Men who still live at home... is it a deal-breaker?

Jogathon

Jay D wrote: »

ps anyone moving home blaming the "current situation" is a lazy shíte I don't care what anyone says. Boy or girl.

Bit unfair I think. I'm at home, my house is rented out on a year's contract, and I was living with my boyfriend until we broke up a few months ago. I'll be moving back into my own house when contract is up but until then I'm stuck at home.

Agricola

Raekwon wrote: »

Stop talking out of your arsé! This 'issue' is obviously not exclusive to Ireland. Sure over half of Spanish people between the ages of 16 - 34 live with their parents.

Exactly. And lets not forget the Italians and their culture of "Mammoni" (Mammys boys!) Men who make a life choice to stay single for as long as possible and let their mothers take care of all the little things in their lives!

kegzmc

I'm still living at home. Unfortunately I have a wife and children to feed so I can't spend my entire salary on alcohol and drugs anymore.

Selfish b@stards...

Sleepy

I have to admit, in my late 20's I wouldn't have dated a woman who lived at home with her parents for any reason.

I find many of the "living at home to save for a mortgage" brigade (both male or female) to be those who'll crow about their "sense with money / financial independence" without so much as a blink of realisation that their parents are subsidising their existence (how many parents charge their child market rate rent or expect their full share of bills, shopping etc.?).

Fair enough if you're staying at home to mind a sick parent but even then, what sort of relationship can you build with someone who has those commitments? Of course it's not something you'd dump someone for if you were already in an already established relationship but I'd be fairly reticent to start a relationship with someone in that position.

BraziliaNZ

Sleepy wrote: »

I have to admit, in my late 20's I wouldn't have dated a woman who lived at home with her parents for any reason.

Yeah even if she was dead on and looked like Georgia Salpa...

shampon

House's are gas.

py2006

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Read my posts, here and in the ladies lounge - I don't have a problem with it, neither do most other women.

Can you answer my question now? I'm really interested to know what I'm being judged on.

Eh I am confused. Are you asking me directly what am I judging you on?

If you mean what do men judge women on? Well I can't speak for all, but personally what a woman earns, whether she works or not or what kind of house if any she owns doesn't actually cross my mind.

I don't think its too much of a generalisation to suggest that the above (or lack of) would be a consideration for more women then men.

Correct me if I am wrong.

Eve_Dublin

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Numbers? Reference? Living with the parents to save money for a bloody mortgage because people in this country are obsessed with property?

It's a fact although I'd say it's more than half. Every Spanish person I know whose not married lives at home. All of them in their 30s. None of them unemployed. Spanish usually meet someone, get married then move out. I've heard it's even worse in Italy. Also very common in Eastern Europe, Malta, Croatia....to move out so young seems to be a North-Western European thing.

My boyfriend (whose Spanish) moved out in his early 30s with his then girlfriend. Very much the norm here. Not so much in Ireland. I don't know many people who live at home with their parents into their 30s having never lived independently previously.

Nothingbetter2d

kegzmc wrote: »

I'm still living at home. Unfortunately I have a wife and children to feed so I can't spend my entire salary on alcohol and drugs anymore.

Selfish b@stards...

should have gotten the snip then :D

CruelCoin

Daveysil15 wrote: »

In these tough times, more and more men in their 20's and 30's are still living with their parents. A lot are doing it out of necessity, not by choice. I'm just wondering do women find this a turn off? Is it really such a bad thing?

I'm 27, living away from home.

At this age i would be ashamed to be living with the parents.

Also, me and the woman have noisy sex, which wouldn't help.

Sleepy

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Yeah even if she was dead on and looked like Georgia Salpa...

Not a fan of Georgia Salpa at all tbh.

But no, a grown adult living at home is either too much of a home-bird or too parasitic for me to be attracted enough to have a meaningful relationship with them.

OneArt

Haha, if I moved back home I'd have to pay more rent than I do now because my parents are fecking off to England. Damn my family's country-hopping ways...

shopaholic01

py2006 wrote: »

Eh I am confused. Are you asking me directly what am I judging you on?

If you mean what do men judge women on? Well I can't speak for all, but personally what a woman earns, whether she works or not or what kind of house if any she owns doesn't actually cross my mind.

I don't think its too much of a generalisation to suggest that the above (or lack of) would be a consideration for more women then men.

Correct me if I am wrong.

I'm not asking what you are judging me on as an individual. My original question was to Daveysil15, who had acknowledged that some superficial men do judge women - just not on where they live.

I asked him what they did judge women on and he didn't answer, except to confirm that it wouldn't be on that issue. When I looked for further information he didn't respond.

You did, and said that men would not judge women on this.

I don't think it is true to say that most women judge a man on where he calls home and that it is an unfair generalisation.

Having acknowledged that men have different criteria upon which to base their judgement of women, I would just like to know what exactly it is, and if that 'criteria' is any more acceptable.

This isn't a personal issue with you, I would simply like to know.

BUBBLE WRAP

Sleepy wrote: »

Not a fan of Georgia Salpa at all tbh.

But no, a grown adult living at home is either too much of a home-bird or too parasitic for me to be attracted enough to have a meaningful relationship with them.

Well, lets just say, If you met the girl of your dreams, everything you wanted in a woman. you fall in love with this woman, then you find out she lives at home, (the reason is irrelevant) Would you break up with her once you find out she lives at home? Despite being in love with her?

py2006

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I'm not asking what you are judging me on as an individual. My original question was to Daveysil15, who had acknowledged that some superficial men do judge women - just not on where they live.

I asked him what they did judge women on and he didn't answer, except to confirm that it wouldn't be on that issue. When I looked for further information he didn't respond.

You did, and said that men would not judge women on this.

I don't think it is true to say that most women judge a man on where he calls home and that it is an unfair generalisation.

Having acknowledged that men have different criteria upon which to base their judgement of women, I would just like to know what exactly it is, and if that 'criteria' is any more acceptable.

This isn't a personal issue with you, I would simply like to know.

Well I don't know if I 'judge' women..maybe I do!

Like everyone, our initial judgement is on appearance. Its a human characteristic (or flaw). For me, I couldn't be with a woman for that alone so I guess I would judge her on personality over looks.

Materialistic things don't come into the equation.

shopaholic01

py2006 wrote: »

Well I don't know if I 'judge' women..maybe I do!

Like everyone, our initial judgement is on appearance. Its a human characteristic (or flaw). For me, I couldn't be with a woman for that alone so I guess I would judge her on personality over looks.

Materialistic things don't come into the equation.

Thank you.

The same is true of most women, except of course the women that most after hour's men seem to attract.

Daveysil15

man.about.town wrote: »

i think your also a bit confused about money. just because you have a house, doesnt mean your broke and cant afford to anything. i think your on another planet mate.

I'm not saying all men who have their own place is broke. I said what's the point in having your own place if you're always skint. There are plenty of people with their own place who can barely afford it.

shopaholic01 wrote: »

I'm not asking what you are judging me on as an individual. My original question was to Daveysil15, who had acknowledged that some superficial men do judge women - just not on where they live.

I'd imagine superficial men would judge a woman more so on her looks rather than her possessions. Is that better or worse? I'll let you decide on that.

shopaholic01

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I'd imagine superficial men would judge a woman more so on her looks rather than her possessions. Is that better or worse? I'll let you decide on that.

It's neither, but when you make generalisations about some women being superficial it's only fair to acknowledge that some men are superficial too.



We should kiss and make up now .

py2006

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Thank you.

The same is true of most women, except of course the women that most after hour's men seem to attract.

I would like to agree with you but unfortunately if you are hearing a lot of men giving out about this issue than there must be some truth to it.

As a man, and I am sure plenty of men have come across this, we are asked almost immediately what we do, where do you live upon meeting a woman. Now I know these questions are asked in general conversations too but you can usually spot the difference in why the question is asked.

You can tell by their response (or lack of) what they think of this. On occasion you can see potential interest disappear. The 'boyos' will give an elaborate story to impress these women and play them at their game. I prefer to be honest.

Again, this isn't every woman but there are quite a few out there even if they don't admit it here.

shopaholic01

py2006 wrote: »

I would like to agree with you but unfortunately if you are hearing a lot of men giving out about this issue than there must be some truth to it.

As a man, and I am sure plenty of men have come across this, we are asked almost immediately what do you do, where do you live upon meeting a woman. Now I know these questions are asked in general conversations too but you can usually spot the difference in why the question is asked.

You can tell by their response (or lack of) what they think of this. On occasion you can see potential interest disappear. The boyos will give an elaborate story to impress these women and play them at their game. I prefer to be honest.

Again, this isn't every woman but there are quite a few out there even if they don't admit it here.

Men ask the same questions, it's general chit-chat in the 'getting to know you' phase. If someone judged me on that I'd leave.

Traditionally men were expected to be breadwinners and some men may feel inferior based on that - there was a thread here not so long ago where a barman was asking if he should be embarassed about his occupation and go back to college.

If you do meet a superficial woman who judges you on material possessions you should just walk away.

Daveysil15

Stiffler2 wrote: »

Yeah - everything except get the ride - lol

Yeah because your parents house is the only place you can have sex? :rolleyes: Use your imagination!

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

I have never encountered a mentality like that anywhere else in Europe, but just here in Ireland.

Obviously you've never been to Spain or Italy.

the_syco

Does anyone here need a new shovel? Some of ye continue to dig a hole for themsleves.

MistyCheese wrote: »

Dunno, has he got a big ____?

Wallet? Damn gold-digger :pac:

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

seriously wtf? i was only going there to wait on a bloomin cab:eek:

Sounds like the lads were trying to embarrass the lad.

M_Bovary

For me, yes it would be a deal-breaker. I admire traditionally masculine attributes such as independence. I would have great difficulty seeing a man who's living at with his parents as a masculine figure, regardless of the circumstances he in which he has found himself.

The King of Moo

M_Bovary wrote: »

For me, yes it would be a deal-breaker. I admire traditionally masculine attributes such as independence. I would have great difficulty seeing a man who's living at with his parents as a masculine figure, regardless of the circumstances he in which he has found himself.

No wonder you had all those affairs then, considering your husband. I don't even know why you married that doctor in the first place.

Daveysil15

M_Bovary wrote: »

For me, yes it would be a deal-breaker. I admire traditionally masculine attributes such as independence. I would have great difficulty seeing a man who's living at with his parents as a masculine figure, regardless of the circumstances he in which he has found himself.

How does living at home make you less masculine? A man could have his own place and still be a wimp every other way. Chuck Norris lived with his mum well into his 30's. You can't get anymore masculine than him.

Women dont know what they want so what does it matter. If he was rich, good looking with a great sense of humor, they will still find something wrong.

Yeah he was a good guy but his spelling was atrocious

1ZRed

Daveysil15 wrote: »

M_Bovary wrote: »

For me, yes it would be a deal-breaker. I admire traditionally masculine attributes such as independence. I would have great difficulty seeing a man who's living at with his parents as a masculine figure, regardless of the circumstances he in which he has found himself.

How does living at home make you less masculine? A man could have his own place and still be a wimp every other way. Chuck Norris lived with his mum well into his 30's. You can't get anymore masculine than him.

Chuck Norris is highly overrated!

But I think living at home past the final years of college is a dent to your independence so therefore, your masculinity.

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

Daveysil15

1ZRed wrote: »

Chuck Norris is highly overrated!

But I think living at home past the final years of college is a dent to your independence so therefore, your masculinity.

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

My cousin who is 32 recently moved back in with his folks after losing his job. He simple couldn't afford to pay the mortgage, so he's going to try and find someone to rent his house while he stays at home.

If people are shallow enough to judge someone on their living arrangements, then they probably wouldn't like a person who's on the dole, or have very little money or whatever. To me it just seems like a silly thing to judge someone on, when that person could have all the other qualities that would make them a great partner.

Fupping Grasshole

1ZRed wrote: »

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

I don't see much of a difference between a 23, 24 year old living at home or renting on his own or with mates tbh. Seems foolish to consider that a dealbreaker.

EDIT:
Actually, hold on what's this "if you're a guy" nonsense about?

1ZRed

Daveysil15 wrote: »

1ZRed wrote: »

Chuck Norris is highly overrated!

But I think living at home past the final years of college is a dent to your independence so therefore, your masculinity.

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

My cousin who is 32 recently moved back in with his folks after losing his job. He simple couldn't afford to pay the mortgage, so he's going to try and find someone to rent his house while he stays at home.

If people are shallow enough to judge someone on their living arrangements, then they probably wouldn't like a person who's on the dole, or have very little money or whatever. To me it just seems like a silly thing to judge someone on, when that person could have all the other qualities that would make them a great partner.

You're taking me up wrong. If a guy lives continuously in the house until his late 20s, 30s that's the problem. I would understand your cousin's circumstances and there is nothing wrong with that and moving back. No judgement in that at all.

And I would hardly call myself shallow to be a bit put off my someone that never moved out and they're working and in their late 20s 30s.
Money doesn't bother me in the slightest when it comes to someone btw.