Having a child under 30 - wasting your life.

deisedave

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Well then you'd be wrong. Because if my tax money is going to support your family, then it very much is my business.

Dude get a life, At what point did she mention she was taking state hand outs. By the way even if she is it still would not be any of your business.

Sunnyisland

Twee. wrote: »

But if you have them younger they'll be all grown up and you're free to live life, enjoying yourself with no kids!

My mam is 53, and I'm her youngest at 22. She's always running into old friends who are stressed with junior certs, teenage woes, even some tantrum throwing 8 years olds. And she's like lol my kids are grown up, heading off traveling for a month with the husband.

Have to agree, I am 49 have three children youngest being 20, typing this in the airport on my way out to malaga :)

Da Shins Kelly

Some of the posts on here make for really bizarre reading.

mackg

Helgele wrote: »

It's a common misconception that having kids early is good cos then you can relax in your 40s. Well, actually the "young mother" of the 20 year old ends up caring for the grandchildren and, if you're really unlucky, the grand-grand children as well...Care meaning babysitting plus financial support, so I don't understand when the enjoying ones life begins?

Decide yourself, who is younger: a 40 year old mother of a 5 year old child or a 40 year old granny with 3 grandchildren.

I've seen this before, they're the same age. Ha got it, and you thought you could trick us!

candy-gal1

have to agree with you there 100% op
i dont even know if i want kids tbh, but if i ever did id sincerely hope it would never be before im at least mid 30s, theres too much to enjoy in life imho.
lifes waaayyyy to short to be saddled with a child, if ever tbh, but definitly not before 30 anyway if you really want one.

theres always options out there, plus having children later means you can pass on your experiences of travels, life, education etc, not having to wait to experience life to the full because you wanted to be a cool mum :rolleyes: or yummy mummy :rolleyes:

WonderWoman!

you can be a cool mum at 28 you ageist

candy-gal1

touche, yes you can

Owen

Given that in the last 40 or so years we've managed to go from a world population of 4 billion to 7 billion I wonder how long it'll be before we limit how many kids people can have.

Personally, and no offence intended to anyone who's lifestyle I'm about to critique, but I find the whole lets get together, get married, get a mortgage, get kids, be kids slave for 18 years all rather unimaginative.

Giselle

mikemac wrote: »

All these posts about spelling are tiresome

I couldn't agree more.

And they're just an excuse from the usual suspects who despise kids and come up with some pretty snide and jugdemental posts in kid threads, to vent how much they despise the parents of kids, in this one.

No I've no kids, before you ask, and no intention of having any for years yet, but that doesn't mean you get to question the decisions of the majority of younger parents having already decided your view is superior.

hoodwinked

Its all relative, everybody wants different things,


hell to me would be putting a career before having a family. a job is just that, a job that gives you a standard of life,

a child, is something that until you have your own you will never in a million years understand. (i still cannot stand other peoples children)


i had a daughter at 23 (young enough to some of you) but to be fair, i love it, we support ourselves we both work (no government assistance other the child benefit which everyone gets anyway) my mums friend had her 4th son at 40 and the difference in parenting is very obvious,only one example would be that they are too exhausted and tired between work and running after an active 2 year old, where as we do have more energy on our side...

she admits herself she was too old to have children and found it easier herself the first time around when she was my age.

but then there are 40 year olds who can cope better with the energy needed.

there is also the health thing to consider. by 30 many women run into serious fertility issues, how do these women who put off having a baby until they have their 'career' sorted feel when it becomes too late to have a baby? devastating them?


there are positives and negatives to both arguments, for me by the time im in my 40's my 18 year old will be self sufficient (hopefully) and we'll be able to enjoy ourselves (hopefully) until we retire.

if i had put off having her would i have had time to travel? probably but i couldn't have afforded it, at least my savings i have now i will afford a better class of travelling in 16 more years! im not one of these people who needs to have everything now, i am prepared to wait


and i have my daughter, nothing in the world is more precious to me then that, soppy but true

DublinWriter

It all depends what you want out of life.

Owen

hoodwinked wrote: »

a child, is something that until you have your own you will never in a million years understand.

That tired old argument ...

westendgirlie

It's not my kids that will be leaving home when they grow up..........it's me!

Sittingpretty

Wow, what an insular, judgemental, tabloid post.

I could be wrong but I'd wager OP is very young.

It takes all sorts and to be honest, the college, travel, work, mortgage, marry, child plan has all become the antithesis of it's original purpose which was to be different. It has become the norm, pedestrian.

Also it is the optimism and lack of wisdom of youth that makes one think you can wait until YOU ready and all your plans will fall into place, oftentimes they don't.

I'm 34 and have children, have done the college, travel thing also, do I wish I was ten years younger when I had them, you bet I do!

hoodwinked

Owen wrote: »

That tired old argument ...

it is a tired old argument i apologise for that, it doesn't change the fact its also true though

Owen

hoodwinked wrote: »

it is a tired old argument i apologise for that, it doesn't change the fact its also true though

All the smilies in the world don't make that statement true.

candy-gal1

it seems a lot of people seem to like the idea of having their children young then being free to do whatever they want at 40 something, rough estimate, but imho would it not be better to be young enough to enjoy your freedom thoroughly in many ways, other than being older and free
? im just asking

westendgirlie

Sittingpretty wrote: »

I'm 34 and have children, have done the college, travel thing also, do I wish I was ten years younger when I had them, you bet I do!

I just want to be ten years younger. My kids can stay the age they are tho

Ps: had my little madams when I was 20 then 23.

westendgirlie

candy-gal1 wrote: »

it seems a lot of people seem to like the idea of having their children young than being free to do whatever they want at 40 something, rough estimate, but imho would it not be better to be young enough to enjoy your freedom thoroughly in many ways, other than being older and free
? im just asking

Depends on your definition of old.

bicardi19

Kaneda_ wrote: »

Ok ok ,maybe 28 would be the minimum,30-33 being a perfect age.

All these single mothers at 18-19 ,the majority of them didnt mean to get pregnant.

You have your school years,then third level education or you enter the job market and try to get yourself in a position to earn a living and forge a decent career for yourself,something that is very important.Having a child at such a young age puts these things on hold.

Growing up, its easy to tell which girls will have a child as soon as they get a chance,its usually the girls from the estates,the ones who wear PJs to the shop,the ones who come from single parent familys themselves,the ones who get a name as being easy,if you get what i mean.

Travel becomes near impossible or very hard at least,kids suck the life from you.

Every baby looks the same the first few weeks.

I love kids,but i also value my life and i wouldnt have a child until i am some way financially stable and have some direction in life.

If you want to move out of home and dont want to pay 150-200 a week on rent,have a child and the the social will give you a house,then proceed to allow the father/bf to live there with you,the entire county is doing this.

Ive never heard such bull****.

I had my first child at 21, I now have 4 kids. I'm 31 now. Never got a state hand out. Funny though people always assume the above and find it hard to believe we have a mortgage and kids at a young age.

So, no the entire country is not doing it!

candy-gal1

westendgirlie wrote: »

Depends on your definition of old.

well going by what people here are saying, 40 something and their children will be all grown up so they will be free to do whatever they want, but im just saying is it not easier and better for yourself down the line to be young and free with no responsabilities whatsoever, if you can, and then settle down later if you want
?

muff03

Kaneda_ wrote: »

Every baby looks the same the first few weeks.

This is how to win an argument ladies and gents!!

bnt

Remember the phrase "life begins at 40?" It dates back to the era when people were having kids in their late teens or early 20s, so the kids would be leaving home around the time you hit 40.

I'm in that range, and while I don't have kids, I see a lot of my fellow mature students at university are in that range, studying as their kids hit university age. So, if anything, I would say that younger is better, because having a kid is not the end of your life - just a postponement, if that.

westendgirlie

candy-gal1 wrote: »

well going by what people here are saying, 40 something and their children will be all grown up so they will be free to do whatever they want, but im just saying is it not easier and better for yourself down the line to be young and free with no responsabilities whatsoever, if you can, and then settle down later
?

It all comes down to personal choice. Different people want different things all at different times.

Call Me Jimmy

Stop fighting lads! If ye have a kid when you're young then you get it over and done with first and then sit back and relax. If ye have a kid older, ye get to be free when you're young and relax until ye 'settle down'.

If ye don't have a kid, ye get to relax when you're young and middle-aged, then do some more relaxin until ye're too old/dead to experience any feeling of relaxation.

candy-gal1

bnt wrote: »

Remember the phrase "life begins at 40?" It dates back to the era when people were having kids in their late teens or early 20s, so the kids would be leaving home around the time you hit 40.

I'm in that range, and while I don't have kids, I see a lot of my fellow mature students at university are in that range, studying as their kids hit university age. So, if anything, I would say that younger is better, because having a kid is not the end of your life - just a postponement, if that.

i take your opinion there, and thats great for you if thats what you want, but after all the postponements theres a chance
(for everyone, not just child bearers/parents) you may not even survive/live till your child/ren are the moving out age, then the things you wanted to do for yourself in being free etc may never come about, that thought scares me imho a hell of a lot tbh.

Squall19

Kaneda_ wrote: »

Ok ok ,maybe 28 would be the minimum,30-33 being a perfect age.

All these single mothers at 18-19 ,the majority of them didnt mean to get pregnant.

You have your school years,then third level education or you enter the job market and try to get yourself in a position to earn a living and forge a decent career for yourself,something that is very important.Having a child at such a young age puts these things on hold.

Growing up, its easy to tell which girls will have a child as soon as they get a chance,its usually the girls from the estates,the ones who wear PJs to the shop,the ones who come from single parent familys themselves,the ones who get a name as being easy,if you get what i mean.

Travel becomes near impossible or very hard at least,kids suck the life from you.

Every baby looks the same the first few weeks.

I love kids,but i also value my life and i wouldnt have a child until i am some way financially stable and have some direction in life.

If you want to move out of home and dont want to pay 150-200 a week on rent,have a child and the the social will give you a house,then proceed to allow the father/bf to live there with you,the entire county is doing this.

My girlfriend has a female friend from work who like you didn't want kids till she was 32.

She wanted to get a degree, travel for a bit, get married, save for a few years so she didn't need a huge mortgage.

She did all that, got her qualification, went abroad, saved about 15k a year with her husband and got a smallish mortgage.

She started trying for a baby to no avail, after seeing a few specialists it turns out she is infertile.

That was a few years ago and now she is almost 40, I think she has actually given up now.I hope she hasn't as there is always hope.

Anyway point is, in every decision you make a mistake!!

So be careful.

homerjay2005

tasha200 wrote: »

I hate little condecending twits. So yeah, defo dont breed.

i dont think she was talking about you personally, just a general observation and in some respects she is right. you have a kid, you are happy. thats great for you and im sure you wudnt change it for the world. and you know no different.

i used to think i would be married by 25, with 3 children by the time i am 30. how quickly i changed my mind once i hit college and started to see how obsessed people are with kids and marraige and how boring their lives become once kids arrive.

there is more to life than kids and i think some people are too quick to take it on board. i know alot of people are happy to have kids, but there are people, who have children at 19 and 20 and, while some wont admit it, their life as they wanted it to be is ruined. and, alot of them dont deserve to be parents and are unable to rare them properly.

Squall19 wrote: »

My girlfriend has a female friend from work who like you didn't want kids till she was 32.

She started trying for a baby to no avail, after seeing a few specialists it turns out she is infertile.

That was a few years ago and now she is almost 40, I think she has actually given up now.I hope she hasn't as there is always hope.

Anyway point is, in every decision you make a mistake!!

So be careful.

errm, she was probably infertile at 25 also, so your point is irrelevant.

candy-gal1

Squall19 wrote: »

My girlfriend has a female friend from work who like you didn't want kids till she was 32.

She wanted to get a degree, travel for a bit, get married, save for a few years so she didn't need a huge mortgage.

She did all that, got her qualification, went abroad, saved about 15k a year with her husband and got a smallish mortgage.

She started trying for a baby to no avail, after seeing a few specialists it turns out she is infertile.

That was a few years ago and now she is almost 40, I think she has actually given up now.I hope she hasn't as there is always hope.

Anyway point is, in every decision you make a mistake!!

So be careful.

exactly, but there are some mistakes you cant/or may be hard to take back imho

she may have been fertile all along though, no
?

JONJO THE MISER

Kaneda_ wrote: »

You have your school years,then third level education or you enter the job market and try to get yourself in a position to earn a living and forge a decent career for yourself,something that is very important.

Not everyone wants a career, you know that dont you?