Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

44leto

Keep the damn 3D glasses in your car, I forgot them again, I think I now own 4 of them. UCI robbing bastards 2 euros is what they charge for them.

catthinkin

Never ever ever tell a man his penis is too small unless your married to him then tell everyone then no one else will want him

trust me he will love u for it

44leto

catthinkin wrote: »

Never ever ever tell a man his penis is too small unless your married to him then tell everyone then no one else will want him

trust me he will love u for it

Devilish truly devilish, i salute you.

admiralofthefleet

if you are planning to rob a house make sure you have a bath beforehand. your skin will be wrinkly hence making it impossible for the garda to get your finger prints

u_c_thesecond

If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Voila! It unseals easily

Your health is your life, keep up with it. Get an annual physical check-up.

Live below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.

Get enough sleep every night. An exhausted mind is rarely productive.

Get rid of stuff you don’t use.

Don’t try to please everyone. Just do what you know is right.

Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.

Always be honest with yourself and others.

Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.

Get a chest freezer and buy cheap meats in bulk

Stay out of other people’s drama.

Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.

u_c_thesecond

cartell_best wrote: »

saying please and thank you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiQbI2o07IM&feature=related

bad memories of my childhood

Kev.OC

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

Live below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.

Now, don't get me wrong, that is a very sensible thing to do...but where's the fun in it?


Whatever you do in life, it's important every now and then to take a bit of time off for yourself, to relax and unwind. It's something we all need to do every now and then and it'll do you the world of good.

Rabies

44leto wrote: »

Keep the damn 3D glasses in your car, I forgot them again, I think I now own 4 of them. UCI robbing bastards 2 euros is what they charge for them.

Thats expensive.
We pay $1.

So about 50c or so

Ole Rodrigo

Attention bargain hunters : For a cheap alternative to food, stroll into any Supermacs outlet and simply order anything from the menu.

Galtee

If you are ever in the unfortunate position of being near someone who is choking on ICE pouring boiling water down their throat will fix it.

When posting in a funny story in AH. Always ensure that you have read the entire thread so you can be positive that your post looks original and gets the thanks it deserves.

mattjack

When posting a funny story in AH. Always ensure that you have read the entire thread so that you can be positive that your post looks original and gets the thanks it deserves.

BunShopVoyeur

Snot is not a food group.

newballsplease

Nor fingernails

44leto

Rabies wrote: »

Thats expensive.
We pay $1.

So about 50c or so

Some cinemas give them out for free, just the UCI doesn't. But if you want to see Kate in 3D wearing leathers, you really don't have a choice. (Underworld awakenings)

44leto

If you are in hospital and you see a Doctor with a tie, beware, ties are seldom laundered and great for transporting a host of infections,

Standard Toaster

Worried that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed, to remove the stains.


Don't waste money on them expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.


Viz Top tips

I am pie

Slip a sheet of kitchen roll inside those prepared salad bags when you open then. Double it up and push it to the bottom. You'll get a good few extra days out of them before they turn to mush.

forfuxsake

Be more environmentally friendly and buy brown bin bags instead of black ones so that when you fcuk them over a hedge they will blend in with the countryside.

Korvanica

if you need to do something while having a piss, piss in the sink and rest your knob on the edge, this will leave your hands free to do whatever you need to do with your hands...

Like taking a dump into your hand and throwing it out the window.

You save water and also don't waste time sitting down to do a number 2...

Nalz

Never try to eat tin or metal

mattjack

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

Snot is not a food group.

Nor earwax

candy-gal1

dont fall in love, or try not to fall deeply anyway

save a little every week, itll come in handy believe me

always try and do everything yourself, so your never relying on anyone unless you absolutly have to

love yourself as you are and make slight adjustments where necessary

take each day as it comes and make the most of it

try everything once, twice if you like it, very true

never regret anything, other than things you dont do

figarofigaro

Bring a toaster into the bath tub to keep the water hot.

Attabear

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

Snot is not a food group.

mattjack wrote: »

Nor earwax

Food snobs!

mattjack

candy-gal1 wrote: »

dont fall in love, or try not to fall deeply anyway

save a little every week, itll come in handy believe me

always try and do everything yourself, so your never relying on anyone unless you absolutly have to

love yourself as you are and make slight adjustments where necessary

take each day as it comes and make the most of it

try everything once, twice if you like it, very true

never regret anything, other than things you dont do

That's a song , isn't it ?

Attabear

mattjack wrote: »

That's a song , isn't it ?

It's called 'love yourself as you are and make slight adjustments where necessary' from little known Serbian band "The Pleasantries".

You can find it on their album 'Everything in moderation,except obviously things that are excessively detrimental to your mental or physical health,and smoking'

MayoForSam

You can't push a rope.

Measure twice, cut once.

blackwhite

Relationship tips

- When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes.
- Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, and no woman wants a weak man. If she grabs your hand, squeeze really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.
- Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "You better be....." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her that you care.
- If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think that you're mysterious.
- Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest gift she can ever get.

mattjack

blackwhite wrote: »

Relationship tips

- When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes.
- Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, and no woman wants a weak man. If she grabs your hand, squeeze really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.
- Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "You better be....." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her that you care.
- If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think that you're mysterious.
- Remember her birthday but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest gift she can ever get.

Single ?