how to meet genuine nice men...i know they are out there ..where?

Animord

First time in this thread, Hello!

I remember seeing something once where couples who had been married for 50 + years were interviewed independently and asked why they thought the marriage had worked. In one of the interviews the woman said "because he makes me laugh" and he said "because she laughs at my jokes"

It stuck in my head (a) because its cute and (b) it just struck me as odd - did he make ALL the jokes for 50 years? and she never said a funny thing? I found it slightly disturbing, which is why I presume I have remembered it for 20 odd years. I obviously can't comment on their particular marriage because I know nothing about it. But it seemed like she must have spent her entire life reacting to him, almost like being a bit player or the audience of his life.

There is nothing wrong with this, of course, if they were both happy, which they clearly were. But for some reason it as stuck with me as if there is some kind of essential truth in there at I can't get at.

Eve_Dublin

Animord wrote: »

First time in this thread, Hello!

I remember seeing something once where couples who had been married for 50 + years were interviewed independently and asked why they thought the marriage had worked. In one of the interviews the woman said "because he makes me laugh" and he said "because she laughs at my jokes"

It stuck in my head (a) because its cute and (b) it just struck me as odd - did he make ALL the jokes for 50 years? and she never said a funny thing? I found it slightly disturbing, which is why I presume I have remembered it for 20 odd years. I obviously can't comment on their particular marriage because I know nothing about it. But it seemed like she must have spent her entire life reacting to him, almost like being a bit player or the audience of his life.

There is nothing wrong with this, of course, if they were both happy, which they clearly were. But for some reason it as stuck with me as if there is some kind of essential truth in there at I can't get at.

I don´t see anything odd with those comments? It sounded like a light-hearted comment not to be taken seriously and also I doubt it's the sole basis of their relationship if the´ve been together so long. I´m sure they're not living day in, day out like the bleedin' Chuckle Brothers for the love of jaysus.

In my relationship, I tend to be the joke maker. I make my boyfriend laugh and I suppose that`s part of the reason he likes me but he also has a great sense of humour and we laugh together a lot, but I suppose I´m the instigator. But there's a whole lot more to our relationship than that. He's the brains behind the relationship, for example, and I've learned so much from him. He's a big nerd and that's very appealing to me.

But humour in any relationship is essential. Right now his dad is dying from Cancer and I´m the all singing, all dancing girlfriend trying to cheer him up. There`'s nothing egotistical about it. He said to me over Chrimbo that that was the one thing that got him through the past year and that meant a lot. I suppose when we look back on these years, we'll remember the sadness but we'll also remember that we had a few laughs in between. Humour shouldn't be underestimated in a relationship and it's essential to get you through the rough times, regardless of who instigates it...I suppose that's what that couple we're trying to get at in a droll kinda way.

Animord

Animord wrote: »

It stuck in my head (a) because its cute and (b) it just struck me as odd - did he make ALL the jokes for 50 years?

Ah, I think after 50 years thats a double act they have perfected. I think it's nice they give each other credit. She to him for making her laugh, he to her for letting him feel like a stand-up comic with an always appreciative audience.

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Humour shouldn't be underestimated in a relationship and it's essential to get you through the rough times, regardless of who instigates it...I suppose that's what that couple we're trying to get at in a droll kinda way.

Anyone who can bright a little laughter into the darkest days is a keeper.

Animord

I am really not saything that there is anything wrong with it and, as I said, it was really cute.

I am coming at this as a six foot, blonde, intelligent, solvent, humorous, independent, terminally single female. On paper I should be every man's (or at least some freaking man's) dream lol.

That is not entirely true, I do meet men, lots of them. Half of them want me to tie them up and spank them and the other half want to sleep with me but when it comes to the relationship thing they want the acquiescent types that they can bring home to their mothers.

OK. So I am bitter and twisted at this stage (and on the gin)... maybe I should stop now.

Chemical Burn

poeticseraphim wrote: »

Hello Ladies:p

So i want to meet genuine guys.

I work freelance from home and i feel like sometimes i have been cut off socially because of it.

I am also a little shy ...at first ....then i am fine after the initial butterflies.


My confidence took a knock in the past....i really feel i need to get out there.

But i really dislike clubs/pubs etc.

Previously i always met men either through college, work sometimes friends etc.

I was thinking of joining a few societies etc.


But i think i need tips on coming out of my shell too.

I need confidence.:o

TY

I am sure many others are in the same boat.

I am not trying to discredit your post or anything, but saying that there are some genuine men out there somewhere kind of implies that most of us are crummy. Could the same be said for the majority of women?? I do find that somewhat offensive to be honest. I am a man myself and I do not fit the stereotype of the "asshole" men that some women seem to describe. I was having the same issue you were having OP, except finding a woman, of course :P. You gotta stop going to clubs. Clubs is generally where guys go to get the roide and a lot of scantily dressed girls go to whore themselves, perhaps what I just said may be construde as offensive, and for that I do apologize. Just lok elsewhere apart form clubs, try internet, try social clubs. I know what I am saying is totally clichéed. But, yes, I was single for almost 2 years after I split with my ex. 1 year, 347 days to be exact :P and I found my current, believe it or not, through boards good luck OP .... and Love you S******, if you're reading this, which you probably are, as you lurk in the LL very often

Eve_Dublin

Animord wrote: »

I am really not saything that there is anything wrong with it and, as I said, it was really cute.

I am coming at this as a six foot, blonde, intelligent, solvent, humorous, independent, terminally single female. On paper I should be every man's (or at least some freaking man's) dream lol.

That is not entirely true, I do meet men, lots of them. Half of them want me to tie them up and spank them and the other half want to sleep with me but when it comes to the relationship thing they want the acquiescent types that they can bring home to their mothers.

OK. So I am bitter and twisted at this stage (and on the gin)... maybe I should stop now.

That´s a pity. Yes, I had an ex who got pissed off with me because he felt he should be the funny one in the relationship (he actually sulked one night and got thick with me over it). We lasted all of 9 months. I sound like I'm boasting here - I'm not hilarious or anything but I have my moments. Those kinds of guys are out there but I´ve found more men who liked it than not and some were very pleasantly surprised. Usually the guys who want to submissive-type "lady" are to be avoided anyway. No man in his right mind wouldn´t want want a girl who was good craic. Sorry that´s been your experience though.

Edit: Definitely lay off the gin...they don´t call it Mother's Ruin for nothing!

Animord

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

.

Edit: Definitely lay off the gin...they don´t call it Mother's Ruin for nothing!

I had a date today with someone that I met on a dating site, having read all the internet dating threads here and on tGL. I thought 'what the hell, try it, nothing ventured, nothing gained.'

He was lovely, but not for me.

So I came home, poured myself a drink and thought I'd search for the answers .. and if you could answer the original question for me please ... "how to meet genuine nice men...i know they are out there... where? question of the thread title, that'd be great.

Lol, or if not, I will just have a long hot bath and go to bed.

confuseddotcom

Awwwwwww there was a Singles Night on in Galway tonight and havn't heard a peep about it whatsover till I just decided to Google Singles Nights in Galway right there. :rolleyes: They were looking for 150 peeps too. Doubt they'll get many at all with zero advertising for it. :rolleyes: Hadn't heard about it at all. Would usually hear about these things, they'd get a mention on one thing or another. But nothing about this. Till right now. Meh

Lou.m

poeticseraphim wrote: »

Hello Ladies:p

So i want to meet genuine guys.

I work freelance from home and i feel like sometimes i have been cut off socially because of it.

I am also a little shy ...at first ....then i am fine after the initial butterflies.


My confidence took a knock in the past....i really feel i need to get out there.

But i really dislike clubs/pubs etc.

Previously i always met men either through college, work sometimes friends etc.

I was thinking of joining a few societies etc.


But i think i need tips on coming out of my shell too.

I need confidence.:o

TY

I am sure many others are in the same boat.

Lord I am the OP ..it's weird reading yourself!

Please don't bump old threads unless there is a very good reason for doing so.