Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

Hande hoche!

Or hit the Cuckoo's nest

Sindri

When it says inflammable

Don't take that as a challenge.

G0D

Ziplock bags for EVERYTHING EVER MADE

eyesquirm

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Or hit the Cuckoo's nest

Can't. I'm banned from there. Permanently.

fedor.2.

Wear sunscreen

celj

Recreate the thrill off the Pamplona bull run by dropping a euro in Guineys.

Cheddar and mini cheddar make tasty replacements for lost spirograph drawing wheels.

Justify drinking alone by surfing facebook.Hey Presto!You're now a social drinker!

Mixing gin with tomato ketchup makes an acceptable emergency bloody Mary.

Fool people into thinking you used to have a tail by cutting a large hole in the seat of your trousers.

Convince your downstairs neighbours that you have an expensive subwoofer by stomping on the floor in time to the music you're listening to.

Save space in your freezer by storing frozen peas in the holes of potato waffles.

Motorists.Save a fortune on expensive repair bills by simply turning up your radio full blast whenever your engine makes a funny noise.
(copyright Viz 2011)

Plazaman

^^^^

Foil pick pockets by placing a freshly toasted "Pop Tart" in each pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.

Don't buy expensive "ribbed" condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Fool passers by into thinking you keep a bird of prey by walking down the street wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of raw meat in your hand and constantly looking up into the sky.

Ghost Buster

When you hit my age never waste a horn

RichT

Don't eat yellow snow!

lau1247

thisiswar wrote: »

Don't masturbate everyday, only do it once a week.

Quality over quantity

what do you need the quality for?? passing QA/QC inspection or storing for later?? or worst, after taste??

old_aussie

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Another one I do, being a bit forgetful, is leave something by the front door if you don't want to forget it the next day.

Works for me also.

KTRIC

Never rub another mans rhubarb

celj

Ghost Buster wrote: »

When you hit my age never waste a horn

True indeed.

celj

fedor.2. wrote: »

Wear sunscreen

Good song!

boomkatalog

Don't waste time showering, just spray yourself with more lynx.

B1tches love lynx.

woodoo

Anything you can do the night before work do it. Ironing, making your lunch etc. Makes getting up in the morning easier.

Before work if you live in a safe place go out and start your car engine and turn the heat up full then go back in and eat your breakfast. You will then get in to a nice warm car for the drive to work during winter.

Straighten all clothes when they come out of the washing machine or tumble dryer. Saves time on the misery of ironing.

celj

boomkatalog wrote: »

Don't waste time showering, just spray yourself with more lynx.

B1tches love lynx.

Shower In a can!Can't beat it!

CamperMan

piss away from the wind

ygolometsipe

if you slowly rub a wet match, it will light!

this could save you life someday / if you smoke it could end it (advise with caution)!

celj

ygolometsipe wrote: »

if you slowly rub a wet match, it will light!

this could save you life someday / if you smoke it could end it (advise with caution)!

Always have 2 lighters!Better advice!

Teyla Emmagan

boomkatalog wrote: »

Don't waste time showering, just spray yourself with more lynx.

B1tches love lynx.

There is in fact few things bitches like less then a man who hasn't bothered to shower and has instead just doused himself in yet more lynx.

There is at least one on the bus every morning when I'm going to work. Generally a college student wearing grey tracksuit pants with an unfortunate skin irritation between their legs that they are trying to scratch by cleverly concealing their crotch with their folder.

Revolting.

bonzodog2

If you are a little absent-minded, and are one of those strange people who iron clothes, turn off your phone before you start.

celj

The smell of lynx turns my stomach.
There seems to be 100 different types of lynx and they all smell the same!

pebbles21

Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time!;)

mattjack

When dressing a newborn baby, stretch the clothes ,not the baby.
Social services did not like that one , at all.

muracan

If you can smell fish don't assume it is fish!:o

Olympic athletes; Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower.

Weight watchers; Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place, you fat bastard.

Ladies; An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

mattjack

Deleted User wrote: »

Olympic athletes; Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower.

Weight watchers; Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place, you fat bastard.

[I]Ladies; An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

[/I]

I nearly pissed myself laughing at this

kumate_champ07

Pin_Cushion wrote: »

If you find yourself in this unfortunate scenario, simply rip up the little brown tube that is left over from the toilet roll into diamond shaped poop-wipes. Use sparingly though, supply is limited.

use a sock, turn it inside out after use

Littlehorny

if you notice someone choking on a piece of ice, simply pour a kettle of boiling water down their throat to clear the blockage.