The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**

magneticimpulse

miamee wrote: »

I can't believe you've been keeping count tbh!! I'm sure I've had a lot less than that but I still couldn't put a number on it.

It's very easy as I think in 1998 I went on dates with x, y, z and so on. It's because I've lived in different countries and cities. If I only lived in Ireland there is no way I would have remembered. Plus I stayed friends with about 40 of them.

Daveysil15

magneticimpulse wrote: »

It's not options for me when they decide not to take it further.

I'm someone who looks stunning in a dress, hair done and make up...but look nothing like that in casual clothes, no make up etc... I think that's why it doesn't work out?

I'd rather find one guy who likes me than 70 who thought I was really nice but just too ugly for them

Are you saying out of all those guys, none of them found you attractive enough? Do you have very flattering photos or something because that sounds very strange to me.

mood

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Are you saying out of all those guys, none of them found you attractive enough? Do you have very flattering photos or something because that sounds very strange to me.

Or do you have photo where you are all dolled up but turn up looking totally different?

magneticimpulse

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Are you saying out of all those guys, none of them found you attractive enough? Do you have very flattering photos or something because that sounds very strange to me.

Only 1 guy dated me as far as 25 dates, the next guy would have gone on 17 dates with him...out of the 70 guys.

At least 5 guys were over heels for me about 5 dates in and then it goes wrong...so no it's not always down to the photo. I'm sure some were disappointed as I can't help it I am photogenic no matter what photo. I'm still not ugly thou in real life...I do have scars etc on my face but not huge ones...hardly would be putting up close ups anyway haha

I honestly don't know where I'm going wrong as its true out of 70 guys I should have had more success

Daveysil15

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Only 1 guy dated me as far as 25 dates, the next guy would have gone on 17 dates with him...out of the 70 guys.

At least 5 guys were over heels for me about 5 dates in and then it goes wrong...so no it's not always down to the photo. I'm sure some were disappointed as I can't help it I am photogenic no matter what photo. I'm still not ugly thou in real life...I do have scars etc on my face but not huge ones...hardly would be putting up close ups anyway haha

I honestly don't know where I'm going wrong as its true out of 70 guys I should have had more success

I don't think I'd be keeping count after 20 dates with the one person. Surely that's a proper relationship at that stage? I find your predicament rather baffling tbh.

mood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Think about having 70 1st dates and 70 rejections!!! Hmm who is the options for because it has not been in my favour...

Surely you weren't interested in all 70 of them!

magneticimpulse

Daveysil15 wrote: »

I don't think I'd be keeping count after 20 dates with the one person. Surely that's a proper relationship at that stage? I find your predicament rather baffling tbh.

I had the dates in my agenda so it was easy to count them...not a personal diary just so i know when ive to meet someone.

and yeah was a relationship in that case. I was just giving an idea how after so much effort with little rewards.

Thanks I feel so much better haha. I mean I've seen the same posters on here for the past 4 years...so I'm sure I'm not the only one who has clocked up dates. I've been doing OD since 2002.

I really need to figure out where I go wrong as at this stage after 70 1st dates I'm sure I could just keep going on in circles.

I have to say I'm an expert on the 1st date and come across very witty...into date 2 or 3 and I've used all of my jokes up

I also should prob start getting up early the morning after and put on a full face of make up and get back into bed looking perfect...I'm sure it's the bed hair killing my success lol

knucklehead6

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I had the dates in my agenda so it was easy to count them...not a personal diary just so i know when ive to meet someone.

and yeah was a relationship in that case. I was just giving an idea how after so much effort with little rewards.

Thanks I feel so much better haha. I mean I've seen the same posters on here for the past 4 years...so I'm sure I'm not the only one who has clocked up dates. I've been doing OD since 2002.

I really need to figure out where I go wrong as at this stage after 70 1st dates I'm sure I could just keep going on in circles.

I have to say I'm an expert on the 1st date and come across very witty...into date 2 or 3 and I've used all of my jokes up

I also should prob start getting up early the morning after and put on a full face of make up and get back into bed looking perfect...I'm sure it's the bed hair killing my success lol

Yeah, well some of the same posters from the original thread are still here too!! :-(

mood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I also should prob start getting up early the morning after and put on a full face of make up and get back into bed looking perfect...I'm sure it's the bed hair killing my success lol

Maybe sleeping with a guy the first time you meet him isn't the best idea.

magneticimpulse

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Yeah, well some of the same posters from the original thread are still here too!! :-(

That's what I mean...there are lots still from the original thread...so I can't be the only one who has been plodding along.

I just didn't document all the time as I know some guys I went on dates with found out about OD from this boards forum and read it. I never found out if they were lurkers or users...my guess is that they were lurkers.

knucklehead6

magneticimpulse wrote: »

That's what I mean...there are lots still from the original thread...so I can't be the only one who has been plodding along.

I just didn't document all the time as I know some guys I went on dates with found out about OD from this boards forum and read it. I never found out if they were lurkers or users...my guess is that they were lurkers.

Lurkers. They are ALWAYS lurkers!!

Just as a matter of interest, how many mails you receive do you reply to!

magneticimpulse

mood wrote: »

Maybe sleeping with a guy the first time you meet him isn't the best idea.

Lol I wish I was that experienced (joking). Hell I don't even kiss guys on 1st or 2nd dates. Of course I'm sure that's when you know there is no spark...but it wasn't always the case. Some guys like to kiss on 1st date...some wait til the 4th date.

If I was lucky enough to make it past date 5 etc with guys and sleep with them...everything seemed to be grand up until date 10 or so.

Only one thing to do...look forward to this weeks date

Daveysil15

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Lol I wish I wa that experienced. Hell I don't even kiss guys on 1st or 2nd dates.

Ahh well there's your answer right there. You're teasing them.

magneticimpulse

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Ahh well there's your answer right there. You're teasing them.

I let the guys go in for the kiss...i think if a guy likes you enough he will kiss no matter what. My ex took ages to kiss me, 4th date and that was only cos i got fed up waiting and he was in the friends zone. but looking back it was cute...also it prob meant he was just not into me.

mood

magneticimpulse maybe ask a few close friends to give there honest opinion. Very hard for us to know what the problem might be.

blacklilly

I think the more pressure you put on yourself to meet someone the less likely it's going to happen.
At the minute I'm not putting much effort into OD at all, whereas the last time I really made an effort with it, I had roughly 15 dates in a short enough time period and to be honest I was exhausted by it all.
Meeting someone naturally is far less contrived and automatically feels better.
Out of all the guys I met, I felt there was a spark with two of them but alas I'm still single.
I also think Christmas can be a particularly hard time for single people. Only last night I was at a dinner party with my group of friends, all of which are married or engaged and you do sometimes feel like a failure and, I've recently noticed that my friends have taken a keen interest in match making this type of attention me uncomfortable even though that's not their intention.

magneticimpulse

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Lurkers. They are ALWAYS lurkers!!

Just as a matter of interest, how many mails you receive do you reply to!

I don't count how many I delete...ive replied to about 20 guys in the past month...that would be down to about 5 in contact...1 date that didn't work out as he went to gig and messed the 2nd date plans. Have 3 guys plan to go on date with. Wouldn't normally date more than one at a time but there was a delay as they had Xmas parties or went away Until xmas....

Although that might look good I don't get my hopes up as i have the worse success rate lol

Daveysil15

blacklilly wrote: »

I also think Christmas can be a particularly hard time for single people.

Not as hard as Valentines day. Jasus I hate that day with a vengence. :mad:

magneticimpulse

mood wrote: »

magneticimpulse maybe ask a few close friends to give there honest opinion. Very hard for us to know what the problem might be.

I don't have close friends that would know any of the guys I dated. Also I found in my last relationship it didn't work out because my ex listened too much to his friends advice and they didn't know me...I also thought his friends gf was a nightmare bitch type of girl and that he should have been the last person giving someone advice...

My friends also think I date nerdy guys and would rather I dated someone who only good looking...their advice would be worse lol.

My married friends have never been on the dating scene...they haven't a clue. They met their OH at work or in college.

My single friends date lots of guys but are more ruthless that me and say no after the 1st date and don't give the guy a chance.

The guys I know at work are married or have gf...I've not seen any nice ones...but then I work with 5000 men so it would be hard to know or get to know them outside of my team and they Only have family days and nothing for the single people

knucklehead6

blacklilly wrote: »

I think the more pressure you put on yourself to meet someone the less likely it's going to happen.
At the minute I'm not putting much effort into OD at all, whereas the last time I really made an effort with it, I had roughly 15 dates in a short enough time period and to be honest I was exhausted by it all.
Meeting someone naturally is far less contrived and automatically feels better.
Out of all the guys I met, I felt there was a spark with two of them but alas I'm still single.
I also think Christmas can be a particularly hard time for single people. Only last night I was at a dinner party with my group of friends, all of which are married or engaged and you do sometimes feel like a failure and, I've recently noticed that my friends have taken a keen interest in match making this type of attention me uncomfortable even though that's not their intention.

One of my friends is constantly at that crap too.

Only with beer on board though, and he starts telling me that my ex shouldn't be a bloody ex.

mood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I don't have close friends that would know any of the guys I dated. Also I found in my last relationship it didn't work out because my ex listened too much to his friends advice and they didn't know me...I also thought his friends gf was a nightmare bitch type of girl and that he should have been the last person giving someone advice...

My friends also think I date nerdy guys and would rather I dated someone who only good looking...their advice would be worse lol

I mean they know you better than anyone here so might know if you do anything that might put guys off or something. Maybe you are going for a certain type that doesn't suit you. I don't know!

knucklehead6

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I don't have close friends that would know any of the guys I dated. Also I found in my last relationship it didn't work out because my ex listened too much to his friends advice and they didn't know me...I also thought his friends gf was a nightmare bitch type of girl and that he should have been the last person giving someone advice...

My friends also think I date nerdy guys and would rather I dated someone who only good looking...their advice would be worse lol

As a nerdy type chap we have a very bad social rep!! ;-)

magneticimpulse

mood wrote: »

I mean they know you better than anyone here so might know if you do anything that might put guys off or something. Maybe you are going for a certain type that doesn't suit you. I don't know!

No they don't know me that we'll. I only go on 1st dates so I would never introduce the guy to them. My friends are not on the date with me so they can't say where it goes wrong.

Even I don't know what goes on in the guys head....and the only advice I got was let the guy do the chasing...this was after I let the guy arrange every date...he went on lads holidays and weddings without me and I went on my own holidays...so despite that I think I do let them chase me

knucklehead6

magneticimpulse wrote: »

No they don't know me that we'll. I only go on 1st dates so I would never introduce the guy to them. My friends are not on the date with me so they can't say where it goes wrong.

Even I don't know what goes on in the guys head....and the only advice I got was let the guy do the chasing...this was after I let the guy arrange every date...he went on lads holidays and weddings without me and I went on my own holidays...so despite that I think I do let them chase me

Personally speaking I'd prefer someone to take an active interest in arranging dates. If I was seeing someone and she let me do all the organising I'd get fair pissed off quickly. Cos to me that would imply that she's not that bothered.

blacklilly

knucklehead6 wrote: »

One of my friends is constantly at that crap too.

Only with beer on board though, and he starts telling me that my ex shouldn't be a bloody ex.

Mine do it sober and drunk, tell me they don't understand how I'm single etc, its as if I have really bad social skills, my family, not immediate but aunts, uncles say it to me as well:(

mood

magneticimpulse wrote: »

No they don't know me that we'll. I only go on 1st dates so I would never introduce the guy to them. My friends are not on the date with me so they can't say where it goes wrong.

Even I don't know what goes on in the guys head....and the only advice I got was let the guy do the chasing...this was after I let the guy arrange every date...he went on lads holidays and weddings without me and I went on my own holidays...so despite that I think I do let them chase me

Your picking me up wrong or I'm not explaining myself well. Maybe you friends would know if you get too needy or nag too much or something. they don't need to be on your dates to know stuff like that.

knucklehead6

blacklilly wrote: »

Mine do it sober and drunk, tell me they don't understand how I'm single etc, its as if I have really bad social skills, my family, not immediate but aunts, uncles say it to me as well:(

It only rarely bothers me. But occasionally, it does.

Daveysil15

magneticimpulse wrote: »

I work with 5000 men

5000 men??? Jasus... that just makes the whole thing even more baffling.

blacklilly

knucklehead6 wrote: »

It only rarely bothers me. But occasionally, it does.

I think its because most of my friends were lucky and met their partners years ago, they were never really in the dating scene so sometimes it can be difficult to have a conversation with them about dating because in their eyes, its very straight forward

knucklehead6

blacklilly wrote: »

I think its because most of my friends were lucky and met their partners years ago, they were never really in the dating scene so sometimes it can be difficult to have a conversation with them about dating because in their eyes, its very straight forward

This is very true in my case too. The only one of my close friends who hasn't been with his wife/partner for more than 10 years would be quite confident and easy on the eye for the ladies so on a night out for him it was very easy for him to talk to women.

They don't understand that an outgoing guy in their company (company I'm quite comfortable in) suffers from crippling shyness when chatting to women that I don't know.....