a gay person? Do you think it's catching?

As I have explained many times, I would not be comfortable with homosexual activity going on on the couch beside me.

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

Does anyone have any thoughts on these scenarios?

Let me guess, I described a multitude of discriminant phobics in this post?

My thoughts: It's called the Qu'ran, or the Koran, not the bibl.e It's also not something that gets left lying around. I see you have much knowledge about muslims as you do about gays.

I'd say most of the scenarios you have described are pretty discriminatory and the people doing the discriminating would be missing out on valuable life experience by being so narrow minded.

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

As I have explained many times, I would not be comfortable with homosexual activity going on on the couch beside me.

You said the kitchen, what "homosexual activity" would you expect to be seeing in the kitchen?

By the way, I would be disgusted at anyone getting up to any sexual activity on the couch. There's a time and a place for that sort of thing and the couch in a shared house isn't it. That's basic good manners. If I shared a house with you and saw you and your girlfriend inapporpriately fooling around the couch it would make me uncomfortable and I would voice that loudly, to your face. But since you think about what other people get up to in bed and you like living with people who have the exact same interests as you and who like to bring women home to ride them at the weekend I have to ask if you live with a bunch of voyeurs?

tunedout

Lingua Franca wrote: »

If I shared a house with you and saw you and your girlfriend inapporpriately fooling around the couch it would make me uncomfortable and I would voice that loudly, to your face.

You straighaphobic you. That's discrimination.

Now, I can see more clearly the reason I wouldn't live with the gay. I would be verbally abused if I kissed my girlfriend on the couch.

Currently, I live with straights, and we have no such issues.

Isn't it all just best we avoid each other.

Awake&Unafraid

Lingua Franca wrote: »

You said the kitchen, what "homosexual activity" would you expect to be seeing in the kitchen?

By the way, I would be disgusted at anyone getting up to any sexual activity on the couch. There's a time and a place for that sort of thing and the couch in a shared house isn't it. That's basic good manners. If I shared a house with you and saw you and your girlfriend inapporpriately fooling around the couch it would make me uncomfortable and I would voice that loudly, to your face. But since you think about what other people get up to in bed and you like living with people who have the exact same interests as you and who like to bring women home to ride them at the weekend I have to ask if you live with a bunch of voyeurs?

Already mentioned this and apparently kissing and holding hands is sexual activity now, according to him.

tunedout

Awake&Unafraid wrote: »

Already mentioned this and apparently kissing and holding hands is sexual activity now, according to him.

Well according to me and most other people.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_activity

Quote "Human sexual activities or human sexual practices or human sexual behavior refers to the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality."


Now I know wikipedia has been wrong from time to time.

Awake&Unafraid

tunedout wrote: »

Now, I can see more clearly the reason I wouldn't live with the gay. I would be verbally abused if I kissed my girlfriend on the couch.


Isn't it all just best we avoid each other.

But it would be ok for you to verbally abuse gay people kissing on the couch?

Do you really not understand how you're being discriminative or are you taking the p!ss? Straight people should avoid gay people and gay people should avoid straight people?

Lingua Franca

tunedout wrote: »

You straighaphobic you. That's discrimination.

Now, I can see more clearly the reason I wouldn't live with the gay. I would be verbally abused if I kissed my girlfriend on the couch.

Currently, I live with straights, and we have no such issues.

Isn't it all just best we avoid each other.

I'm straight.

You've been acting like the homosexuals have been ganging up on your all throughout this thread and saying nonsense like "To be honest , everyone who is not gay is homophobic by yer conditions." when several of the people disagreeing with you on this thread have already told you that they are also straight.

tunedout wrote: »

I've been busy and have no real support to deal with some of the insanity that I'm trying to understand here.

The "insanity" is that almost everyone, gay and straight alike, in this thread agrees that you are homophobic and in an outdated, 70's era Jim Davidson manner and you continue to insist that you are not.

Awake&Unafraid

tunedout wrote: »

Well according to me and most other people.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_activity

Quote "Human sexual activities or human sexual practices or human sexual behavior refers to the manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality."


Now I know wikipedia has been wrong from time to time.

Whatever about kissing, but holding hands you really see as sexual activity? If you see an elderly couple(or any couple really I'm just using this as an example) walking home and they're holding hands do you consider this as sexual activity?