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The Online Dating Thread 3..**READ 1ST POST Oct 2012**
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21-05-2012 2:28pm#1
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So do people have any dates planned?? Or success stories
Lar will kill me :pac:
I'm supposed to have a date this week. He wanted me to go yesterday, but gave me only a few hours of notice, and I was hungover.
Haven't signed into my accounts in about a week, though.
Cinema date seems like a very bad first date IMO, which is what my guy has asked me on. Hmm.
Anyone else got any dates?0 -
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Sort of struggling at the moment. Was talking to a girl on okc and things were going great. Loads in common and we sent loads of messages so obviously it seemed normal to ask her out to which she replied she was just out of a serious relationship with someone she had met off the site and wasnt ready to meet anyone else. She is logged into the site every single day though....
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Sort of struggling at the moment. Was talking to a girl on okc and things were going great. Loads in common and we sent loads of messages so obviously it seemed normal to ask her out to which she replied she was just out of a serious relationship with someone she had met off the site and wasnt ready to meet anyone else. She is logged into the site every single day though....
I don't get that. It's a DATING SITE.0 -
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Yeah it's not the rejection or anything like that as it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the boredom of logging in to constantly see the same people over and over. I understand why now any "fresh meat" get's assaulted by dozens of messages once they join up as there are hundreds of bored people just waiting for something new and different.
And it was the same on Beautiful People, I saw the same faces :rolleyes:
POF has different faces BUT there are nearly tooo many!0 -
Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here
Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again
I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:
Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?
What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?0 -
Personally, stop messaging her! I had faith and I thought otherwise but do you really want to be someone's second fiddle? If a guy isn't messaging me regularly, or stopping during the weekend, I stop messaging, I am someones first choice or they don't get a chance.Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here
Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again
I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:
Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?
What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?0 -
Personally, stop messaging her! I had faith and I thought otherwise but do you really want to be someone's second fiddle? If a guy isn't messaging me regularly, or stopping during the weekend, I stop messaging, I am someones first choice or they don't get a chance.
Thanks Pembily No I don't, that's for sure. I was thinking maybe it was because there's a bit of distance (1hr 30 drive) and she hasn't got a car. I figured maybe she was more interested in someone close to home.
But sure I suppose that wouldn't stop you if you were really interested.0 -
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Thanks Pembily No I don't, that's for sure. I was thinking maybe it was because there's a bit of distance (1hr 30 drive) and she hasn't got a car. I figured maybe she was more interested in someone close to home.
But sure I suppose that wouldn't stop you if you were really interested.
If someone is interested they will make the effort! Trust me.
Owen, best of luck!0 -
Agent Smith wrote: »Cinema Date would be a bad choice i'd have guessed. what if you didnt like the person? you'd be stuck there for 2 hours!
You could say the same thing about going on a dinner date. That's worse. Having to watch them eat for 2 hours!I am not giving up, with OD you have to take it with a grain of salt and have a very tough skin!
Or take a break from it.
Got date. She smokes, which is a toughie for me, but we've connected well otherwise, so maybe I'll get over it/she'll give up. Who knows!
Everyone has their vices! Once you can't smell it/taste it off her, it's not really a problem. Yeah, she will probably have COPD in 30 years time but sure just live for now! :pac: Seriously though, if there's a connection its not too big a thing to over look, right?
Fingers crossed for you. 0 -
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So I'm back on the market after a few months! A bit hesitant to get back into online dating.. let's just say from reading our (hilarious) threads the people who have success are the very lucky and small minority!
So, from memory, I'd have to look through 30 or so profiles to find one I would really be interested in. This might take 10 minutes.
I'd take 10 minutes, on average to read a profile and write a nice message.
Total Time: 20 minutes
I would get a 15% response rate to messages.
Total Time: 130 minutes to get one reply
The bulk of the messages would lead nowhere they might fizzle out or we might not be compatible. Let's say I exchange 5 messages before it either ends or progresses to SMS.
Total Time: 180 minutes to get a good conversation
One in 5 might lead to a date.
Total Time: 900 minutes to get a date
I'm essentially spending 15 hours to get a date. I honestly do not think my calculations are far off. Out of all the dates I've been on from OD I ended up seeing one girl, who was lovely, for a short while but it was going nowhere. I honestly do not think it is worth the investment of time needed to get a return! I would be very curious to hear from my fellow boardsies how much time they have to put in to get a date! Maybe I'm too picky, but that's another thread 0 -
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Give her the benefit of another date G-Money, especially if you got on well on the phone.
First date nerves are a killer at times, and can cause people to be cautious, or on their best behaviour, or overly chatty or of course drink too much and yes sometimes it takes more than one or two dates to figure out if you like someone.
Speaking from personal experience my first encounter with the guy I'm now dating a few months, was a complete disaster but we hung out a few times, letting things progress into 'something' and we're happy out 0 -
The_Morrigan wrote: »yes sometimes it takes more than one or two drinks to figure out if you like someone.
FYP 0 -
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First time posting in this type of thread and being honest, I have no idea what I am doing! I send messages often enough but rarely get anything back. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I do my best to type a good opening message but nothing seems to come out of it.
I'm considering deleting my POF and OKcupid profiles at this rate as nothing EVER seems to happen for me.0 -
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To those of you who are currently thinking of giving up and packing it in......
Don't give up.
Roughly a year ago I took the advice of a friend and signed up to this shit.
I had recently become single after a long relationship so I was not really in a clear state of mind at all and desperate to fill the void of loneliness that I was no longer used to.
Looking back at how naive I was to the whole thing makes me cringe something awful when I think about it!
It's a cliché I know but a thick skin is what you're gonna need for it, the problem with that is your skin won't thicken until you've experienced a whole new world of crap that will make you wonder why you ever thought picking someone up on a night out was the harder option.
Be prepared for rejection, no replies, angry messages from nutcases who can't handle being ignored, fake profiles, teases, idiots who treat it like Facebook etc. I saw most of it.
But it's worth it, seriously it is. I met my girlfriend of 8 months on POF and she's the business. You can accuse me of bragging, don't give a flying pigs toss honestly.
You wanna know how long it took before I met her? How long I spent torturing myself with this bollox? All the ****ty dates (some good ones, to be fair, but mainly ****e) I suffered through?
6 months. 6 poxy months. That's how long it took, while Joe Howya had probably rode that many girls monthly by being a sleazy prat in a nightclub. But that wasn't what I was after, which made it all the more difficult and frustrating.
By the time I met her I was so utterly fed up and jaded with the whole thing that I really was on the cusp of giving up, then bang, all went better than expected.
I also want to say that this thread and the folks who look after it were f'in class to me and everyone else who were going through this ****e at the time, as I'm sure they were themselves. So.....cheers lads and lassies, ye know who you are!
It can work out, if you're prepared to stick it out and put in some hard work. You will get knocked back, ignored and in some cases insulted.
Word of advice?
Be nice, even to arseholes.
Don't get drunk and write stupid angry **** out of frustration (guilty:o)
and just don't take it that seriously. It's a head melt, but the rewards are class.
Good luck everyone!0 -
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Got chatting to really cute and friendly girl (practically my dream girl :P) on Sat night, spent the night and following morning messaging. She was sending lots of nice big long messages, seemed really really keen, I was thinking, may have a possible date here
Sent a reply last night. She was online and she was on for a bit today, nothing, think I've been blanked again
I know it hasn't been a day yet, but with my recent experiences of being blanked after I thought it was going well, I'm very cynical :cool:
Oh another thing... A girl I exchanged a few messages with earlier last week, stopped replying for three or four days but was online a lot (the chat option for her showed up on my inbox) started messaging me like crazy last night all interested. I'm not sure kinda fells like I may be a consolation prize cause it didn't work out with someone else?
What would you lot do? Feel the same and ignore or go with the flow and see what happens?
Hi Herrick .. I've always reckoned that some men/women treat POF as a guilty ego boost. They may have no intention of ever actually meeting someone but they like a quick fix of attention when things are going slow IRL. I've had some great dates (and one disaster :pac: ) from it but always been conscious that it's a bigger numbers game than IRL. The sheer amount of messages that women get on it compared to most guys is probably disproportionate, not counting the psychos licking virtual windows (VMware anyone?). You're obviously an engaging sort with a helping of sensitivity so stick to your guns and be confident in your dealings 'til you just click
To FINALLY answer your question, I'd try to be philosophical about it.. the only way a
man can be harmed by others is to allow his reaction to overpower him. Oh and another thing, sure it's just a bitta craic 0 -
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I met a guy last night. He can't kiss to save his life. Alas I cannot settle for a bad kisser so I'm back to sending first messages again.
Glad to see the new thread up & going.
I think I need to completely overhaul my profile 0 -
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Have a date with a guy from POF next week. I deleted my profile two or three weeks ago but we had exchanged numbers before that and been texting back and forth a bit. He spends a lot of time in London and I've had a few weekends away in a row, but finally meeting up next week, so fingers crossed!
I've also had another guy who completely wasted my time on POF ask me to rejoin "just for him" loads of times. I'm like, fcuk off, A) you've already told me you've no intention of meeting anyone from it
if you want to contact me you have my number and C) you're just annoying me at this stage anyway. 0 -
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Hey all, so I posted in the old thread about my lovely boyfriend whom I met on okcupid. Unfortunately said lovely boyfriend is now ex boyfriend
Was quite upset for a while but have had plenty of icecream, red wine & a good long chat with myself & am now on the road to recovery.
So I'm thinking that I'd like to start using okcupid again. I had deleted my account & have just signed up with a new username etc (new me!) but I really don't want my ex plus a few other scary types I went on dates with before I met my ex to see me. If I hide them, can they still see me? Can I block them if they haven't messaged me first?
Thanks guys 0 -
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Hey all, so I posted in the old thread about my lovely boyfriend whom I met on okcupid. Unfortunately said lovely boyfriend is now ex boyfriend
Was quite upset for a while but have had plenty of icecream, red wine & a good long chat with myself & am now on the road to recovery.
So I'm thinking that I'd like to start using okcupid again. I had deleted my account & have just signed up with a new username etc (new me!) but I really don't want my ex plus a few other scary types I went on dates with before I met my ex to see me. If I hide them, can they still see me? Can I block them if they haven't messaged me first?
Thanks guys
Sorry to hear that Wink.
Hiding them means you don't see them but they still see you I think. Don't think you can block until they message0 -
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Quite frankly I don't know what is worse, house hunting or relationship hunting!
So was supposed to have a date 2nite with a lovely guy but he hasn't responded to txt msgs and has deleted his profile from POF. Oh well, he's clearly not all that lovely if he doesn't reply to cancel grrr.
But check out what I did find today on some guys profile:Your not that good looking dont flatter yourself, in fact if you took all the sh*t off your face youd be a bit of a monster, your only activity is drinking, you bore me, youve no sense of humor you CANT mingle. Your sh*t in bed you wouldnt know what fun was if it was forced down your throat. Your lame... go away. youd be doing well to prove otherwise. You think you can have me but its not that easy, you have to work hard to get this man. Im not arrogant only a little bit if your an ***hole your an ***hole simple as.
Oh and a bit of personality goes a long way... just a bit no pressure, wouldnt want you to suffer from a brain hemorrhage from having to think too much.
Isn't he charming
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