how to meet genuine nice men...i know they are out there ..where?

Eve_Dublin

And it's interesting that yet again, the blame is put on women and the idea that we're "getting above our station" and should simply settle. Why don't you and your friends be a little more realistic and honest with yourselves and take a good, hard look at how you approach women instead of blaming us? 100s of average-looking, average-earning men get women every single day all over the country.


Edit: I just read your post above, so some of this doesn't apply to you^^. Your theory might be the case for some women (you can find an example of everything if look hard enough) but not enough to make a generalisation like you have above. How do you know what our motives are? You're not a woman, are you? Your "theory" is laughable.

Goose81

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

And it's interesting that yet again, the blame is put on women and the idea that we're "getting above our station" and should simply settle. Why don't you and your friends be a little more realistic and honest with yourselves and take a good, hard look at how you approach women instead of blaming us? 100s of average-looking, average-earning men get women every single day all over the country.

Please read above, neither of us have any problem pulling women, it was an observation.

Eve_Dublin

Goose81 wrote: »

Please read above, neither of us have any problem pulling women, it was an observation.

I edited what I wrote above. My point still stands though: these women didn't fancy whoever had experience with your above theory.

Eve_Dublin

Goose81 wrote: »

A friend has a theory which I think has some weight.

Say a man who is extremely good looking gets hammered on a night out, he will probably go after any woman he can and in this case ends up with a distinctly average looking girl.

This then creates a scenario where this girl now thinks that this extremely good looking man is her new standard and she now feels this is attainable and so she will brush off the advances of any man who does not meet these standards.

Obviously after a while the person will cop on but I have seen this through friends of mine that take this attitude the whole way through their 20's.

Its unlikely to happen in reverse as much because woman do not usually get as drunk as men on a night out from my experience anyway.

Probably doesn't really apply to most woman on this thread but it fits in with the men coming on saying Irish women are bitches etc etc.

You're saying women in Ireland (of all countries!! Hardly a nation of teetotalers!) don't get drunk and don't sleep with lads less attractive than them?? Ehhh...

daisybelle2008

Goose81 wrote: »

There was no bitterness or frustration behind his thoughts.

Sure there isn't ....could equally be your 'friends' are punching above their weight too so to speak and not that bitter Irish bitches just insist on getting with A&F models....maybe THEY should give the 'nice' girls a chance

Goose81

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Sure there isn't ....could equally be your 'friends' are punching above their weight too so to speak and not that bitter Irish bitches just insist on getting with A&F models....maybe THEY should give the 'nice' girls a chance

I never called any women "bitches". I referenced guys who come on threads like these who are frustrated due to their lack of success and call Irish women bitches.
You need to calm down, not every person who makes an observation is bashing women or Irish women in particular.

You are right, we probably do punch above our weight as do most men in fairness. Women are nowhere near as shallow as men.

puppieperson

I married the guy you have described vain self obsessed an absolute bastard after 10 years of street angel house devil i just walked out. I have a new partner complete pole oposite to my husband. he is so nice and kind and thoughtful i am terrified!!!!!

beks101

Goose81 wrote: »

Women are nowhere near as shallow as men.

You see, that's sort of unravelling the very premise of your own 'theory' there - you've based it on your own (or your friend's) male perspective.

We're all different of course, but you'll find that in general women will be a lot more forgiving of looks and will find other qualities that attract them right off the bat, whereas for many men, especially of clubbing age, 'hot' will do thanks, everything else is inconsequential.

Even in my own memory, when I try to think of the 'extremely goodlooking men' I've been with, it's not an instant list because that's not how I've classified them in my head - it goes more like, 'sound', 'clingy', 'hilarious', 'asshole' etc. It'll take for someone to say 'what about Hot Mark' and I'll remember, yeah, he was a bit of a ride, looked like a Calvin Klein model, dull as dishwater though.

From the female perspective, that sense of achievement, that drive to 'score an absolute cracker' just isn't the same as it tends to be for guys, it's not greeted by the same amount of pats on the back, it might be fun but it's not going to 'set the bar too high' for an 'average girl' who scored a guy 'out of her league'. We're not that shallow.

Eve_Dublin

Goose81 wrote: »

I never called any women "bitches". I referenced guys who come on threads like these who are frustrated due to their lack of success and call Irish women bitches.
You need to calm down, not every person who makes an observation is bashing women or Irish women in particular.

You are right, we probably do punch above our weight as do most men in fairness. Women are nowhere near as shallow as men.

But can't you see your theory as well as the guys who label Irish women "bitches" are not taking responsibility for themselves and are instead putting the blame on someone else and why, as Irish women, we might find that slightly offensive? You're telling us about we want and what we do. With all due respect, how do you know that? You knew your comments would create a reaction. Why don't you post your theory in a forum where more men will read it?

I would never dream of doing that. If I couldn't get a guy and saw that those around me were having more luck than me, I'd never invent some strange theory about guys being spoiled because some hot chick got drunk and slept with them one night, even though they were average looking and in turn, wouldn't sleep with me because that woman made him believe he could score a woman he's actually attracted to instead of settling for someone like me. I'd presume I'm doing something wrong and should alter my approach in order to be successful next time. Or that he simply didn't fancy me.



If those girls fancied whoever you were referring to, she would've been with them. It's that simple. Again I'll reiterate, women don't go solely on looks when looking for a man. I'm speaking as a woman who'd know a bit more about what I want and what I go for than you and your mates and your weird theory.

mood

beks101 wrote: »

You see, that's sort of unravelling the very premise of your own 'theory' there - you've based it on your own (or your friend's) male perspective.

We're all different of course, but you'll find that in general women will be a lot more forgiving of looks and will find other qualities that attract them right off the bat, whereas for many men, especially of clubbing age, 'hot' will do thanks, everything else is inconsequential.

Even in my own memory, when I try to think of the 'extremely goodlooking men' I've been with, it's not an instant list because that's not how I've classified them in my head - it goes more like, 'sound', 'clingy', 'hilarious', 'asshole' etc. It'll take for someone to say 'what about Hot Mark' and I'll remember, yeah, he was a bit of a ride, looked like a Calvin Klein model, dull as dishwater though.

From the female perspective, that sense of achievement, that drive to 'score an absolute cracker' just isn't the same as it tends to be for guys, it's not greeted by the same amount of pats on the back, it might be fun but it's not going to 'set the bar too high' for an 'average girl' who scored a guy 'out of her league'. We're not that shallow.

I think that is why gay men take better care of them selfs that straight men - they know they will be judged on their look (well at least more than if they were straight)

SHOVELLER

mood wrote: »

There are women who don't want kids and marriage either.

Where are they?:D

mood

SHOVELLER wrote: »

Where are they?:D

I've known a few over the years. That will limit your choice of partner but it won't make it impossible.

daisybelle2008

I happily don't want children and don't intend to marry (again)...:-)

meeeeh

This thread has some crazy generalizations about men and women of different nationalities. The one about Russian women being good looking because they are desperate probably wins but there are some gems also on last couple of pages.

wandatowell

puppieperson wrote: »

i am terrified!!!!!

Dont be, you put up with crap for so long. If you can (I know it might be easier said than done ) just kick back, relax and enjoy being with someone who respects you.

The Corinthian

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Sounds like your mate is trying to make excuses when these women simply aren't attracted to you guys/him for whatever reason.

TBH, this entire thread is predicated on people making excuses; seemingly women are all full of themselves and men are neither genuine or nice.

daisybelle2008

Goose81 wrote: »

I never called any women "bitches". I referenced guys who come on threads like these who are frustrated due to their lack of success and call Irish women bitches.
You need to calm down, not every person who makes an observation is bashing women or Irish women in particular.

You are right, we probably do punch above our weight as do most men in fairness. Women are nowhere near as shallow as men.

I am not riled up by your comments at, I find the theory kind of funny and more than a little ridiculous thats all. I never said you called Irish women bitches , I was refering to the way you proposed your friends theory, as in it would somehow fit with men calling Irish women bitches.

Goose81 wrote: »

A friend has a theory which I think has some weight.....it fits in with the men coming on saying Irish women are bitches etc etc.

Eve_Dublin

The Corinthian wrote: »

TBH, this entire thread is predicated on people making excuses; seemingly women are all full of themselves and men are neither genuine or nice.

But there's some constructive advice and debate here too, I think. You'll always find those who'll pass the buck.

--Kaiser--

meeeeh wrote: »

This thread has some crazy generalizations about men and women of different nationalities. The one about Russian women being good looking because they are desperate probably wins but there are some gems also on last couple of pages.

I think the point was that this is because Eastern European women tend to come from more traditional and patriarchal societies (more or less a fact). Also male death rates seem to be quite a bit higher in these countries (due to suicide, car crashes, alcoholism etc...) so women have to compete over a smaller pool of men. My observation from having known more than a few Eastern European women is that they put a lot more effort into their appearance

Standman

I think the problem is that what many people say they are attracted to and what they are in reality attracted to are often very different things. Attraction is a complex thing which can be very hard to understand sometimes. It's easy to sit at home and rationally list off the qualities you would like in a partner, but when subtle emotions and your subconscious kicks in when you go out into the real world then it's a different ball game all together.

It's the same thing with a lot of areas in life. You can rationalise things and believe you have a complete grasp of your preferences, values and principles, but when emotions and other variables are introduced you could find yourself doing something that contradicts a lot of what you thought you knew about yourself.

It's all a bit of a mind fuck to be honest.

meeeeh

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

I think the point was that this is because Eastern European wokmen tend to come from more traditional and patriarchal societies (more or less a fact). Also male death rates seem to be quite a bit higher in these countries (due to suicide, car crashes, alcoholism etc...) so women have to compete over a smaller pool of men. My observation from having known more than a few Eastern European women is that they put a lot more effort into their appearance

While not exactly Eastern European, I am Slavic. There are couple of things which stand out. Girls in those countries seem to be skinnier and probably a bit more active. The Slavic bone structure tends to help (since they are so popular as models). I'm speaking in general, none of it is really true about me. I know that in Russia finding a sober man can be a bit tricky but when going out girls in Ireland dress up a lot more than in anywhere else in Europe I've been to (20+ countries). Are you saying they are more desperate to find men as most of Europe. It's nonsense, women don't dress up just for men. The biggest fun is to make other women jealous even when you are in a relationship. This is another generalization but it is ridiculous to suggest that any woman is pretty just because they want to find a man.

--Kaiser--

meeeeh wrote: »

While not exactly Eastern European, I am Slavic. There are couple of things which stand out. Girls in those countries seem to be skinnier and probably a bit more active. The Slavic bone structure tends to help (since they are so popular as models). I'm speaking in general, none of it is really true about me. I know that in Russia finding a sober man can be a bit tricky but when going out girls in Ireland dress up a lot more than in anywhere else in Europe I've been to (20+ countries). Are you saying they are more desperate to find men as most of Europe. It's nonsense, women don't dress up just for men. The biggest fun is to make other women jealous even when you are in a relationship. This is another generalization but it is ridiculous to suggest that any woman is pretty just because they want to find a man.

Where did I say 'desperate'? The fact that there are a higher proportion of one gender as opposed to another would increase competition. Nothing more.


And I don't mean dressing up for going out, I mean looking after their weight more, going to the gym more, paying more attention to their teeth, etc...Now this could be all a cultural 'keeping up with the Jones' type deal also

meeeeh

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

Where did I say 'desperate'? The fact that there are a higher proportion of one gender as opposed to another would increase competition. Nothing more.


And I don't mean dressing up for going out, I mean looking after their weight more, going to the gym more, paying more attention to their teeth, etc...Now this could be all a cultural 'keeping up with the Jones' type deal also

Very often it is. It's not nice when you are size 10 or 12 max and the fattest girl in the class. I perfected standing on weighting scales so it shows less weight into an art. It has nothing to do with trying to impress men, since they seemed to have a lot less of a problem with my body then I did. Girls are getting a bit fatter now but that doesn't stop me feeling fat whenever I come back home and I'm 35, have two kids and great boyfriend. I gave birth two months ago and am currently on a diet so I don't look too fat for my brothers wedding at the end of the month. My brother who is 34 and not vain is religiously sticking to diets so he shouldn't become cubby as he was as a kid and youngster (he was about 1,5 stone too big).

The Corinthian

Ireland has never been famous for good dress sense - the joke in the nineties used to be that grunge was popular in Ireland before it was in Seattle. This is not simply something that I'd say of women, but men too.

Additionally there's a strong beer drinking culture in Ireland in both genders - women are more likely to drink pints that they will be anywhere else in Western Europe and this too has an impact. One of the few upsides of Ireland's brief Summers has always been that it meant that the number of days a year we'd be subjected to seeing girls going around with belly-tops was mercifully brief; seeing one is often like looking at a lava lamp.

Nonetheless, I'd still reject the idea that women from other nations are any better, or any worse, than Irish women, overall.

mood

I think Irish women dress well in general but there is a tendency to dress too casually for day time and go OTT when going out (too much fake tan, shoes so hight they can't walk properly etc). One of the worst fashion mistakes I see Irish women make more than other nationalities is to wear clothes that are too small (creating a muffin top etc) or sometimes too big.

I think a lot of Irish men 30+ don't make any effort at all with regard to clothes, health etc. It is very aging. I've lost count of the time I've thought a man my age was 10 years older!

As a nationality we certainly need to eat better, drink less and exercise more for health reasons if nothing else.

meeeeh

There are some common treads in different nationalities and in genders but a lot of it is just stereotypes.

Btw I always find it entertaining when people say how girls or men in some foreign country preferred them. Of course they did because they are a bit exotic. Put the same foregin girl/man in a pub in Ireland where they will have more choice and exotic element will be somehow lost and more often than not they will have the same shallow standards as locals.

As for meeting genuine nice men I think it's a lot easier to judge when both parties are sober. Unfortunately that narrows options quite a bit.

Eve_Dublin

mood wrote: »

I think Irish women dress well in general but there is a tendency to dress too casually for day time and go OTT when going out (too much fake tan, shoes so hight they can't walk properly etc). One of the worst fashion mistakes I see Irish women make more than other nationalities is to wear clothes that are too small (creating a muffin top etc) or sometimes too big.

I think a lot of Irish men 30+ don't make any effort at all with regard to clothes, health etc. It is very aging. I've lost count of the time I've thought a man my age was 10 years older!

As a nationality we certainly need to eat better, drink less and exercise more for health reasons if nothing else.

I've been out of Ireland for almost all of the last 8 years and I've noticed a change in the Irish. It seemed like everyone was running around my hometown over Christmas or power walking round the beach. People, overall, looked well imo. Definitely better than a few years ago. That's just from my own observations.

Also, Irish women are bigger boned than many nationalities. I'm not using big-boned as a synonym for overweight btw. I'm a size 10 (size 8 on top) and I could never be as slim as most of the women here in Madrid; It's simply not in my genetic make-up. What's slim in Ireland is not necessarily slim in Eastern Europe or Spain or Italy, for example, so imo, I don't think it'd be fair to compare.

mood

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I've been out of Ireland for almost all of the last 8 years and I've noticed a change in the Irish. It seemed like everyone was running around my hometown over Christmas or power walking round the beach. People, overall, looked well imo. Definitely better than a few years ago. That's just from my own observations.

Also, Irish women are bigger boned than many nationalities. I'm not using big-boned as a synonym for overweight btw. I'm a size 10 (size 8 on top) and I could never be as slim as most of the women here in Madrid; It's simply not in my genetic make-up. What's slim in Ireland is not necessarily slim in Eastern Europe or Spain or Italy, for example, so imo, I don't think it'd be fair to compare.

I think that's because people have less money so run/walk rather than spend money on gyms. I know a number of gym goers who now run instead.

IrishAm

meeeeh wrote: »

While not exactly Eastern European, I am Slavic. There are couple of things which stand out. Girls in those countries seem to be skinnier and probably a bit more active. The Slavic bone structure tends to help (since they are so popular as models).

I don't believe it to be either genetic nor diet. Your food is just as full as carbs as ours - hey, I love it. Slavic/Eastern European women love their beer - hey, I love that too.

But, I think that its more a cultural thing. Girls are kinda discouraged from playing in particular sports in Irish schools. Camogie and athletics seems to be their lot. Where as in eastern europe( hate that term, I am speaking from my CZ/SlovaK/PL friends relaying of their experiences) schoolgirls seem to have just as many sporting options available to them as the their male counterparts.

Quite right, too.

Eve_Dublin

How did a discussion on meeting a nice genuine man (or woman) turn into a discussion on the fashion sense/weight/diet/exercise regimes of Irish women?