Men who still live at home... is it a deal-breaker?

1ZRed

Fupping Grasshole wrote: »

1ZRed wrote: »

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

I don't see much of a difference between a 23, 24 year old living at home or renting on his own or with mates tbh. Seems foolish to consider that a dealbreaker.

EDIT:
Actually, hold on what's this "if you're a guy" nonsense about?

Howso? If I were to be going out with someone who lived at home I wouldn't be comfortable going to their house the odd time. They couldn't be coming to mine the whole time that's just a bit unrealistic.

I said for a guy because girls that I know we're slightly slower to move out of their parents house compared to guys. That's the only reason.

Andy-Pandy

Im single, and living at home with my Mum. This is due to a number of reasons, the first being that she had a stroke a number of years ago (she is much better now thank god) which meant that she needed me and secondly, im going into my final year of college . Ill move out again when I am finished my studys

Any woman that would hold that against me would be doing me a favour tbh, as its not the type of woman id want to be with. My mother is an amazing woman who has worked so hard my whole life to give me what i want, so moving home when she got sick to keep an eye on her didnt give me a moment hesitation.

the_syco

1ZRed wrote: »

(if you're a guy)

Hahahaha... is this some sort of "get into the kitchen and get me some pie" sexist crap?

Sea Filly

Sleepy wrote: »

I have to admit, in my late 20's I wouldn't have dated a woman who lived at home with her parents for any reason.

Even if she was just there getting her life back together after, say, illness?

karaokeman

Best AH thread in a long while.

Shryke

Fupping Grasshole wrote: »

1ZRed wrote: »

For me, living at home past 23-24 (if you're a guy) is a bit of a deal breaker

I don't see much of a difference between a 23, 24 year old living at home or renting on his own or with mates tbh. Seems foolish to consider that a dealbreaker.

EDIT:
Actually, hold on what's this "if you're a guy" nonsense about?

Don't mind that lad. He's about 19 and living at home. Aspires to do gay porn to pay for a college course one day because his parents told him they won't pay his way.

1ZRed

Shryke wrote: »

Don't mind that lad. He's about 19 and living at home. Aspires to do gay porn to pay for a college course one day because his parents told him they won't pay his way.

Haha I'm 18 but moving out in order to get more work actually. Whatever route it leads me down is my own choice.

Definitely not something I aspire to but then again, how many people have the option of doing porn? Even if I refuse I can always remember I had the offer by another pornstar in front of me.

Katgurl

py2006 wrote: »

would you say the same about women who live at home? doubt it!

What kind of ridiculous question is that? Absolutely I would. I'd be disgusted with any of my friends still living at home. Are you people for real? I packed my bags & ran almost the minute I finished school. All those years housesharing in town in my early 20's with friends were the best craic ever and a huge part of growing up - learning how to compromise with people / manage our own finances / develop grown up romantic relationships etc.

I get the points everyone is making about guys returning home to save for mortgage / study / forced onto dole but the title states 'MEN who STILL live at home..." so presumably the blokes in question are 25+ and have never left.

Recession or no recession there is no excuse for behaving like a child in an adult's body. It actually makes my skin crawl.

Daveysil15

Katgurl wrote: »

Recession or no recession there is no excuse for behaving like a child in an adult's body. It actually makes my skin crawl.

How exactly is it behaving like a child? People can live at home and still act like an adult. They can also have romantic relationships.

py2006

Katgurl wrote: »

What kind of ridiculous question is that? Absolutely I would. I'd be disgusted with any of my friends still living at home. Are you people for real? I packed my bags & ran almost the minute I finished school. All those years housesharing in town in my early 20's with friends were the best craic ever and a huge part of growing up - learning how to compromise with people / manage our own finances / develop grown up romantic relationships etc.

I get the points everyone is making about guys returning home to save for mortgage / study / forced onto dole but the title states 'MEN who STILL live at home..." so presumably the blokes in question are 25+ and have never left.

Recession or no recession there is no excuse for behaving like a child in an adult's body. It actually makes my skin crawl.

Wow, I bet you're a bundle of fun to be around.

1ZRed

Katgurl wrote: »

What kind of ridiculous question is that? Absolutely I would. I'd be disgusted with any of my friends still living at home. Are you people for real? I packed my bags & ran almost the minute I finished school. All those years housesharing in town in my early 20's with friends were the best craic ever and a huge part of growing up - learning how to compromise with people / manage our own finances / develop grown up romantic relationships etc.

I get the points everyone is making about guys returning home to save for mortgage / study / forced onto dole but the title states 'MEN who STILL live at home..." so presumably the blokes in question are 25+ and have never left.

Recession or no recession there is no excuse for behaving like a child in an adult's body. It actually makes my skin crawl.

I get where you're coming from and it is the ideal thing to move out away from your parents but it's just not that easy for everyone. Sometimes you can work and manage to hold down your own place and be absolutely 100% independent, sometimes mom and dad fork out for you to be able to have your own place but these days that's way rarer.

The only way I'm moving out is because I'm not going to college and I have to try to work. If I was in college though, I don't think I'd manage by myself or even if my parents chipped in. But after college I think you should really try and move out if you have still been living at home all your life.

amacca

1ZRed wrote: »

But after college I think you should really try and move out if you have still been living at home all your life.

What if you run the family farm + live with your parents in farmhouse on the farm...should you move away and commute back to the farmhouse where you will spend most days working anyway when there is a bed etc right there for you....doesn't make sense to move out then in some respects either

to me broad general rules like you should move out of the family home after college just dont make sense for everyone's situation...

1ZRed

amacca wrote: »

What if you run the family farm + live with your parents in farmhouse on the farm...should you move away and commute back to the farmhouse where you will spend most days working anyway when there is a bed etc right there for you....doesn't make sense to move out then in some respects either

to me broad general rules like you should move out of the family home after college just dont make sense for everyone's situation...

That's why I said should try to move out.

That farm example is a minority and doesn't apply to everyone but you can pick examples to sway the argument but generally it's everyone's goal to move out of their parents house. You can't deny that.

amacca

1ZRed wrote: »

That's why I said should try to move out.

That farm example is a minority and doesn't apply to everyone but you can pick examples to sway the argument but generally it's everyone's goal to move out of their parents house. You can't deny that.

No I suppose I cant deny that...wasn't really trying to say you are wrong by picking out exceptions, just wanted to know if you think the above is an exception

For some it just does not make as much sense to move out - in that example it would be a lot of extra expense you dont have to go to for possibly not much gain + would be sickening to commute from your place to your place of work when you could just live there at a much lower cost, until of course you have a spouse/partner etc assuming of course the fact that you live and work at home doesn't exclude you from having the spouse/partner etc

Daveysil15

amacca wrote: »

For some it just does not make as much sense to move out - in that example it would be a lot of extra expense you dont have to go to for possibly not much gain

You raise a good point here. Also, if someone is single and has nobody to move in with, then they'd have to get a place on their own which would be expensive, not to mention lonely. Wouldn't it make more sense to find a partner first, build a relationship and then move out of home? I don't understand how someone could find it a deal-breaker when you could just date the person for a while and then when things get serious, you can both find a place together.

amacca

Daveysil15 wrote: »

You raise a good point here. Also, if someone is single and has nobody to move in with, then they'd have to get a place on their own which would be expensive, not to mention lonely. Wouldn't it make more sense to find a partner first, build a relationship and then move out of home? I don't understand how someone could find it a deal-breaker when you could just date the person for a while and then when things get serious, you can both find a place together.

those were more or less my thoughts.

+ if someone was so uncompromising about that then perhaps they would not make a great partner etc anyway.........what else would they be unwilling to compromise on

I dont think it should be a deal breaker anyway......being a sh1tty person or not being into the other etc, those should be the dealbreakers

Sea Filly

py2006 wrote: »

I suspect some won't see a lot of $$$ in a guy living in the folks place. House and a car is much more appealing.

Not all of course!

That's charitable of you...

Madam_X

Ah in fairness, when some guy said he'd have no interest in a woman who lives at home, we women rounded on him for his shallow attitude. Oh no wait, we didn't.

The desperate attempts to create a pattern of gold-digging females between here and that discussion in the Ladies' Lounge are hilarious.
One woman was assumed to have no problem with women living at home because she said she wouldn't be interested in a man living at home. Why that assumption? Because it's what the person doing the assuming *wanted* to be the case.

There are numerous reasons as to why a person would be living at the folks' place when they're in their mid 20s and older. I find it pretty objectionable for anyone to take issue with a person living at the family home (and gender is irrelevant - unless you're pushing an agenda of course ) when it's a means to an end (job loss, relationship ending and having to pay mortgage and child support, back from travelling, saving money for a big investment, illness, returning to college) and there's still independence and help around the house/financial contributions. I think those who feel it's living in the clouds to live at home for any reason at all are the ones with no grasp on reality. My folks' place is always open to my siblings and I if we're stuck (not to take advantage of course) - because we're family. I strongly disagree with that puritannical "You should get no help from the folks after 18" stuff. It's nonsense IMO. You don't stop being a parent, ever. I'm suspicious of it too - get the feeling some of those who espouse it haven't been in a situation where they need to move home.

Living at home late in life (male or female) though simply because of not bothering to move out, and being a lazy-arse and a sponge - well I'd understand that being a turn-off but I assume it's rare. The parents of people like that should put their foot down at a certain point too.

VEN

i think some people 'think' too far ahead of themselves when choosing a mate. 'hmm i wonder will he/she make a good father/mother' 'i wonder if i lose my job down the line, will his/her job be able to support us' etc etc

live for the moment, you don't know what's around the corner. for richer or poorer.

personally i couldn't care less whether she lived at home or not, if she drove a car or not, if she had a job or no job. what would matter to me, if i loved her or not and vice versa, if there was a point to it. their status or what they have or don't have doesn't bother me and it shouldn't bother you otherwise your relationship is doomed once you take all the benefits away.

Daveysil15

amacca wrote: »

+ if someone was so uncompromising about that then perhaps they would not make a great partner etc anyway.........what else would they be unwilling to compromise on

I agree. Anyone who finds a person living at home to be a deal-breaker would probably consider a lot of things deal-breakers. I think its no better than judging someone on their job, car or height etc.

Onixx wrote: »

The desperate attempts to create a pattern of gold-digging females between here and that discussion in the Ladies' Lounge are hilarious.

You seem to think there's an agenda to everything. I don't see any pattern of gold diggers in the discussion. A few may have passed remarks, but I don't think money is the real issue. Some people just seem to think anyone who lives at home is a loser with no independence. That's it! There's no conspiracy here.

Tombi!

Mod: great three year old thread.
the last post was three years ago.
let's let it rest