Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

Options
24567…15

Comments

  • Options
    #32
    TEMPLAR KNIGHT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 961 ✭✭✭TEMPLAR KNIGHT


    chin_grin wrote: »
    You've never heard of the mini van then?


    that is a gift from olympus, I am just a mere mortal


  • Options
    #33
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    Never ask a woman what she's thinking.


  • Options
    #34
    TEMPLAR KNIGHT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 961 ✭✭✭TEMPLAR KNIGHT


    starbelgrade wrote: »
    Never ask a woman what she's thinking.


    because women dont think?.....its all becoming so clear to me now!


  • Options
    #35
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Approach women from behind, so the don't see you.

    Always have a squeezey bottle of chloroform, saves unscrewing it.

    Tying hitch notes, quick and difficult to escape from.


  • Options
    #36
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    Don't waste money on a lead. Simply walk your dog backwards holding its tail

    Save electricity by shortening the cables to all your household electric appliances.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #37
    zuroph
    Registered Users Posts: 11,097 ✭✭✭✭zuroph


    Get free clothes by the end of the week by posting yellow bin bags marked "Friday" through a neighbour's letterbox.


  • Options
    #38
    HazDanz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,300 ✭✭✭HazDanz


    admiralofthefleet wrote: »
    Don't waste money on a lead. Simply walk your dog backwards holding its tail.

    From my experience of holding a dogs tail they get very annoyed, kind of a "oh no you didn't" look comes over their face


  • Options
    #39
    Pin_Cushion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 120 ✭✭Pin_Cushion


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    Always check that theres toilet paper before you take a dump.

    If you find yourself in this unfortunate scenario, simply rip up the little brown tube that is left over from the toilet roll into diamond shaped poop-wipes. Use sparingly though, supply is limited.


  • Options
    #40
    Thoie
    Registered Users Posts: 6,344 ✭✭✭Thoie


    Never ask for whom the bell tolls. Feckers ring bells for all sorts of reasons, you could be listening to a dull answer all night.


  • Options
    #41
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Want to hurt someone? Don't get in a fight - simply use telekinesis to burn their house down while they sleep in it.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #42
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Place rag/toilet paper across stomach during masturbation and ejaculate onto it.

    Saves a mighty messy clean up.


  • Options
    #43
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    Always leave a big bottle of Lucozade on the bedside locker before going on a drinking session. There's nothing worse than waking up half cut/dead with a wicked thirst on ya and no hydrating fluid at hand.


  • Options
    #44
    Thoie
    Registered Users Posts: 6,344 ✭✭✭Thoie


    Before scattering the ashes, check which way the wind is blowing.


  • Options
    #45
    PseudoFamous
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,514 ✭✭✭PseudoFamous


    Always leave a bottle of rum beside your bed, so in case you sober up during the night, you can easily remedy it.


  • Options
    #46
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    Always leave a big bottle of Lucozade on the bedside locker before going on a drinking session.

    But not the caffeine packed stuff, surely*?




    *Don't call me Shirley?


  • Options
    #47
    RTT
    Registered Users Posts: 315 ✭✭RTT


    Always lift the lid on the toilet before taking a dump.....it saves a massive clean up!


  • Options
    #48
    Sitec
    Registered Users Posts: 2,964 ✭✭✭Sitec


    Simply piss the bed when intoxicated and save the annoying trek to the bathroom.


  • Options
    #49
    TanG411
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    Avoid parking fines by putting your wipers on very fast when parking illegally.

    Increase the lifetime of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.


  • Options
    #50
    admiralofthefleet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,515 ✭✭✭✭admiralofthefleet


    Transsexuals. Make yourself feel more like a woman by driving a car badly whilst talking bollocks

    Fool women into thinking their opinions are valued by nodding occasionally and saying 'mmm'.


  • Options
    #51
    RTT
    Registered Users Posts: 315 ✭✭RTT


    ThinksAmoral wrote: »
    Avoid parking fines by putting your wipers on very fast when parking illegally.

    Increase the lifetime of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.

    Instead of carpeting your whole house just tie a free sample under each foot. Works a treat


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #52
    TanG411
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,836 ✭✭✭TanG411


    Don't follow Viz advice.


  • Options
    #53
    Chuck Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,030 ✭✭✭✭Chuck Stone


    Wear a garlic necklace to fend off vampires when you're not staying off the moors at night after being advised to by unfriendly English people in a pub... or something.


  • Options
    #54
    thisiswar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭thisiswar


    Don't masturbate everyday, only do it once a week.

    Quality over quantity


  • Options
    #55
    Super-Rush
    Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    Never drink milk from a cow with cancer.


  • Options
    #56
    TheUsual
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,288 ✭✭✭TheUsual


    If everyone says that life is unfair, then in turn, it's unfair to everyone, thus it becomes fair.


  • Options
    #57
    Hande hoche!
    Registered Users Posts: 7,523 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    TheUsual wrote: »
    If everyone says that life is unfair, then in turn, it's unfair to everyone, thus it becomes fair.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o941QdmPFM0


  • Options
    #58
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Don't **** on your own doorstep.

    I'm not entirely sure what this means but literally or figuratively it it seems like it has to be good advice.


  • Options
    #59
    mikom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    Tired of laying out money for haircuts

    Have you considered chemotherapy?


  • Options
    #60
    cofy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,972 ✭✭✭cofy


    If you need to be awake for a certain time in the morning - let's say 7am, hit your head off your pillow 7 times, for some reason it works, I don't know why but it does.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #61
    nice_very
    Registered Users Posts: 1,723 ✭✭✭nice_very


    when you are drunk onboards.ie, go to bed beforewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwA\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\A


Advertisement