Having a child under 30 - wasting your life.

stovelid

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Oh the ironing

I understood the point she made perfectly despite the spelling mistake.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say it was infinitely more worthwhile than any of your posts that I've ever read?

Irish Steve

haven't read all 7 pages, so I may be saying something already said, or even possibly disagreeing with views expressed so far.

We had both of our children before we were 30, having married at 20, which was young for the time, but we're still together nearly 40 years later, and one of the nice aspects of having our children at that age is that we're still young enough to be able to be actively involved with and enjoying the grandchildren.

I'm not going down the road of single parents and the other areas other than to say that there are some significant social issues in that whole scenario that are bigger and wider than we're going to come close to finding any answers to in a thread like this.


Steve

Squall19

Kanoe wrote: »

I think about my parents and how it was for them, my mother stayed at home to raise us and my father went out to work. He was due to retire early at 55 and at 54 was diagnosed with cancer and died the following year. It pains me to think that they spent their lives living for us basically, to feed clothe and educate us and when the time came for them to be able to live with greater freedoms he died. Life is just not fair that way and I hope to get a few years out of it while I can. and enjoy the freedom that comes without having to take a dependant into account on every decision I make for myself. I know I certainly get to appreciate things more than I did before and with it expands the capacity to enjoy life to its fullest.

He probably died a very happy man knowing he done his best for his kids.

He didn't waste his life living for you, not at all, you were his life.

The love of a family is life's greatest blessing;)

Duiske

Kaneda_ wrote: »

Ok ok ,maybe 28 would be the minimum,30-33 being a perfect age.

All these single mothers at 18-19 ,the majority of them didnt mean to get pregnant.

You have your school years,then third level education or you enter the job market and try to get yourself in a position to earn a living and forge a decent career for yourself,something that is very important.Having a child at such a young age puts these things on hold.

Growing up, its easy to tell which girls will have a child as soon as they get a chance,its usually the girls from the estates,the ones who wear PJs to the shop,the ones who come from single parent familys themselves,the ones who get a name as being easy,if you get what i mean.

Travel becomes near impossible or very hard at least,kids suck the life from you.

Every baby looks the same the first few weeks.

I love kids,but i also value my life and i wouldnt have a child until i am some way financially stable and have some direction in life.

If you want to move out of home and dont want to pay 150-200 a week on rent,have a child and the social will give you a house,then proceed to allow the father/bf to live there with you, the entire county is doing this.

And what county would this be ? An abundance of sluts and free lodgings sounds rather delightful. I'm packed and ready to go.

illumi

The great thing about life is that we all have the right to choose our own goals, make our own decisions and have our own priorities.
The sad thing about life is that many people believe they have the right to judge people over the decisions they make, or think they are better people for the way they live their lives. I pity those people.

I for one have no problem with the OP for wanting kids after 30, its her choice. But I do have a problem with her judging other young women and young women who choose to have kids when they are young, claiming its a waste of life. Yes, a career is important, but so is family.

Some people choose a career and some choose having a family.

I chose to have kids young because I am a family oriented person and do not regret it. I never cared about going out, partying, travelling or having a huge career.
Having kids young was not a waste of my life. It fulfilled it.
It didn't work out with the father and me. But I have a loving partner in my life for the last few years who is very good to me and my kids. I have the family I always wanted.
We take care of everything ourselves. We just get by, but we have everything we need and lack nothing. We are happy as a family. The only payment from the state we get would be CB. But everyone who has kids is entitled to that.

I do not begrudge any single parent the 29 euros they get off the state per week for 1 child and the 184 euros they get for themselves.
And I would not judge them for living off of OPFP or call them spongers.

This thing about free houses as a OPF living off the welfare is ridiculous. I know families who have jobs and got council houses without having to draw the welfare first. How soon you would be offered a home from the council will depend on

how urgent housing is needed, how popular the area is that you have applied for, the size and type of property you need and how often vacant properties come up.

A friend of mine who is a single parent got a house offered after 10 years of waiting.
Until then she lived with her Mother and Sister.

I don't believe that security is a reason to put having a family on hold. Just look at what's happening to 1000's of families around the country now who thought they were secure. And I know for a fact that it was not the SW recipients who drained this country.

But my point is that no one has the right to judge others for the decisions they make in their lives. Its their life, its their choice.
Choose what makes you happy, what you want, and never care what anybody else thinks. Be it career or having a family when you're young.
Both can be great things.

Dudess

Paparazzo wrote: »

where did the idea come from that you're not allowed to travel when you have kids? I have a kid on the way and fully intend to travel.

That doesn't make sense. You could have the intention to do anything, but that doesn't mean you'll do it when your child is born. Having kids is wonderful but hard, hard work. I'm not saying it means you definitely won't travel, but it will restrict you a great deal. When people talk about "travel" they mean heading off for six months, a year, not just holidays. And the former is most certainly not something you can do if you have children. Unless you have endless money supplies.

Dudess

Squall19 wrote: »

30 is old for a woman, she is well past her physical peak/beauty at that age.

By the time a model is 30, her beauty has gone.She is washed up, that's a model, not a normal girl!

Most normal women are going downhill at 23-24, at 28 there is a noticeable difference in looks between her 28 year old self and 19 year old self.

Ah, a young child's simplistic and silly view of the world.
Stats pulled out of their arse too.