Single Mothers to stage a protest at budget cuts

gurramok

EGAR wrote: »

Can anyone give me a link to stats on how many fathers receive the Lone Parent payment?

2%

http://oneparent.ie/facts-figures/statistics/department-of-social-and-family-affairs-2005

hondasam

TheZohan wrote: »

Fancy going for a drink sometime Mammy?

Someone wants to be a daddy?:p

Temptamperu

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

I did NOT decide this, it is men who walk out and leave the WOMEN to look after the babies ALONE, should we women and mothers struggle through life because all these men are not willing to support and look after their kids? Its men who get us into this situation, and now its men in this government who are going to punish us for struggling through life! If you had to look after babies on your own then youd know how hard it is. And we have the right to fight and protect our entitlements because a lot of us couldnt get by without them, some sexists here make out that we just go out to make babies to get more money off the government, how DARE you!!!. :mad:

Thers your problem.

Lord TSC

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

I did NOT decide this, it is men who walk out and leave the WOMEN to look after the babies ALONE, should we women and mothers struggle through life because all these men are not willing to support and look after their kids? Its men who get us into this situation, and now its men in this government who are going to punish us for struggling through life! If you had to look after babies on your own then youd know how hard it is. And we have the right to fight and protect our entitlements because a lot of us couldnt get by without them, some sexists here make out that we just go out to make babies to get more money off the government, how DARE you!!!. :mad:

You know, for someone claiming the government and posters are sexist, you're coming out with a lot of anti-empowerment things in your rhetoric. Claiming it's men who get you pregnant as if you have no choice ("its the man who gets us into this situation"). Acting as if its all the man's fault that you decided to have sex and have four children. Again, how bout YOU take some responsibility? One can presume that it was a joint decision to have sex and have four children.

You chose to have four kids. You decided to have them with someone who obviously, in the end, was not the best choice as a father if he abandonded you. You should be aided but the government should not have to reward you for making decisions which proved to be bad ones.

And for the record, I can't sing, but I can tell if someone has a nice voice. I can't play football well but I can tell you who the best players in the world are. And I don't have kids, but I can see when someone makes bad decisions and then expects others to reward them for it.

gurramok

Balmed Out wrote: »

Why are they protesting? Im aware that the increased payments for third and subsequent kids has been removed but is there something else? It never made sense anyhow, surely with hand me downs etc costs go down, not up..

The latest fashion for the kids as well as for the moms and the Xbox games cost a fortune. They have needs every few months.

Boxoffrogs

gurramok wrote: »

The latest fashion for the kids as well as for the moms and the Xbox games cost a fortune. They have needs every few months.

Hardy har har! Is that your own narrow minded view or are you just going along with the crowd?

Tayla

gurramok wrote: »

Here's an idea, as a woman carries the huge risk of pregnancy, Try having sex after marriage instead of before marriage?

That way these single mothers would get the bulk of a man's assets by law. You know, entitlement to the man's house if he walks away. Sorta helps plug the budget deficit :P

Yea because men are the only ones with assets before they get married, :rolleyes: Most married couples buy houses together and you would want to be a very lucky couple these days to have a mortgage free house while you still have young kids!

hondasam wrote: »

Oh shut up, you are sitting around now trolling on here. You let yourself get pregnant, no point in blaming the men.

She's not trolling. Maybe you don't agree with her but doesn't mean she's trolling.

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

I did NOT decide this, it is men who walk out and leave the WOMEN to look after the babies ALONE

Women can leave men too you know! Kids or not, sometimes a couple can't stay together!

hondasam

Tayla wrote: »

She's not trolling. Maybe you don't agree with her but doesn't mean she's trolling.

Yes she is trolling. how could you agree with anything she said. It's sexist and nonsense.

Concerned Mammy

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

You know, for someone claiming the government and posters are sexist, you're coming out with a lot of anti-empowerment things in your rhetoric. Claiming it's men who get you pregnant as if you have no choice ("its the man who gets us into this situation"). Acting as if its all the man's fault that you decided to have sex and have four children. Again, how bout YOU take some responsibility? One can presume that it was a joint decision to have sex and have four children.

You chose to have four kids. You decided to have them with someone who obviously, in the end, was not the best choice as a father if he abandonded you. You should be aided but the government should not have to reward you for making decisions which proved to be bad ones.

And for the record, I can't sing, but I can tell if someone has a nice voice. I can't play football well but I can tell you who the best players in the world are. And I don't have kids, but I can see when someone makes bad decisions and then expects others to reward them for it.

What a sexist load of rubbish! How would you feel if it was your sister or mother that was in this situation? Would you think it was right that you would have went to bed hungry every night because your dad decided to walk out and leave your mother to look after you? I am fed up with all these sexist right wing anti single mother arguments, they have NO idea how hard it is to raise children and then have the cheek to tell us we are having the easy life when we are struggling through life.

Tayla

hondasam wrote: »

Yes she is trolling. how could you agree with anything she said. It's sexist and nonsense.

Look up the definition of trolling Hondasam!

gurramok

Boxoffrogs wrote: »

Hardy har har! Is that your own narrow minded view or are you just going along with the crowd?

Nope, open minded and know quite a few, thanks for asking.

Tayla wrote: »

Yea because men are the only ones with assets before they get married, :rolleyes: Most married couples buy houses together and you would want to be a very lucky couple these days to have a mortgage free house while you still have young kids!

The courts nearly always decide in favour of the woman, protect the family and all that lark. Whats wrong with not marrying the bloke, you'll have a higher chance of him hanging around once the baby is born. Suppose the welfare is too generous when unmarried.

Tayla

gurramok wrote: »

The courts nearly always decide in favour of the woman, protect the family and all that lark. Whats wrong with not marrying the bloke, you'll have a higher chance of him hanging around once the baby is born. Suppose the welfare is too generous when unmarried.

I don't know why they don't marry them, probably all sorts of reasons. All I'm saying is that whoever the judge gives the house to, won't it just be a mortgage they're getting? What if they can't afford to pay it?

Freddie59

Gophur wrote: »

Fair enough, but why should the taxpayer have to fund this sector?

Why does Ireland not have something like the Child Support Agency, chasing the errant fathers? It's ll too easy in Ireland. It doesn't matter if a girl gets caught, the State is expected to pick up the tab.

Agreed. I know an 18 year-old who had a child. What she received from the State was staggering. Rent allowance which covered a semi-d; medical card, etc.

I am all for looking after genuine single parents as described in this thread, but why must the State (i.e. me & you) continue to pick up that tabs for, in a lot of instances, one-night stands?

samrulz

scholar007 wrote: »

I'll contribute a few condoms to their cause........

A single Mother can be a Widow too you know! Its not always voluntary! -- my Dad died YONKS ago suddenly/unexpectedly but funny enuf I never thought of her in those terms, I suppose the phrase 'single Mother' just wasnt invented/used then!

Concerned Mammy

gurramok wrote: »

Whats wrong with not marrying the bloke, you'll have a higher chance of him hanging around once the baby is born. Suppose the welfare is too generous when unmarried.

Take those misogynist catholic views somewhere else, this is the 21st century not the 50s. I suppose you think we should be chained to the sink as well then? A woman doesnt need to be in a marriage to love her babies, its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

Tayla

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

Concerned Mammy, the woman can leave the man too you know!

Freddie59

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

Take those misogynist catholic views somewhere else, this is the 21st century not the 50s. I suppose you think we should be chained to the sink as well then? A woman doesnt need to be in a marriage to love her babies, its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

Yes the Dads MUST pay. But I would still argue that many single mothers (especially teen ones) are overpaid by the State. No two ways about it.

gurramok

Tayla wrote: »

I don't know why they don't marry them, probably all sorts of reasons. All I'm saying is that whoever the judge gives the house to, won't it just be a mortgage they're getting? What if they can't afford to pay it?

A judge will never throw a mother and child onto the street, mortgage or no mortgage. There will be an agreement in place so the father and mother will continue to pay the mortgage according to their incomes whereby the mother will keep living in the house.

If they cannot afford to pay it through low income\job loss, well good ole Rent Supplement will keep a roof over the mothers head while the father will have to move back to his parents or find a room share.

As to why single moms don't marry before birth of their kids? It doesn't help that its more lucrative for some via welfare to be single rather than married even if they are really single or not.

Temptamperu

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

Take those misogynist catholic views somewhere else, this is the 21st century not the 50s. I suppose you think we should be chained to the sink as well then? A woman doesnt need to be in a marriage to love her babies, its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

They just became irresponsible overnight too I suppose. No warning signs or anything. You can tell an asshole from the first time you meet them yet you girls love the bad boys.

Logical Fallacy

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

Take those misogynist catholic views somewhere else, this is the 21st century not the 50s. I suppose you think we should be chained to the sink as well then? A woman doesnt need to be in a marriage to love her babies, its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

Hmmm...i agree with you that a lot should be done to ensure that guys pay child support for their children, but this who endlessly telling people they are sexist, misogynistic etc is kind of killing your argument i reckon.

Whilst i am aware it's obviously an emotive issue for you I reckon you'll get better responses if you attack people a little less.

gurramok

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

Take those misogynist catholic views somewhere else, this is the 21st century not the 50s. I suppose you think we should be chained to the sink as well then? A woman doesnt need to be in a marriage to love her babies, its the irresponsible men who decide to run away and leave their kids for the mother to look after alone. And then society and the government has the CHEEK to punish us while the dads get off scot free.

Boards, look at this . A newbie poster called me someone with "those misogynist catholic views". ROFL. I'm the most anti-religionist poster on boards Concerned Mammy;)

Tayla

gurramok wrote: »

A judge will never throw a mother and child onto the street, mortgage or no mortgage. There will be an agreement in place so the father and mother will continue to pay the mortgage according to their incomes whereby the mother will keep living in the house.

If they cannot afford to pay it through low income\job loss, well good ole Rent Supplement will keep a roof over the mothers head while the father will have to move back to his parents or find a room share.

Yea, I had guessed at that but what I was getting at was that someone who did marry first before they had kids might still end up with the same social welfare payments and needs as someone who had never married.

gurramok wrote: »

As to why single moms don't marry before birth of their kids? It doesn't help that its more lucrative for some via welfare to be single rather than married even if they are really single or not.

No it doesn't help, you're right there but that's not the only reason people don't get married.

ilovesleep

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

You know, for someone claiming the government and posters are sexist, you're coming out with a lot of anti-empowerment things in your rhetoric. Claiming it's men who get you pregnant as if you have no choice ("its the man who gets us into this situation"). Acting as if its all the man's fault that you decided to have sex and have four children. Again, how bout YOU take some responsibility? One can presume that it was a joint decision to have sex and have four children.

You chose to have four kids. You decided to have them with someone who obviously, in the end, was not the best choice as a father if he abandonded you. You should be aided but the government should not have to reward you for making decisions which proved to be bad ones.

And for the record, I can't sing, but I can tell if someone has a nice voice. I can't play football well but I can tell you who the best players in the world are. And I don't have kids, but I can see when someone makes bad decisions and then expects others to reward them for it.

This is disgusting. My mum had five kids by the time she learned that our father was an absolute prick. Very much too late to decide not to have kids.

hairyfairy00

I am a single mother, i work and i also receive some Lone Parent Allowance, yes it's not easy but i do the best i can. I don't have a medical card because apparently earning just under €200 a week is considered too much!
I am lucky that i have my family to help me with babysitting and to give me and my daughter a roof over our heads.
I was too ashamed to apply for Lone Parents when my partner and i broke up, so for 1 year i lived off savings and the Children Allowance (€140 monthly) but i eventually had to apply and i am so thankful for this money.
I feel for any single parent who have no one to help them, who can't work or find work, don't tar everyone with the same brush, not all of us are after something for nothing!

krudler

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

My babies have the right to go to bed at night not feeling hungry. This is a typical male response, NO idea how hard it is to raise children. Do you consider basic human rights like food, clothing and houses to be a luxury!! :mad:

looks plenty warm under your bridge there.

Boxoffrogs

gurramok wrote: »

Nope, open minded and know quite a few, thanks for asking.

Even though you linked me to an article which if you had read, you would have realised it was quite disingenuous in it's claim.

I am a single mother

I am a single mother who works

I am a single mother of one

I am a single mother with a maintenance order and a supportive ex.

Now here's the thing. I am more representative of single mothers than the (designer)pyjama-clad, chain smoking, alcohol dependent, completely dysfunctional mother of several dysfunctional offspring that many of you seem to associate with the label. Oh, and the figures do bear this out, unlike some of the 'supporting evidence' you've supplied.

The Princess Bride

Concerned Mammy wrote: »

And we have the right to fight and protect our entitlements

You keep using that word.......I do not think it means what you think it means.

Tayla

Teamshadowclan wrote: »

You chose to have four kids. You decided to have them with someone who obviously, in the end, was not the best choice as a father if he abandonded you. You should be aided but the government should not have to reward you for making decisions which proved to be bad ones.

Oh come on, would you say that to a battered wife or husband who had to leave with the kids after a few years when their spouse showed their true colours?

Or what about someone who has to deal with mental abuse or constant jibes all the time and eventually tells the man/woman not to come back? That's an unfortunate end to a lot of relationships.

If a family can't be repaired the parents shouldn't stay together, it's bad for the children to be exposed to excess fighting and tension. Do you think people in situations like that should be punished because they didn't have a crystal ball and couldn't see what their relationship was going to be like in the future?

That argument above is unfair unless of course the man had a prior history of being like that or had other children who he didn't support which you knew about prior to having kids yourself.

krudler

msthe80s wrote: »

You keep using that word.......I do not think it means what you think it means.

treating your vagina like a clown car entitles you to all sorts apparently.

gurramok

Tayla wrote: »

Yea, I had guessed at that but what I was getting at was that someone who did marry first before they had kids might still end up with the same social welfare payments and needs as someone who had never married.

They will get more off the man than off welfare in this scenario as the man will be legally obliged to support the kids when married, plus that house we were talking about. Think of it as a 'lock-in' for a man when he gets married, its harder to walk away, makes him think twice as he will be on the legal radar plus getting married is a statement of commitment.

Tayla wrote: »

No it doesn't help, you're right there but that's not the only reason people don't get married.

What are the reasons then? Making a baby is about loving each other yes? And just so happens marriage is about love, 1+1=2;)

Whats stopping them going down the aisle in a religious or a civic ceremony? It can't be costs as it costs feck all to wed in a civic ceremony.