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Men who still live at home... is it a deal-breaker?

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    #152
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,884 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Well I've yet to hear a man complain over a woman's living arrangments. There have been quite a few female posters who have complained about a man's living arrangments. Men and women have different priorities.

    Out of curiosity, why did you only ask the female posters and not the male?

    My 42 year old boyfriend's dad was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago and he moved in with his dad and aunt to look after him as they're both quite old. Did I dump him? No. I respected and loved him more for his decision. As I said before, I'd take each situation individually.

    By the way, I'd judge a female the same way. I'm a heterosexual female and this thread is asking how we'd feel about MEN living at home with their parents, not women (surprise surprise). A scrounger is a scrounger regardless of gender.


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    #153
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    py2006 wrote: »
    :O

    It would appear from this thread and the thread referred to in the original post that a lot of women take issue with where a man calls home. Suggesting that a man living at the family home is somebody to be avoided! Why?
    Read my posts, here and in the ladies lounge - I don't have a problem with it, neither do most other women.

    Can you answer my question now? I'm really interested to know what I'm being judged on.


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    #154
    Madam_X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,327 ✭✭✭Madam_X


    PickledLime wrote: »
    These are extremely shallow people (usually single for a reason) and are not worth your time of day, so i wouldn't worry about them and not owning your own home!
    I read the thread in question and there were plenty of women saying it's no problem if a guy rents - the majority of women said it.

    Strange that only a minority of naysayers get focused on. Well not really ;) looking for discrimination against men where there isn't any seems to be a hobby among a small number here. :D

    Anyway I wouldn't give a toss if a guy still lived at his folks' in his 30s - even if he'd never moved out, so long as he was independent.


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    #155
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    i think the real issue some women have with guys living at home is having the risk of having to meet the guy's parents so soon in a relationship.

    as a i guy i'd feel weird meeting a girl's parents after shagging their daughter the night before.


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    #156
    Fizzlesque
    Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Fizzlesque


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Read the title of the thread. I wasn't referring to any particular group of people, I just said some people. You just assumed I meant all women. Of course there are superficial men too. It's just the superficial men wouldn't probably wouldn't judge women on where they live.

    I didn't assume you meant all women. At no point did I make reference to all women.

    I did think (and still do think) you were referring to women specifically, when you said some people are very superficial. Women as opposed to men, not all as opposed to some.

    However, despite how it may look at this stage, I'm not looking to pick holes in your posts, or have an argument with you. I think we could have some very enjoyable discussions, if you can tolerate my tendency to question comments that sound unfair or untrue, or perhaps seem a little oversimplified.

    It's worth mentioning, at this point, I would defend men just as vociferously as I'd defend women, if and when I see something unfair or untrue being implied to represent the majority of either gender. Man bashing is just as distasteful to me as women bashing.

    You'll be glad to hear it's time for me to sleep now, no more finger wagging posts........until tomorrow. :)

    Good night. ;)


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    #157
    eth0
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,635 ✭✭✭eth0


    Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

    as a i guy i'd feel weird meeting a girl's parents after shagging their daughter the night before.

    Ah well ya just need to not think about that when you're talking to them. Never bothered me. Or find girls with very open minded easy going parents it might give ya something to talk about over a pint of Beamish.

    Or better yet move to Sweden or Iceland where its normal to strip off and go into a sauna with your gf, and her siblings and her parents as well as your own parents and sit down and have a grand ould chat about sex while drinking a few tins of cider. Then the next day you go in there with your friends and have a massive orgy and when you walk out you see your gf's parents and their friends ready to go in for an orgy.


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    #158
    CodyJarrett
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 307 ✭✭CodyJarrett


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    So what do they judge us on?

    Men judge women on looks and personality, not much else and in saying that: should these women have either the personality of a lamp or Hyacinth Bucket, them being 10/10 in the looks dept wouldn't be near enough to make them a keeper.


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    #159
    FullRetard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 115 ✭✭FullRetard


    hondasam wrote: »
    How did you pay your parents 1,500 a month rent for five yrs when you are only 20 now?

    you've just after catching an AH internet waffler:pac:
    syndeyfife wrote:
    Yeah pretty much, but Ive been renting off them for years so 1,500 a month for 5 years!


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    #160
    guitarzero
    Registered Users Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭guitarzero


    I'm living back at home again but I tell women I'm sharing with others. When we get back to "my" place we get frisky on the couch and tell her to keep quiet or she'll wake up this oul' one who moved in recently who's a bit mad.


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    #161
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Men who still live at home... is it a deal-breaker?

    Dunno, has he got a big ____?


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    #162
    insanity50
    Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭insanity50


    Kurz wrote: »
    Girls that live with a group of other female friends are the worst. Going there is like a big eggshell walking festival. I prefer when they live with their parents.

    when they synchronize cycles is the worst!
    they do be up to their gills in oestrogen!
    I always steer clear of the girlfriends house on days 1 - 5 of the month. allows me to keep my balls attached to my body.


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    #163
    insanity50
    Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭insanity50


    Nothingbetter2d wrote: »
    as a i guy i'd feel weird meeting a girl's parents after shagging their daughter the night before.

    hypothetical scenario though; I mean c'mon, what's the chances of you getting invited back to a birds house, let alone getting a shag?


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    #164
    insanity50
    Closed Accounts Posts: 211 ✭✭insanity50


    PickledLime wrote: »
    I still had someone (knowing my full situation) constantly query and annoy me about moving out and look down her nose at me.

    hope you gave that fucking tramp the boot.


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    #165
    man.about.town
    Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭man.about.town


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    Yes this is the bit I don't understand. What's the point in having a bachelor pad if you're always skint and can't afford to take your lady for a night out?

    well first of all a bachelor pad is not going to impress any female. get your self a nice home. i think your also a bit confused about money. just because you have a house, doesnt mean your broke and cant afford to anything. i think your on another planet mate.


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    #166
    Piste
    Registered Users Posts: 11,440 ✭✭✭✭Piste


    I'm 21 and so most guys my age live at home, so it's not a problem for me.


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    #167
    man.about.town
    Registered Users Posts: 312 ✭✭man.about.town


    Piste wrote: »
    I'm 21 and so most guys my age live at home, so it's not a problem for me.

    yeah thats not bad but once your hitting your mid twenties, living at home just isnt right imho.


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    #168
    u_c_thesecond
    Registered Users Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭u_c_thesecond


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    I'm just wondering do women find this a turn off? Is it really such a bad thing?

    when i met my partner he was 21 and living at home with his parents- he was in college and at the weekend he worked in a surpermarket.

    After 3 years of college he left home- got a job where I lived (hes still there) and moved in with me. We are still together and im marrying him soon after 9 years together.

    Back then jobs were pretty much aplenty... these days its not peoples fault. my 20 year old sisters with her bf a year and my dad hates him because he does not have a job. my dad is 60 and his generation always had work so he sees no excuse for not having a job


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    #169
    u_c_thesecond
    Registered Users Posts: 1,052 ✭✭✭u_c_thesecond


    Kurz wrote: »
    Girls that live with a group of other female friends are the worst..

    oh and a group of men are better??? went home with a male friend of mine when i was waiting on a cab few weeks ago, and jesus when i walked in all i heard was "Go on boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy some ride go on and get it woohhooo"

    seriously wtf? i was only going there to wait on a bloomin cab:eek:


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    #170
    validusername1
    Registered Users Posts: 283 ✭✭validusername1


    Daveysil15 wrote: »
    In these tough times, more and more men in their 20's and 30's are still living with their parents. A lot are doing it out of necessity, not by choice. I'm just wondering do women find this a turn off? Is it really such a bad thing?

    I don't think it's that bad as long as they don't get their parents to do everything for them like cooking, cleaning, etc.. If they do, it just shows they're probably a bit immature and far from independent. I would find it a bit weird though if like any time I'd go to his house, his parents would be there.. No privacy & all that. But it's understandable to live at home these days, sure it's free, why would ya move before you have to :pac:

    Although I was out a couple nights ago and some 51 year old dude ended up talking to me. I'm nice and will talk to anyone so that's why I did.. He was telling me about how he still lives with his parents and is ashamed and all that (bit of a drunken admission I think ha). Not that I would consider ever going near a 51 year old (ew :( ) since I'm 18, but I found that realllly weird.. Like he never moved out in all his 51 years.. There was no recession even 10 years ago so people like that don't really have an excuse..


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    #171
    Princess Peach
    Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    Depending on the reason for it, yeah it would be.

    Totally understand if its for finances, did it too long myself. And of course if you have to care for parents.

    But there comes an age when if you have a good job, you just move out. I'm 24 now, really hope I never have to move home again for a long stint.

    Seems more acceptable for girls to live at home, I still think its a bit weird. I know a lot of people my age who are now settled in their jobs, settled in their town, not sure what they are waiting for? Loving all the money and mammy's dinner too much probably.

    If I'm judging a guy on it, its not cause I'm awkward going back to their parents house to stay over. Its more judging their sense of maturity, independence and personal responsibility.


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    #172
    Nothingbetter2d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    validusername1 wrote: »
    I don't think it's that bad as long as they don't get their parents to do everything for them like cooking, cleaning, etc.. If they do, it just shows they're probably a bit immature and far from independent. I would find it a bit weird though if like any time I'd go to his house, his parents would be there.. No privacy & all that. But it's understandable to live at home these days, sure it's free, why would ya move before you have to :pac:

    To be fair, a lot of Irish mammy's would automatically do all the cooking and cleaning, and you can't expect the parents to leave their own home whenever someone is brought home.


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    #173
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    whiplashed wrote: »
    Men judge women on looks and personality, not much else and in saying that: should these women have either the personality of a lamp or Hyacinth Bucket, them being 10/10 in the looks dept wouldn't be near enough to make them a keeper.
    What if they have a fantastic personality but you don't consider them attractive?


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    #174
    Stiffler2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,536 ✭✭✭Stiffler2


    af_thefragile wrote: »
    Living at home is great!

    No need to pay bills, there's always food in the fridge and with all the money you save, you can do so many things!


    Yeah - everything except get the ride - lol


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    #175
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    What a fascinating thread. My favourite replies are those by guys who like to blame women for their fickleness, laziness and desire to be treated like princesses. I personally haven't come across Irish girls like that, but that doesn't mean girls like that don't exist. But even so....how can you blame one group of people for your own inferiority complexes?
    Get a job and move out, like every normal person and stop making excuses for your own laziness. If you are a jobseeker, sick, disabled etc. that's a different story, but people in "normal" circumstances should not continuously use their parents to provide for them. I have never encountered a mentality like that anywhere else in Europe, but just here in Ireland. Get a job, provide for yourself: hat applies to women and men, even Ireland has surely progressed to the 21st century in some ways. At least I continue hoping so...


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    #176
    Raekwon
    Registered Users Posts: 4,535 ✭✭✭Raekwon


    RaRaRasputin wrote: »
    I have never encountered a mentality like that anywhere else in Europe, but just here in Ireland.

    Stop talking out of your arsé! This 'issue' is obviously not exclusive to Ireland. Sure over half of Spanish people between the ages of 16 - 34 live with their parents.


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    #177
    RaRaRasputin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 394 ✭✭RaRaRasputin


    Raekwon wrote: »
    Stop talking out of your arsé! This 'issue' is obviously not exclusive to Ireland. Sure over half of Spanish people between the ages of 16 - 34 live with their parents.


    Numbers? Reference? Living with the parents to save money for a bloody mortgage because people in this country are obsessed with property?


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    #178
    Medusa22
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭Medusa22


    It depends on the circumstances. I'm 23 so I would understand a guy my age still living at home if he was studying. If someone is studying or has lost their job and has to go back home, I don't see an issue with that. If someone is working and still chooses to live at home then I find that a bit odd, unless they are ill or looking after their parents. Somebody living at home for years on end while they have a job because they are saving for a mortgage and claims that renting is ''dead money'' would drive me totally insane, I hate that attitude. The only thing that would put me off a bit is the fact that the parents would always be there, and may not let a girl stay over. Another issue is that you'd have to meet the parents quite quickly into the relationship. The guy would also have to be independent (doing his own cooking, washing, paying bills etc), it would be a dealbreaker for me if a man doesn't know how to do housework/ refuses to do housework. By the way, I usually pay my own way but I will allow someone to treat me and will also treat them. Anyway, I'm going out with a girl so we both treat each other ;)


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    #179
    Fighting Irish
    Registered Users Posts: 7,065 ✭✭✭Fighting Irish


    RaRaRasputin wrote: »
    Numbers? Reference? Living with the parents to save money for a bloody mortgage because people in this country are obsessed with property?

    Just stop


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    #180
    BraziliaNZ
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,671 ✭✭✭BraziliaNZ


    Why would you care, unless the guy is just lazy with no ambition. I spent about 6 months at home before I left Ireland, so I was 30 at the time, there were definitely a few women then that didn't have a problem with it. Now that I have my own flat though they're nowhere to be found... Not sure if it's related or Irish girls are just easier?


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    #181
    Cheeky_gal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Cheeky_gal


    Is living at home with your parents a deal breaker??? Lol

    Who gives a toss? If a girl is going to judge you because you live at home then kick her to the curb no? :/

    Jesus we're in a recession, how shallow!


This discussion has been closed.
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