how to meet genuine nice men...i know they are out there ..where?

Lyaiera

captainpants23 wrote: »

If they find you "making a prat of yourself" charming and endearing, you haven't really made a prat of yourself, though.

AH! But you don't know that. You think you've made a prat of yourself. You don't realise otherwise until there's a balcony scene and roses.

captainpants23

Lyaiera wrote: »

AH! But you don't know that. You think you've made a prat of yourself. You don't realise otherwise until there's a balcony scene and roses.

Believe me, I always know when I have made a genuine prat of myself with a woman. The feeling of humiliation is rather strong for a while afterwards. It is rather hard to miss the times when I have gone down in flames with a woman. Still, its all good. It makes the success stories all the sweeter.

janeo80

This is a fascinating thread! I have never ever been in a relationship, I'm only in my 20s so no panic yet, but I am extremely sociable, and still find it impossible to meet guys.... I had loads of wonderful friends (girls and guys) in college, and did a year abroad where I met lots of interesting people too (and dated a bit but nothindg serious). I've studied something that brings me a lot of opportunities to meet artsy and interesting (to me) people, I work in the city centre, I'm always out at gigs and parties and meeting new people or meeting the same people and being introduced to their friends but nothing ever seems to stick! I have hobbies that involve meeting groups weekly but like.... where are all the eligible men???

captainpants23

janeo80 wrote: »

This is a fascinating thread! I have never ever been in a relationship, I'm only in my 20s so no panic yet, but I am extremely sociable, and still find it impossible to meet guys.... I had loads of wonderful friends (girls and guys) in college, and did a year abroad where I met lots of interesting people too (and dated a bit but nothindg serious). I've studied something that brings me a lot of opportunities to meet artsy and interesting (to me) people, I work in the city centre, I'm always out at gigs and parties and meeting new people or meeting the same people and being introduced to their friends but nothing ever seems to stick! I have hobbies that involve meeting groups weekly but like.... where are all the eligible men???

Define "eligible men".

catallus

Does a fella have to have all his teeth in his head to be called that there "eligible"?

janeo80

Waah I should have chosen my words better!!!! Ok so I do language classes and choirs and stuff every week, have a broad range of interests, go out regularly etc., just in all these environments I can never seem to find anyone who takes an interest in me/who interests me for longer than an evening. And by eligible I guess I meant single and appealing to me, that's about it!

janeo80

And I hadn't thought about it before, but I think all teeth might be a requirement of mine alright. I hadn't realised I was so shallow!

captainpants23

janeo80 wrote: »

Waah I should have chosen my words better!!!! Ok so I do language classes and choirs and stuff every week, have a broad range of interests, go out regularly etc., just in all these environments I can never seem to find anyone who takes an interest in me/who interests me for longer than an evening. And by eligible I guess I meant single and appealing to me, that's about it!

Well, you seem to be doing all the right things by getting out there and meeting people in the real world, in non-drinking situations, where your judgement is much sharper. Bravo for that. Probably it is just a matter of time before you meet the right person. Bon chance.

janeo80

Must just be some fatal personality flaw then! :P

captainpants23

janeo80 wrote: »

Must just be some fatal personality flaw then! :P

Ah no. You seem like a nice person with a sense of humour.

janeo80

Funny girls wind up as the best friend, never the girlfriend! EEERAaa I can always just be a crazy cat lady

mood

janeo80 wrote: »

Funny girls wind up as the best friend, never the girlfriend! EEERAaa I can always just be a crazy cat lady

What's wrong with being funny?

janeo80

I definitely didn't say there was anything wrong with being funny..... It was my very short and less desperate way of saying Why thank you, I can be funny, but this usually results in me winding up as "the funny one" and being immediately friendzoned! I shouldn't have said funny girlS, I was talking about myself. I'm new to this forum experience, and in my first few posts am already being nitpicked on the teeny details, I'll be more careful in future!

mood

There is no way being funny holds anyone back. Surely it's a bonus.

catallus

There is definitely such a thing as being too funny. Too eager for laughs?

janeo80

mood wrote: »

There is no way being funny holds anyone back. Surely it's a bonus.

Yeah I used to think that... But apparently it's not that important to some people?

mood

catallus wrote: »

There is definitely such a thing as being too funny. Too eager for laughs?

I would call that not funny! If you laugh at your own jokes and nobody else does then it's not good.

mood

janeo80 wrote: »

Yeah I used to think that... But apparently it's not that important to some people?

But it wouldn't be held against you.

janeo80

I didn't say it was held against me as if it's some trait, I just said it doesn't always work in my favour, but I'm sure it will eventually:)

catallus

Of course it will; lots of guys like witty women! You should concentrate on what you want.

janeo80

Yeah I'm fairly sure I do know what I want. It doesn't get me down or anything, and I think I've deviated a bit from the point of the thread (not sure if 18 pages later if it matters?), but I was just wondering if there was like... anything more I could be doing, I feel like I'm putting myself out there but have yet to find a like minded person.

catallus

How like-minded are we talking here? Does he have to have all the same interests or what?

janeo80

Not at all, some common ground is how people would initially hit it off I suppose, but it'd be boring if they were just another version of me!............................................










............or would it?

catallus

Well that depends on how splendid you are! I'm into most of the stuff you're into but unfortunately I had my wisdom teeth out so I'm off the radar for you!

jimbobaloobob

You often hear of people finding someone they like when they arent putting themselves out there, often when your busy just being you and enjoying the things you do for the sake of them people take notice and find it attractive. That might be all it would take

RUSTEDCORE

gym classes

janeo80

@ Catallus Well I don't think choirs and language gives much insight at all, so "into most of the stuff I'm into" is a bit vague for now . And I don't have my wisdom teeth (yet)!

@ Jimboobaloob, I totally agree, I do hit it off with people when I least expect it, but I don't know what it is that makes things just fizzle out

@ Rusted core, I can't do weekly classes, and haven't been in the gym for a few months and any time I did, didn't find it to be very sociable! And mostly women also! But thank you

catallus

Maybe if you keep going to the gigs and parties and social meets, along with your other interests, and widen your circle of friends then you'll hit on the right person. You say you live in a city so you have a good pool of people to choose from. It'll work out. Don't pressure yourself.

tomthetank

I think widening your circle is key.

I was one of those eternal singletons, thought it was virtually impossible to meet the right guy as I never got asked out and only ever got leered at in those club/pub settings.

Then I moved abroad, my circle of friends widened as all my friends made their own friends and the inevitable house parties, nights out etc...and all of a sudden I realised I had options. I'd get asked out by some lad I'd meet through a friend, or I'd make a new guy friend and gradually it would become more etc. It was the greatest feeling in the world - to realise that all these years I thought guys thought I just wasn't "relationship material" when really it was just that I wasn't creating any opportunities for myself and in actual fact lots of guys would love to be with me

Now back to the single life after it all went belly up with the latest buachaill, but that's life, that's dating. It takes time and patience.

It's hard to find the right one, a genuine decent one who's on the same page as you and has the same values as you and respects you and cares for you completely. But if you're not out there and creating the opportunities for yourself - going to the nights out, organising things yourself, including yourself in other people's plans etc...you're not really giving yourself much of a chance to meet anyone.

confuseddotcom

Did anyone ever get set up on a Blind Date?! Some people may have completely different concepts of a blind-date, maybe for some it means someone that they don't know personally but that they "know of," but like I mean completely blind with no idea whatsoever of what the other person looks like! :eek: Possibly a recipe for disaster lol but there could be some positive results out of it? :pac:

I wonder is that Dinner-Date Website based on blind-dates or do potential matches have initial contact/chat?