Men who still live at home... is it a deal-breaker?

BillyMitchel

syndeyfife wrote: »

BillyMitchel wrote: »

My type of woman! Would you mind if he said you have to keep it down the folks wil hear?

He'd have to gag me! :P

Nah that's hotel kinky stuff. I have a few extra pillows. She can bite on them!

DublinWriter

The Chinese have a saying about relationships that goes something like 'you should marry door-to-door', roughly meaning that prospective partners should be in the same socio-economic bracket and at the same levels as each other in most ways.

I'd find it most ironic if most Irish women complaining about men still living with their parents were actually living at home themselves.

shopaholic01

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I just found a spider running across my bed, thank god a woman wasn't here to see my reaction. Living at home or a mansion on my own she'd of been out the door

Back at home from living abroad but it won't be for much longer. No problem bringing a few women back every now again and they don't seem to mind up until the point of the next morning when they usually look like crap and ask where's the bathroom is and they realise they have to walk through the sitting room and meet half the family.

First 2 maybe 3 dates I'd never let a girl pay but after that if she doesn't start producing the euros to fill my belly then it's probably the end unless she's a 10/10 and I want the ride but even then she's pushing it.

Shopaholic you seem like a pretty cool chick if you don't mind me saying so!

Why, thank you, and I'm not afraid of spiders either;):D.

eth0

The King of Moo wrote: »

I'm not sure if I've understood this: they'll allow you to live there for free after one year, is that correct?

If so, that's not really too far removed from living at home, is it?

but ya don't have to tell anyone that you're not paying for it or who even owns the place.

shopaholic01

eth0 wrote: »

It's easy for women, if they can find the right lad they don't even have to work.

Although some of them still choose to.

Out of interest, what if your opinion of men who are financially supported by women? I hate the term 'househusband', but it suits some couples.

The King of Moo

eth0 wrote: »

It's easy for women, if they can find the right lad they don't even have to work.

I think I could find at least one or two women who'd be willing to support me, if I were so inclined .

BillyMitchel

shopaholic01 wrote: »

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I just found a spider running across my bed, thank god a woman wasn't here to see my reaction. Living at home or a mansion on my own she'd of been out the door

Back at home from living abroad but it won't be for much longer. No problem bringing a few women back every now again and they don't seem to mind up until the point of the next morning when they usually look like crap and ask where's the bathroom is and they realise they have to walk through the sitting room and meet half the family.

First 2 maybe 3 dates I'd never let a girl pay but after that if she doesn't start producing the euros to fill my belly then it's probably the end unless she's a 10/10 and I want the ride but even then she's pushing it.

Shopaholic you seem like a pretty cool chick if you don't mind me saying so!

Why, thank you, and I'm not afraid of spiders either;):D.

I think I've a nest here if you want to check it out? Don't worry the folks are away and you are very welcome

Daveysil15

Katgurl wrote: »

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

men who STILL live at home??? as in NEVER left?

I just threw up on myself a bit.

Yes. In case my response wasn't clear. Complete dealbreaker.

Get up off your ar$e, get a job, do something, move out, grow up, get a life.

That's a little harsh. So anyone living at home has no life?

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Most men and women I know living at home have jobs and are saving for their mortgage as they see rent as dead money. A cop out if ever I heard one. It's very off-putting (except for the genuine cases) and the craziest part is they see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

And what exactly is wrong with saving for a mortgage?

christmas2012

why the judgement esp for people who have no job and are in a recession..

mauzo

The King of Moo wrote: »

I'm not sure if I've understood this: they'll allow you to live there for free after one year, is that correct?

If so, that's not really too far removed from living at home, is it?

Yeah pretty much, but Ive been renting off them for years so 1,500 a month for 5 years!

christmas2012

:eek:

shopaholic01

Daveysil15 wrote: »

And what exactly is wrong with saving for a mortgage?

I said in the ladies lounge that I would be jealous of a guy who didn't have a mortgage. It really limits your options in life now, because it's all but impossible to sell.


I have a mortgage and it doesn't mean I'm a great catch' financially - far from it.

This notion of valuing a person's worth based on their material possessions is a very outdated notion.

The King of Moo

syndeyfife wrote: »

Yeah pretty much, but Ive been renting off them for years so 1,500 a month for 5 years!

Fair enough, but you're still getting something from your parents that most people can't, and which isn't an option for most people who are forced to move home for various reasons.
After five years, most people have to keep paying rent.

I'm not saying your situation is wrong, just that it's a bit rich for you to turn your nose up at men who live at home when you're getting some financial support from your parents.

Eve_Dublin

Daveysil15 wrote: »

And what exactly is wrong with saving for a mortgage?

FFS. Did I say there was anything wrong with saving for a mortgage? :rolleyes:

mauzo

The King of Moo wrote: »

Fair enough, but you're still getting something from your parents that most people can't, and which isn't an option for most people who are forced to move home for various reasons.
After five years, most people have to keep paying rent.

I'm not saying your situation is wrong, just that it's a bit rich for you to turn your nose up at men who live at home when you're getting some financial support from your parents.

It all depends, if they are still 'scrounging' off the parents, as in still living under their roof, no job, no ambition, no prospects then yeah I look down on them. Everyone should have their own dreams.

Been in foster homes all my life, finally have an out(been through more than anyone should ever have to go through)....I have dreams bigger than anyone!! No ambition=no hope! (in my eyes)

hondasam

syndeyfife wrote: »

I rent, and I see rent as dead money!!

That said, I rent off my parents....they own their own house and they own 4 apartments. I rent 1 apartment off them(with 2 others)and after 1 year of college I live here for free sweeeeeet

Your parents bought a house for you, you have paid rent but you did not have to save for a deposit or get a mortgage.
If your parents did not set you up could you have bought a house yourself?

Eve_Dublin

christmas2012 wrote: »

why the judgement esp for people who have no job and are in a recession..

Who's judging?

christmas2012

Ive noted a few posters throwing judgement saying yeah pretty much it is a deal breaker,i think its shallow view someone living out of thier parents as a deal breaker..

i wouldnt want to know them anyway if thats how shallow there going to be..

The King of Moo

syndeyfife wrote: »

It all depends, if they are still 'scrounging' off the parents, as in still living under their roof, no job, no ambition, no prospects then yeah I look down on them. Everyone should have their own dreams.

Been in foster homes all my life, finally have an out(been through more than anyone should ever have to go through)....I have dreams bigger than anyone!! No ambition=no hope! (in my eyes)

That's great, but I think you should also remember that everyone has their own story and not every person living at home is doing so because they're a scrounger. In fact, I'd wager most people living with their parents in Ireland wished they weren't doing so.
I think you should get to know a person first before deciding you're not going to have a relationship with them because they're living at home.

Eve_Dublin

christmas2012 wrote: »

Ive noted a few posters throwing judgement saying yeah pretty much it is a deal breaker,i think its shallow view someone living out of thier parents as a deal breaker..

i wouldnt want to know them anyway if thats how shallow there going to be..

But who mentioned judging them even if they had no job? I think almost all posters said that would be the exception. It would be for me anyhow.

Edit: If a guy was living at home, paying rent and pulling his weight and he viewed it as a temporary measure, then I wouldn't mind. If he was unemployed, I also wouldn't mind. Lazy scroungers living at home with their parents because they're too stingy/lazy to move out, not so much.

Daveysil15

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

FFS. Did I say there was anything wrong with saving for a mortgage? :rolleyes:

Well what exactly are you saying is a cop out and off-putting?

Am Chile

Reverse the situation and question a sec, how many guys here think its a dealbreaker if a girl still lives at home with her parents ? me personally I wouldn,t care nor judge, in times like this where people have lost their jobs forced on the dole cuts in rent allowance, price of rent going up, its quite understandable some people might have moved in back at home. in some other countries men might live at home till they marry or find a long term girlfriend.

Eve_Dublin

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Well what exactly are you saying is a cop out and off-putting?

Living at home with your parents paying zero rent and not pulling your weight (mothers wait on their kids hand and foot here) having never lived independently well into your 30s even though you have a job...because you're saving for your mortgage.

That'd be the situation with most employed Spanish people and that's what I'm talking about.

shopaholic01

Am Chile wrote: »

Reverse the situation and question a sec, how many guys here think its a dealbreaker if a girl still lives at home with her parents ? me personally I wouldn,t care nor judge, in times like this where people have lost their jobs forced on the dole cuts in rent allowance, price of rent going up, its quite understandable some people might have moved in back at home. in some other countries men might live at home till they marry or find a long term girlfriend.

[YOUTUBEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ38jVTA2cA][/YOUTUBE]

It's also a reality that a lot of people are only making their mortgage/rent payments with financial help from their parents.

Daveysil15

Am Chile wrote: »

Reverse the situation and question a sec, how many guys here think its a dealbreaker if a girl still lives at home with her parents ? me personally I wouldn,t care nor judge, in times like this where people have lost their jobs forced on the dole cuts in rent allowance, price of rent going up, its quite understandable some people might have moved in back at home. in some other countries men might live at home till they marry or find a long term girlfriend.

[YOUTUBEhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJ38jVTA2cA][/YOUTUBE]

Good question, and I honestly couldn't care less where she was living. If I like a girl, I like her, its as simple as that.

mauzo

The King of Moo wrote: »

That's great, but I think you should also remember that everyone has their own story and not every person living at home is doing so because they're a scrounger. In fact, I'd wager most people living with their parents in Ireland wished they weren't doing so.
I think you should get to know a person first before deciding you're not going to have a relationship with them because they're living at home.

I know not everyone is living at home because they are a 'scrounger'

If they were living at home but had hopes/dreams to do more than that then yes I would absolutely date them.

But bearing in mind Im only 20 years old, so most guys I know are living at home, and most of them are doing so because its 'easy' and they have dropped out of college and have no ambitions in life, just living at home because thats enabling them to live the easy life they want.

Whereas Ive been paying my way for over 5 years now, because of that (after I get my degree next year) I get my own place.

Next year Ill have a degree, either get a job here in Ireland or move with my 'parents' to the US and try get a job there.

Guess I have the midset they do. If you have the drive/ambition to get where you want to be and actively seek that, then oppurtunities will come

hondasam

syndeyfife wrote: »

But bearing in mind Im only 20 years old, so most guys I know are living at home, and most of them are doing so because its 'easy' and they have dropped out of college and have no ambitions in life, just living at home because thats enabling them to live the easy life they want.

Whereas Ive been paying my way for over 5 years now, because of that (after I get my degree next year) I get my own place.

How did you pay your parents 1,500 a month rent for five yrs when you are only 20 now?

The King of Moo

syndeyfife wrote: »

I know not everyone is living at home because they are a 'scrounger'

If they were living at home but had hopes/dreams to do more than that then yes I would absolutely date them.

But bearing in mind Im only 20 years old, so most guys I know are living at home, and most of them are doing so because its 'easy' and they have dropped out of college and have no ambitions in life, just living at home because thats enabling them to live the easy life they want.

Whereas Ive been paying my way for over 5 years now, because of that (after I get my degree next year) I get my own place.

Next year Ill have a degree, either get a job here in Ireland or move with my 'parents' to the US and try get a job there.

Guess I have the midset they do. If you have the drive/ambition to get where you want to be and actively seek that, then oppurtunities will come

If most guys you know are like that then that's fine, but it's only fair to point out that they're not representative of most men in this country.

I also wouldn't be too hard on twenty-year olds living at home. That's still young. And hopefully you'd look more kindly on a twenty-year old who might be living at home or else renting but getting some manner of financial assistance while also studying, which I think, overall, is a more common phenomenon than twenty-year olds who can't be bothered getting a job etc.

whendovescry

this thread highlights the superficiality of most relationships. If you really care about someone, that should transcend living arrangements, income or job status. I would place much more emphasis on who you are as a person rather than what you have. If the tangibles are more important than the intangibles, it is a relationship ultimately doomed to failure. Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic :rolleyes:

mauzo

The King of Moo wrote: »

If most guys you know are like that then that's fine, but it's only fair to point out that they're not representative of most men in this country.

I also wouldn't be too hard on twenty-year olds living at home. That's still young. And hopefully you'd look more kindly on a twenty-year old who might be living at home or else renting but getting some manner of financial assistance while also studying, which I think, overall, is a more common phenomenon than twenty-year olds who can't be bothered getting a job etc.

I completely understand that most 20 year old males are still going to college etc, thats fine! As long as they are trying to get somewhere they want to be, by either studying or working. Most guys my age I know are either living off their parents or off social welfare.

Ive been in foster care all my life, before I hit 14 I went to a family that I still consider my own, and worked my way through college. Worked to live in the apartment I live in now.

So I just dont take the excuse 'there are no jobs', 'I came from a hard background' etc..

Nobody has come through more than me (in my eyes, Ive gone through the worst things human beings can go through) Ive always had the want to make my life better, had the ambition and the drive, and I got to where I am today living by that rule.

Yes, next year when I get my degree I will be extremely lucky to own my own place and have a roof over my head, degree under my blet, but I got that because I worked for that. I have enough money saved because I wanted it, I could afford a mortgage, I could afford to do that, but I know myself I am privileged to have that. If I didnt Id still live on my own because I have no other option