The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

Hagar7

Scots guy,Hamish McTavish is one answer away from winning $50,000 in an American quiz show.
'Okay Hamish,best of luck with your answer,where is Santa Fe.'
'Easy,he's from Lapland.'
'Oh I'm soooo sorry,Santa Fe is in New Mexico,tough luck bud.'

Summer wind

God said to Moses "come forth" but he fell and came fifth.

Microdot

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.

Microdot

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock Cause Jill's real name is Randy.

Capt'n Midnight

Summer wind wrote: »

God said to Moses "come forth" but he fell and came fifth.

God said to Moses "Come forth and win eternal glory" but he came fifth and won a toaster.

Frigating

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

God said to Moses "come forth" but he came fifth and won a toaster.

"Come forth and win eternal glory". Ffs, that's one of my favourite jokes and yis are butchering it

frag420

Sorry to go off topic but is there a list I can put my name on to have the thread named after me too...:D

It can be called "The Frag420 joke thread of often repeated jokes and the odd good joke but that is as rare as a canibals steak dinner"

iLikeWaffles

frag420 wrote: »

Sorry to go off topic but is there a list I can put my name on to have the thread named after me too...:D

It can be called "The Frag420 joke thread of often repeated jokes and the odd good joke but that is as rare as a canibals steak dinner"

A man sat at his computer hoping to hear something original. Curse these wretched repeated lines of text the man said I wish for someone to post something original that has never been heard before so the man tried to make up a joke about cannibals and suggested the thread title be change again.

Capt'n Midnight

Things were going well with my date until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats.

frag420

iLikeWaffles wrote: »

A man sat at his computer hoping to hear something original. Curse these wretched repeated lines of text the man said I wish for someone to post something original that has never been heard before so the man tried to make up a joke about cannibals and suggested the thread title be change again.

What a load of waffle...

Shannon757

frag420 wrote: »

What a load of waffle...

ILikeWaffles...

GBX

Shannon757 wrote: »

ILikeWaffles...

Blue ?

iLikeWaffles

GBX wrote: »

Blue ?

Just shows how warped your brain is!

None of these are conspiracy jokes.

As namesake of this thread, I'm utterly disappointed.

Michael D Not Higgins

Deleted User wrote: »

None of these are conspiracy jokes.

As namesake of this thread, I'm utterly disappointed.

Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes. An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself.

One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!"

God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it."

His friend leans down and whispers, "Damn, dude. This thing goes way higher up than we ever realized."

Mr. CooL ICE

frag420 wrote: »

Sorry to go off topic but is there a list I can put my name on to have the thread named after me too...:D

It can be called "The Frag420 joke thread of often repeated jokes and the odd good joke but that is as rare as a canibals steak dinner"

Deleted User wrote: »

None of these are conspiracy jokes.

As namesake of this thread, I'm utterly disappointed.

*cough*

Nicolas Cage

Nicolas Cage wrote: »

*cough*

Well.

It was fun while it lasted.

King George VI

I used to go to school with a Muslim kid. He was notorious for always being late for everything.

We called him 9/12.

Mickey H

Where does Osama Bin Laden keep his CDs?

In Iraq

emeldc

Mickey H wrote: »

Where does Osama Bin Laden keep his CDs?

In Iraq

.........or maybe in a rack even :rolleyes:

blade1

emeldc wrote: »

.........or maybe in a rack even :rolleyes:

Maybe but they were definitely in Iraq!:P

Microdot

What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf?

A creature that sucks blood from your knees.

Microdot

Daddy what is a transvestite?

Ask Mammy, he knows.

Felix Jones is God

Microdot, your mum fell into some cheese sandwiches, and she got covered in cheese. Absolutely covered in it. She stank of cheese. And hundreds and hundreds of mice came from miles around, drawn to her by the smell of cheese. She was covered in mice. Overcome by them. But she was glad of the company, because YOU NEVER CALL.

Microdot

Q: What does Felix Jones and a bottle of beer have in common?


A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Felix Jones is God

Whats the difference between microdot and a bucket of crap?

The bucket !

Seve OB

Ah here, this is becoming a joke.
Finger hovering on the unfollow button.

Ted_YNWA

Careful Seve, or there will be jokes made about where your finger is.

Skylinehead

Seve OB wrote: »

Ah here, this is becoming a joke.
Finger hovering on the unfollow button.

Note to self: The thread formerly followed by Seve OB

Felix Jones is God

Felix Jones is God wrote: »

Whats the difference between microdot and a bucket of crap?

The bucket !

:pac: